Tilly V mortgage express repo

[**Tilly**]

if i keep disapearing it is because my connection is iffy

[**Tilly**]

sorry peeps dont mean to be rude i have got to go, just realised the time i

have got to pick my grandson up will be back on laters xxx

[MilkTrayMan]

But what are the TOTAL Arrears??...

 

There are financial thresholds to be met re: IVA/Bankruptcy.

 

The sooner U confront your TOTAL debt

...The sooner peeps will be able to offer U the appropriate advice.

 

Peeps are perhaps overloading U with conflicting well meant advice, cos even after 626 Posts, U don't seem to be helping them to help U.

 

Although U weren't actually present in Court when the Possession Order was made, U MUST have known approx what the arrears were + for how long the mortgage has NOT been fully paid??...

 

It is NOT important how U have got into this sorry state of financial chaos

...But what IS important, is to realise what U have to do to get out of it.

[40something]

When one person in a joint mortgage has sole responsibility for it (maybe through choice) and the other just 'assumes' everything is ok, it can mean that it was completely unknown. I am the 'guilty party' in my case and have always fought to try and sort the mess out myself and keep my wife unawares and hope I can get back on track.. but my time has now run out and I know I have been a complete fool and this could mean the end of everything... and I mean everything for me.. and I have to 'confess all' over the next few days and I can't bear it frankly. I think a lot of the cases we read about regarding husbands taking their lives with big debt problems is that they love their families so much they just cannot admit the failure and risk they have put them under and simply collapse mentally from the strain of taking all the burden themselves whilst acting that everything is 'OK'.... just touched a very 'active' nerve.. sorry

[Ell-enn]

40something I hope you are beginning to feel that you are not alone in your situation, I am sure if you have read around this forum you will see that there are many, many people experiencing the same thing.

 

You are not a fool by any means, and you are to be commended for trying to protect your wife from the worry and stress of your financial situation - it must have been incredibly difficult for you. I think you might find that she will have guessed there is something wrong and confessing all may not be as bad as you think.

 

At the end of the day the most important thing is that you take control of the situation - you will get as much help as we can possibly give and no-one will judge you. Please try to stay positive and look on this experience not as the end of everything but the start of your way out of the problem.

 

Please don't hesitate to ask questions or offload how you are feeling, there are plenty of members who can sympathise and support you.

 

Kind Regards

 

Ell-enn

[TideTurner]

40something,

 

The position you are in has been influenced by many things, not least current economic conditions and things that are out of your control. There are many people on this site who have buried their head, or ran away from problems, which, if they had faced and addressed them would not have escalated into a monstress.

 

Do you have your own thread? If not you should start one immediately and invite the people on this one to have a look at your current position. Be honest, and state your FULL position, so people can help. Remember that your identity will remain anonymous.

 

Tide

[TideTurner]

Sorry Ell, didn't see your post

[40something]

Thank you so much

[Ell-enn]

No problem Tide, I'm sure your support is appreciated - we can all help:)

[Ell-enn]

Thank you so much

 

You're very welcome - keep posting on your thread and we'll do what we can.

 

Stay positive, you will get through this.

 

Kind Regards

 

Ell-enn

[Bona]

OK Tilly

As there are just the two of you could you make room for a lodger and rent just a thought when the market is like it is and was in the 90's when we also had trouble if you can show you can cover payments your contribution pluss lodger then they are very reluctant to reposess but will give you say 6 months breathing may be the same know just a thought worth looking at Things will get better the govermwnt cant afford for the whole house of cards to collapse you just have to hang on in htere

[caro]

I think it is necessary to have a full picture of the situation in order to be able to provide the best advice possible. Without an understanding of the bigger picture it is extremely hard to know the best way for Tilly to move on, not just in terms of where to live, but to try and resolve all her financial problems as she hopefully puts this whole nightmare behind her. If the financial crippling can be tackled effectively, the emotional scars can start to heal too.

[**Tilly**]

Before i start i will apologise now if i sound rude .

 

Okay first of i will answer the question you are all wondering what happened to the win from halifax, firstly i paid some debts second i helped my kids out and put some away for my daughter,i wouldnt call that irresponsible, yes i spent some, as im sure you all would have done the same, the rest i put aside for mortgage bills etc or so i thought.really sorry if this sounds harsh or rude now, im hurting and im angry to be let down by some i trusted for 30 years.

 

the arrears are from nov uptil now, i have no other debts other than the 75.00 lowell are trying to chase me for which there is a thread in debt forum, so the arrears stand at £ 8.700 to date minus what i have paid. Now i have to go my mum

is ill and i need to be there. once again i apologise if i sounded rude i really didnt mean to be.

 

Tilly xx

 

 

[caro]

Tilly, you have no need to explain yourself or your debts, and you don't sound in the slightest bit rude. We all have them and the important thing is how we deal with them.

 

Hope your Mum is better soon, and please remember that everyone is on your side or they wouldn't bother trying to help you. Keep your chin up.

[honey5]

Before i start i will apologise now if i sound rude .

 

Okay first of i will answer the question you are all wondering what happened to the win from halifax, firstly i paid some debts second i helped my kids out and put some away for my daughter,i wouldnt call that irresponsible, yes i spent some, as im sure you all would have done the same, the rest i put aside for mortgage bills etc or so i thought.really sorry if this sounds harsh or rude now, im hurting and im angry to be let down by some i trusted for 30 years.

