Miserable at work

[London1971]

Or the age old remedy when a good job goes bad. Start going to interviews!

[king12345]

I don't condone it either, especially psychological violence from a low life so called manager.

[letsmakeamark]

You dont need violence just the thought of what can happen usually sorts it out.

[renegadeimp]

Good old days when a punch in the face would have sorted all of this immediately...

No police, no investigation, no emails, no paperwork, just a good old "get back in your cage" punch.

Sometimes I'm so tempted to do it one more time in modern days just to see if it still works.

Obviously op, don't do it, unless you're as old school as me and can blame your age.

 

Violence doesnt solve anything. It will end up with you in prisons or a hefty fine and criminal record simply because you didnt go through the proper procedure. Please dont give advice like this again.

[Laura Thyme]

Good old days when a punch in the face would have sorted all of this immediately...

No police, no investigation, no emails, no paperwork, just a good old "get back in your cage" punch.

Sometimes I'm so tempted to do it one more time in modern days just to see if it still works.

Obviously op, don't do it, unless you're as old school as me and can blame your age.

What days are you talking about? The Wild West? Because a punch in the face would have been considered assault even decades ago.

 

I'd love to have shot a few bosses, or at least to have wrecked their offices and IT systems, but I knew that would be a criminal offence and I could end up with a record if not in prison, so I took them to the Tribunal instead. Got a small settlement in 2004 and a much better one in 2016. It does take time and patience though.

 

I doubt you could use your age as mitigating circumstances when facing criminal charges for assault.

[king12345]

Mine wasn't advice, just vented frustration at the op situation.

Being a small company with family at the top i doubt anything rather than ET could solve it.

Someone suggested finding another job and this seems the best solution.

Look for another company to work for, give notice and leave them.

They'll miss you more than you'll miss them.

[lost1701]

listen, in all honesty.......this is my 10ps worth and im not keyed up very well..

 

however...noone is above you or below on a human scale..yeah they have a 'position' above you..Noone should be screaming at you.

 

Your first port of call is to start looking for another job role,

if you want to take the company on...it depends what the best outcome is, as in endgame.

 

Now someone did mention a punch in the face..im all on that suggestion, but punch in the face doesnt achieve much. Theres many more ways to sting someone on a personal scale..regardless.. the overview is its just a job.

 

Even if you resolve any issues, there will always be an undercurrent. Start looking and get out.

[Debvfm]

Thanks all for your input. I am actively looking for another job and have had two interviews.

 

Just an update:- I sent the following email and I will also type his response. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

 

Director (I won't give his name for obvious reasons)

 

With me being out of the office yesterday and this morning I appreciate that we haven't had the time to discuss what happened in the kitchen in front of xxxxx and within earshot of the whole office on Wednesday morning.

 

I have to say I was shocked and very upset to be spoken to like that by you considering our long standing close working relationship. I have always given my all to the company and to be sworn at and shouted at like that in front of other members of staff was a huge shock.

 

You know that I am a single working mother and to feel that I cannot speak to you frankly or that I cannot approach you is distressing to say the least.

 

Perhaps we can discuss this when you return from holiday?

 

Response:

 

Unfortunately it was an accumulation of the way you have conducted yourself with me and your ongoing negative and oppositional stance to pretty much everything I ask you to do that led me to lose my temper. I am only human and that conversation tipped me over the edge that day.

 

To say that your negativity and general attitude causes me stress would be a huge understatement. It is proving to be a huge strain on me and affecting my day both in and out of the office.

 

I went to great lengths to go out of my way to discuss matters with you on the evening of the xth January 2018 and to let you know exactly how I wanted you to change attitude wise and how I wanted you to revert to your old self. Things seemed to have improved for a few weeks and I had hoped that you had turned a corner. However in the last week or so you seem to have reverted to type and this has been hugely disappointing and stressful.

 

Regardless I am of course happy to discuss this with you face to face when I return.

Edited February 19, 2018 by honeybee13
Removing colleague name and date

[ericsbrother]

B**ll*cks

you bring up a load of irrelevant chatter and dont say what you expect to happen and that allows him to turn it around and blame you.

You have done yoyurself no favours. Is this your company grievance procedure when compalining about an assault by another member fo staff, you writea nice email to the person who attacked you?

[Debvfm]

No Ericsbrother its isn't. The problem is there is NO GRIEVANCE PROCEDURE. People are required to go through their line manager (I am the line manager) and then if not successful then to the Director (the person who attacked me). I have never come across this in the work place which is why I came here for advice, nice to know that I have done myself no favours.

 

Not quite sure what I should have done ........................

[disgruntled2007]

No Ericsbrother its isn't. The problem is there is NO GRIEVANCE PROCEDURE. People are required to go through their line manager (I am the line manager) and then if not successful then to the Director (the person who attacked me). I have never come across this in the work place which is why I came here for advice, nice to know that I have done myself no favours.

 

Not quite sure what I should have done ........................

 

You state you are the line manager and I presume you therefore hold a position of authority over other staff members. I further assume, as a manager, you are a responsible and intelligent person.

 

Would it not be reasonable for someone in a position of authority to have a moral responsibility to understand the very basics of employment law within the context of their role? I would have thought that everyone in a management role would have made themselves aware of grievance procedures, whether formally recorded or not*, and the requirements of the employer to have a grievance procedure.

 

*your employer is required by law to have a written grievance procedure. A ten second internet search would have revealed this.

