What's available my daughter doesnt want to attend college

[THNX4THT]

This may appear to be a medical post, but it's what will happen next money or benefits wise.

 

My daughter has Anorexia nervosa and traits of Autism, although autism not formally diagnosed. She has Social Anxiety and having been offered a place at College in September, she has announced that she doesn't want to attend, due to the social complications of attending. I'm not sure if she would get DLA for Anorexia Nervosa but she doesn't want to claim it anyway.

 

She has stated that she doesn't want to do anything. This is probably part of her A.N. diagnosis as fatigue is one of the symptoms. I realise that if she doesn't attend college, although she has to attend something, either that or 6th form or college, or I could continue home educating her, which is not an option.

 

I will lose Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit for her and she wont want to sign on, will she have to sign on even if she doesn't want to?( Not taking into acccount the huge financial strain it will have on me, sharing my ESA and DLA with her as she doesnt want to claim anything).

 

Sorry there is a question in there....Does she have to sign on? As far as Im aware she has to complete her 6th form education somewhere, what if she refuses to go? What are my options?

[citizenB]

Most of the caggers who would be able to answer your questions have day jobs.. so will likely respond later this evening.

 

Have you explained to your daughter the financial implications that will be imposed on you.

 

Would it be possible for you to speak to the college and advise of the problems your daughter has, they might be able to confirm that she will have tutor support ?

[THNX4THT]

Most of the caggers who would be able to answer your questions have day jobs.. so will likely respond later this evening.

 

Have you explained to your daughter the financial implications that will be imposed on you.

 

Would it be possible for you to speak to the college and advise of the problems your daughter has, they might be able to confirm that she will have tutor support ?

 

College contact is a good idea. Talking to my daughter about imposed financial difficulty is something I get the feeling she has no care for. I don't think she understands that although she may chose not to eat, we still need to pay for her beloved internet, gas, electric etc, I'll give it a go. Thanks

[blondebubbles]

Would she be able to register with careers service? If so you can still get tax credits for further 20 weeks?

 

https://www.gov.uk/child-tax-credit-when-child-reaches-16

 

Does she have no interest in working either? I was told at 15/16 I had anorexia (partial syndrome they said). I dropped out if school and went to college instead hoping the change of scenery, getting away for the school environment etc would help. Sadly it didn't help, I found concentrating and studying very difficult due to the tiredness but instead I started working full time at 17 and am still with the same employer. I feel it's the best decision I could have made and have since been able to get qualifications through my employment.

 

I know your daughters circumstances will be different, I just wanted to share my experience.

[THNX4THT]

Would she be able to register with careers service? If so you can still get tax credits for further 20 weeks?

 

https://www.gov.uk/child-tax-credit-when-child-reaches-16

 

Does she have no interest in working either? I was told at 15/16 I had anorexia (partial syndrome they said). I dropped out if school and went to college instead hoping the change of scenery, getting away for the school environment etc would help. Sadly it didn't help, I found concentrating and studying very difficult due to the tiredness but instead I started working full time at 17 and am still with the same employer. I feel it's the best decision I could have made and have since been able to get qualifications through my employment.

 

I know your daughters circumstances will be different, I just wanted to share my experience.

 

The problem with her starting work, is that relatively new law, where school students have to complete 6th form or attend 6th form college if they were born after a particular year. I'll have to speak to the college anyway, because when we made college support aware of her difficulties, A.N. wasn't a problem then, as it is now. She's already registered with Connextions, not that they've been much help. I'm hoping college may work better than school, only because the environment is nothing like school and her b/f and friends will be attending there. Fingers Crossed!!

[blondebubbles]

The problem with her starting work, is that relatively new law, where school students have to complete 6th form or attend 6th form college if they were born after a particular year. I'll have to speak to the college anyway, because when we made college support aware of her difficulties, A.N. wasn't a problem then, as it is now. She's already registered with Connextions, not that they've been much help. I'm hoping college may work better than school, only because the environment is nothing like school and her b/f and friends will be attending there. Fingers Crossed!!

 

Hopefully her college will be better than mine then. Mines was exactly like school and that's partly why it didn't work for me.

