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Hi all just thought I would start a thread of jokes for some fun and to provide some light entertainment for everyone being harassed by dca's

 

Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a dca threat monkey ?

 

A: a doberman:lol:

 

Q: What do you do if you see a dca threat monkey drowning ?

 

A: throw them an anchor :lol:

 

Q: What is the difference between a dca threat monkey and a prostitute ?

 

A: A prostitute stops trying to scr*w you when you are dead :lol:

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LMFAO. They were great LOL. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that!


:cool::cool: Blondmusic :cool::cool:

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: What do you do if you see a dca threat monkey drowning ?

 

Take your foot of it's head.....or not?

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Hilarious!!

 

MORE MORE!!!

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A DCA gets made redundant, and cries all the way home, when her husband gets home she screams,

"I have been made redundant, and how are we going to pay our bills," she cries.

The husband looks at her and says,

"sorry darling you will have to go on the game",

WHAT" she yells,

"We have no other choice "the husband says,

" ok I agree "she says.

The following morning the redundant DCA comes home to her husband, and the husband looks at her and says "how much you make last night then"

The redundant DCA says "£275.10"

The husband looks at her and says "who the hell gave you 10 pence"

The redundant DCA replies "All of them"


"Always ask for a CCA, Simples".

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What do you do if you run over a DCA?

 

 

 

 

Reverse and make sure:p

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I wouldn't run over one just in case he has collected a load of doorsteps and put them in his pockets! I could damage the Rolls you know....:D


Welshwizard QC (Quite Content):rolleyes:

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Did you hear about the two dca theat monkeys who were found frozen to death out side a cimema ?

 

they where wating to see closed for winter

 

 

Q: why do sharks not attack dca's

 

A: Professional courtesy

 

Did you hear about the madman who has taken an dca office hostage ?

he treatened to release one an hour untill his demands were meet

 

Q: what is the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead dca theat monkey ?

 

A: There are skid marks before the skunk

 

Q: If you see a theat monkey on a bike why should you not swerve to hit them ?

 

A: It might be your bike

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Whats the difference between a DCA threat monkey and a bucket of excrement

 

The bucket

 

 

 

What do you call four DCA Threat monkeys drowning

 

A start


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A lawyer, a banker and a debt collector were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The lawyer says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought £300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in!"

The banker agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent 17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

The debt collector nods wisely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife recently left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!":D

Edited by kurvaface
spelling

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Q. How do you stop a DCA from drowning?

 

 

A. You don't.


Carpe Jugulum

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a dca seized my wife's credit card on a doorstep visit

 

i didn't complain - he's spending less on it than she did!!

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Why do DCAs walk round with dogsh*t in their pockets?

 

For identification purposes.


Nationwide - Prelim sent 02/07 - MCOL filed 04/07 CHARGES SETTLED IN FULL!!

Woolwich- Prelim sent 04/07 - Offered 90% - 06/07 accepted

MBNA - Prelim sent 02/07 - CCA request sent 03/07 - CCA reply (illegible + no T&Cs) - DCA sent packing - Restons now trying - gone quiet

Citicard - Prelim sent 02/07 - CCA request sent 04/07 - replied 04/07 No contract & not enforcing!- passed to 1st Credit- gone quiet

Egg - Prelim sent 02/08 - 3 letters - full offer 03/08 SETTLED IN FULL!!

(All starry, rep, clicky thingies gratefully received!)

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Phonesurgeon that is the best laugh i have had all day. Brilliant :D


:cool::cool: Blondmusic :cool::cool:

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Glad to be at service

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A lawyer, a banker and a debt colector all went to Hell.

The lawyer wound up in a blazing furnace and the banker was put in beside him burning away. The debt collector wound up in a big bedroom with a beautiful blonde film star in his arms. "That's not fair," said the lawyer and the banker, "rewarding him like that."

 

"That's not the debt collectors reward," said The Devil, "that's her punishment."

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What do you call four DCA Threat monkeys drowning

 

A start

 

What do you call fifty DCA Threat monkeys chained together at the bottom of the sea ??

 

A very good start indeed !!!


Please help us to help you. Download the CAG tool bar for free

HERE and use the search option for all your searches. CAG earns a few pennies every time !!!

 

Please don't rush, take time to read these:-

 

 

&

 

 

This is always worth referring to

 

 

 

 

 

Advice & opinions given by me are personal, are not endorsed by the Consumer Action Group or the Bank Action Group. Should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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Q. How can you tell when a debt collector is lying?

 

A. His lips are moving

 

:p

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Q. What do you have when a DCA is buried up to his neck in sand?

 

A. Not enough sand!

 

:eek:

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The trouble with the debt collection industry is 99% of its members give the rest a bad name!

 

:D

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Q. What do DCAs use as contraceptives?

 

A. Their Personalities

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how can you tell when a debt collector is not lying?

 

there's no pulse

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here about the debt collector who though an itchyfanny was a japanese motor bike!

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