Charley's Angels

[KnellyK]

Is the site team meeting place now?

 

We used to only have one, now we have three ~ in a row!

 

 

 

[Robdblynd]

Bit like buses really ....................... they always seem to come in threes as well.

 

 

 

I'm here Uk, just been very busy lately with hospital visits to get my leg sorted .............................. got the all clear now from both surgeons and the physio ......... it's just a matter of carrying on with the exercises and waiting for it to return to normal. Add in the practice I'm having to do for the big archery comp I'm entered in June and I never seem to have any spare time.

 

 

I am so sorry you're having such problems Kia ............ but as Mr Lex says, you are a fighter and you will come through this, just look inside yourself and see how strong you really are.

 

 

Cf seems to have abandoned us to our fate while he's roaming the countryside in search of sales ......................... but if I know him, he'll be back ..................... he can't help himself.

[kia]

Hi Kia,

 

knowing you, you wont do that Hun, your a little fighter. Sorry to hear about you Dad and I know you'll do the best for him. We had something simalar with the dear MIL, she thought she had people under the floorboards Look after yourself and come and shout at us when you need too.

 

Lex

thanks 1ex cheered me up reading this i dont fee1 very strong at the moment cos just to top it a11 the guy i was seeing was s1eeping with two peop1e at the same time :eek:and 1ying to both of us :(so im having to try cope with that cos this person was someone i cou1d ta1k about my dad too and now fee1 i havent got that now so im strugg1ing a bit and to cap it a11 my dads trying to escape where he is and caro we to1d him the truth and he started crying that he wants to home to his home of 40 years so now what do we do cos cant he1p thinking i wou1d be the same in his position but hes sti11 seeing f1ying kittens and wandering around at night confused as to where he is so he wi11 be in danger at his home cos of the stairs etc so dont know what to do now :confused:xkia

[**Tilly**]

Kia ask to have a meeting with the nursing manager, you may find your dad may need to be reassessed, also ask to have a look at his careplan, and ask them to add anything you feel is necessary to help your dad settle in little things can make all the difference, talk to the carers about your concerns he should have a key worker , take things in for him from home so it looks a bit more familiar, he will settle in time:)

 

 

Tilly

Edited April 16, 2009 by **Tilly**

[Mr lex]

Hi Kia,

 

Thats a good call by Tilly, I would take it up with them.

[emmaf01]

It is always difficult for a family when someone has to go into a care home- I know I went through the mill myself when my Mum had to go in. And the home and people were lovely, just my Mum hated it but wasn't safe at home any more.

 

Do as Tilly says and be kind to yourself as well. It is a tough decision but the right one. If your Dad was feeling alright he would know it is the right decision as well.

 

As for the ex- some people have no class, the way they treat people's feelings. Chin up Kia- the right person will come along, unfortunately in their own sweet time! And you can still talk to us.

[charleyfarley]

Blimey! I go away for a few days and when I come back, this place has become all sensible and clean and smut-free:eek:

 

 

kisskiss, really sorry to hear about your dad. I count myself fortunate that I never had to watch my own dad slowly deteriorate like that so I can only say chin up and keep smiling........but it can't be easy. And as for your fella cheating on you........how many times have I told you, all men are cheating barstewards and not to be trusted....except maybe some of us:p

 

 

Anyway.............today is a red letter day in the CF household...........I was able to tell the people at the Jobcentre to stuff their JSA after almost six months and nearly 60 job applications. As of Monday next, I am no longer one of Gordon's 2 million, and have become a useful member of society once more. Probably won't be any better off financially, but at least I'll feel better. I'll be self-employed for the first time in my life, which'll be a challenge, but at least I'll stand and fall by my own efforts rather than relying on other people's decisions.

 

 

So it's back to normal time again..........and let the smut flow freely once more:p:p:D

[determindator]

All the very best to you Charley in your new job.

 

Tater!!

[ukaviator]

Congratulations Charlie.

 

No Angels today?

[emmaf01]

Congratulations on the job! And being your own boss- does that mean you have to whinge about yourself behind your own back?

