Me and My debts and mental health issues **£28k Written off thanks to CAG**

[jellycubes]

I feel so warmed after signing in and seeing all the lovely posts... Im so lucky to have this fabulous support here, its easy to feel like your an alien when the reality is that so many have been where im at now and some far worse, god im about to do a gwenyth paltrow... i ll stop there and spare you that one. Today i feel ready to text the collectors tomorow and let them know dmp. I can t risk a no zone again and tingy im like you, blinds shut, get heart hammers when a shadow passes. I even sleep with the light on.... But one things for sure my hope is here, so dont give up on me ... im going to donate 5 pounds next week to the site because without it id have no support and on the edge without food. As you say matt everythings below lol x

[matt5983]

I feel so warmed after signing in and seeing all the lovely posts... Im so lucky to have this fabulous support here, its easy to feel like your an alien when the reality is that so many have been where im at now and some far worse, god im about to do a gwenyth paltrow... i ll stop there and spare you that one. Today i feel ready to text the collectors tomorow and let them know dmp. I can t risk a no zone again and tingy im like you, blinds shut, get heart hammers when a shadow passes. I even sleep with the light on.... But one things for sure my hope is here, so dont give up on me ... im going to donate 5 pounds next week to the site because without it id have no support and on the edge without food. As you say matt everythings below lol x

 

Im glad you feeling better, what do you mean when you said about texting collectors?

[Guest jsa12]

Valium is a short term drug as its addictive,the problem with anti depressants is the unknown side affects that can occur when starting treatment these can be be quite bad blackouts,shakes and sweats they can lead to weight gain also.

 

my gp has been trying to get me to stop taking them i have been on them now for years.

[matt5983]

Hey Jellcubes,

 

Thought i'd check in and see how your doing and making sure your ok

[victoria_siempre]

Echo that Matt

 

There are always folk around here.

 

love

 

vic

[jellycubes]

Hi all, blinds still shut.. long road to recovery. The shoppa women has not long left my door,

i hid under a rug in the front room even though the blinds are shut.

 

 

I was going to text the doorstep collectors ie prov and shoppa man and lady direct but i didnt but it looks like i ll have to.

 

 

Cant go one like this.

 

 

The drugs im on are trazadone, duloxetine and valium...... its all a haze but jesus its helping.

 

 

The upside is ive got 60 pounds for food and school hoildays till next thurs,

so with empty cuboards i should be able to make some nice times for my boy.

 

 

Payplan called me today for a review but i told them no and they were good about it.

They want me to write to all of the creditors explaining my breakdown...

yeah like im upto that right now..

.. another job that can go on the back burner, just not upto it.

 

 

Hey thanks all for posting, i got a bit worried about people thinking im a moaner or getting bored so stayed away a day or two..

stupid i know as this support is just what i need right now.

 

 

Now will prov man turn up ?..

.not hiding in my bed again like last week but i guess i should pull myself together and just text them...

[matt5983]

Hi all, blinds still shut.. long road to recovery. The shoppa women has not long left my door, i hid under a rug in the front room even though the blinds are shut. I was going to text the doorstep collectors ie prov and shoppa man and lady direct but i didnt but it looks like i ll have to. Cant go one like this. The drugs im on are trazadone, duloxetine and valium...... its all a haze but jesus its helping. The upside is ive got 60 pounds for food and school hoildays till next thurs, so with empty cuboards i should be able to make some nice times for my boy. Payplan called me today for a review but i told them no and they were good about it. They want me to write to all of the creditors explaining my breakdown... yeah like im upto that right now.... another job that can go on the back burner, just not upto it. Hey thanks all for posting, i got a bit worried about people thinking im a moaner or getting bored so stayed away a day or two.. stupid i know as this support is just what i need right now. Now will prov man turn up ?...not hiding in my bed again like last week but i guess i should pull myself together and just text them...

 

Hi Jellycubes,

 

Please do not worry about he doorstop collectors, did Tingy manage to write those letters for you and get them sent to them?, If not, just say and i'll do it for you. I know it must be really hard to wirte down your illness, my wife just couldnt do it either, so pm me symptoms, conditions and how and why it started and i'll type them and send them off if you want me to.

