Cheekiness towards a DCA

[clemma]

Hi

 

I am training to teach and whilst doing a bit of reserarch for an essay, came across this:

 

 

Written work.

 

 

• Has a poor standard of written work compared with oral ability (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Has poor handwriting with badly formed letters (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Produces badly set out or messily written work, with spellings crossed out several times (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Spells the same word differently in one piece of work (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Has difficulty with punctuation and/or grammar (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Writes a great deal but 'loses the thread' (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Finds tasks difficult to complete on time (Threat Monkeys, CCA's and SAR's etc)
  
• Appears to know more than can be committed to paper (Phone Monkeys)
  

 

Reading.

 

 

 

• Omits, repeats or adds extra words (Threat Monkeys and Phone Monkeys e.g. er um er um er))
  
• Reads at ... a low level of comprehension (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Fails to recognise familiar words e.g. Consumer Credit Act (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Loses his place - or uses a finger or marker to keep the place (Threat Monkeys)
  
• Has difficulty in pin-pointing the main idea in a passage (Threat Monkeys)
  

 

Numeracy.

 

 

 

• Finds difficulty remembering tables and/or basic number sets (Dates, times and Interest Rates)
  
• Finds sequencing problematic (what happened when)
  
• Confuses signs such as x for + (figures don;t add up right)
  
• Misreads questions that include words (Ususally CCA & SAR requests)
  
• Finds mental arithmetic at speed very difficult (Say no more)
  
• Finds memorising formulae difficult (what do you think?
  

Other areas.

 

 

• Has indeterminate hand preference (we all know they are w*****ers)
  
• Has difficulty in finding the name for an object (an apology usualy)
  
• Has clear processing problems at speed (during phone calls)
  
• Misunderstands complicated questions (Can you prove it? Do I really owe this amount?)
  
• Finds holding a list of instructions in memory difficult, although can perform all tasks when told individually (CCA, SAR, Get Lost.......)
  

Behaviour.

 

 

 

• Is disorganised or forgetful e.g. over sports equipment, lessons, homework, appointments, agreements and other important documents
  
• Is immature and/or clumsy (no really?)
  
• Has difficulty relating to others: is unable to 'read' body language
  
• Is often in the wrong place at the wrong time (usually on teh other end of my phone!)
  

My conclusions

 

All DCA's are Dyslexic.......

 

PMSL :lol:

[spiritgirl59]

If they ever call me, I will instruct them to sexually depart.

 

Fred

 

omg fred roflmao:lol::lol:...that's better than my foxtrot oscar by far!! can't wait for the next DCA phone call ;-):grin:

 

and welshwizard that's brilliant!!

 

Love SG x

[locutus]

omg fred roflmao:lol::lol:...that's better than my foxtrot oscar by far!! can't wait for the next DCA phone call ;-):grin:

 

and welshwizard that's brilliant!!

 

Love SG x

I prefer "You may go forth and urinate"

and if the ask for an explenation tell them to Papa Oscar

[babybear39]

I prefer "You may go forth and urinate"

and if the ask for an explenation tell them to Papa Oscar

 

Ask them if they're potty trained

[Spamalot]

Go forth and Multiply used to be my favourite but the thought of DCA's multiplying reminds me of the gremlins ... hundreds of the beggers!!!!

[babybear39]

Go forth and Multiply used to be my favourite but the thought of DCA's multiplying reminds me of the gremlins ... hundreds of the beggers!!!!

 

Go forth and DO NOT multiply is better

[mr.ton]

God help the thought of DCA staff multiplying

[sillygirl1]

It seems they may now be feeling the pressure of CAG....

 

Front page news on 1st Crudit and Mackenzie Hall

 

Credit Today online

[babybear39]

Wonder when the OFT are going to impose sanctions on the remainder of the 'dirty 13'.

[GamekeeperToPoacher]

Hi,

 

Just had fun with DCA - the call went something like this

 

ring ring ...

 

GK Hello?

DCA - Hello this is %%& may I speak to MR GK please

GK - Whose calling?

DCA - It is XXXX from Lender

GK - How do you spell that please?

DCA - Gives phoenetic spelling.

GK - Excellent - What is the password please?

DCA - I'm sorry I can't tell you I need to do checks under Data Protection Act.

GK - Sorry the that is the wrong answer I have agreed with Lender that you will give me a password to verify that it is lender calling. Please what is the password?

DCA - Oh is it my employee number?

GK - No it is a password that I provided.

DCA - Is it Sharon (or something like but mumbled)?

GK - No I am sorry you have failed the verification test I am terminating this call - thank you - have a great day.

 

Don't you just love it ......

 

Next!

 

GK

[Nottsdave]

brilliant, Gamekeeper

 

Notts

[GamekeeperToPoacher]

Dave,

 

Where abouts are you in Notts as I am there too?

 

PM if you like

 

GK

[ODC]

Wonder when the OFT are going to impose sanctions on the remainder of the 'dirty 13'.

