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    • god they've got at you haven't they. told you all the usual utter BS. a CCJ vanishes from your credit file on it's 6th B'Day regardless to being paid off or not or paying or not. same with any debt with a registered defaulted date - it vanishes from your file on the DN's 6th B'day regardless. creditfix are Knightsbridge, (they renamed) there are 100's of threads here on Knightsbridge, if i remember rightly 2 of the directors of a certain very big IVA provider were struck off for embezzling £1m's out of debtors. pers i'd stop paying now.  end of . just ignore them all. 99% of your debts are to utterly powerless DCA's and probably were never owed in the first place only goes to firm up my belief from post one..you got had blind. its very easy to deal with the debts even those with CCJ's. can you copy and paste what you credit file says regarding the IVA please?   
    • Sorry I meant credit fix - I really wish I'd known this before - kicking myself right now  If they come back to me asking for more money I'll cancel it and start trying to deal with the debt myself let's see what they say  Feeling tempted to cancel it now but scared that some of the debts will do more CCJ's on me and I'll have to wait 6 years again.  2 of the CCJ come of this year and then I'll only have the iva in credit file - effectively if I'd have not took out the iva in 2021 I'd have clear score by now - but then again would I because I would have been hounded the last 3 years, as bad as it is it's saves me lots of headaches whilst my debt was still within the 6 year mark.  I think most of them are near there but in all honesty no point chasing them if I do cancel iva I'd jjst wait for the ones who contact me and then start the relevant letter process on them.  Of over 6 years easy if not still possible to write off. My true victory would be having the iva wiped off my credit file as mis sold or something that way I Don't have to wait till 2027 Other option is to fight back and ask for them to offer the creditors to accept payments so far and use the following method    Will your IVA firm agree to complete your IVA on the basic of funds paid to date? The Guidance lists a lot of factors to be considered in deciding whether a settlement on the basis of funds paid to date should be proposed. You should read the list. But that may not give you any feel for whether they apply to you or not. The following are my thoughts on when an IVA should be treated as settled, not failed. They assume that you have £75 or less to pay a month: if you would currently qualify for a Debt Relief Order, then your IVA should be settled now  There is no point in making your IVA fail and you have to apply for a DRO – it will not generate another penny for your creditors. If you are renting and owe less than £50,000, check the DRO criteria now and talk to National Debtline on 0808 808 4000 about whether you qualify. You may have been told at the start of your IVA that you aren’t eligible – still check now as the DRO criteria have changed, your situation has got worse, and some people were given incorrect information about DROs at the start. if you have no assets that would be realised in bankruptcy (eg a house with equity, car worth over £2000), then your IVA should be settled now Same as (1), there is no point in making you apply for bankruptcy after your IVA fails. if your only asset is a car that is worth less than £8000, then your IVA should be settled now A car that is worth say £5000 would normally be sold in bankruptcy and you would be given a small amount to buy a cheaper car. But your creditors would not get any benefit from this as the Insolvency Service takes the first £8000 raised to cover its own costs. if you have significant assets, the closer you are to the end of the IVA, the less reasonable it is to fail it If you have been paying your IVA for 4 years, you have done your best over a long period. It isn’t your fault you can no longer continue. The fact you may have had equity to release isn’t relevant as that simply isn’t going to be possible. if your situation will clearly improve soon, then it’s unlikely your IVA will be settled I mean real improvements, not hoping that prices fall. If I can get them to accept payment to date or threaten with cancellation hopefully they may accept it -  Other option is to try and borrow money and pay make a full and final offer  Or I can just ignore and hope for the best which I'm very tempted to do especially if they respond to my review with bullying tactics despite me being skint as a fart with no mortgage as renting  It's so stressful but I've just checked the iva agreement from 2021 and it's Cabot 2 accounts Lowell about 5 accounts and then lots of repeats of the same debt with for example zopa and Cabot same amount listed twice -  also loyyds banks but I'm sure that's older than 6 years and not on credit file anyway  If I can somehow remove the iva from my credit file I'd be happy 
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Ex Husband - Childcare issues


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Yes

No solicitor would ever advise running this to any court

Call his bluff

Do it..£50k rides on it

Thats your kids future sorted end off

please don't hit Quote...just type we know what we said earlier..

DCA's view debtors as suckers, marks and mugs

NO DCA has ANY legal powers whatsoever on ANY debt no matter what it's Type

and they

are NOT and can NEVER  be BAILIFFS. even if a debt has been to court..

If everyone stopped blindly paying DCA's Tomorrow, their industry would collapse overnight... 

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They are 14 and 15. One has said 50/50 time and the other is going because of me and that I asked her too.