Jellycubes, you are NOT a moaner and must not think of such, tingy did say it does go quiet on here at times, so do not worry. Were all in this to help.

 

If they knock on your door again, just shout "go away and i'll be writing letters of complaints" that will make you eel better when you shout at them lol.

 

Try and open the blinds in another room like the kitchen or bedroom bathroom etc, i know its really difficult for you but were sure you can do it, my wife was exactly the same and even begged me to help her go ! (if you know what i mean).

So must of us have been in this position before and know how to help.

[jellycubes]

Well i opened the bathroom blind....so far so good. Thank you matt, tingy is sorting the cca requests when i can get my butt into gear, everything seems like a bloody mountain for me at the moment..... but your offer to print those medical notes would be a massive help. Ive shown my dirty laundry so im going to be brave and post up here just how and why i had a breakdown.

 

Childhood... Beaten black and blue, eating out of bins for food, removed by social services after being knifed in the head by mother. Burned with cigarettes, etc. Subjected to sexual and physical abuse in the childrens homes. I could write a book but will expand when ready to reveal more ghosts of that part of my life.

 

Teenager ..... Into the wrong hands of a man that was violent.... was told i could live with his family... was a lie and had to stay in a house with his uncle and was not allowed out and had to cook and clean. Beaten black and blue here too.

Mental hopsital for 18 months when i tried to kill myself. Left there and met a guy, after 2 weeks he punched me in the back of the head and i was found lying in the snow by a member of the public.

 

 

Adult..... severe depression, met the love of my life who loved me for me, i left him... why i dont know...its haunted me since and part of my breakdown. Met a new guy he treated me like ****, lived a double life and when i caught him out he played so many games with my head he destroyed all the confidence i had gained within throughout the years i spent wth the love of my life. He also ripped me off for thousands.... i was stupid enough to believe that stories from him.

Not seen dad in 27 years.... mums a no go..... I also have many dark ghosts but not ready to share them yet, but will do i promise.

 

How do I feel.... awful, degraded, haunted, angry within, ugly, at times been suicidal but not now as i write. Unable to get out of bed, constantly tired, not looking after myself, fear, frightened, stressed, lost.

 

Thats enough for now, its very brief and missing bloody loads but i feel a little lighter for it if that makes sense. Not hiding and only giving you all a part regarding debt, its deeper, it has been for many of us x

[matt5983]

Well i opened the bathroom blind....so far so good. Thank you matt, tingy is sorting the cca requests when i can get my butt into gear, everything seems like a bloody mountain for me at the moment..... but your offer to print those medical notes would be a massive help. Ive shown my dirty laundry so im going to be brave and post up here just how and why i had a breakdown.

 

Childhood... Beaten black and blue, eating out of bins for food, removed by social services after being knifed in the head by mother. Burned with cigarettes, etc. Subjected to sexual and physical abuse in the childrens homes. I could write a book but will expand when ready to reveal more ghosts of that part of my life.

 

Teenager ..... Into the wrong hands of a man that was violent.... was told i could live with his family... was a lie and had to stay in a house with his uncle and was not allowed out and had to cook and clean. Beaten black and blue here too.

Mental hopsital for 18 months when i tried to kill myself. Left there and met a guy, after 2 weeks he punched me in the back of the head and i was found lying in the snow by a member of the public.

 

 

Adult..... severe depression, met the love of my life who loved me for me, i left him... why i dont know...its haunted me since and part of my breakdown. Met a new guy he treated me like ****, lived a double life and when i caught him out he played so many games with my head he destroyed all the confidence i had gained within throughout the years i spent wth the love of my life. He also ripped me off for thousands.... i was stupid enough to believe that stories from him.

Not seen dad in 27 years.... mums a no go..... I also have many dark ghosts but not ready to share them yet, but will do i promise.

 

How do I feel.... awful, degraded, haunted, angry within, ugly, at times been suicidal but not now as i write. Unable to get out of bed, constantly tired, not looking after myself, fear, frightened, stressed, lost.