[Debvfm]

I do have a basic knowledge (not sure where the moral responsibility comes in) but I am no expert. My role is purely Sales (although a year ago I was cited as the most senior person in the company, my Director has recently changed that verbally I hasten to add not in writing).

 

If I am totally honest I was worried about a formal grievance (ACAS gave two lots of advice) as it is such a small company only 10 of us here. I am a single parent, have a disabled son and need my wage.

 

I have seen sight of the Grievance Procedure and that is to go to me - and then him and I did.

[London1971]

Drunken phone calls at the weekend? Asking you out for a drink? wow!! And the director is OK with this? And I agree with Erics brother, this would not be happening if you were a man.

 

I know this has happened at the company where I work, and it was reported to HR, the perpetrator (senior manager) was sacked. Do you have an HR person / department with a complaints procedure?

 

Everything else is bad, but

 

The phone calls, really take this over the edge

 

https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker

 

The guy is stalking you and it's a crime, report it to the police.

 

Did you do anything about this, is that guy still calling you at all hours?

[Debvfm]

No he isn't he has been told to stop by the Director and he has thankfully. I have been totally undermined by the Director - I emailed him directly about a new customer's booking about to go wrong and he forwarded to the Controllers (I am copied into the Group he obviously forgot). With words to the effect of - I've told her not to come in here (the open plan office) like a bull in a china shop so this is now basically what I get (attaching the email). I am now just sitting back watching his company turn to **** rather than mention it. I only get undermined if I do but considering that I am out of the office twice a week walking the streets in a bid to get work, I think I am entitled to be fed up if the customer isn't looked after, it is after all my professional reputation at stake here. I am customer facing whereas they are not.

[London1971]

Ok that is excellent news, no more weird calls !

 

In my opinion, get another job, it's great you are looking at the moment. In fact the job market for good sales people is booming right now. !In six months all this will be a distant memory, and it will be your current company's loss.

 

Work for a company with a proper HR department, where I work they are absolutely brilliant at sorting out these sort of problems.

[Debvfm]

Thank you London1971 - I am actively looking and have applied for a couple today. I just feel for nearly 5 years of hard work and loyalty this is how I get repaid. As you say their loss. Sooner I am out of here the better.

[honeybee13]

Hi Deb.

 

To keep this confidential, I've edited a post earlier to remove your colleague's name and part of the date you gave in the email to your director.

 

HB

[Debvfm]

Thank you honeybee13 much appreciated.

[ericsbrother]

yes there is, just because your copmpany doesnt want to use employemnt law doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

 

I would bet that the company has more than 1 director listed in its Companies House register so you can always write to the other directors and you can still take the matter up externally.

 

What shuld you have done? waited until he was back from hols and make a formal comlaint about his behaviour and reiterate that it is assault Your comments about being a sigle mum are completely irrelevant to any of this and as said that has allowed him to mitigate his actions because it look like you are trying to mitigate something you have done by mentioning this or it may be seen as an effort to appease because you are showing desparation to keep in the job.

 

Just telling him he had failed to behave in a way that fits in with employment and human rights legislation ( always a tricky one as many see this as not being applicable or the last refuge of scoundrels) but whatever you want to put across has to be formal and fit in with the legislation or protocols you would with to use so ACAS code of conduct for example.

 

That is why I showed despair at your communication.

 

Lets face it, the trust between yourself and the compay has broken down so dont start worrying about what he thinks of you at this late stage. Get that CV out there and despite what you mays ee as hostile posting I am wanting you to get a resut out of this so the bullying caveman may possibly have to start and learn a few things or risk his business turning to dust

 

.

No Ericsbrother its isn't. The problem is there is NO GRIEVANCE PROCEDURE. People are required to go through their line manager (I am the line manager) and then if not successful then to the Director (the person who attacked me). I have never come across this in the work place which is why I came here for advice, nice to know that I have done myself no favours.

 

Not quite sure what I should have done ........................

Edited February 19, 2018 by honeybee13
Paras

[Debvfm]

ericsbrother - Yes there are 2 directors. My boss and his wife. He has followed up with me and asked when I wanted to discuss my email. I have said at his earliest convenience.

 

I have downloaded a voice recorder to my phone and will use that. I am applying for lots of jobs - I am sure something will come up soon. In the meantime, I keep myself to myself and offer no input at all so that I cannot get shouted at again.

[ericsbrother]

get writing to the other director as well. taliking wont get you anywhere, you need a paper trail and one that shows hubby up may well get an earful at home unless she is a director just to be a shareholder and reduce their tax burden. even so the thought of being dragged up in front of a tribunal when you now nothing may well get her to at least ask him what the hell is going on.

So, you put together a proper written grievance letter and present it to HER

[Debvfm]

Good idea - she is a shareholder to reduce the tax burden. No input into the business at all. Of late I have also noticed lots of unsavoury (I am sure illegal) methods of gaining more revenue. It really does not sit well with me so I have to get out of here. I am not dishonest and can't work for anyone who is.

[king12345]

Mind the difference between illegal and immoral/unconventional.

Lots of perfectly legal practices are wrong at many levels.

[ericsbrother]

but do dig a little deeper into any "odd" practices and keep your information to yourself at present.

[Debvfm]

I am sure what he is doing is against the law. I will keep it to myself at present - not sure I would have the heart to use it anyway BUT it does make me feel ashamed to work here. I cannot condone what is happening. Awful way to run a business.