 

I am going to court tomorrow to apply for a non molestation order to stop my ex and his gf coming near me and to stop the abuse and aggressiveness

 

Is my Partner correct in saying that I am entitled to claim housing costs for the girls? he said that I am entitled to a refund of loss of money expended on the girls over and above the money that my ex has contributed. I didn't think that was the case? I

 

My understanding is that my ex is legally obliged to pay towards their costs, but not 50%. Child maintenance say that it is approx. 16% of income before tax and pension contributions - which is some way short of 50%. The rest of their expenditure has been covered by me.

 

I'm feeling like my head is in a vice really

- as my ex is being difficult and my partner is pushing me to make claims for money etc that he says I am entitled to.

 

My partner is also saying that my ex would be entitled to equity from the house if he was paying towards the mortgage in order to house his children..

.. am I wrong in thinking that it completely wrong?

 

Is this the partner who had you remortgage house and took the extra money away??

 

Sounds like he’s after more money to me

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Maybe I read it wrong but you talk about both ex husband and new partner in the post.

 

I’ve read your other thread about your partner being controlling with money and forcing you into remortgaging house then he took the excess funds.

 

So to me I took it as your new partner is trying to get you to get more money from the ex husband to do with your children

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My new partner is saying that my ex needs to step into ghe plate with regards to supporting the children properly and taking his fair share of the load. He’s not cling that st the moment.

 

My partner thinks I can claim housing costs from my ex husband for the children. I worry that that isn’t the case

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Ask yourself why his saying that. After the stunts he’s already pulled with you to do with the house and the money he’s taken..

 

It’s sounds like he’s trying to get more cash coming in for him to help himself too.

 

That’s just my opinion going on what I’ve read on your other threads.

 

Your partner is milking you and will continue to do so. He’s already done you over with the house and the cash.

 

You maybe entitled to more from your ex who knows?? But why is your new partner so interested they are not his kids.

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Is it practical for the children to split their time 50/50 with schools etc? I'm not sure I understand the bit about CM, sorry.

 

I've had dealings with a few manipulative people in my time and something that cruzhughes said made me think. Your new partner does seem very interested in money, or spending it at least and I had a Machiavellian thought. I don't see why your ex should have a claim on the house if he's signed an agreement to give it up, but I do hope your partner isn't thinking that you could sign the house over to him in order to avoid claims from your ex.

 

If I'm being paranoid, I'm sure people will be quick to tell me. :)

 

 

HB

Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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Something doesn’t ring true to me.

 

More alarm bells are ringing to motives of new partner.

 

He seems a wrong un and he’s already put you under a massive financial burden. When you were managing the mortgage and bills on your own before he came along.

 

Now you have double the debt and outgoings per month and have handed him half your house and cash on a plate. And he’s not contributing or did he to warrant what he’s now got in the short time you’ve been together.

 

Whereas you have lost out big time

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Is it practical for the children to split their time 50/50 with schools etc? I'm not sure I understand the bit about CM, sorry.

 

I've had dealings with a few manipulative people in my time and something that cruzhughes said made me think. Your new partner does seem very interested in money, or spending it at least and I had a Machiavellian thought. I don't see why your ex should have a claim on the house if he's signed an agreement to give it up, but I do hope your partner isn't thinking that you could sign the house over to him in order to avoid claims from your ex.

 

If I'm being paranoid, I'm sure people will be quick to tell me. :)

 

 

HB

 

 

I am not sure that 50/50 care is right for my children, but if I go to mediation with that as a starting point, I might be on a highway to getting somewhere near what I want, which is three weekends to him and one with me. Its so difficult arranging shared care, because I want my children myself, the thing is that I know I don't have the mental energy for two teenagers, and coping on my own is difficult. My ex husband has a duty to his children. I'm not his child minder. selfishly, I am entitled to a life, and if I am happy my children will benefit from that. at the moment, I feel very stressed as I rarely have any time to breathe

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Something doesn’t ring true to me.

 

More alarm bells are ringing to motives of new partner.

 

He seems a wrong un and he’s already put you under a massive financial burden. When you were managing the mortgage and bills on your own before he came along.

 

Now you have double the debt and outgoings per month and have handed him half your house and cash on a plate. And he’s not contributing or did he to warrant what he’s now got in the short time you’ve been together.

 

Whereas you have lost out big time

 

 

I have lost out big time - I know this. I'm trying to make the best of a situation that I have created myself. its quite depressing at times!

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Get any money / asset for the children put into a trust that the new partner has no claim on nor power over. Then see how interested the new partner remains in it.