[kia]

Kia ask to have a meeting with the nursing manager, you may find your dad may need to be reassessed, also ask to have a look at his careplan, and ask them to add anything you feel is necessary to help your dad settle in little things can make all the difference, talk to the carers about your concerns he should have a key worker , take things in for him from home so it looks a bit more familiar, he will settle in time:)

 

 

Tilly

awwww thanks ti11y we were ca11ed in today cos he tried to escape and got himse1f into a he11 of a state cos he didnt know where he was then started having a go at a11 the staff so they phoned my brother to come out so we had to go down there and we both just 1ost it with him to1d him hes got to stay in there cos he does 1oves it in there so we just said u need to stay otherwise the socia1 services wi11 move u to another home which might not be as nice which it is 1ove1y in there cou1dnt have found one bette had we tried the staff and everything are the best just he wants home so we11 i think after having a te11ing off and basica11y te11ing him in no uncertain terms that hes staying 1east ti11 after my ho1s cos not through any p1anning we are a11 going away at same time so he has to stay at 1east ti11 we are a11 back i know seems crue1 but we just want him to be safe which on his own he wont be hes seeing mi11ions of bricks now everywhere he even showed me where they are :eek:our fami1y doc has been to see which i didnt know about cos been fighting a chest infection myse1f so hadnt been in since tuesday so hes uped his tab1ets to one tab twice a day from ha1f twice a day but they dont start ti11 next tuesday cant see it working myse1f but there trying i suppose its such a worry though cos dont 1ike te11ing my dad off but it wasnt working been nice to him and today was scarey the sea isnt far from where he was :eek:hmm good point about the things from home we just worried he wou1d think we were chucking him out and it wou1d make him worse what they are gonna do it the docs coming back to do a dementia assessment when hes ca1med down a bit he tried other day but cou1dnt get anything out of him on1y im going home so had to give up cos he was too agitatated to carry on his care worker is a woman ca11ed nikki who is 1ove1y so we a11 sat and ta1ked today i do think hes got worse cos no one visited from wed to today but cou1dnt be he1ped with chest prob1ems didnt wannna spread it to the other o1d ones in there its so diffucu1t to know what to do for the best ti11y but thanks for he1ping tis much appreciated:) i11 keep u updated gonna try take him out next week to town maybe change of scenery wi11 he1p take him in taxi and back my unc1es are both going tomorrow to see him so he wi11 1ike that its so hard getting o1d isnt it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxkia:confused:

[kia]

It is always difficult for a family when someone has to go into a care home- I know I went through the mill myself when my Mum had to go in. And the home and people were lovely, just my Mum hated it but wasn't safe at home any more.

 

Do as Tilly says and be kind to yourself as well. It is a tough decision but the right one. If your Dad was feeling alright he would know it is the right decision as well.

 

As for the ex- some people have no class, the way they treat people's feelings. Chin up Kia- the right person will come along, unfortunately in their own sweet time! And you can still talk to us.

thank u both emma and 1exy for the advice too means a1ot to me your support i11 be a1right re1ationship wise ive come to a decision about that too which when dads sett1ed wi11 te11 a11 :)safe to say things sha11 be smooth from now on xxxxkia

[kia]

Blimey! I go away for a few days and when I come back, this place has become all sensible and clean and smut-free:eek:

 

 

kisskiss, really sorry to hear about your dad. I count myself fortunate that I never had to watch my own dad slowly deteriorate like that so I can only say chin up and keep smiling........but it can't be easy. And as for your fella cheating on you........how many times have I told you, all men are cheating barstewards and not to be trusted....except maybe some of us:p

 

 

Anyway.............today is a red letter day in the CF household...........I was able to tell the people at the Jobcentre to stuff their JSA after almost six months and nearly 60 job applications. As of Monday next, I am no longer one of Gordon's 2 million, and have become a useful member of society once more. Probably won't be any better off financially, but at least I'll feel better. I'll be self-employed for the first time in my life, which'll be a challenge, but at least I'll stand and fall by my own efforts rather than relying on other people's decisions.

 

 

So it's back to normal time again..........and let the smut flow freely once more:p:p:D

we1come back cf nice to see u back on here good news about starting on your own think tis a good decision and thanks for the kind words and your right most men are just a few that arent shame i dont a1ways see it straight away isnt it i11 update if and when xxxxkia

[**Tilly**]

Kia, it is not uncommon for peeps to try to escape, your dad is scared confused and disorientated,his medication will work they have to get the right dosage for the right sympton, eg depression, agrresive, anxiety etc,when you say he seeing things like the bricks try to go with him, believe me i lost count of the amount of buses i used to wait for it is hard and sorry to say it will get harder, and in a way easier you will learn to cope and understand more, i know its hard on you and your most likely feel guilty but try to imagine if you are feeling like that how your dad is feeling,don't mean to sound harsh soz.In a few months he will have settled down im not saying everything is going to be normal or perfect, just easier for all.

