What Made You Want To Swear Today?

[Mungypup]

 

I love my mum, even more so when it's Mother's Day this Sunday.

I might not have many brain cells, but I have enough to know not to disrespect the person that brought me into the world on a public internet forum.

 

You might think it's okay but I think it says a lot about you Crapstone.

My mum is very poorly and I treasure every extra minute I have with her.

 

My (real one in the U.S.) Mother had a stroke last year and I am very, very gratefull that she is still here. That doesn't however mean that I cannot get angry at her, that her behaviour isn't sometimes wrong, or that when I do get angry at her my anger isn't justified 'because I love her', which I do very much. I agree with everything Bookworm said (great to see you back by the way BW hope you & son are ok), I love my mother but there are many things I cannot respect her for, cannot agree with and I don't believe saying it on an internet forum where identities are secret is disrespectful at all. This is a forum where nobody knows the woman and part of the point of the bear garden is to blow off steam that you normally can't. I don't think for a second that your comments were intedned to hurt Crapstone at all, but CS has been through a terrible time lately from what's been posted, and is more than entitled to a whinge if the need arises. Better that it's done on here in secrecy than blowing up at a mother who has also gone through a very tough time.

[Bookworm]

Spot on DD. The horror stories I heard about King's College in Dulwich... yet my DD () got amazing service there, from referral to op about 2 weeks, amazing work done on her and officially discharged from their post-op care as of Monday past, for what could have been a very very traumatic thing.

[hilaryfrances]

the general manager has decided I am fair game to shout at again, I was asking the storeman why a fridge I had sold had not been delivered and before he could answer the mad man started up. Saying that noone could pack it as everyone was off, we were going to deliver it ourselves but job got cancelled etc. All I wanted was an answer not a confrontation. I am sooo fed up with him. I am not used to people shouting. He is a bully, I shouted back at him and he calmed down then. Like most bullies he is a coward. An ugly, shaven headed, bulll necked, red faced coward. I wish I did not have to go to work, what I need is a million people to send me a £1. PLEASE

[Mungypup]

the general manager has decided I am fair game to shout at again, I was asking the storeman why a fridge I had sold had not been delivered and before he could answer the mad man started up. Saying that noone could pack it as everyone was off, we were going to deliver it ourselves but job got cancelled etc. All I wanted was an answer not a confrontation. I am sooo fed up with him. I am not used to people shouting. He is a bully, I shouted back at him and he calmed down then. Like most bullies he is a coward. An ugly, shaven headed, bulll necked, red faced coward. I wish I did not have to go to work, what I need is a million people to send me a £1. PLEASE

 

:eek::evil:

 

Nasty bugger. There is no need for that in the work place!!! Cheeky man. Glad you put him in his place HF! Hope he settles down.

[Mungypup]

I'm bored bored bored. Piles of paperwork that I can't do anything with and am sick of it staring at me. Also getting the tell tale signs of a migrane as teary type blotches have appeared in my eyes.

[Guest wino]

I've just been bitten by a gnat:mad:

 

I thought March would be too early for them to be out and about

[hilaryfrances]

oh well, I suppose it means spring is on its way!

[loopinlouie]

The ammount of dirty emails I have been getting varying from the usual viagra discount to diet medication, who told them I was supposed to be on a diet.

 

But the corker of a title email today was '*oner medicant'

 

Since when has marrowbone been sold over the internet:roll:

Dont tell my doggy:shock:

[Spamalot]

 

I love my mum, even more so when it's Mother's Day this Sunday.

I might not have many brain cells, but I have enough to know not to disrespect the person that brought me into the world on a public internet forum.

 

You might think it's okay but I think it says a lot about you Crapstone.

My mum is very poorly and I treasure every extra minute I have with her.

 

It may not come as much of a surprise to anyone but I've got to agree with Tilly on this one... not only do I thnk it's uncalled for to show a complete disrespect of an elderly persons dignity by bad mouthing them on an open forum but also because I can't think of anything worse than the possibility of something untoward happening to that person and the lasting memory you have of them is a black and white forum post full of comments of a hurtful and insensitive nature...I'm not sure I could live with that myself... We're all growing old and who knows how it will affect our 'personalities' as we reach our 'golden years'... I only hope my kids have more patience with me when the time comes and that they don't use me as a topic of disparaging conversation on a consumer internet forum and that they keep their 'thoughts' to themselves8)

 

Hilarys 'problem individual' on the other hand is a completely different matter.. the sooner that bar steward falls under a bus the better....