 

Wonder when the CSA are going to get rid of their President who after all is a Director of Worst Credit who have been put under the OFT Microscope because of alleged breaches by their threat monkeys

[rev.ian]

I just did a fuzzybobble on Robinson Way. But first you need to understand they sent me a fake yes FAKECredit Agreement they told me was from Sainsbury’s Bank.

RW Monkey How much would you like to pay Sir.

R.I The whole £8,019.90 please

RW Monkey Excellent What type of card Sir.

R.I I have an Easter Card.

RW Monkey Pardon Sir, is that a type of visa card.

R.I No it’s an Easter Card

RW Monkey What is the long card number Sir.

R.I It doesn’t have one it just says happy Easter.

RW Monkey Are you playing games or something Sir ( I still got a Sir).

R.I No

RW Monkey What is the reason for your call today Sir ?.

R.I To show you my method of payment is as useless as the fake Credit Agreement you sent me.

RW Monkey So you didn’t have a reason to call us today Sir.

R.I Well while you are talking to me you are leaving someone ells alone.

RW Monkey Goodbye Sir. Click

[GamekeeperToPoacher]

Nice One - Another bad day for DCAs

 

GK

[babybear39]

Yup Well done

[vengeancedemon]

Found out a bit more on Vilcol or Vilcollections of Surbiton Town. Perhaps a more appropriate name might be VileCollections?

 

However, I have not been at home for a couple of days ( deliveries t' Yorkshire) when my mobile rang with a private number, answered it and it was some crow from this outfit, said I only communicate in writing and wouldnt answer security and she got huffy and hung up,

When I got home letter from them, they are the latest in a long line of chasing an Amex defaulted CCA.

But what struck me as odd was the final paragraph in this here letter

 

"If you are unable to pay in full but own your own home please mention this when calling 0870 770 6642- we may be able to put you in touch with one of a panel of debt counsellors to assist in arranging your finances"

 

Isnt this a no no under OFT Guidelines?

[babybear39]

Yes!!! Report them to TS and the OFT ASAP.

[reorete]

lmao fantastic job rev.ian

[GamekeeperToPoacher]

Well they don't give up!

 

Answer phone, as it is mobile I know who is calling:

 

Threatmonkey - Can I Speak to Game Keeper?

GK - No!

 

Threatmonkyey - Oh, silence, phone put down quietly!

 

GK - 2 / Threatmonkeys 0

 

Bring it on!!

 

GK

[babybear39]

They will, on and on and on and ..........

[rev.ian]

I thought you may like to see the letter sent to RW about the fake agreement.

Dear Ms. Cooper

 

Firstly thank you for a reply regarding the fake agreement.

Following communication with Sainsbury’s Bank, I now know the agreement sent to me from your office was not produced by Sainsbury’s. Therefore the only other explanation possible is that Robinson, Way manufactured the fake document in order to obtain money by deception.

 

I am pleased once again to see that you believe what you have sent me is a true copy of a fully executed Credit Agreement. Unfortunately the piece of fake trash you keep referring to as an agreement certainly does not conform with what is required under the CCA ACT 1974.

 

I am now tired of wasting my time and intellect on a completely unprofessional company who can only manage to keep sending template letters out in the hope of wearing the recipient down.

 

Your continual waffle revolves around the said agreement, without it your attempts to collect on this alleged debt are unlawful. You are now boring me! And I think it is time for a judge to make a decision about the legal soundness of the fake agreement as you are not within your rights to do so (or possibly mentally capable of doing so).

I am aware of the seriousness of my allegation, however I am able to prove it without reasonable doubt. Should you pursue me again while relying on this fake document I will hand my evidence over and make a formal complaint at my local police station and ask them to investigate the matter with a view to criminal prosecution.

Furthermore should you pursue me further, I will make a complaint of criminal harassment.

Should you sell this alleged debt on or assign it to another DCA I will make a complaint of criminal harassment.

As I never signed a credit agreement with Sainsbury’s it is clear that I never gave Sainsbury’s and more importantly yourselves my permission to pass on my information and data, therefore you must remove any adverse comments you may of made from any outside agencies.

I will not enter into any further correspondence with you in this matter.

Should I not receive confirmation from you that this matter is now closed within 14 days I will hand this matter to the police in order to bring it to closure.

 

I Trust I have set out my position clearly.

Yours sincerely

[vengeancedemon]

Should that be Surbiton TS or my local?, I dont want to overdue my local as they have and are pulling wings of EverShytes

[cashins]

Oh come on Rev, don't mince your words:grin::grin::grin:

 

David

[fedup21]

Sometimes, cag is the only thing that actually keeps me going! This thread in particular has given me hours of laughter as well as some great tips! Felt great other day, phone call from dca, I decided to have fun, can you believe they waited over 5 mins, just for me to find a pen, then another 5 to find bank details, which of course, after giving them the number, I suddenly reaslised were the wrong ones, another few mins of searching, can't find, followed by, I'm sorry can you repeat that? Used every single time the cretin spoke, managed nearly 35 mins of this before I finally asked them to put it all in writing.