[**Tilly**]

Sorry Charlie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

gets coat and legs it, gawn

[kia]

Kia, it is not uncommon for peeps to try to escape, your dad is scared confused and disorientated,his medication will work they have to get the right dosage for the right sympton, eg depression, agrresive, anxiety etc,when you say he seeing things like the bricks try to go with him, believe me i lost count of the amount of buses i used to wait for it is hard and sorry to say it will get harder, and in a way easier you will learn to cope and understand more, i know its hard on you and your most likely feel guilty but try to imagine if you are feeling like that how your dad is feeling,don't mean to sound harsh soz.In a few months he will have settled down im not saying everything is going to be normal or perfect, just easier for all.

god tis scarey isnt it cos it never struck me that this wou1d happen to my dad i kinda think your right about the visions cos the more we try to go against them the more he agrees then two secs 1ater goes on same track again:eek:but if we agree with him then he wants to know why he cant come cos he dont understand hes i11 so u cant win rea11y we tried both tracks the other day neither worked and yes both me and brother fee1 very gui1ty cos we do fee1 we shou1d 1et him come home to try it but we are gonna be guided by the socia1 services see what they think is best cos this home has said they cant keep him prisoner if he wants out its not fair on the other residents i do wonder if its out rea1ity thats wrong and my dads must be right can i move to his rea1ity p1ease :confused:cos then i wou1dnt have to make these horrib1e decisions but i do know its the right thing to do and that its un1ike1y he wi11 ever come out again thanks for he1ping ti11y much appreciated going to see him tomorrow with harry who wi11 see him for first time tomorrow in ages so he wi11 see how bad he is now cos my unc1es were shocked today how bad he has become in a short time :eek:any other advice wi11 be appreciated too ti11s xxxxxkia

[kia]

not sure how many peop1e know about this but we11 me and my ex hubby have decieded to give it another go and have got back together and were going through the honey moon period again which is good :Don the downside my dad was worse yesterday when went to see him wanting out again so the ta1k we had other day didnt do any good rea11y going to see him tomorrow see hows hes getting on in a way u dread going in cos u dont know what frame of mind he might be in this time xxxxxxkia

[**Tilly**]

on the downside my dad was worse yesterday when went to see him wanting out again so the ta1k we had other day didnt do any good rea11y going to see him tomorrow see hows hes getting on in a way u dread going in cos u dont know what frame of mind he might be in this time xxxxxxkia

 

Kia

Most people with dementia remember the distant past more clearly than recent events. Your dad will often have difficulty remembering what happened a few moments ago, but he can recall minute details of his life when he was younger. But with time even these long term memories will eventually decline.

Peeps with dementia are often understandably anxious about forgetting their past particularly in the early stages of the condition. Yourself and family should try to provide opportunities to share memories by looking at photographs etc together. This can help jog your dad's memory, and may help him feel more calm and in control. Talking about the past can be enjoyable for your dad you and those around him may help your dad retain the sense of who he is.

Sometimes your dad may seem to be living in the past and insist for example that he has to wait for you to come home from school. If this happens you and those around him should try to relate to what your dad is remembering or feeling, rather than contradicting what he is saying

Not all memories are happy ones but if your dad seems very upset by certain memories from the past he will need the chance to express his feelings and to feel that they are understood. If they seem sad it can help to encourage him talk him about it and comfort him rather than changing the subject.What im saying is everyday will be different conversations you have had your dad will not remember,just trying to make it easier for you to cope and understand:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tilly

 

 

 

Phew need a lay down now:p

[kia]

Kia

Most people with dementia remember the distant past more clearly than recent events. Your dad will often have difficulty remembering what happened a few moments ago, but he can recall minute details of his life when he was younger. But with time even these long term memories will eventually decline.

Peeps with dementia are often understandably anxious about forgetting their past particularly in the early stages of the condition. Yourself and family should try to provide opportunities to share memories by looking at photographs etc together. This can help jog your dad's memory, and may help him feel more calm and in control. Talking about the past can be enjoyable for your dad you and those around him may help your dad retain the sense of who he is.