 

Good on ya Hils..

Edited March 10, 2010 by Spamalot

[Bookworm]

Why should people get a free pass on their behaviour because of their age? That's something I have never understood and still don't, even as I get older myself. As I said higher up, respect is earned, not owed.

 

I had a grandmother who was evil. No, really. She made my young life an absolute misery and when my mum called me to tell me she had died, I danced a little jig of joy knowing she at last couldn't inflict her nastiness on anyone. I could talk for hours of the many many things she did to ruin my parents' marriage, how she split my siblings, you name it, but i don't even want to remember those. I'll tell you one thing though, I wish *I* had had an Internet forum to vent my anger at her, maybe then I would have been able to cope better with her, and I might not have let her come between my own mum and me in my formative years.

 

Is it uncalled for to show complete disrespect? Like hell it is. She was a complete and utter b*tch, and deserved only contempt and hatred, which she got in abundance by her actions, and I don't give a damn if people think less of me because I refuse to have one kind thing to say about her.

 

If Crapstone is unhappy about her relationship with her mum, I am glad she has somewhere to express herself, as it must be hard for her to vent anywhere else, and I wish people would let her express herself and maybe give her the pressure release she so obviously needs instead of judging and condemning her.

 

Those of you with a loving mum and a good relationship with her, good for you. Not everyone is so lucky, please have some consideration for those who aren't. I just hope that the flaming comments made higher up have not put her off expressing herself freely on here.

[Desperate Daniella]

This forum is to a great extent anonymous. Of course some people get together off-forum, but for the most part people reading anyone's comments about someone in their family driving them mad just won't know the people involved.

 

Crapstone has been dealing with a whole lot of hellish situations lately, and sometimes it's easier to let off steam here than to phone up personal friends and rant, especially because despite how awful families can be there is a certain embarrassment or even shame about talking about them to people who actually know them. You can speak to a friend and have a real moan, maybe be a bit indiscreet, and then cringe the next day about confidences you wish you hadn't actually shared.

 

Unless Crapstone's mother is also on CAG (which seems unlikely) she won't be hurt by what was posted here. On the other hand, if it helped Crapstone feel a bit better by writing it down and sharing it with us anonymously because she was feeling at the end of her tether we should surely be supportive and try to understand, even if some people don't agree with her posting here.

 

Crapstone is a lovely person who has been very supportive to me and to others on this group when we have needed it because we have been very low.

 

Bookie, I'm glad your daughter got through hospital okay.

 

Crapstone, big hug to you.

 

DDxx

[Crapstone]

 

I love my mum, even more so when it's Mother's Day this Sunday.

I might not have many brain cells, but I have enough to know not to disrespect the person that brought me into the world on a public internet forum.

 

You might think it's okay but I think it says a lot about you Crapstone.

My mum is very poorly and I treasure every extra minute I have with her.

 

Fair enough,

 

But you know nothing about my family or what we have been through. You aren't the one having to pick up the pieces or be at her side at all times of the day when others should come first. You aren't the one that has had to cope with her 'illnesses' for over 30 years or her attention seeking.

 

Contrary to what your thoughts are, I love my Mom dearly. If I didn't then I would have left her to her own devices long ago, just as my sister did.

Right now, my Dad comes first as he is the one that's in pain and has GENUINE suffering.

 

I'm sorry that your Mom is ill Tilly but please don't take it out on me.

[caro]

People being accused of flaming when all they have done is show respect for the older generation made me want to swear.

 

Everyone deserves respect regardless of age, and should be treated with consideration. Whether it's possible to keep respect for people if they turn out to be undeserving of it is another matter.

 

When I read Crapstone's post I was saddened and hurt by it. I thought how lucky she was to have both parents, not only still around, but still together after all these years.

 

How must Crapstone's mum be feeling to see the man that she shared her life with for so many years, so ill. Seeing him poorly must make her think about what the future holds, and how she'll cope. She may feel very vulnerable and afraid and need some reassurance that whatever happens she won't have to face the future alone. It may be selfish, but it's understandable.

 

It's all very well being nice to anonymous people on an internet forum, but surely it's more important to give the same consideration to the people in our real lives.

