Cheekiness towards a DCA

[cashins]

Ellie Renshaw

[cerberusalert]

So far I have someone delivering a parcel, window cleaner, and a Jehovas Witness.

 

I'll match you with a wrongly delivered take-a-way, a collector for the blind and a locum doctor who'd wrongly transposed the house number + I'll raise you a Midwife who'd got the wrong street altogether.

[mr.ton]

HHave you seen on BBC the Least Wanted LIST?

 

All the people that the gubbimint want to keep out.

 

 

EXCLUSIONS

Abdullah Qadri Al Ahdal

Yunis Al Astal

Samir Al Quntar

Stephen Donald Black

Wadgy Abd El Hamied Mohamed Ghoneim

Erich Gliebe

Mike Guzovsky

Safwat Hijazi

Nasr Javed

Abdul Ali Musa

Fred Waldron Phelps Snr

Shirley Phelps-Roper

Artur Ryno

Amir Siddique

Pavel Skachevsky

Michael Alan Weiner

 

Ellie Renshaw

 

Any other suggestions?

 

GK

 

The Phelps-Roper family ban is a deserved one....what vile freaks of nature that lot are

[spiritgirl59]

Ellie Renshaw

 

roflmao - she and I were bosom buddies a few months back - she wrote to me with regularly with her bullsh*t and I wrote back regularly and quoted great chunks of the CCA at her

:lol:

 

...but then she got fed up with me and sent me off to Lowells :oops:

 

Samantha Swallow

 

 

I have had lots of letters from young Samantha pmsl - who is of course from Lowells - the latest little gem I posted about today - I think she is being potty trained (have a peek @ post #29 - all will be revealed)

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/debt-collection-industry/129521-spiritgirl-fredrickson-international-2.html

 

Love SG x

[babybear39]

Going off topic sorry but I'm fed up of spotty youths telling me I'm paying too much for my utilities It seems like there are at least 1 a week

[Fred Bassett]

Going off topic sorry but I'm fed up of spotty youths telling me I'm paying too much for my utilities It seems like there are at least 1 a week

 

Especially when they don't know how much you pay. I had a call once from Toucan Telecom. First thing they said was "How much do you pay for your telephone service". I answered "None of your business". The woman then said, "but I could save you money!!!".

 

Not sure how, but there you go.

 

Regards.

 

Fred

[fuzzybobble]

Going off topic sorry but I'm fed up of spotty youths telling me I'm paying too much for my utilities It seems like there are at least 1 a week

 

I had a classic a few days ago. Double glazing and doors here are under 5 years old. Still someone rings the bell and asks if I want double glazing. I inform them stiffling a laugh that I already had it. He then points upstairs, and asks, I could do you a good price on the upstairs windows. (upstairs are also double glazed but in dark wood finish.)

 

I said, "They're even newer than the downstairs ones."

 

He said, "Your front door has gone yellow with age, I can do you a good price on a new door." (the door is actually whiter than the washing on a soap powder advert.)

 

I said, "When it goes a yellow as Homer Simpons ass, then I will start worrying about replacing doors. By the way have you considered working for a debt collection company's call centre?"

 

He said, "No why?"

 

I said, "I think you would make more commission doing that, unless you start looking for houses with rotten, non double glazed windows."

 

Then I closed the door.

[cashins]

I said, "I think you would make more commission doing that, unless you start looking for houses with rotten, non double glazed windows."

 

 

Obviously this guy is not up to the mark.

 

They normally start rambling on about sofit boards, cladding and such like.

 

David

[Desperate Daniella]

I live in a conservation area. I cannot have anything other than wooden sash windows. My number is ex-directory, but obviously the previous owners had contacted them at some time. They rang on several occasions and I said Mr and Mrs X don't live here and I am not interested. They kept ringing, then finally:

 

Hello, I am calling from E Double Glazing to see if we can interest you in replacement windows (cost you virtually nothing, just give us a reference in your area, have people coming round your house to see them etc.)

 

Me: Do you do timber sash windows? (Knowing they don't.)

 

E: We do something that looks just like it.

 

Me: That was not my question. Do you do timber sash windows?

 

E: No, but it looks just the same.

 

Me: Thank you but no thanks. I need timber sash windows. Anyway, I

have a friend coming over so I need to go now as I am in the

middle of cooking. Goodbye.

 

Five Minutes later his Supervisor calls, obviously to demonstrate how to handle the customer's objections.

 

Her: Hello, I'm calling from E Double Glazing. I gather you told my

colleague you would like wooden sash windows but our UPVC ones

look just the same.

 

Me: I told him that I needed timber sash windows, nothing else, and

also that I was in the middle of cooking. Why have you called me

back and interrupted me again?

 

Her: Well I just thought you should know our windows look just the same.

 

Me. Can you please listen to what I am saying? I do not want your

windows, I will never want your windows, and I never want to hear

from you again.

 

And I didn't. I bet she had a red face in front of the trainee.