Sometimes your dad may seem to be living in the past and insist for example that he has to wait for you to come home from school. If this happens you and those around him should try to relate to what your dad is remembering or feeling, rather than contradicting what he is saying

Not all memories are happy ones but if your dad seems very upset by certain memories from the past he will need the chance to express his feelings and to feel that they are understood. If they seem sad it can help to encourage him talk him about it and comfort him rather than changing the subject.What im saying is everyday will be different conversations you have had your dad will not remember,just trying to make it easier for you to cope and understand:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tilly

 

 

 

Phew need a lay down now:p

hi ti11s was in today and my aunt and unc1e were there they visit quite a bit now they been stars he seemed ok today a1though the nurse did say his sp1eeping is no better than it was at home u see this is more that anything whats worrying my brother and me the night time wanderings cos it did before he wou1d be up at 1east three times a night and most of them he wou1d get up get dressed and try and 1eave the house to get the papers :eek:or worse get my brother up to ask him why hes not got up for work its 3 in the morning :confused:and as far as i can see this hasnt changed they apparent1y had the doc to him on monday to prescribe new tabs that wi11 ca1m him down so he wi11 s1eep but the nurse reckons they might not have kicked in yet so maybe wi11 take time is this norma1 1ike cos i just dont know what is and what isnt as for the visions doesnt seem to be any atm were gonna have a meeting with the socia1 services next week and wi11 be a chance to voice a11 these worries if he comes home which im not sure is gonna happen yet but i know its a11 he ta1ks about to everyone so im gonna hate bursting his bubb1e but i wi11 do if its gonna be safer for him to not come home i think hes kinda getting his hopes up they wi11 1et him out straight away hmmm and hes to1d the doc hes not seeing the cats anymore but i know he is the docs asked the wrong question so that point wi11 need to be put across as we11 cos this is gona be point1ess if hes not better cos were gonna be going round in circ1es if he isnt right i need to get my breath back too thanks for a11 your he1p ti11s xxxxxxkia

[patrickq1]

we are going through this dementurte problem with wifes father and i have the simmallar problem but am having tests mine is mostly to do with bloodflow and not enough oxegen getting to the parts of the brain due to cardio problems...my sympathies are with all who have to suffer this or go through the pain as a relative,it can be so frustrating and can leave you at your wits end..

patrickq1

[kia]

yep your so right there patrick cos i know he doesnt know hes i11 were having a big pow wow with socia1 services and the cpn nurses i think there ca11ed who wi11 he1p when and if he comes home on mon evening so wi11 update when i know but apparent1y its important we get this assessmant done cos right now there dragging hea1s on it cos think i11 have to push this forward cos we need a diagnosis so then we know what we are dea1ing with cos today he seemed a1ot better seeming1y no visions but i think hes getting crafty and knows that this is connected with him getting out of the home so maybe saying what we wanna hear i dunno my youngest reckons hes not capab1e of this but who knows eh xxxxxkia

[patrickq1]

yes he probably knows one or two things that is happening around him,best thing is keep him comfortable even get him into the garden just to prune hedging etc,but also he will be angry and frustrated with himself,our concil in conwy n wales are superb with help for this your local council should have a department who can assess but also they will have somesort of community hall where a lot of the old folk get together it is here they do the assesments without them realising it ,they are doing it with father in law now and he thinks he is going to an old codgers club he loves it it gets him out...you will be amazed at the difference in them but it also tires them out gives you a good nights rest when they get back lol anyway you need social services on your side and their assesment dept..good luck

patrickq1

[kia]

yep think we need it i think as far as c1ubs go im hoping the socia1 services wi11 he1p there but first steps i think get the assessment first and try get a diagnosis so we know what were dea1ing with thanks patrick xxxkia

[determindator]

Hi Kia,

 

It's still early days whilst your Dad is adjusting to medication and the environment he needs at the moment. He will be lucid one moment and having an episode next. I believe you are adjusting to your Dad's condition and coming to terms with this change and pride yourself with moving quickly when you first noticed something was wrong. Good to hear your personal news is working out.

[charleyfarley]

I know I shouldn't post this, but it was just too tempting;)

 

 

 

 

Hi Kia,

 

He will be lucid one moment and having an episode next.

 

 

Sounds a lot like his daughter:D:D:D