Edited March 11, 2010 by caro

[Crapstone]

It may not come as much of a surprise to anyone but I've got to agree with Tilly on this one... not only do I thnk it's uncalled for to show a complete disrespect of an elderly persons dignity by bad mouthing them on an open forum but also because I can't think of anything worse than the possibility of something untoward happening to that person and the lasting memory you have of them is a black and white forum post full of comments of a hurtful and insensitive nature...I'm not sure I could live with that myself... We're all growing old and who knows how it will affect our 'personalities' as we reach our 'golden years'... I only hope my kids have more patience with me when the time comes and that they don't use me as a topic of disparaging conversation on a consumer internet forum and that they keep their 'thoughts' to themselves8)

 

Hilarys 'problem individual' on the other hand is a completely different matter.. the sooner that bar steward falls under a bus the better....

 

Good on ya Hils..

 

My Mom is only in her 60's so she's hardly past the post yet. Have you never made a post concerning an individual close to you?

 

I will keep my thoughts to myself in future, as requested. I wouldn't want to spoil any dreams of anything other than an ideal politically correct family.

[caro]

Fair enough,

 

But you know nothing about my family or what we have been through. You aren't the one having to pick up the pieces or be at her side at all times of the day when others should come first. You aren't the one that has had to cope with her 'illnesses' for over 30 years or her attention seeking.

 

Contrary to what your thoughts are, I love my Mom dearly. If I didn't then I would have left her to her own devices long ago, just as my sister did.

Right now, my Dad comes first as he is the one that's in pain and has GENUINE suffering.

 

I'm sorry that your Mom is ill Tilly but please don't take it out on me.

 

You have no idea what Tilly has had to put up with either as she has chosen to respect her mother's privacy. You may feel that you were venting your frustrations, but your post caused offence.

 

It's very sad.

[Crapstone]

People being accused of flaming when all they have done is show respect for the older generation made me want to swear.

 

Everyone deserves respect regardless of age, and should be treated with consideration. Whether it's possible to keep respect for people if they turn out to be undeserving of it is another matter.

 

When I read Crapstone's post I was saddened and hurt by it. I thought how lucky she was to have both parents, not only still around, but still together after all these years.

 

How must Crapstone's mum be feeling to see the man that she shared her life with for so many years, so ill. Seeing him poorly must make her think about what the future holds, and how she'll cope. She may feel very vulnerable and afraid and need some reassurance that whatever happens she won't have to face the future alone. It may be selfish, but it's understandable.

 

It's all very well being nice to anonymous people on an internet forum, but surely it's more important to give the same consideration to the people in our real lives.

 

Frankly Caro she doesn't care less. You have no idea what she is like so please don't pretend to know. Vulnerable, afraid? No..just missing the soap operas and loves her time away from him playing the damsel in distress. Did she even bother to call the hospital? She makes excuses not to do anything. You have some fairytale in your head..you don't know my family and sometimes I don't even know them.

 

If this is the response I get on the Bear Gearden when I'm stressed and at my wits end trying to cope then it's better left alone.

[Crapstone]

You have no idea what Tilly has had to put up with either as she has chosen to respect her mother's privacy. You may feel that you were venting your frustrations, but your post caused offence.

 

It's very sad.

 

What a load of rubbish! How could my post about MY situation and family cause any offence to anyone. Have you read it?

 

That's me done with here.

[Thailand]

What a load of rubbish! How could my post about MY situation and family cause any offence to anyone. Have you read it?

 

That's me done with here.

 

Of course! Don't you know there is an agenda going on here?! The members of the 'club' always nudge each other into agreeing, funnily enough. It will be denied and there's is plenty more I could say - but won't for obvious reasons, though I suspect you know where I am coming from.

 

It didn't offend me, and I didn't see a problem with it at all. If I posted about the horrors of my mother (not that you were doing that) and I got the response you did I'd have gone nuts - they should have kept their opinion to themselves. You'd think they have walked a mile in your shoes!!! Well, free opinions and all, rubbish or otherwise.

 

Leave if you want, but don't of the back of that lot!! Hahaha. I am also sorry for Tilly's mum - but no excuse for that rubbish. Maybe she's under the same stresses as you - but it's okay for her and not for you it seems.

 

Chin up, CS - and ignore them.

 

I may or may not elect to respond to 'the club' if they go on one!! If only people knew the truth...ooohhh, so much stuff....nahh, can't. Very frustrating, only thing that stops it being so is the volume of people who know.