 

Know nothing about connexions - my point with that was that you can continue to get the child tax credits for 20 weeks if she does leave education. So could be helpful even if they are useless!

[thorntondog]

Hello

 

My son is currently 17 and left school this time last year, he hated school and also didnt want to go to college.

 

my advice would be to register with the college as if your daughter is going to start because then she will be registered as a student at an institution. my son did this but never attended. I know I sound like a bad mother and many parents would disagree but after watching my son vomit each morning before school for years because he hated it -I just wanted to take the pressure off him.

 

The government wants kids to stay on in education until the June after ther 17th birthday so she will not be able to claim any benefits.

 

My son also suffers from anxiety and could not be in a class room. he has basically been at home for a year- the college contacted us for a couple of months regarding attendance then it all wore off and no one hassled us (which just increases the anxiety)

 

He has matured over this year and gained confidence without peer pressure-he has just got a full time job -which I could never have imagined ( although low paid) but the main thing is he is happy.

 

Good luck - dont be pressured by the officials -education is not for everyone nd you know your daughter best

[THNX4THT]

Hello

 

My son is currently 17 and left school this time last year, he hated school and also didnt want to go to college.

 

my advice would be to register with the college as if your daughter is going to start because then she will be registered as a student at an institution. my son did this but never attended. I know I sound like a bad mother and many parents would disagree but after watching my son vomit each morning before school for years because he hated it -I just wanted to take the pressure off him.

 

The government wants kids to stay on in education until the June after ther 17th birthday so she will not be able to claim any benefits.

 

My son also suffers from anxiety and could not be in a class room. he has basically been at home for a year- the college contacted us for a couple of months regarding attendance then it all wore off and no one hassled us (which just increases the anxiety)

 

He has matured over this year and gained confidence without peer pressure-he has just got a full time job -which I could never have imagined ( although low paid) but the main thing is he is happy.

 

Good luck - dont be pressured by the officials -education is not for everyone nd you know your daughter best

 

Thank you for your post. I took my daughter out of school, because it wasn't right for her and have home educated since Feb 2013. I guess my daughters needs are complicated by my Autism. That might sound like a strange statement, but for anyone that understands autism, its hard enough to bring yourself up let alone bring up children. Officials do terrify me and the thought of not getting it right for my daughter is just as terrifying. My life is a complete mess and this is not what I want for my daughter. She had an appointment tomorrow for Eating Disorder Clinic, but I couldn't admit to not having the cab fare to get her to and from the appointment, its about £20 round trip. Im also Agoraphobic and going out is really hard, with all the help that I do get, why can't anyone extend that help to my daughter, I can't put my Autism and Agoraphobia on hold, because she has an appointment. I just dont want to fail her, because of my problems

[oleg]

You may find it useful to phone or email A B C

03000 11 12 13

[email protected]

Amongst other services, they offer peer support. You may find networking with people undergoing situations similar to your own therapeutic.

You certainly need help from some quarter to ensure that you do not become financially disadvantaged even more than you already are due to your daughter's condition. The problem is she appears incapable of appreciating your dilemma.

Is there an advocacy service in your area? They can help you and/or your daughter to identify and address your concerns to relevant service providers.

[abc123def]

I really do hope that you manage to get her to the ED service appointment tomorrow, that is far more important than anything else. If her BMI is less than 17.5 which it must be for an anorexia diagnosis, she really needs help sooner rather than later. If you are on an income related benefit such as ESA or JSA then you can claim the fare back. There are more fatalities with anorexia nervosa than any other mental illness.

[THNX4THT]

I really do hope that you manage to get her to the ED service appointment tomorrow, that is far more important than anything else. If her BMI is less than 17.5 which it must be for an anorexia diagnosis, she really needs help sooner rather than later. If you are on an income related benefit such as ESA or JSA then you can claim the fare back. There are more fatalities with anorexia nervosa than any other mental illness.

 

That's very true, I can claim the fares back, but you have to have the money up front to be able to claim them and in my experience of claiming fares, they'll give you the cheapest route as payment, not what it actually cost you. I tried to reinstate the appointment, but alas its been given to someone else. I guess yesterday was not a day for decisions having just broken up with my partner of 6 years yesterday morning. All over the place, just isnt quite it! lol