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Ex Husband - Childcare issues

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Hi All


not sure if you can even help me, but I will give it a go


I split from my ex husband 4 years ago.  I bought his share of the house. and he was paid handsomely for it.


  he was having his children once a week (then 11 / 12) and since then the arrangements have moved around, and he is far from reliable- he says he 'gave me a house' to look after his kids...... he gave me nothing - he wanted off the mortgage and he was paid out...'


there has been refusal on his part to attend mediation, in fact he is aggressive towards me now as he was then.  he has been arrested in the summer of last year as he drove his vehicle at me.  so a very fraught situation.

cutting a long story short, he was informed by the police and his own solicitor to have no contact with me.  I have told him to leave me alone. he constantly throws grenades into my life, and makes trouble between me and my partner and upsets the children (15/16). 


so he has now changed his mind again about contact, and wants to see LESS of his children.     I had said NO, they need to maintain structure and need their dad and vice versa.  I'm getting abusive voicemails from him, so I have turned it off.


hes now taken to getting his solicitor to write to me regarding seeing his children LESS.  Of course the correct place o discuss child contact is Mediation, but hes refusing because I had him arrested last year.  (yawn yawn).


the thing is that the solicitor keeps writing.  telling me I have 7 days to reply or else.....


I work with a lady who is a magistrate, who has told me that he wouldn't get near a court with this, and that if he did he'd be the laughing stock of the UK


I want t know what I can do to stop him writing to me via third parties?  its upsetting me and making it very difficult to hold down my job

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I'm sure it must be very upsetting. I bit surprised that he seems to be taking action to see less of his children rather than more of his children. I don't really have any experience but I would have always thought that the issue would have been that one partner all the other was being deprived of access to the children – but you seem to be suggesting that it's the other way around.

I can't imagine that there is some kind of order or legal obligation on him to see his children more. I don't believe that the law makes those kinds of orders. The law issues prohibitions – negative injunctions if you like but it's very rare for the law to issue positive injunctions and especially in this kind of situation.

This all sounds a bit like harassment to me but I don't think we have a lot of experience of that kind of thing on this forum. Have you looked at this https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/contents the protection from harassment act 1997? Does your situation fit into any of the circumstances envisaged by any of the provisions of that legislation?

Also it almost sounds like a species of domestic abuse. At the very least I think that you could reach out to this Twitter account https://twitter.com/A_Gentle_Woman and the followers of the account and I think that you will probably get a lot of useful support there.

Maybe somebody else will come along with some more practical advice than I can give

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