 

Go on - attempt to make me look stupid.

[Thailand]

People being accused of flaming when all they have done is show respect for the older generation made me want to swear.quote]

 

People who don't understand their situation is different to others make me want to swear.

[Bookworm]

People being accused of flaming when all they have done is show respect for the older generation made me want to swear.

Swear away. It doesn't answer the question as to why the older generation deserves a show of respect simply because they've managed to live longer than others. And having a go at someone on an internet forum when they were expressing a personal opinion about their own situation is flaming.

 

Everyone deserves respect regardless of age, and should be treated with consideration. Whether it's possible to keep respect for people if they turn out to be undeserving of it is another matter.

Wife beaters. Rapists. Pedos. Need I go on? Do they deserve respect? Sorry, can't agree on that one.

 

When I read Crapstone's post I was saddened and hurt by it. I thought how lucky she was to have both parents, not only still around, but still together after all these years.

In that case, by your own logic, doesn't she still deserve respect for her opinions, even if her living experience is different from yours? Luck is a very relative thing.

 

It's all very well being nice to anonymous people on an internet forum, but surely it's more important to give the same consideration to the people in our real lives.

and maybe being able to vent on here is what makes Crapstone able to get on with her daily life giving that consideration? How many of us can only cope with situations in our real life precisely because we can vent, whether here, on Facebook, to a friend or workmate, or even to the Samaritans?

 

For the last 4 years, whenever the drama has been threatening to overwhelm me in my real life, I have come on here and gone "AAAAARRRGGGHHHH" or words to that effect, as you know. Or on MSN. Or by e-mail. We've all done it.

 

Why on earth should we want to deprive one of our members of the same relief?

 

As some of you know, I lost my mum a few years back. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, both the good and the bad. I see her in me, in my children, in the way I talk and think. I try to avoid her mistakes and I try to emulate her where she went right. But there are plenty of times where she drove me mad and if I hadn't been able to talk to friends then, I probably wouldn't have been able to deal with her for as long as I did. And I completely understand why Crastone needs to vent on here.

 

To put this in perspective, those flaming her remind me of the bank charges situation, where people who never had been charged or inconvenienced by the banks would be telling us all it was our fault and we should have been more careful/responsible, simply because THEY had never been affected.

 

None of us can help where we've come from, all we can do is deal with what we have in our own way.

 

You talk of being saddened and hurt? Well, I am saddened and hurt that some can turn so suddenly against someone who is herself going through her own sadness and hurt, and somehow these people think that her own sadness and hurt is somehow less worthy than their own.

[fluffy_bunny]

good god I can't believe the reactions on here - i'm firmly on crapstones side - my rose tinted spectacles were removed a long time ago regarding my family!

 

i came on here to vent about my uncle but daren't now incase of being shot down in flames!

[Bookworm]

Vent away my dear, and we will listen, nod along, pat you on the shoulder, make you a virtual cup of tea until you feel better for letting it all hang out.

 

.... Besides, I am a nosey cow and I really want to know now what he has done, lol.

[jailbird]

Crapstone

 

I am so sorry about the way you have been treated by a few members on this thread CS. This has shocked and disappointed me. I thought we were here to suppoprt one another, obviously not!

 

I think people should take a good long look at their own lives before being critical of others. We have all had times when our parents have got on our nerves but we have not always had somewhere to voice these feelings in order to release our frustration. Saying that, we do not love them any less but by off loading our pent up feelings it allows us to carry on caring for them.

 

The opinions above are completely unecessary and smack of neglect on those responsible.

[empowered]

Swear away. It doesn't answer the question as to why the older generation deserves a show of respect simply because they've managed to live longer than others. And having a go at someone on an internet forum when they were expressing a personal opinion about their own situation is flaming.

 

Wife beaters. Rapists. Pedos. Need I go on? Do they deserve respect? Sorry, can't agree on that one.

 

In that case, by your own logic, doesn't she still deserve respect for her opinions, even if her living experience is different from yours? Luck is a very relative thing.

 

and maybe being able to vent on here is what makes Crapstone able to get on with her daily life giving that consideration? How many of us can only cope with situations in our real life precisely because we can vent, whether here, on Facebook, to a friend or workmate, or even to the Samaritans?

