It's not my real ladder, it's my step-ladder

[barracad]

We don’t normally have advertising on this site. However, I am trying to sell my step-ladder - let me know if you are interested. It is a deluxe one because I, personally, would never settle for anything less.

 

I am not sentimental about throwing it out, since it is only my step-ladder. I never knew my real ladder; he abandoned us when we were small and I was raised by in the forest by a family of foxes. One day I'll tell you of how we were found by a farmer, of our slow return to civilisation, and the adventures we had along the way. It is a beautiful story; stranger than any fiction.

 

 

But do you want this ladder or not?

 

I'm afraid I've had to withdraw this offer.

 

I don't know if this will interest you, but I am selling my flat, so I took the ladder outside to make the place look less cluttered. And when I went to retrieve it, it was gone. I can't believe anyone would be so low as to steal my ladder. It must have been removed by the management office.

 

 

Damn I'll miss that ladder.

[kia]

but i thought you were selling maybe it heard and moved out ;)xxkia

[Hippy-chick]

I'm afraid I've had to withdraw this offer.

 

I don't know if this will interest you, but I am selling my flat, so I took the ladder outside to make the place look less cluttered. And when I went to retrieve it, it was gone. I can't believe anyone would be so low as to steal my ladder. It must have been removed by the management office.

 

 

Damn I'll miss that ladder.

 

That's a real shame barracad. As I know how hard it is to lose a ladder.

[kia]

he must be all rung out :Dget it oppss ill get me coat xxkia

[Hippy-chick]

he must be all rung out :Dget it oppss ill get me coat xxkia

 

Groans at kia

 

[Guest ChloeJane]

Letter from the step-ladder to Barracad.

 

 

Dear Sir

 

As you abonded me and never took me out anywhere.. or climbed my rungs...or took me out to play in the flat I felt neglected and lonely. You put me in a cupboard with tools and never felt my steps or my curves of how well I was built for you. You took me out once in a year and let me get dusty and you knew you could have used me as there was so much maintenance to be done.

 

So when you put me outside a nice man found me. He climbs on top of me every day! He touches my rungs....and I don't ever get dusty! I have lots of new tools as friends and happy.

 

So dont miss me. I am with my little brother mini step and my old school friend table and chair, we came from the same parents you know. In closing...

 

Thanks for putting me outside to rot and be stolen.May you never be able to reach and change a lightglobe again and forever live in darkness!

 

Signed - The Step Ladder!

[kia]

well thats you told :Dwhat do u say to that then xxkia

[Guest ChloeJane]

Kia, I think the cat got his rung....(oops I mean tongue?)

 

Ok ok, that was a bad attempt at humour...I am after all the abandoned ladder.....

 

Maybe he is trying to find a chair to stand on to change a light bulb????hence the silence...

[barracad]

I am too emotional to respond. As I explained previously, I never knew my real ladder, so for my step-ladder to do that is just too much to take.

[Hippy-chick]

I am too emotional to respond. As I explained previously, I never knew my real ladder, so for my step-ladder to do that is just too much to take.

 

barracad. I feel for you. I really do. As one who grew up knowing her ladder and knowing that it loved her I can only imagine how you must be feeling. nobody should have to go through the pain of losing 2 ladders - and at such a young age.

 

All I can say is that it will get better.

[barracad]

Thank you. At least someone cares. That ChloeJane is clearly heartless.

[Hippy-chick]

Thank you. At least someone cares. That ChloeJane is clearly heartless.

 

She's young, barracad, and she has not experienced loss. One day something she cares deeply about - maybe her dishcloth - will come to a terrible end. Then she will realise how heartless she is being to you.

[barracad]

She's young

 

Thanks again. That's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time, really cheered me up. Now I have a slight smile on my face and no longer have to cry myself to sleep.

[Hippy-chick]

Thanks again. That's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time, really cheered me up. Now I have a slight smile on my face and no longer have to cry myself to sleep.

 

Glad to help, barracad. We're all here for you - well, most of us are. Try to remember the good times with your ladder - it is better to have loved and lost, and all that. And, although it may not seem like it at present -there will be other ladders. Bigger ladders, better ladders - ladders you have never dreamt of.

[blueskies]

He didn't love the ladder anyway, remember he tried to SELL it. A ladder deserves a good home and to know that it will be safe for the rest of it's natural life, not passed on once it has been 'used'.

[Guest ChloeJane]

Step ladder is outraged!

 

You did not tell them all what you did to the REAL LADDER!!! Go on, tell them all and watch them weep.....You won't tell them so I will.

 

Grab your tissues...this is sad....

 

REAL LADDER he knew.......though one cold and rainy night he took him out of the deep dark closet.

 

No wood left and lightening and thunder and an evil look in his eye...he looked at the axe outside.....NO!!!! I know what your thinking he wouldn't do it!

 

But he did! He took that axe....and he chopped the REAL LADDER into pieces and used it as kindling to the light the fire! That night.....he fell from a chair ....hurt his head.....punishment I think for taking the LADDERS LIFE.....but has amnesia....about the life the REAL LADDER led.