 

 

I don't know how to get a lump sum from my ex. He will say that he is entitled to the money from the house as it equates to his share of the equity. he agreed to sign me the house in return for the £25k.

 

 

This money will be paid to him in the next couple of months. How can I justify to him that I am entited to any of that for his children?

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on what grounds would I have that would stand up in court, would I have any claim over any of the money that I am about to pay my ex husband for is share of the equity from the ex marital home?

 

 

I'm concerned that the mnute I land any claim over that money he will flip his lid and I will end up with more issues than I already have

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Which is why I think that you desperately need to talk to a solicitor, most will give you an initial consultation for free and will tell you if they believe that you have a case.

 

If you do, whatever your solicitor costs you will be worth every penny.

Please note that my posts are my opinion only and should not be taken as any kind of legal advice.
In fact, they're probably just waffling and can be quite safely and completely ignored as you wish.

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I have my first mediation meeting tomorrow - the person I am seeing is also a solicitor so I will discuss it with her - mediation should help me sort out the finances as well. I'm fed up of having to pay the lionshare of everything. Just because I am divorced from my childrens father doesn't mean that he can pay the minimum. if we were living together he would behave in a normal way and wouldn't question the money spent on his children. why does divorce caused people to question money spent on their children? I know this doesn't happen in all cases, but probably happens too often. I just feel that my ex husband is trying to squirm out of so much - am I not entitled to my life too?

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Are you seeing a solicitor who can advise you?

Or a mediator (who may also be a solicitor) but if acting as a mediator CANNOT advise you while remaining a neutral mediator.

 

A mediator can suggest options to explore that one or. Oth of the parties hadn’t considered, though. Just don’t expect advice, since that compromises their neutrality.

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  • 3 weeks later...

went to my MIAM and it was very good meeting.

 

 

The downside s that my ex initially refused to attend, but has since changed his mind!

 

 

So lets see what happens.

 

 

I don't hold my breath TBH, and certainly feel that I should just keep my children with me. if it is such a battle - why am I bothering? its men like my ex husband that give absent fathers a bad name.

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  • 4 weeks later...

UPDATE

 

In recent weeks there have been some difficult situations.

 

Firstly with my ex husband being so very unreliable with regards to the timetable of when he will have his children. There is now NO communication between us - so all comms is being diverted through the children. This is not what I want and never what I wanted. He is dropping them back with no notice - so I am just taking them back. My patience is being tested and I am not coping well at all. I am so stressed I cannot cope with things anymore. I feel like this is killing me.

 

I had a recent situation recently where my ex was in the car behind me waving his arms etc.

I got out of my car, and to cut a long story short he drove his car at me.

 

I reported it to the police (turns out he did too) he was raging with fury and was looking for a fight.

He blames my partner for forcing him to have his children.

 

anyway long story short - my ex was interviewed by the police and the outcome is that he has to attend a domestic violence course. He has to learn to control his temper.

 

This morning I check my bank account and he has reduced the amount of child maintenance he pays to me.

no notice, no warning - just cut it by £100 a month.

 

He has previously complained that he pays too much (2 teenage daughters)

He earns approx. £30k and is now paying me £37.50 per child per week.

he has them approx. 2 nights per week on average

- although I am sure that if I worked it out it was much less than that.

 

my issue is that I don't know where this well end.

I am about to pay him £25k for his share of the matrimonial home (we agreed this months and months ago) when we split up there was approx. £34k equity. and although he is possibly not entitled to 50% of that (£17k), because I had the children with me and the advice I have been given is that in these situations there is a move away from equal equity.

 

I remortgaged the house with my now partner and my ex husband signed the transfer papers with the agreement that I honour my proposal of the £25k. (I will be in funds at the end of this month to discharge my liability to my ex0husband) and am looking forward to doing just that!

 

my concern is that this might go skyward and he might try to claim that he is entitled to more than £25k, although we owned the house as joint tenants he did not honour his agreement with the bank and pay his share of the mortgage. I ended up paying the mortgage on full for over 2.5 years and the maintenance costs.

 

my current partner is not aware of the agreement that I have with my ex-husband, and I am concerned that my ex-husband (who is being fuelled by his current gf) will keep coming after me come what may, and wont stop until he breaks me.

 

I feel like I am being squeezed, because he doesn't want to have his children and is forcing my hand by hitting me financially. At the end of the day when he cuts the money for his children, it affects their quality of life, not to mention their wellbeing. I just am at my wits end, and don't know what to do.

 

 

ANY HELP OR ADVICE WOULD BE GRATEFUL (edited)

 

can someone help me.... please

Edited by dx100uk
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