 

The moral of this story is not be keep being polite when they KEEP calling - just yell at them loudly the first time.

 

DD

[david1605red]

I

I said, "I think you would make more commission doing that, unless you start looking for houses with rotten, non double glazed windows."

I used to work for a well-known home improvements company, and you may be surpised to know that around 20% of our business came from replacing existing double glazed doors and windows, because the sealed units start leaking after 5-10 years on cheaply made kit.

 

There aren't many houses around now with rotten original windows, but fortunately there were opportunities to earn commission from roofline/guttering, conservatories, garage doors, driveways and kitchens.

 

Having said all that, I was glad to get out of that industry and get a proper job!

[ODC]

Even Lord Gnome is getting in on the act

 

 

[jobmid]

I have just seen a new promo video for a dca i know fuzzy will love this one Premiere Credit there an american dca and goes on about sharks well we all know what sharks dca's are.

[GamekeeperToPoacher]

Get the rods out Fuzzy looks like we can have some fun.

 

An American DCA! Pahh!!

 

They don't even know which side of the road to drive on - and before they start they should remember We had roads before They had a country.

 

GK

[clemma]

Fuzzy will do a good job on them.....haven't seen him on here for a couple of days though. Obviously found sommat better to do with his time

[Spamalot]

Fuzzy will do a good job on them.....haven't seen him on here for a couple of days though. Obviously found sommat better to do with his time

 

 

Yeah...where is Fuzzy? You don't think Uncle Bob's done nasty things to him do you?

Perhaps he's sent the bailffs round to take possession of his bobbles!!!:eek:

[Fred Bassett]

Yeah...where is Fuzzy? You don't think Uncle Bob's done nasty things to him do you?

Perhaps he's sent the bailffs round to take possession of his bobbles!!!:eek:

 

Maybe he's in luurrvv.

 

Fred

[mr.ton]

Yeah Fuzzy is busy getting stuck into other things at the moment

[kurvaface]

nice

[welshwizard]

I heard fuzzy's been shaved!!

[mr.ton]

Its not only Fuzzy thats been shaved (allegedly )

[Spamalot]

NO! NO! Not his bobbles:(...they were so cute...

[summanotre]

Has anyone tried using a different language? I have an Italian surname but I speak very poor Italian but middle of last year I had to deal with Westcott. They used to ring every night right up until midnight. I always let the answerphone get it but one night I was really p*****d off with it all. So I decided to answer it:

 

Me: Pronto

WC: Is Miss C*********** there?

Me: Chieda Scusa? (because they could not pronounce my surname)

WC: Pardon? Im sorry I dont understand you. Is there somone there who speaks english? (in an increasingly loud voice)

Me: Mi Dispiace, ma non lei capire. C'e una persone chi parla Italiano? (In an increasingly loud voice)

WC: I N - O U - N - D - E - R- S - T - A - N - D. S - P - E - A - K E - N - G - L - S - H ?? (by this time VERY loud and VERY slow voice)

Me: N - O - N L - E - I C - A - P - I - R - E. (as above)

WC: W - E W - L - L W - R - I - T - E T - O Y - O - U. U - N - D - E - R - S - T - A - N - D???

Me: Qui est lei? Forse lei e pervitio??? Fa fangula!! (hangs up)(not sure if I spelt the last bit properly).

 

I subsequently received a letter and replied to it in italian. They havent bothered getting back to me as the cost of a translator was almost as much as the debt. Anyone fluent in italian can see how bad my italian is, but it was still enough to bamboozle them. I also gave them a false address in Campobasso, Italy. I dont even know it is a real one!

 

I have used the same tactic for another company, using very, very bad ancient latin. Same response as above.

 

And for those of you who do not understand italian (at least my one) I basically answered all their questions with the same question in italian, the only exception is the last quote where I say that 'perhaps they are a pervert' and to 'f**k off' before hanging up.

 

Wonder what language I should use next? my really bad french or german - or perhaps my terrible, terrible Mandarin???

 

This site is usefull for ideas about how to deal with DCA's and they can help you get a yac number and use the address of an empty property. One of the guys who runs the site is a solicitor!

 

http://www.wessex.me.uk/****stirrers.html

 

Ta all!!!

[cerberusalert]

The only language a DCA understands is "double-dutch" they speak it fluently & it's the only one they use in their correspondence.

[clemma]

Yeah Fuzzy is busy getting stuck into other things at the moment

 

I heard fuzzy's been shaved!!

 

Its not only Fuzzy thats been shaved (allegedly )

 

I come back on after a few days away :eek: - is this what happens when the men are left to play

[summanotre]

The only language a DCA understands is "double-dutch" they speak it fluently & it's the only one they use in their correspondence.

 

 

Indeed which is why I wont learn it

 

Perhaps next time I'll write quoting italian consumer laws to them - in italian of course or stick in any other bits 'n' bobs of a foreign language that i glean from some language site! Maybe a bit of esperanto (is that how its spelt?)