 

He bought me shortly after, but every time he looked at me in the cupboard, knowing what he did to the REAL LADDER.....he would shut the door...he couldn't live with himself!

 

So, that is why he put me outside to be stolen. The guilt ate at him...every time he opened the door....he knew he had secretly killed the REAL LADDER...to stay warm.

 

THIS MAN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BUY LADDERS!!!

 

HE IS ON THE ABUSED LADDER LIST OF OFFENDERS!

 

See...there is two sides to every ladder story.........the rungs just keep going up!

[Hippy-chick]

He didn't love the ladder anyway, remember he tried to SELL it. A ladder deserves a good home and to know that it will be safe for the rest of it's natural life, not passed on once it has been 'used'.

 

You youngsters are so heartless. barracad was trying to do the best by his ladder and all you are doing is acusing him of not caring.

[barracad]

Nice try, but I'm afraid as already stated my real ladder abandoned us when we were only small so I never knew him. (And was then raised by a family of foxes, but that is another story...

 

The only thing I remember about my real ladder, was that he was aluminium, which, I'm led to believe (although have not tested the theory) is not the best material to use as fire wood.

 

Apart from that, quite a commendable attempt to muddy the waters and spread your dirty rotten lies. But may I respectfully suggest you do your research in future before casting any further wild accusations?

[blueskies]

I am not sentimental about throwing it out, since it is only my step-ladder.

But do you want this ladder or not?

 

He is just opportunistically grabbing sympathy. He couldn't care less about the ladder he even left it out unattended (and we all know what harm ladders can come to without the loving gaze of the owner over it)

[Guest ChloeJane]

**THANKS TO BLUESKIES!!! - HE SEES THE TRUTH BEHIND THE LADDER ABUSER AND HIS PLOY!***

 

See.....the denial of being a LADDER ABUSER!!

 

He is on the top ten wanted list for LADDER ABUSERS! and now is only able to call a handy man for all work to be done and is fully supervised around all ladders.

 

This man is restrained from contact with all ladders. ......Alumunium ladder he leads you to believe, but at his age and with such a tale, I ask you as the jurors of this kangaroo court.....

 

Was Barracad leading you down a false road to believe he is not guilty? that his REAL LADDER was an alumunium one......so that he can get closer to your ladder? BE WARNED.......

 

GUILTY AS CHARGED! BARRACAD, YOU ARE SENTENCED TO A LIFE WITHOUT A LADDER AND CHARGED WITH LADDER ABUSE.

 

Penalty????????

[blueskies]

It was even during one of these periods of Ladder Abuse (LA) that the poor ladder made his escape. I think the new carer should inform the LA helpline

[Guest ChloeJane]

I have placed a full APB out to all the Hardware stores Blue skies....

 

If this man is seen near a LADDER he is to be arrested.

 

MI5 have been informed that he is on the loose with excuses trying to hide his evil crime......

 

DON'T BE FOOLED. If you have a LADDER, take good care of it. Ensure it is safely packed away and near the tools. Do not lend your LADDER, you may find Barracad is in disguise.

 

This LADDER abuser is on the loose. Post all missing Ladders on the CAG missing ladder thread.

 

Good luck in protecting your ladder!

[Hippy-chick]

I feel you are being very unfair judging barracad when you are not in full possesion of the facts. This poor man, I suggest, was so traumatised by the early loss of his real ladder -the only ladder he really loved, that he did not know how to treat his step ladder.

 

Is this not a failing of society itself, not of our poor barracad, that he made that fatal error of judgement and left his step ladder for a short while?

[Guest ChloeJane]

Hmmm....interesting thought Hippy Chick.

 

Perhaps the Jurors need to decide. Is he just a victim of not being taught how to care for his ladders?

 

Maybe he did love his ladder and his ladder knew he was to be sacraficed to keep him warm?

 

Perhaps the Jury of the Kangaroo Court need time to deliberate and the Guilty verdict stayed. I mean after all, we have had no real defence only denial.

 

Thank you Hippy Chick. Till he is brought into custody on this thread and made accountable for being a ladder abuser, it is perhaps wrong to find him Guilty. We shall wait for his defence.

 

Over to the night watchmen on this thread!

 

The Kangaroo Court is grateful to Hippy for the objective viewpoint. Perhaps the foxes have something to add?

 

The Prosecution rests till morning.

[blueskies]

I feel you are being very unfair judging barracad when you are not in full possesion of the facts. This poor man, I suggest, was so traumatised by the early loss of his real ladder -the only ladder he really loved, that he did not know how to treat his step ladder.

That is no excuse, he could have asked for help. There are many LSG's (Ladder Support Groups) that could have shown him how to care for, and love, his ladder.

Is this not a failing of society itself, not of our poor barracad, that he made that fatal error of judgement and left his step ladder for a short while?

He only had to ask a relative or a friend to keep a good eye on the poor ladder, but no. I hasten to add that this probably isn't the first time such an incident has happened.

 

I am glad the ladder is safe from harm away from this LA