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Cheekiness towards a DCA


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Excellent :D

 

The 999 operator's script is 'EMERGENCY, which service? Fire, police or ambulance?'

 

Then, when they refuse to answer, say you have to transfer all hoax calls to the police ;)

 

That will probably confuse them no end. My son rang 999 when we accidentally left him 'home alone' and went on holiday - we only got half a mile down the road when we realised:eek:. He was only about 5 at the time and it totally threw him when they asked him which service:D And he is far too intelligent to work for a DCA.

BANK CHARGES

Nat West Bus Acct £1750 reclaim - WON

 

LTSB Bus Acct £1650 charges w/o against o/s balance - WON

 

Halifax Pers Acct £1650 charges taken from benefits - WON

 

Others

 

GE Money sec loan - £1900 in charges - settlement agreed

GE Money sec loan - ERC of £2.5K valid for 15 years - on standby

FirstPlus - missold PPI of £20K for friends - WON

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Just thought of this one!

 

Me: Hello, Broadmoor Hospital.

DCA: Can I speak to Mr Beetzart please?

Me: I'll just transfer you. (Make transfer noises?)

(Wait a minute or two)

Me: Hello, Norfolk Ward who may I ask is calling?

DCA: Hello, this is Gary from Satan Debt Recoveries Ltd. May I speak to Mr Beetzart please?

Me: I am afraid he is heavinly sedated at the moment on Haldol and restrained in a padded cell, FOR OUR SAFETY.

DCA: Well I'm ringing on behalf of MBNA in respect of a personal business matter.

Me: Well, he has recently killed four inmates, I mean patients, by decapitation, but if you leave a full name, address, and contact number I will pass it onto him before he is due to be released next tuesday.....

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Guest forgottenone

DCA: Hello, may we speak with-

PARKER: Do you wish to speak to the lady of the h-house?

DCA: Erm, well, yes if she's available ...

PARKER: *coughs politely* One moment ... *sound of footsteps on marble receding away*

PARKER: Bloke on phone says he's from some ooutfit called a 'DCA?' Says he wants to talk with the lady of the 'ouse ...

LADY PENELOPE: Really, Parker? DCA, you say? *Parker nods* Perhaps, then it is some secret organisation operated by our old friend the Hood ... under the acronym D.C.A ... *opens compact, speaks into it*

PARKER: Yes, M'lady.

LADY PENELOPE: Calling International Rescue, Thunderbirds we need you ... Come in Thunderbird 5 ... *to Parker* Quickly, Parker, delay them as long as possible so the Tracy Brothers can handle their organisation, trace the call ...

PARKER: F.A.B m'lady

 

Footnote: D.C.A stands for Dangerous Criminals Anonymous ;)

Edited by forgottenone
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Just had a call, yippee!!

 

Me: Hello

DCA: Can I speak to Mr Beetzart please?

Me: And who is this?

DCA: I'm Cornelius, and I'm calling from a company called Capquest.

Me: Oh, that's nice, do you know what time it is?

DCA: Yes I do.

Me: Well it's Saturday evening, don't you people have a day off?

DCA: Unfortunetly I don't today.

Me: That's a shame, what with all this lovely weather and that wouldn't you rather be sitting in a pub garden or having a BBQ with all your mate?

DCA: Is that Mr Beetzart?

Me: Never heard of him mate?

DCA: Ok must have the wrong number.

Me: You must have mate.

DCA: Bye then,

Me: Bye mate have a nice night!

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Beetzart where are you? It has persisted it down all day long here....

BANK CHARGES

Nat West Bus Acct £1750 reclaim - WON

 

LTSB Bus Acct £1650 charges w/o against o/s balance - WON

 

Halifax Pers Acct £1650 charges taken from benefits - WON

 

Others

 

GE Money sec loan - £1900 in charges - settlement agreed

GE Money sec loan - ERC of £2.5K valid for 15 years - on standby

FirstPlus - missold PPI of £20K for friends - WON

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Beetzart where are you? It has persisted it down all day long here....

 

Goldlady, i'm down the south east and apart from a bit of rain very early today it has been a bluesky day all day

 

 

Lucky old us beetzart ...... I have been sitting in the sun this afternoon.

 

Had a call earlier from Moorcroft .... I did not want to talk at the time so did not answer hence they left a message .... when the chap finished talking he did not cut the call off .... result ... I have on recording a minute plus of his female colleague at Moorcroft giving some poor soul a right tongue lashing. Apparently according to Moorcroft muppet "She is not there to phone us BUT she is there for us to phone her"!!! From the way she was talking it was unfortunately not a CAGGER on the line. They really must be stopped from treating people in this way.

 

 

Onwards and Upwards

 

Chalkitup

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Guest forgottenone
I hope inpersonating the emergency services is not a crime though!

 

Actually, it is. But I rather think you probably knew that already. :D

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Oh, well. Expect if I told them who one of my relatives is at a DCA ... oh, deary me - they wouldn't call again rest assured of that! Love to see their face if I ever did that. Priceless! Don't want to be cruel, though ... ;):D

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Lucky old us beetzart ...... I have been sitting in the sun this afternoon.

 

Had a call earlier from Moorcroft .... I did not want to talk at the time so did not answer hence they left a message .... when the chap finished talking he did not cut the call off .... result ... I have on recording a minute plus of his female colleague at Moorcroft giving some poor soul a right tongue lashing. Apparently according to Moorcroft muppet "She is not there to phone us BUT she is there for us to phone her"!!! From the way she was talking it was unfortunately not a CAGGER on the line. They really must be stopped from treating people in this way.

 

 

Onwards and Upwards

 

 

 

Chalkitup

 

You have to get a copy of this to the OFT.

