Need serious help please !!

[Gay_guy1986]

Hello,

 

 

Most of you know that I told you that I got a Job, well I lied because being on Job Seekers is the most embarrassing thing in the world, please don't have a go at me because I hate people knowing I'm on Job Seekers but this is the time I need serious help fast.

 

 

Today, my 4 week sanction ended however I signed on today at 1.40pm but the advisor who I saw told me that she has no choice but to send my claim to a decision maker for another sanction, this time because of my email address which I told you about a few weeks back its (gay_guy1986 with yahoo) anyhow, she said, I am not expecting any employer's to get in touch with me with that email address as she states some might be homophobic, is she correct? I think this is just stupid reason for a sanction, I don't think I can cope with another sanction, next sanction is for a 13 weeks.

 

 

I am already behind on my council tax which I need to attend court next 2 weeks because I had no money to pay it.

 

 

I feel really stressed right now, I thought about taking my own life today when I got back from Job Centre, I just can't cope anymore with Job Centre, I've had enough. I have been crying today (yeah, that's coming from a guy. just show how stress I am right now and life is so hard for me)

 

 

I have come of a short 4 week sanction and now am getting a longer one

 

 

Any advice on what to do, like I said, please don't have a go at me because I am really not in the mood. I just need some sensible advice

 

 

Thank you.

[antone]

Don't read this as "having a go", but if you don't tell us the truth about what's happening then you can expect two things to happen:

 

1) Whatever advice you get will be based on incorrect information; and

2) People will stop believing what you say.

 

Right, so, that said, my thoughts are:

 

If you are feeling suicidal, you should contact the Samaritans, your GP or some other source of support.

 

I think your choice of email address is unwise, but I'm not convinced it should be grounds for a sanction. Should one be applied, you should request a mandatory reconsideration as soon as you are informed of the sanction. But as a matter of pragmatism, set up a new email address ASAP, and make it of the form [email protected]

 

As to whether employers might be homophobic, well, perhaps some are. But it's already been explained to you, in some depth, why your choice of email address is unprofessional quite aside from any concerns about prejudice.

[fkofilee]

Bah we are going to take you to the yard for a shooting!!!

Not really But please heed both Antone & MY Advice.

 

You are not going to help anyone with that email address neither you or your potential employers. Hotmail is easy to set up. Mine is My full name @gmail.com and it works as a main contact for professional use.

Its free like Hotmail, Yahoo, Gmail, Apple's ME service.

 

Yes i feel the sanction is too far, but in some respect she has some points. You want a job? You need to fall in line with professional standpoints. If someone sees an email address like that your CV will go right out the window.

 

Agree with Antone's Samaritan part, but those who make the effort, feel the benefit, will succeed.

[Gay_guy1986]

I can understand where both of you coming from but my old email address which was (shaun_clark67756 with yahoo) I have always applied with Jobs with that email but I never got any feedback or replies with that email, so what different does it make with my new email?

[antone]

I can understand where both of you coming from but my old email address which was (shaun_clark67756 with yahoo) I have always applied with Jobs with that email but I never got any feedback or replies with that email, so what different does it make with my new email?

 

It's pretty common not to get replies or feedback when applying for jobs. Sad, but it seems to be the world we live in. The point is that your new email address really doesn't help. It makes it look like you have no idea how to be professional. Suppose you were an employer - what would you think of me if I applied for a job with you and my email was ilikeboobies@hotmail?

 

Seriously - I know this is something you feel strongly about, but you have to choose your battles.

[fkofilee]

It's not just your email address, remember the job market is extremely competitive!!

They see thousands of CVs every year!

 

Try registering your CV with reed... It's one of the best in my opinion and the recruitment agencies do come a calling.

 

Get your CV looked over and make sure it's set up in the best way that sells you

[estellyn]

It's pretty common not to get replies or feedback when applying for jobs. Sad, but it seems to be the world we live in. The point is that your new email address really doesn't help. It makes it look like you have no idea how to be professional. Suppose you were an employer - what would you think of me if I applied for a job with you and my email was ilikeboobies@hotmail?

 

Seriously - I know this is something you feel strongly about, but you have to choose your battles.

 

 

Didn't we go over and over this in a previous thread?

 

 

Makes a person feel like they wasted their time responding.

[oleg]

Shaun's email address was not a statement of lust as in ilikeboobies but a declaration of who he is. A gay person has the right to wear his PRIDE on his t shirt, email address and wherever else he so fancies.

All this bull is about professionalism really irritates me. For starters, if the adviser was right about some employers being homophobic, far far better they know from his email address than when he has to face some nasty confrontation in the workplace later. In other words, the address has done him a favour.