 

Thats enough for now, its very brief and missing bloody loads but i feel a little lighter for it if that makes sense. Not hiding and only giving you all a part regarding debt, its deeper, it has been for many of us x

 

Ill get onto those tonight or tomorrow, you done really well in saying what you have been through, so a major pat on the back is deserved. I'm chuffed with the bathroom blind, small steps and all ! See, were getting there. You dont need to say anymore about what you have been through, got a picture, but if it helps to release it, then by all means do.

Only tingy knows what my wife through, so he knows why i fought and am still fighting a leading bank so hard lol

[jellycubes]

Thank you for the kind words matt, worried if id said too much after i posted

[scottybhoy]

It's good to get things off your chest! Never regret anything in life! Chin up, smile and get stuck in to those roast beef dinners! Man, am I dying for one of them!

[matt5983]

Jellycubes,

 

I started with those letter, but im going to wait for Tingy to come back as i might have a different way of doing it, just keep what your doing and look after that little boy of yours.

 

Has he got a computer?

[jellycubes]

Hi all, just had shopacrook at the door and i opened it...!!!!!!!!!!!!

told her about payplan,

she was ok and told me she is with cccs and that was that !!!! Yipppee

 

 

i faced the fear and to be fair she was lovely.

Just that agressive prov man next but not going to let that dampen my joy of finding some strength this morning.

 

 

Thank you scotty boy you made me laugh about that beef dinner.

 

 

Matt, we dont have a computer just a lap top but i am so thankful your on the case, you and many others are valued.

 

 

Tingy if you pick up I hope that you and your folks are ok and the suspence made me chuckle.

 

 

Thank you all the people that post here or just read.

Its laid bare at times but im not alone, that counts big time.

 

 

Son is downstaires with his friend, they had a sleep over and i got some of those sweets 3 for a pound for them for a midnight feast, they are laughing as i type.

[Dial Square]

Jellycubes, I've just read this thread all the way through and you've already come a long way. I just wanted to offer my support and let you know that I'm always willing to listen to anyone who just needs someone on the other end of a keyboard for a chat.

[baz1986]

Congratulations Jellycubes a massive massive step!!!!

[matt5983]

Hi all, just had shopacrook at the door and i opened it...!!!!!!!!!!!! told her about payplan, she was ok and told me she is with cccs and that was that !!!! Yipppee i faced the fear and to be fair she was lovely. Just that agressive prov man next but not going to let that dampen my joy of finding some strength this morning. Thank you scotty boy you made me laugh about that beef dinner. Matt, we dont have a computer just a lap top but i am so thankful your on the case, you and many others are valued. Tingy if you pick up I hope that you and your folks are ok and the suspence made me chuckle. Thank you all the people that post here or just read. Its laid bare at times but im not alone, that counts big time. Son is downstaires with his friend, they had a sleep over and i got some of those sweets 3 for a pound for them for a midnight feast, they are laughing as i type.

 

Well done you, very well done in fact !

 

Dont worry about the provy man, he might say something horrible, but theres NOTHING he can do.

Nothing better in this world then when hearing your kids laughing and enjoying themselves, it's a sound that lets you know your doing a good job.

I asked about the computer thinking he might have a games console, i had an idea but not to worry.

Good to hear your having a good day, keep it up lol

And we want another curtin open on monday lol, Tingy will be happy !

[jellycubes]

Wow seriously touched by the posts and the pm s. Had a little cry, but not for bad reasons, the support touches me. Well i got my butt into gear and emailed tingy the list of some of my oldest debts... i think he will be in shock that i managed it. Matt Ive let tingy know that you could have a copy of that email, i havent included the smaller debts but can do so. I feel exhausted and elated at the same time... small steps but much needed. Bathroom blind still open but rest still shut, going to try the back bedroom tom, the thought frightens me. I know that most people posting and sending pms have there own problems going on yet you give to others. Im not able to contribute to your posts or help others yet, but i do read and i thank you all for giving and helping me through x

[matt5983]

Wow seriously touched by the posts and the pm s. Had a little cry, but not for bad reasons, the support touches me. Well i got my butt into gear and emailed tingy the list of some of my oldest debts... i think he will be in shock that i managed it. Matt Ive let tingy know that you could have a copy of that email, i havent included the smaller debts but can do so. I feel exhausted and elated at the same time... small steps but much needed. Bathroom blind still open but rest still shut, going to try the back bedroom tom, the thought frightens me. I know that most people posting and sending pms have there own problems going on yet you give to others. Im not able to contribute to your posts or help others yet, but i do read and i thank you all for giving and helping me through x

ok brill, i'll have a chat with Tingy when hes back, like i said i have a couple of ideas and with his knowledge i think we could do ALOT of good, so we will see. So when hes back, if we had a list of all debts, send them to me and him by PM so then we know what we have to do.