 

I want to see Moorcroft get screwed big style.

 

Whatever it takes. I want it to happen more than anything. :D

These are video links to show how I deal with Debt Collectors.

 

Fly fishing for C.A.R.S

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zPtzK8FqE6k&feature=related

 

Frederickson International don't accept my card type

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eiZBULlWW6Q&feature=related

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Sometimes we notice they're not human. :p

These are video links to show how I deal with Debt Collectors.

 

Fly fishing for C.A.R.S

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zPtzK8FqE6k&feature=related

 

Frederickson International don't accept my card type

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eiZBULlWW6Q&feature=related

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Lucky old us beetzart ...... I have been sitting in the sun this afternoon.

 

Had a call earlier from Moorcroft .... I did not want to talk at the time so did not answer hence they left a message .... when the chap finished talking he did not cut the call off .... result ... I have on recording a minute plus of his female colleague at Moorcroft giving some poor soul a right tongue lashing. Apparently according to Moorcroft muppet "She is not there to phone us BUT she is there for us to phone her"!!! From the way she was talking it was unfortunately not a CAGGER on the line. They really must be stopped from treating people in this way.

 

 

Onwards and Upwards

 

Chalkitup

 

Chalkitup - you've got to post this up somewhere - YouTube maybe? It would be just the thing to show everybody why they should NEVER ring a DCA. Can you do it?

 

Fred

Before you criticise another man you should first walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you criticise him, you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes on.

 

Don't get me confused with somebody knowledgeable by all those green blobs. I got most of them by making people laugh.

 

I am not European, I am English.

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Its been sunshine here all day Goldlady.

 

They said they rain would be in the north all day must be cause of wimblodon.

OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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Wouldn't lose any sleep, after all DCA employees get away with impersonating human beings every day.

 

David

 

 

Now i did wonder what theat strange object floating in the sky was. Now we no i best call area51 does anyone have the number?

OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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Its been sunshine here all day Goldlady.

 

They said they rain would be in the north all day must be cause of wimblodon.

 

That's because Venus Williams' backside blotted out the sun.

 

Fred

Before you criticise another man you should first walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you criticise him, you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes on.

 

Don't get me confused with somebody knowledgeable by all those green blobs. I got most of them by making people laugh.

 

I am not European, I am English.

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OOOOH! Thats below the belt FB :D

THE PRETENDER AGENDA - August 30,2008 - 2ND ROW!!! WOO-HOO!! :-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A FAB NITE LEE! xx

Sunderland 011008 - THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESSIE EVER! 'Aww, it's your birthday! Happy birthday darlin!'

 

02 Apr 2008, 23:55

OfficialLeeRyan wrote:

i like that!! its simple and good and gets the fans involved aswell x x x

 

MY SUCCESSES -

 

1st Credit (Lloyds TSB) admitted no CCA, reply from OFT 130608, reply from FOS 040608, adjudication stage rejected but still no contact....

 

My mate (Littlewoods/Moorcroft)

300608 -Long running battle,threatening court, CCA letter NO 2 and harrassment letter sent - passed back to Littlewoods early July.

070808 - Passed to Debt Managers, Acct in dispute/BOG OFF letter sent 080808...

140808 - Letter from Debt Managers passing debt back to Littlewoods - RESULT! :D

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Nowt to do with venus it was the ufo DCAs party nite.

OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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BT:- directory enquirys how may i help.

ME:- Hi i need the number for area 51 as there is something strange floating in the sky.

BT:- oh yes heres the number 555-999-666-DCAs-Need-Shooting.

ME:- Thank you very much.

OFT debt collection guidance

 

Please remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask so dont worry about asking the stupid questions.

 

Essex girl in pc world looking 4 curtains 4 her pc,the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer!!Essex girl says,''HELLOOO!! i,ve got WINDOWS!!'.

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:lol:

THE PRETENDER AGENDA - August 30,2008 - 2ND ROW!!! WOO-HOO!! :-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A FAB NITE LEE! xx

Sunderland 011008 - THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESSIE EVER! 'Aww, it's your birthday! Happy birthday darlin!'

 

02 Apr 2008, 23:55

OfficialLeeRyan wrote:

i like that!! its simple and good and gets the fans involved aswell x x x

 

MY SUCCESSES -

 

1st Credit (Lloyds TSB) admitted no CCA, reply from OFT 130608, reply from FOS 040608, adjudication stage rejected but still no contact....

 

My mate (Littlewoods/Moorcroft)

300608 -Long running battle,threatening court, CCA letter NO 2 and harrassment letter sent - passed back to Littlewoods early July.

070808 - Passed to Debt Managers, Acct in dispute/BOG OFF letter sent 080808...

140808 - Letter from Debt Managers passing debt back to Littlewoods - RESULT! :D

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Nowt to do with venus it was the ufo DCAs party nite.

 

UFO is what I say to DCAs on the 'phone nowadays.

 

Fred

Before you criticise another man you should first walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you criticise him, you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes on.

 

Don't get me confused with somebody knowledgeable by all those green blobs. I got most of them by making people laugh.

 

I am not European, I am English.

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I'm a bit bored at the moment.

Any ideas or suggestions of things to say to Moorcroft when I next

ring them to annoy one of their monkeys?

 

Already got pub background sound effects tape.

Pretend to be deaf and a bit drunk.

I keep forgetting things and repeating myself.

Suddenly mentioning non relevent things. ;-)

These are video links to show how I deal with Debt Collectors.

 

Fly fishing for C.A.R.S

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zPtzK8FqE6k&feature=related

 

Frederickson International don't accept my card type

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eiZBULlWW6Q&feature=related

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