Second, perhaps some employers would actually look up to and admire someone who takes a fun, creative approach rather than staid, boring, run of the mill stance of the overwhelming majority of jobseekers.

Shaun it's hard to tell from your various threads what exactly lies at the root of your repeated disputes with job centre staff and I don't pretend to be able to offer help, it's not something I have experience of. I'm writing only to give you my support and let you know that even strangers can care.

All I want to say is, please don't let yourself get too down. Like you, I've had a shockingly awful day, and I'm not expecting much better tomorrow, but Change does eventually come.

I bet you're sick to the gills of registering CVs, lol.

Oleg

[antone]

Didn't we go over and over this in a previous thread?

 

 

Makes a person feel like they wasted their time responding.

 

Yes, we did. Ad nauseam.

[antone]

Shaun's email address was not a statement of lust as in ilikeboobies but a declaration of who he is. A gay person has the right to wear his PRIDE on his t shirt, email address and wherever else he so fancies.

All this bull is about professionalism really irritates me. For starters, if the adviser was right about some employers being homophobic, far far better they know from his email address than when he has to face some nasty confrontation in the workplace later. In other words, the address has done him a favour.

 

That he has the right to use whatever he likes as his email address is not in dispute here. Otherwise, I think this is one of the worst pieces of advice I have seen posted on this forum.

[veganite]

Shaun's email address was not a statement of lust as in ilikeboobies but a declaration of who he is. A gay person has the right to wear his PRIDE on his t shirt, email address and wherever else he so fancies.

All this bull is about professionalism really irritates me. For starters, if the adviser was right about some employers being homophobic, far far better they know from his email address than when he has to face some nasty confrontation in the workplace later. In other words, the address has done him a favour.

Second, perhaps some employers would actually look up to and admire someone who takes a fun, creative approach rather than staid, boring, run of the mill stance of the overwhelming majority of jobseekers.

Shaun it's hard to tell from your various threads what exactly lies at the root of your repeated disputes with job centre staff and I don't pretend to be able to offer help, it's not something I have experience of. I'm writing only to give you my support and let you know that even strangers can care.

All I want to say is, please don't let yourself get too down. Like you, I've had a shockingly awful day, and I'm not expecting much better tomorrow, but Change does eventually come.

I bet you're sick to the gills of registering CVs, lol.

Oleg

 

Good well thought out advice - in addition to showing compassion and the fact that strangers do care - something which was needed in light of the OP stating that they feel suicidal. Apologies to anyone who disagrees with me in relation to my good advice comment.

 

 

To OP - the only thing I can add to the advice provided by Oleg is this - Tomorrow, make an appointment to see your GP. Perhaps even take a printout of this thread... I am no medical expert but believe you do need to see a GP for perhaps stress and depression. If your GP agrees that you are suffering with stress and depression (my opinion since you stated you wanted to take your own life) then your benefit claim should be changed from Job Seekers to something more suitable for you - perhaps sickness? Its my opinion that you should not be claiming job seekers whilst you are so obviously stressed and depressed and that a more suitable benefit should be provided to you.

[antone]

Good well thought out advice - in addition to showing compassion and the fact that strangers do care - something which was needed in light of the OP stating that they feel suicidal. Apologies to anyone who disagrees with me in relation to my good advice comment.

 

 

To OP - the only thing I can add to the advice provided by Oleg is this - Tomorrow, make an appointment to see your GP. Perhaps even take a printout of this thread... I am no medical expert but believe you do need to see a GP for perhaps stress and depression. If your GP agrees that you are suffering with stress and depression (my opinion since you stated you wanted to take your own life) then your benefit claim should be changed from Job Seekers to something more suitable for you - perhaps sickness? Its my opinion that you should not be claiming job seekers whilst you are so obviously stressed and depressed and that a more suitable benefit should be provided to you.

 

I don't disagree with this in principle, but, well, in practical terms it's not at all easy to qualify for sickness-related benefits. There are plenty of posters here who will attest to that. And picking totally unnecessary fights with the Jobcentre will not help at all. Especially since, in this case, the JC adviser actually has a point, albeit not one that, IMO, justifies a sanction.

 

However, yes. It would be worthwhile seeking further help, and while I do believe that the folks here are compassionate, we simply don't have the resources to help people with mental health issues.

[Shoelover]

Hmmm. I can see both sides.

 

I wouldn't use shoelover as an email address when looking for work because I just think a name just sounds more business like.

 

As well as being a gay guy you are also many other things- I don't know what they are but they could be creative, practical, tidy, untidy, extrovert, introvert - the list is endless! My point is, being gay is merely a part of who you are, not just the only thing you are. I really do not mean that in a homophobic sense.