Your starting to sound better, which is good. Sounds like theres a fire in your belly which is getting bigger.........your not alone in this so i know it must make you feel good etc.

Back bedroom would be good, just shows your getting there and it shows your son you getting better which will help him as well, don't worry about contributing, i didnt at first as i didnt understand what power normal folk have until CAG.

I have one battle left, which i hope will be over soon.......if not, then i will start a war with them and they dont want that lol.

[jellycubes]

Hi all, hope your all ok. I feel exhausted today, been in dressing gown and still in it ! I got my butt in gear and sent tingy the smaller ones. Does it makes sense that I felt unable to do that simple task but kicked my own butt and at least did it. My memory is dreadful at the moment, has anyone else thought its time for meds then 20 mins later wondering if you took them and not being able to recollect, and ideas on how to prevent this ? x

[Dial Square]

Hi jellycubes

I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back for sending the details to tingy. It's all about small steps.

How about getting a small notebook to write in when you've taken your meds. Is that something that may help?

[Undercover-Elsa]

Hi Jellycubes,

Have just been reading your story and have to say well done for tackling your problems so bravely. You've had great help so far.

There's little wonder you're forgetful as so many things will be whizzing round in your head at the moment, day and night..but that will get better as things come under control.

With regards to your medication, as DS says it's best to write it down.

I've attached a medication record sheet which you might find useful to print off, just fill in your meds then tick the box each time you've taken them. Stick it to the fridge! I've also put an example of one in use.

 

 

 

Hope you find it helpful (trust me, I'm a nurse! )

 

Also, have a read of my blog about debt, it will help you get your head round things and help you further to take control, link in my signature below...

 

kindest regards,

 

Elsa xx

Elsa's Med Manager.pdf

Medication Sheet Example2.pdf

Edited May 31, 2011 by Undercover-Elsa

[matt5983]

Hi all, hope your all ok. I feel exhausted today, been in dressing gown and still in it ! I got my butt in gear and sent tingy the smaller ones. Does it makes sense that I felt unable to do that simple task but kicked my own butt and at least did it. My memory is dreadful at the moment, has anyone else thought its time for meds then 20 mins later wondering if you took them and not being able to recollect, and ideas on how to prevent this ? x

 

You doing great jeelycubes, just waiting for Tingy to get back and we'll start sorting it. Ive just got in from work, yes its 9.15am and i started at 10pm last night, but one more night to go and then me and Tingy will start.........keep doing what your doing as your doing great.

With regards to the meds, there is a thing you can get from chemist which not only has days but also breakfest,lunch and tea wrote on them, there excellent for meds as long as you put them in the night before. If you want one and you dont feel like going out to get one just shout and i'll post one up to you.

[jellycubes]

Omgggggggggggggg...... just went out to the bin...in dressing gown looking like crap and the prov man was there !!!!!!!!!!! Hearts

[jellycubes]

Jesus my anxiety is on overload in my chest ! Was he out there waiting for me. He shouted out and my neighbours heard when i told him i was with payplan, he said he d never heard of them and shouted if we get no money in 10 weeks will could make you bankrupt, he was smoothing the walls of my house with his hands. I felt so ashamed, my boy is out playing but the neighbours heard. I said they would be getting a payment in next 3 days as payplan have my monthly payment last week. Sorry got to go and have a coffee and a tablet x

[minmoo]

Hi Jellycubes, i just wanted to pop in here and wish you well. This thread has highlighted the best and worst the human race has to offer. You are in good hands here and you WILL get through this. The strength you have shown to get this far in life is amazing and you should be proud of yourself! My wife suffers from depression and although that doesnt make me any more an expert than next doors dog i can say that everything you say about your daily life strikes a chord.

 

You are in good hands here Always remember that the people you owe money to will never be as important as you and your son! You must always put yourselves first.