A bit O/T for this board but I need advice please.

[1stlifeline]

I know this is not the place for such queries but I dont know who to ask as I cant afford any more solicitors fees and Im really upset.

I have been fighting a court case to get access to my son. I have finally won the case and been granted parental responsibility. Today I have discovered that my sons mother has changed his surname to that of her new husband. I know that she could not do this without my consent now the parental responsinility has been granted but she will have done this prior to me getting it. Have I got any rights here, can I have the name changed back to mine?

 

Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks

[IdaInFife]

I am not completly sure but I do believe you would have need to give consent unless you signed a document before . My friend had problems with her childs father who wanted to take their daughter to America but my friend refused. Next thing her daughter had a passport without her knowledge so she went to a lawyer but it turned out she has signed something years ago that gave the father rights to do this. I can't remember what it was called tho. It may be along the same lines but soneone with a much greater knowlegde than mine will be along soon and hopefully guide you in the right direction.

 

Idax

[1stlifeline]

Thank you for the reply. I know from reading on a website that once parental responsibility is granted that neither parent can change a name without the others consent. However the order was only granted after the name change. It wasnt even mentioned during the court proceedings, its been done in a very underhand way and I want it changing back. I want my son to carry my name. If I had married his mother then she would have needed my consent but because we never married I had no legal right until I got the parental responsibility order.

[IdaInFife]

I was just reading up on deed pole forums etc and I think it's bad news. because you weren't married no authorization was needed by you as you know. I thinkg the only way now is by changing by deed pole. I think the only way is getting you son's mum consent. If your son is old enough to understand and wants your surname may be a start and can persuade his mum or maybe something that may have to go court.

 

I hope all goes well for you tho

 

idax

[1stlifeline]

Thanks Ida but thats the problem. His mum has done it without my consent. IF I had gor the parental resposibility order sooner she couldnt have done it without my consent. What I am trying to find out is if I can now object and have it changed back Obviosly his mother isnt going to just agree to that but Im furious that she has done it behind my back in an underhand way. She has tried all ways to drive a wedge between us and this feels like the last straw.

[midge61]

Hi

 

I seem to remember when I looked into changing my daughters name by deed poll I was told that you could ask to be known by any name you wished but all official documents will have to remain in your birth name.

This was 15 years ago so I'm not sure if it's still the same but I would think it is as only adoption or marriage can be official name changes.

[1stlifeline]

The thing is that an adult can make the decision to change a name. In this case the mother has done it out of spite. As she said, shewants to remove all trace of his father from his life. She will not suceed but she is ebbing away bit by bit.

[monopoly23]

My fiancee has a child with his ex, and she too changed their daughters surname, also out of spite, to the same as hers. I would have thought that both parents should have a say in it.

 

She's a real nutjob too, I won't go into it here, but Im sure when their daughter is old enough to understand everything thats happened, not just the drivel her heads probably been filled with, she'll probably want to change her name back herself.

 

If there's no way you will get the mother's consent, maybe you'll just have to wait until he can change it himself.

[bluedog2]

Hi.. 1stlifeline

I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your ex.

 

I wanted (and my daughter too) to change her name to my new one after divorcing her Father. I changed my name by Deed Poll but decided to wait until she was 16 and if she still wanted to change it we would.

You haven't said how old your son is...??

I have put a link on for you to look at which should give more details on ages and consent etc.

Name Change by Deed Poll - Can I change my children's name by Deed Poll?

 

Did you sign any papers ? And check/read through them...? Maybe you signed an agreement amongst a lot of paperwork???

 

As far as I know she is not allowed to change his name without your consent.

Change of name

 

I do hope this helps... It seems there isn't a lot you can do unless maybe you want to take this to court... and as you stated in your letter you can no longer afford to pay Solicitors fees etc...

bluedog..

Sorry I couldnt be of more help

[Rooster-UK]

Try the CAB for advice.

[Batfink]

How old is your son? Could it have been his choice to have the same name as his mother?

[anabel]

Well done for wanting to keep your son in your life.....

 

ok next step...dont know where you live but where i am the solicitors have free clinics normally on saturday mornings.

I would make an appointment, take any paperwork you have and see what they say.

 

Good luck and keep us updated

[Isiris]

My wife had a daughter by someone else when we met. He has never had any contact with her and my daughters name was the same as my wifes maiden name.

 

When we married, we went to a notary public provided us with a document that said my daughters name was now mine.

 

Her passport is in my name and school docs, NHS etc etc are all in mine even though her Birth Cert says my wifes maiden name

[ICY]

Forum Index - Parent-Forum - Powered by FusionBB is a good website full of other parents (Obviously lol) there is some really good advice over there.

[Monty2007]

The thing is that an adult can make the decision to change a name. In this case the mother has done it out of spite. As she said, shewants to remove all trace of his father from his life. She will not suceed but she is ebbing away bit by bit.

 

I can't offer a legal opinion but would suggest you take good legal advice and possible court action to ensure that you maintain access to your son, a friend of mine who is a legal partner is going through the same as you. The law favors the mother and does takes sides in these cases, the fight is tough but you have to go for it!

 

Best of luck to you. Let us know how you get on.