Cheekiness towards a DCA

[Werner M]

...a long time ago I had a guy phoned me from Cabot about an outstanding debt. After several days of receiving several phone calls a day, always from the same person and giving the usual spiel, I got fed up and decided to turn the conversation around. He was doing the usual trick of not allowing me to speak, but when I managed to get a word in I asked him why he sounded so stressed out, irate, het up etc. He didn't answer so then I said 'you don't sound well, have you seen a doctor lately?, are you suffering from PEP by any chance?' he stopped and asked me what I meant and what was PEP. I said 'well you sound really stressed out, so I thought perhaps you were having problems with Premature ejaculation and can't satisfy your partner'. He then put the phone down and I didn't here from them again. A few weeks later a further phone call came from Cabot, this time from a woman. Again I turned the conversation around, being very sympathetic and showing concern for her state of mind. I asked her if she was having hormonal problems and asked if PMT was the reason for her attitude and had she considered seeing a doctor. I then bid her farewell and she retorted - 'You'll be hearing from us'. Lo and behold, to date I have never had another phone call from Cabot.........W.M.

[mr.ton]

It would appear that the moment you dont conform to a script that the DCA's want you to conform to...is the moment you dont hear from them again - strange that is

[babybear39]

I have a script for them

[ODC]

I have a script for them

Bet it only contains two words the second of which is OFF:D

[The GodMother]

WM.

 

that is a good one.

 

i will try that one.

[SWIS]

 

 

You'll lose 14 stone in a day. As recommended by commedien, Jo Brand.

The only side effects known are from someone called Joan from Bolton, who said on a recent Chorley FM (where the listener comes first) radio show, "I can't poo." But that's too much information Joan.

 

So leave a message below if you want to order a weight loss gingerbread man. At the bargain price of only £35 each + £7 post and packing.

Yes, only £35 each, or £100 for two.

 

 

If you are going to resort to plagiarism for your gags at least get the source correct...

 

[fuzzybobble]

Erm, I know what you mean. But I quoted Peter Kay's "Lose 14 stone in a day." and then referred to Jo Brand as she's always on weight and cakes, in her stand up comedy show.

Hope that clears things up a bit?

 

Now you know why my friends call me Fuzzy.It's not all

because of my fuzzy hair.

 

Normal service will be resumed shortly. ;-)

[Brassed off]

If you are going to resort to plagiarism for your gags at least get the source correct...

 

 

Erm hate to tell you this SWIS, but that's a sarcastic smilie and not a winky -

 

Who cares about plagiarisms anyway Fuzzy, it deffo made me laugh but I am a Lancashire Lass

[The GodMother]

I think i have a good windup for them

 

asking them if my butt looks good in this?

 

discussing my needing to pee every 2 minutes and flushing the chain while they are on the phone.

 

then discussing my stretch marks some of them are horrid.

 

then discussing what having a baby is actually like this will be a ewwy one for them.

[fuzzybobble]

All my DCA's have gone a bit quiet recently.

Not heard from any of them for over a week now.

I have a feeling they're behaving, after the OFT slapping

13 of them received recently.

Now it's quiet it gives me the time to concentrate on the

formal complaints letters and my turn to give them some

threat-o-grams.

 

My next round of calls, when they do start up again, will

be to "chat up" the DCA employee. Or just have the

memory span of a goldfish.

 

One thing I have discovered, is give them the wrong address

and date of birth. Then insist that the details you gave them

are correct. Just see how many of them will continue

without the correct security info.

Don't forget to complain to the OFT & FOS if they do.

[The GodMother]

very nice peom FB.

 

glad u are using this quiet time effectivly

[tiglet]

Crapquest ahve left me well alone since my tea-towel conversation.

[The GodMother]

Tiglet you had a conversation about tea towels.

 

I am going to discuss maternity knickers.

[tiglet]

Make sure you tell them all about the lovely disposable ones and the brick-thick pads the hospital provide you with ... they'll like that.

[The GodMother]

I will try but i am thinking about starting with the uncomfortable one i have and advising them not to buy them as they are not very good and they make u pee more.

 

Then going on to the other sort.

[tiglet]

Ripper-knickers are just great - i might just buy some for everyday fashion wear.

[The GodMother]

lol tiglet i might start talking to dcas about those next

[cashins]

I was sitting here thinking, (yeah, yeah, before you start), that it was a pity I binned a phone we had a couple of years back. Got shot of it because although you could hear the caller ok, unless you shouted, they couldn't here you clearly.

 

However, as my OH has a habit of rescuing items heading for the bin, on the off chance I had a rummage in the attic.

 

Excellent!!!

 

There, among all of the other things-that-should-have been-chucked-years-ago-cos-they-dont-f***ing-work-and-are-a-total-waste-of-space, it was. After testing it by phoning from the mobile, I can report that it still works perfectly.

 

This should be fun.

 

David

[babybear39]

Hellooooooo...

[fuzzybobble]

Think they scared everyone off with the "female bodily fluids and pregnancy thing." I can hear grown men screaming in terror as they run from the room.

 

Time I was off too.

 

 

:eek: :eek:

[babybear39]

Ooh...I could waffle for days on any of the above (anything to get out of writing a comparitive media histories essay )

[fuzzybobble]

Ooh...I could waffle for days on any of the above (anything to get out of writing a comparitive media histories essay )

 

I'd like to see a copy of your comparitive media histories essay, and in return I'll send you details on how to build a laser than can pop balloons from 20 feet way. (5 hours work and £45 worth of components)

Anything apart from female bodily functions.

 

 

"In the land of the blind, there's a person with one eye who owns a homemade laser that works."

[babybear39]

FB when I've written it I shall send you a copy to read to the DCAs

[fuzzybobble]

FB when I've written it I shall send you a copy to read to the DCAs

 

You'd better throw in a couple of bumble bees for good measure then.

[babybear39]

I shall send you the bumble bee inclusive exclusive