For all Who Work With Rude Customers

[kiptower]

For all Who Work With Rude Customers, shame WE can't actually do this !

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.

He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'..

The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first,

and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.' The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the

passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone:

'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal - 'we have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.' With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,

the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!'

Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit) 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that

too.'

[Rooster-UK]

[Blondmusic]

LMFAO. Thanks for the laugh. :lol::lol:

[Dodgy Geezer]

[ErikaPNP]

Very good!!

[loopinlouie]

Very witty and yet still polite way to handle him:D

[babybear39]

:lol:

[Fred Bassett]

Some years ago there was a story about Muhammed Ali on a plane. Just before it was about to take off, the passengers were requested to put their seat belts on and Ali refused to do so.

 

He was approached by a Stewardess who asked him to buckle up. Apparently, Ali said "Superman don't need no seat belt", to which the Stewardess replied "No and Superman don't need no bloody plane either".

 

Fred

[Thailand]

A repeat, but on a similar theme....

 

A plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself. He came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be fab."

 

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big, noisey brute engines. I asked you to raise your tray-z-poo so that El Capitan can put us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Put the tray up, b*tch!"

[sea-sidelady]

Brilliant!

[babybear39]

Awsome

[Mungypup]

:d:d

 

Er, Smiley's not working for some reason! Above is supposed to be 3 big grins.

[sea-sidelady]

It can sometimes do that, refresh the page and trying again before posting can sometimes help.

[The GodMother]

they are both brill.

[Brassed off]

Ha, brilliant Not seen that one before Kip

[The GodMother]

I thought u would love it bo.

 

Have also shown OH and he likes it to.

[badboy09]

heres some ones u might like also lol

 

Funny Airline Cabin Crew Announcements

 

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight 'safety lecture' a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples of funny airline cabin crew announcements:

1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!'

2. On a Continental Flight with a very 'senior' flight attendant crew, the pilot said, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.'

3. On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4. 'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane'

5. 'Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.'

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella. WHOA!'

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight a announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.'

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: 'Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.'

9. 'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.'

10. 'Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.'

11. 'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.'

[badboy09]

heres little joke for ya to

 

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

 

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and

said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

 

Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

 

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first -

 

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff.

 

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.

 

Why do you suppose that is?"

 

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

 

To which the little girl replies,

 

"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

[The GodMother]

heres little joke for ya to

 

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

 

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and

said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

 

Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

 

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first -

 

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff.

 

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.

 

Why do you suppose that is?"

 

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

 

To which the little girl replies,

 

"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

 

 

LOL now let me think where l could use that. Oh yes on the goverment.