 

Get a boring email address for looking for work and then when you have a job you can get shot if it- then all those agencies can spam it with rubbish jobs whilst your own personal email address is not.

 

Chose your battles wisely.

[dyfed]

Oh geez not this email thing again /sigh

[RaeUK]

Why lie on an anonymous internet forum that exists solely to offer advice and help? That smacks of attention seeking. As does the stated email address. It's unprofessional. Being gay is just a very small part of what a person is.

[Gay_guy1986]

Why lie on an anonymous internet forum that exists solely to offer advice and help? That smacks of attention seeking. As does the stated email address. It's unprofessional. Being gay is just a very small part of what a person is.

 

 

 

I'm sorry but I disagree with this statement, Job centre is not my employer!! its just a rubbish dole office, who the hell do advisors think they are? they told me to remove my gay t-shirt which is way out of order and now they telling me to remove my email address, this is way getting out of hand.

 

 

By the way, I haven't removed my gay t-shirt as I am still wearing them at my appointments, they backed down when I threatened them with legal action, it just shows that they don't know what they talking about, making some stupid excuse up like, I will get sanctioned if I don't remove my t-shirt.

 

 

They just trying to find a petty excuse for a sanction so they can get sanction targets up (yes, this as been on ITV news I think last year) They can't sanction me because of an email address, so what if my email contains what I am?? if when I apply for a Job and the employer don't contact me because I am gay then to me and I am sure you agree that is homophobic and its discrimination, its equal opportunities isn't it? or wait, no its not. I think employers should discrimination all people like ginger hair, disabled people and so on. (I'm being sarcastic by the way)

 

 

I am going to Citizen Advice on Monday about this and then making appointment with Welfare rights, this is a joke and its not on, I have also made a complaint to the manager at my local Job Centre, I will take this to the courts if I have to, I will even sue them.

[RaeUK]

No worries, I didn't expect you to agree. Using 'gay guy' as your email address for professional purposes is the same as using 'blue eyes' or 'tall guy' or 'brown hair'. The only pertinent difference is that, should no response be forthcoming, it gives you the excuse to say 'aha! Homophobia!' Why try to create a problem where one may well not exist?

[Gay_guy1986]

No worries, I didn't expect you to agree. Using 'gay guy' as your email address for professional purposes is the same as using 'blue eyes' or 'tall guy' or 'brown hair'. The only pertinent difference is that, should no response be forthcoming, it gives you the excuse to say 'aha! Homophobia!' Why try to create a problem where one may well not exist?

 

 

I didn't know email address is part of my Job Seekers agreement (being sarcastic again) its stupid. when I told my mates this, they laughed and were shocked and said its out of order and yes, they know what the email address is, they told me to take action which I am doing on Monday.

[RaeUK]

Not a problem, I wish you all the best with whatever action you choose to take. Personally, I make a distinction between what is professional and what isn't, as such I use four different email addresses. At the very least it tends to galvanise most of the spam to just one account.

[Gay_guy1986]

But Job Centre is not professional, its a just a rubbish dole office !!!

[estellyn]

But Job Centre is not professional, its a just a rubbish dole office !!!

 

 

So you use a different email address with prospective employers, then?

[antone]

I didn't know email address is part of my Job Seekers agreement (being sarcastic again) its stupid. when I told my mates this, they laughed and were shocked and said its out of order and yes, they know what the email address is, they told me to take action which I am doing on Monday.

 

Oh for heaven's sake. Get over yourself.

 

I don't know how to put this, but, no-one cares that you are gay. No-one cares that I like girls. If you really must insist on picking ridiculous fights with the Jobcentre, please don't come on here and ask for our advice as to which weapons you should use. We have better things to do with our time.

 

Of course there is homophobia. You do yourself credit by fighting it. But there's a time and a place.

[citizenkain]

this person needs to get mental help from his doctor,hes on some kind of crusade,its the same old story hes posting all over the internet,not just here,its pointless advising him anything as he is just constantly tell lies for attention,to keep some kind of drama going,its phychiatric help he needs.

[citizenkain]

this person needs to get mental help from his doctor,hes on some kind of crusade,its the same old story hes posting all over the internet,not just here,its pointless advising him anything as he is just constantly tell lies for attention,to keep some kind of drama going,its phychiatric help he needs.

[kk3852]

The title of this thread is that the OP is asking for serious help.......well you have been given help, on numerous threads and don't like the answers.

 

You clearly have not found anyone willing to employ you (and that can be because of your attitude) so perhaps it's time to conform with the establishment. But only if you want money to live on