 

the arrears are from nov uptil now, i have no other debts other than the 75.00 lowell are trying to chase me for which there is a thread in debt forum, so the arrears stand at £ 8.700 to date minus what i have paid. Now i have to go my mum

is ill and i need to be there. once again i apologise if i sounded rude i really didnt mean to be.

 

Tilly xx

 

 

 

you dont sound in the least rude

financial advice is one thing, emotional support when youre at your lowest ebb is something else. Youre going thru two of the most stressful things anyone faces in life

It makes it worse to think that someone you have confided in and looked too for 30yr has let you down, in more ways than one.

Youve kept your chin up thus far now hold your head high girl

Hope your mum is well soon xxx

tracy x

[caro]

Onwards and upwards Tills. {{{{hugs}}}}

[**Tilly**]

Onwards and upwards and best foot forward as they say,

 

{{{{{{{{ hugs}}}}}}}}} caro and honey xxxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ps peeps its soooo good to have you on my side

[Bona]

Hi Tilly

 

Its Hard everyone thinks they know best but no one except you knows it all you make decisions you think are right at the time and if others dont who cares I feel if only people would listen I could put the worlds to right , but they dont, everyone has an opinion and most are trying to help All I can say is Ive been there and got the sticker hang in girl all is not lost you have enough on your plate take each day at a time your arreas are a lot more than some and a lot less than others ,keep strong and take one day at a time and S*d the B******ds you may not win ( you will if I have anything to do with it)but you will be allright

 

Take care

Luv

Bona xxxx

[**Tilly**]

Thankyou Bona {{{{{hugs}}}}

 

I know i threw my toys out of the pram earlier

 

But guys i really do appreciate you all

Edited June 6, 2008 by **Tilly**

[Ell-enn]

Tills, whatever the outcome of all this you will come out the other side with a sigh of relief - because you won't have to wonder every day what is going to happen..... As we discussed before - you need to decide what you want for the future and then work towards making that happen.

 

Someone once told me "A house is only a home if you are happy in it - and the amount of happiness is not relative to the size or value of the house"

 

You know we're all with you and will support whatever path you take.

 

Stay positive hun.

 

Ell x

[stonedecroze]

I see you are back on top of it again Tills, in spite of all the conflicting advice. Everybody is trying to help in their own way. I can offer only 2 pieces of advice, both were given to me whilst I was studying on a management course. One from a uni professor " Any decision you make is the correct one at the time. If things don`t work out as expected, then make another decision to change things"" . The other from an American Management guru " It gets worse". I have found these to be the best advice that I have ever been given. So take your time girl, and do whatever you think is best for YOU. :D

[kia]

right tills so sorry ive lost a grip of your thread but ive caught up know alot of advice and head spinning time i can see my advice would be to go with your gut instinct its always been my guide and ignore the bad stuff (know what i mean )sorry to hear about your marrigage too all i can say is the only way is up now and its his loss not yours your the most kindest warmest people i know keep your chin up where all here for u :)xxkia

[**Tilly**]

Ell Stone & Kia

 

Mwahhhhhh xxxx

 

They way i see it, i have 2 choices, i go when i get the eviction order and start putting our lives back on track or prolong it and put in the n244, which my gut

feeling there is the judge is not going to have any of it,and say oiiiii mrs nooo

out

 

I think my mind will be made up when i receive the eviction order.

either way i will be clobbered for the shortfall

[Bona]

Ok with that decision but you may not be if they do not let you try ie ask to put in a lodge ect to help pay they will probally so no you can then alway say that you tried and they didnt help so you shouldnt have to pay all the shortfall

get my drift

[TideTurner]

Hi Tills,

 

I am assuming that ME are gearing up for eviction, and you are simply waiting for that to happen prior to being able to receive any help from the Council.

 

If you apply for a stay they will not be able to proceed until it is allowed or disallowed.

 

As it stands, the house has not been sold. They cannot therefore make any claim for a shortfall until they know what the shortfall is (sale price minus outstanding balance).

 

They must then go back to Court and obtain a monetary judgement against you (they cannot simply claim that you owe x amount and must show what efforts were made to obtain the best possible price for the property).

 

Can I suggest the following: -

 

Plan A.

 

1. Make an application for a stay on the grounds that you are a co-owner and had no knowledge of the original hearing (this will buy time).

 

2. Pursue the Estate Agents vigorously regarding the sale (at the very least you will have an up to date valuation - very useful later if they come at you for a shortfall).

 

3. Inform the Council BY LETTER that you are effectively homeless and wish to be included on the housing list (date stamp the letter, which can be used at a later date).

 

4. Explore the possibility of renting with agents. This could provide an additional income and would show the Court that you could meet repayments, but there may be a clause in your mortgage which does not allow sub-letting without ME's agreement. ME must state their reasons for not allowing this.

 

5. Keep the N244 up to date.

 

6. Contact the Womens refuge Womens Refuge Project Home and enquire anonomously about housing (they are very good at rehousing within a week, and with no hubby in tow, but a dependant child, you will be a priority). This may provide another iron in the fire if things happen quickly.

 

7. Ensure you have contact details to remove your property to storage (contact numbers for trustable van and man, storage agents etc), and assess how long you believe it will reasonably take to remove your goods (this will affect the notice to quit period / eviction).

 

Don't know if the above is in the right order priority wise, or if I've missed anything, I'm sure I'll be corrected, but just trying to get some bullet points in place.

 

Plan B.

 

1. Find a toyboy with a yacht, three houses, swimming pool, rich daddy.

 

Any comments on Plan A anyone? Trying to get a plan of action in place.

 

Tide