 

For the last 4 years, whenever the drama has been threatening to overwhelm me in my real life, I have come on here and gone "AAAAARRRGGGHHHH" or words to that effect, as you know. Or on MSN. Or by e-mail. We've all done it.

 

Why on earth should we want to deprive one of our members of the same relief?

 

As some of you know, I lost my mum a few years back. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, both the good and the bad. I see her in me, in my children, in the way I talk and think. I try to avoid her mistakes and I try to emulate her where she went right. But there are plenty of times where she drove me mad and if I hadn't been able to talk to friends then, I probably wouldn't have been able to deal with her for as long as I did. And I completely understand why Crastone needs to vent on here.

 

To put this in perspective, those flaming her remind me of the bank charges situation, where people who never had been charged or inconvenienced by the banks would be telling us all it was our fault and we should have been more careful/responsible, simply because THEY had never been affected.

 

None of us can help where we've come from, all we can do is deal with what we have in our own way.

 

You talk of being saddened and hurt? Well, I am saddened and hurt that some can turn so suddenly against someone who is herself going through her own sadness and hurt, and somehow these people think that her own sadness and hurt is somehow less worthy than their own.

 

I couldn't agree more. This will be the first Mothers day without my mum.

For the first time I can celebrate the day how I want with my adult children. She died last summer after suffering with dementia which actually made her easier to cope with. But for all my life, we, all the family had had to put up with her moods. She constantly had to be the centre of attention, wherever we were, and every celebration be it Christmas, birthdays etc, we were all wondering what mood she would be in, because it would ruin the day. I felt constantly sick and nervous at meeting her. She and my father joined us on a family farm holiday years ago. I had to get my father to take her home after she was obnoxious to the farmers wife who had come in to babysit. All my father could say "she's my cross, and I've got to bear her".

 

I cried when I heard she had died, but havn't cried since, and for that I feel tremendously guilty. However, not a day goes by when I don't think of her... I have a large photo of her in front of me as I type this. I try instead to remember the silly times we had, some of the happier memories instead, but all I honestly feel now is the relief.

 

Crapstone... come back. I know exactly where you are coming from and I like to think we were/are a fairly normal functioning family! If you can't vent your feelings here, the way we do about other problems in life, then it would be far more dangerous to vent them off line and cause potential long lasting problems.

[SOD'EM]

Swear away. It doesn't answer the question as to why the older generation deserves a show of respect simply because they've managed to live longer than others. And having a go at someone on an internet forum when they were expressing a personal opinion about their own situation is flaming.

 

Wife beaters. Rapists. Pedos. Need I go on? Do they deserve respect? Sorry, can't agree on that one.

 

In that case, by your own logic, doesn't she still deserve respect for her opinions, even if her living experience is different from yours? Luck is a very relative thing.

 

and maybe being able to vent on here is what makes Crapstone able to get on with her daily life giving that consideration? How many of us can only cope with situations in our real life precisely because we can vent, whether here, on Facebook, to a friend or workmate, or even to the Samaritans?

 

For the last 4 years, whenever the drama has been threatening to overwhelm me in my real life, I have come on here and gone "AAAAARRRGGGHHHH" or words to that effect, as you know. Or on MSN. Or by e-mail. We've all done it.

 

Why on earth should we want to deprive one of our members of the same relief?

 

As some of you know, I lost my mum a few years back. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, both the good and the bad. I see her in me, in my children, in the way I talk and think. I try to avoid her mistakes and I try to emulate her where she went right. But there are plenty of times where she drove me mad and if I hadn't been able to talk to friends then, I probably wouldn't have been able to deal with her for as long as I did. And I completely understand why Crastone needs to vent on here.

 

To put this in perspective, those flaming her remind me of the bank charges situation, where people who never had been charged or inconvenienced by the banks would be telling us all it was our fault and we should have been more careful/responsible, simply because THEY had never been affected.

 

None of us can help where we've come from, all we can do is deal with what we have in our own way.

 

You talk of being saddened and hurt? Well, I am saddened and hurt that some can turn so suddenly against someone who is herself going through her own sadness and hurt, and somehow these people think that her own sadness and hurt is somehow less worthy than their own.

 

 

I don't want to get involved but I have to say a big WELL PUT BOOKSTER.

 

And just so I don't get on the wrong side of people whom say we should respect pensioners, I have now put Ian Brady on my Christmas card list. After all, he is a pensioner.