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Petrified my son is moving to Scotland


Markb03
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Hi,

 

I apologise if this is in the wrong place but I didn't know where to post it and I desperately need help as I am going out of my wits with worry and stress.

 

This will be a long post

 

Me and my partner split up when my son was one. I see his quite a lot so I am lucky in that aspect of it but I don't think its due to my ex being nice more so not being able to cope.

 

Anyway she met a new guy and all was going well. I met him a few times and all went well. My time with my son was not impacted. About a year after they got together I had a letter from Social Services saying her new partner was being investigated for emotional abuse and his children from a previous was not allowed to see them. This in turn also extended to my son and another child my ex and him had (Confusing I know)

 

Anyway this went on and on and I think if I remember there was a protection order in place so he was not able to see my son or his new child.

 

The social left this order in place but did not proceed any further with the case. I later found out that my ex had married this guy and had another child with him while this order was in place and kept it a secret. She had told my son not to tell me and said if he did the social would take him away from his family. For 2 years my son held this lie.

 

Anyway it finally came out and I only found out via the Social. When I confronted her she denied it. I asked her sister who she no longer talks to and she confirmed it and sent me photos (They was talking at the time of the wedding) I sent the photos to my ex to prove I knew about it and she confessed. The social basically closed the case again as they think there is no need to keep it open. I was happy with this as I trust the social.

 

On Saturday just gone (18/06/16) my son told me that his mum thought about moving to Scotland. I questioned more as it took me by shock. My son didn't know more so I left it at that and instantly spoke to my ex who denied it and said I don't know where my son got it from .

 

This morning on the way to school I asked again and he told me his mum said he could Skype me if they move to Scotland as they will not be seeing me that much.

 

I would like to explain that I have a 13 year old daughter who is living in Wales with another ex that I no longer see. I fought in court for 6 years to see her. I got orders, my ex was served papers at her work as she ignored them at her home. Eventually I got contact that was supervised. Then it stopped. I found out she had moved to Wales. At the time I was not in work and I could not afford the travel and with a heavy heart I concluded I would loose access with my daughter.

 

I am thinking my ex is thinking if she moves to Scotland I will back away from seeing my son to. But I am working now and in more of a position to fight it.

 

My son was born in 2007 and I am on the birth certificate. I also believe I get automatic PR as I am on the birth certificate and he was born after 2003.

 

Does this give me any right to blocking the move?

Would the involvement of the social have any impact on this?

Would the involvement of her new partner who had an order have any impact on this?

 

My son had a poor start in life and struggled with school to. Since he has been at school in Birmingham he has thrived and is doing so well and I am so proud of him. But I am worried him moving to Scotland would have a massive impact on this. I don't want him to start again. He is a timid and shy boy and he has a few friends. I think moving to a new country and school away from his friends will make it even worse.

 

Is there any advice anyone can give me?

 

I am begging here as I am at my wits end and I can't stop worrying. I can't get lagal aid but I can't afford solicitor fees so I don't know what to do.

 

Please help a worried dad.

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This sounds like a shocking and very distressing story.

 

I certainly don't know any of the answers to your questions – and I'm not sure if anybody else will come along and give you the information that you need. Monitor the thread for replies.

 

In the meantime, I have a sort of feeling that maybe MumsNet might be a place to go. Have you thought of that and have you tried it? I don't often recommend other forums to people but in this case you may as well try your luck there as well.

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Hello - I am sorry to hear about this difficult situation.

 

My understanding is that the fact you have parental responsibility does not entitle you to block the move. However, it does entitle you to apply to court for what is called a 'prohibited steps order' or a 'specific issues order'. This would be a court order determining an issue such as which school a child should attend or which part of the country he/she should live in. You would typically be invited to a mediation to agree what should happen, and if that doesn't work out then the court would decide.

 

It is difficult to say much more without knowing why they are moving to Scotland. The fact that your ex seems to keep lying to you makes this more difficult.

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Hello there. I really feel for you over this sorry saga and hope we can give you some help.

 

In addition to what Bankfodder said, there's also the Gingerbread charity for single parents. They've been around for a while and have a helpline as well as a website.

 

http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/

 

HB

Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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Thank you all.

 

Spoke to my ex today and she is adamant they are not moving and have promised me they are not moving as she does not want to remove my son from his family.

 

I just hope its the truth and I can believe it.

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