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The 2010 f***ball and SPORTS free zone


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Osama bin laden has just appeared in a new tv message proving he is still alive. He said the English football team was sh*t on friday,

 

British Intelligence have dismissed the message stating that it could have been recorded any time in the last 40 years

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Its cold outside ......

 

 

50°F

People in Southern England turn on the central heating

People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

 

40°F

Southerners shiver uncontrollably

Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

 

35°F

Cars in the South of England refuse to start

People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

 

20°F

Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats

Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

 

15°F

Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent

People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

 

0°F

Life in the South grinds to a halt

Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

 

-10°F

Life in the South ceases to exist

People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

 

-80°F

Polar bears wonder if it ' s worth carrying on

Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

 

-100°F

Santa Claus abandons North Pole

People in Stirling put on their ' long johns '

 

-173°F

Alcohol freezes

Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

 

-297°F

Microbial life starts to disappear

The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

 

-460°F

All atomic motion stops

Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

 

-500°F

Hell freezes over...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Scotland will support England in the World cup

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I cant mention what Mrs Kip is watching right now :mad:

 

but we have some silly white flags with a red cross on them hanging out of most the bloddy windows @ the moment :eek:

 

if they loose I think she wants to all 11 of them :D

 

dont think its safe to go in the lounge at the moment :roll:

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Plus 1104 visitors not watching either!!!!

Keep up the fight against Bank Charges.

 

 

Got Debt problems?

Don't panic, put the kettle on and read this

 

:-) Everything I write comes from my heart and head! The large filling cabinet that is my knowledge of life, however warped that may be!! :-)

 

<<< Please tickle my star!! if I have managed to help you or just made you chuckle!

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Most Caggers can multitask (especially the females), and can watch TV and still CAG online at the same time.;)

 

Most people forgot to pick their kids up from school today:eek:.

 

 

If all else fails, kick them where it hurts and SOD'EM;)

 

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Balls. Literally. It's got to go on for longer, can't even trust the feckers to screw up properly. :mad:

 

 

Put them in charge of the country with the ConDems. They are bound to screw up then;).

 

Isn't it a good job that playing football for England does not come under the Public Sector. Otherwise the players would be on strike now:p.

 

 

If all else fails, kick them where it hurts and SOD'EM;)

 

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This World Cup has turned out like WW2.

The French surrendered early, the USA arrive last minute and we are left to fight the effing Germans!!!!

Keep up the fight against Bank Charges.

 

 

Got Debt problems?

Don't panic, put the kettle on and read this

 

:-) Everything I write comes from my heart and head! The large filling cabinet that is my knowledge of life, however warped that may be!! :-)

 

<<< Please tickle my star!! if I have managed to help you or just made you chuckle!

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It's nothing like WW2. WW2 had a purpose, and it was to free people, not to enslave them to a spurious god. :rolleyes:

Is their any other type of god?

If in doubt, contact a qualified insured legal professional (or my wife... she knows EVERYTHING)

 

Or send a cheque or postal order payable to Reclaim the Right Ltd.

to

923 Finchley Road London NW11 7PE

 

 

Click here if you fancy an email address that shows you mean business! (only £6 and that will really help CAG)

 

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Apparently somebody said to some bloke called Rooney that he would be on for 45 minutes and that he would be pulled off at half time, to which he replied "That's good, we only get an orange at Manchester United".

Before you criticise another man you should first walk a mile in his shoes. Then, when you criticise him, you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes on.

 

Don't get me confused with somebody knowledgeable by all those green blobs. I got most of them by making people laugh.

 

I am not European, I am English.

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