I have my own DoorSteop Collection Notice !!

[harrassed senior]

Well, letter dated 8th April arrived today giving me 7 days to pay (Tomorrow) or I will get my very own ScotCall Doorstepper!

 

I have made sure that my doorstep has been well scrubbed and polished and is eagerly awaiting it's very own Call.

 

Now the only decision left to make is which letter shall I send, I had already CCA'd BCW with only a few non-descript documents received in return. So I guess the 'bemused' letter and for good measure the harrassment on the door step letter.

 

I got quite excited this morning when I received this as it has been very quiet of late:p

[Toulose LeDebt]

Wayhey!! sounds like you're going to get a chance to sit down drink tea and eat a whole packet of chocolate hobnobs on your own tomorrow.

 

Trust you'll be leaving the customary 'perilously balanced bucket of cold water which might topple off at any moment' in position on the upstairs window cill overnight HS I've noticed the evenings have gone a bit nippy.

[harrassed senior]

To balance it better, I could fill it with ice cubes !

[Undercover-Elsa]

But how will you manage without your doorstep, if they collect it?

[Gary29]

To balance it better, I could fill it with ice cubes !

 

I find that boiling oil has greater stability.

[harrassed senior]

Hmm - with or without feathers?

 

My doorstep and I have had a long relationship, but I will teach it a few rude words before it goes:D

[fuzzybobble]

Scottcall trained field agents. They like Jaffa Cakes. Strong tea, 2 sugars and just a splash of milk.

 

Well that's what they would have got if they had turned up. Oh, as well as leaving with the exact same amount of money as they arrived with.

[Gary29]

Scottcall trained field agents. They like Jaffa Cakes. Strong tea, 2 sugars and just a splash of milk.

 

Well that's what they would have got if they had turned up. Oh, as well as leaving with the exact same amount of money as they arrived with.

 

Stuff that fuzzy, I'd charge them for the refreshments.

 

Especially if they're getting Jaffa Cakes.

[harrassed senior]

Oh, dear I have already done the weekly shop and as always have already eaten alll the Jaffa Cakes:p

[fuzzybobble]

Oh, dear I have already done the weekly shop and as always have already eaten alll the Jaffa Cakes:p

 

It's ok, you'll still have all the Jaffa Cakes you need for a doorstep visit from a DCA.

 

I'm hoping for a Moorcroft visit any day now. (they do send old peeps out sometimes to do their dirty work for them.)

 

I have video camera all set up and ready to roll at 8 seconds notice.

 

So far I have footage off the Window cleaner, Parcel Force delivery guy, and 2 Jehovas Witnesses. But I will get me a DCA field agent one day.

[welshwizard]

This thread is interesting.... is this a new pass time like train spotting? Do doorstep collectors note the height, depth and material the doorstep is made of? Do they have a special book with all the different doorstep types available in the Uk? DO they go abroad to colect door steps from other countries - if so, do they have a special register to record them in? Do they get bonus points for particularly shiny or clean door steps? Do they photograph really pretty door steps? Do they also have expert knowledge on door step construciton, maintenance and useage that they coudl pass on to the less fortunate among us who either don't know the delights of collecting them or (more likely) couldn't care less.

 

Any thoughts, ideas and pictures appreciated....

 

Here's my door step for a start:

 

 

I just found out that there are chimney pot spotters - BBc's The One Show tonight! - so there could well be door step collectors as well

Edited April 14, 2009 by welshwizard

[Toulose LeDebt]

Well: did they come HS?

[harrassed senior]

NO - but (see other Nationwide thread) I had to go out and cause a scene in my Nationwide branch, what a shame - My door step is still in tack - all prettily painted in red with decorative pots either side.

 

No abusive notes posted through my shining letterbox either.

 

I am feeling very rejected!!

[Rooster-UK]

Send them a photograph of your doorstep to show them what they've missed.

[lilly white]

Field Agents

 

What Is That To Give Them Some Dark Spirit They Are Agents Of The Fields.

 

Quit Uplifting Like Straw Men/woman Pagen Dark.

 

We Are Agents Of The Fields I Think A Letter Could Well Go To Them For A Full Explanation What Are Your Serects ,your Powers.

 

Good God

 

As Always Lilly

[vjohn82]

Whenever I have them come to my door I ask them if they have a friend in Jesus... usually keeping a copy of some Jehovah's Witness paraphernalia does the trick to help proceedings along ;-)

[Rooster-UK]

Oh, hello! Am I glad to see you.

Do you know how to get blood out of a carpet.... Goat's blood?

What about human blood?

 

...........Exit DCA, without the doorstep.

[mr.ton]

Maybe we can start a new trend on CAG of sending DCA's photographs of doorsteps with the caption "here's what you can expect when you come to collect it"

[welshwizard]

Why don't we all post huge flat stones to them teling they are true copies of our doorsteps? It may cost us a few quid each but wouldn't the result be funny to video and put on YouTube...

[Helios]

Lucky person to have a doorstep collector visit

 

I'm hoping for a Moorcroft visit any day now. (they do send old peeps out sometimes to do their dirty work for them.)

 

i'm still waiting for a visit from one of their field collectors, keep threatening to send one

[izzitme101]

jaffa cakes! you cant give them to a doorstep collector!

theyr worth 5 quid each easily

[lilly white]

O No Not The Field Collectors

 

We Are The Collectors Of Fields We Sent One Of Our Doorstep Colletors And They Returned With What We Are Led To Belive Is A Unsigned Doorstep.

 

It Just Gets Better We Are Not A Dca

 

We Are Collectors Of Doorsteps

[lilly white]

Well The Great And The Good And I Belive We Will Have Bring

 

The Letter Writers

 

In Regards To Your Companys Visit I Demand That They Return

My Doorstep And Field If Not I Will Report You And Any One You Are Aware Of That You Have Stolen My Property And Yes This Will Maybe End In Court And You Could Well Poss Etc,

[Rooster-UK]

I'm sorry about the broken leg that your field collector sustained while visiting my property.

This was due to the fact that my doorstep had been collected by your previous agent. Unfortunately, when he took it, he left a deep hole behind.

Under the Health & Safety regulations you have a duty of care to ensure that your staff are properly trained in the procedures involved in negotiating missing doorsteps.

I have retrieved his shoe from the hole and will be sending it in a seperate package (without a stamp).

Alternatively, he can come and collect it, personally, when his leg has healed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You nevr know, we might get the other leg, this time.

[summerbreeze]

Lets go back to the ' Olden days '

 

Just shout ' Guard du l'eau ' and chuck the contents of the potty out of the bedrooom window