A go between but never knew about it

[stuggling]

Complicated

I was named on court documents as a go between for 2 families

I never wanted this, I'm to busy work all of overtime

have 4 children 2 of whom have disabilities

and partner who has disabilities as well,

we all work 6 days a week, have limited spare time. 

I was named as the go between last year but had no idea I was and my name has been spelt wrong,

I'm fed up of getting messages etc over it all!

How do I sort this

I no longer want to be the go between,

it will cause massive arguments but my immediate family come first. 

[Ethel Street]

I really haven't the first idea what this is about so some more explanation would be useful, but as a general comment I'm surprised you can be named in that role in any court document without your consent. The obvious solution would seem to be to go back to the court or whichever agency is involved (Social Services? CAFCASS?) and ask to have your name removed.

[honeybee13]

I'm in the same position as  Ethel, it isn't a situation I've come across.

You talk about being a go-between, could you tell us what name the court have given your role please?

HB

[BankFodder]

Also if you have some court document in which you are officially named then it will be helpful if you could post it up here in PDF format

[unclebulgaria67]

Just write to Court advising that you have not consented to acting as a go between for this case and do not wish to be involved. And request that your name and contact details be removed.

[stuggling]

It's a grandparent (re: my sibling) and them seeing their grandchild, 

 I have no documents only screen shots of the court papers.

I'm surprised i was named and I didn't see the documents,

It just states that I am to allow posts and parcels to mine for the grandchild and send pics,

the grandparent dont have my address and I do not want them too

I'm fed up of having the minder over it

again late last night they contacted me with a pics of court papers

I was in bed as up at 3am for work

 

 

[BankFodder]

It would be helpful if you posted the screenshots here

[dx100uk]

so grandparents wanting to access to one of your children.

has this family court case already been adjudged? and you knew nothing about it?

or is it you've just got the access claim court papers through and you need to deal with them?

please try and type your msgs properly, i've tried to unravel your posts above and have made them clearer to understand, but the stort is still confusing...

as BF says, we need to see these 'court papers'

redact them as JPG then merge them to one mass PDF

read upload. use the websites there.

dx

 

[stuggling]

Sorry really worried they will see this. 

It not my child is my great niece. 

Grandparent took their child to court to get access to her grand child (my great niece)

It was ordered i act as the go between to do parcels and letters.

I will try upload when home need to edit some things out of it 

[dx100uk]

good grief and you were never previously informed by the court you were going to be a party in this at all?

[stuggling]

Nope nothing! I'm not sure what time home to sort screen shots but will do tonight 

[BankFodder]

It seems that this is a serious family/custody issue here.

I'm not sure that we have the skills or experience to deal with this.

I really wouldn't want to mislead you or to raise hopes – I really think that you need to find somebody who give you some expert advice. I think this probably means a family lawyer and I don't know how much that will cost you will probably get some initial help free of charge.

If there are social workers involved then I would contact them. I'm not sure that citizens advice can be of any use – but you might want to ask them.

I'm very sorry but this forum is probably not the place to come to for this kind of advice.

Maybe someone else will come along and say different but it certainly seems to me you need to get competent help quite quickly

[Ethel Street]

As CAFCASS are already involved it might be worth starting by talking to them, to whoever wrote the report referred to in the court order.

[stuggling]

Thank you I'll delete the image, and get s family lawyer 

[jk2054]

You can write to the court  that made the orderr and ask that they stay the order or change the order on the grounds you withdraw your consent

It won’t be pretty but it will work

[stuggling]

Thanks it's not gonna be nice, but cafcass and social are no longer involved so I'll go see the lawyer see what I can do. Thank you though

[jk2054]

Yes definitely do that, but first, and most importantly, write to the court and say you do not consent to it.

I see the order is by consent. If you say you don't consent the order will be struck out/changed automatically.

A court can't keep a by consent order when there isn't consent.

Edited April 1 by jk2054

[Ethel Street]

I don't believe you can get a family arrangements order changed just by writing to the court and saying you don't consent to be included in it any longer.  You will need to make a formal application to the court for a variation to the order. A family law specialist will best be able to advise. Bear in mind that family courts will consider first and foremost what is best for the child and will encourage the family to discuss it and bring proposals to the court.

[Ethel Street]

14 hours ago, stuggling said:

Thank you I'll delete the image, and get s family lawyer 

 

I've hidden the post that contained the image of the court order to ensure the confidentiality of the child

[stuggling]

Thank you I wasn't sure how to do it, I'll.upfate when I've seen lawyer 

[Ethel Street]

Rely on a family lawyer's opinion not mine! 

[jk2054]

6 hours ago, Ethel Street said:

I don't believe you can get a family arrangements order changed just by writing to the court and saying you don't consent to be included in it any longer.  You will need to make a formal application to the court for a variation to the order. A family law specialist will best be able to advise. Bear in mind that family courts will consider first and foremost what is best for the child and will encourage the family to discuss it and bring proposals to the court.

I thought that'd be correct only if she was one of the parties. When you look at  Hullet & Benton [2022] they said that a party can't withdraw their consent, however from what I understand she is not a party to the agreement, rather a third party who acts under a term of the order which she never agreed to.

Since the OP isn't a direct party to the agreement, surely by default the court would have to stay the order if she doesn't give her consent?

[Ethel Street]

Hullet & Benton [2022] is an Australian case (*) so not relevant here. Family courts always put the child's interests first and will not just delete OP from this role without some agreement on who is going to fill it. Without a 'go between' the whole Order ceases to function.  It's not clear when the OP first found out about being named in the role but the court may want to explore why she did not take steps to be removed immediately she discovered it. That's why OP needs advice from a family lawyer.  

(*) EDIT And it's about property settlements in a divorce/separation, not children.

[jk2054]

oh your right it is aus. I forgot that cases from when i used to live abroad wont be relevant now.

 

sorry about that