nurse with depression needs help

[sadgirl]

hi there

 

first of all thanks for reading this i appreciate any opinons or adive given.

 

my story is a long one so i will keep it brief.

 

started working at this private hospital jan 2010. probationary period 6mths was up and my boss called me in to say she wasnt happy and probation was extend. i admitted to feeling stressed and sufferin from depression.

 

action plans were drawn up for me to complete 3 to be exact even though i completed my action plans none of them were ever reviewed. my manager piled on more and more pressure. i went to the boss at one point for a meeting and cried telling her i was very stressed and depressed she replied by saying ,i see from your cv that you have acting experience can you not use this to pretend you are ok!

 

everyday my collegues told me they didnt know how i could bear to come to work as they could see how i was being treated.

 

anyway i came off my anti depressants and was to start a different one but had to have a 7 day break in between, i informed my manager of same.

 

then i made 3 mistakes in the one day as i was unbelievebly stressed. i didnt record post op blood pressure of a patient, i didnt record urine output and gave a childs dose of nasal spray to an adult. thankfully all patients were fine.

 

mistakes were reported and i contiued to work for a couple of days with my manager literally lookin over my shoulder until i finally said i am too unwell i need to go off sick.

 

i have been off sick from april 2011.

 

i have been too a meeting with my rcn rep in which i had a chance to have my say, then i got a letter stating i had to attend a poor performance hearing but have no date as yet.

 

can anyone tell me what the possible outcomes could be?

has anyone else been in this position?

my memory of these incidents is not good as its so long ago, is it a fair hearing?

 

have they the right to hold a hearing a year after the incident?

if i am dissmised is my career as a nurse over?

 

i love my job as a nurse i am told i have great patience and am very caring, yes my performance was poor but i was very ill at the time and feel that work put too much pressure on me by treating me with you will loose your job if you make a mistake and watching me like a hawk but giving me no support.

 

please help i am nearly suicidal over the whole issue.

 

thanks x

Edited March 6, 2012 by honeybee13
Putting in some paragraphs for ease of reading.

[honeybee13]

Hello there. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time.

 

I expect the guys will be along later with advice for you, but it seems to be a bit quiet here right now.

 

Perhaps I could ask if you have a copy of your employer's disciplinary procedures? Maybe in your staff handbook if you have one.

 

My best, HB

[sadgirl]

hi hb,

thanks for your reply. i did get a copy of the disciplinary procedure they are carrying things out properly. i just wondered if they can gather evidence from people accurately when its a year since the incident occured surely peoples memories are not very reliable since its a long time? does anyone know if there is a time frame in which this investigation must be completed? i just want the issue resolved and to get on with my life. thanks again.

[honeybee13]

Hello again.

 

I can see why you're asking that and hope the guys will be able to answer you later. I don't know, I'm afraid.

 

HB x

[stu007]

Hi

 

* You informed your boss at the meeting after your 6mth probation period "you were suffering from stress and depression".

So what steps did your boss take at this time assist you with your health issues apart from extending your probation period and you being supervised at work?

 

* When you came off your anti depressent for 7days before going onto a different tablet may have had an affect like any mediciation there are side affects even when coming

off medication. I would advise speaking to your GP or consultant that prescribed your medication and explain this circumstance to them and if they could provide you with a

letter.

 

Also ask for a copy of there "Health and Safety Policy" and "Staff Health and Wellbeing Policy"

[sadgirl]

hi stu007,

thanks for your reply and advise it is very helpful. they sent me to an independant occupational health gp and he said i maybe fit to work but couldnt say so for definate. that was the only step they took with regards to my health. getting a letter from my gp is a good idea and getting a copy of the health and safety policy is also good. thanks. i am just hoping that being dismissed from this job wont make me unemployable.

[Night Owl]

Hi sadgirl,

 

so sorry to hear about whats happened to you.

 

You will be employable even though you have been dismissed. You may have to expand in detail what the greivance was with your next employer or you may not.

 

Maybe you can look at a more stress free job within your line of work say a Clinic.

 

Are you getting plenty of support with your depression?

[sadgirl]

hi night owl,

thanks so much for your response it helped alot. i am getting help from my lovely gp with anti depressants and cbt counselling.

thanks again.

[sadgirl]

i have to go to a poor performance hearing at work.

i am very distressed and depressed right now and i cant go through with it.

can anyone advise me if its possible to resign due to ill health or is it too late? do i have to take part in this hearing?

any advise would be much appreciated. thank you!

[Browncow]

i have to go to a poor performance hearing at work.

i am very distressed and depressed right now and i cant go through with it.

can anyone advise me if its possible to resign due to ill health or is it too late? do i have to take part in this hearing?

any advise would be much appreciated. thank you!

 

I think it would be better to go to the meeting as there is a good chance you will still feel lousy if you don't.

 

If you are going to this meeting try to see the situation objectively. You were unwell and made some mistakes. The medication you were/are taking impairs your concentration and you could not perform as well as usual. You will not always be illl or taking medication so this is essentially a temporary situation.

 

It would be a good idea to see the errors as indicators of the type of tasks that you find difficult to perform adequately while on medication. You might be able to work, if you were spared such tasks.

 

If you want to go on working, suggest shorter hours and a change/restriction of duties so that you can continue to practice and develop in your profession with mimimun risk to patients etc.

 

I know that you feel stressed and humiliated by all this but it only happened because you are unwell and you would not expect anyone else to perform at a high level if they were sick. There is still a big stigma surrounding depressive illness and I think that you blame yourself too much.

 

You do not have to give up your career totally because you have been ill and made some mistakes. All is not lost.

[sadgirl]

hi browncow,

thank you so much for your advise and comments. i think you are right i need to go to the meeting. i will let you know how it all turns out.

thanks again.

[Night Owl]

You have every right to take someone with you to support you at the meeting, but make sure that you are the one involved in the discussions.

 

You must look at this meeting as an opportunity to take stock of you and your health at the mo.

It may be time to look at making some career changes temporarily so that you can have time to recover.

[sadgirl]

hi night owl,

thanks for your reply. i am taking my union rep with me. i am just feeling very vulnerable at the moment and am going to find it tough goin but your adivse and everyone elses has given me alot of comfort. it is very much like a court case very intense. the awful thing is other nurses on the ward make mistakes and refuse to look after certain patients and nothing is said or done about it. i wonder if i hadnt mentioned my depression would things have turned out differently.

i am thinking about a change of career ,at the moment i volunteer in a cancer research shop and its really nice at least i am still helping people in some small way. thanks again and take care.

[Night Owl]

Don't be sad for what you have lost, look forward to the opening of new doors and recovery.

Small steps.

[ScarletPimpernel]

You have shown great moral courage in raising the issue of your depression at work, and in seeking help you have already overcome one of the biggest hurdles in dealing with it.

 

Your manager's attitude betrays her own inability to deal with the issues; that's her problem, not yours. The fact that others make errors but nothing is done also points to inadequate management. It's very easy, especially whilst depressed, to make excuses for others, put all the blame for things that go wrong on yourself, and imagine that others do things to get at you; you then ruminate on all these bad things, and feel worse, and so on. As well as recognising that others are responsible for their own actions, try to think about what you can do rather than what you can't.

 

It may well be removing yourself from the stress factors, at least for a while, will help you to deal with the depression. Volunteering is a really good way to meet people, keep yourself busy (and thus avoid ruminating), and generally put things into perspective, helping you to deal with the depression. A decision on a full blown career change may be better left until you have progressed more with treatment, however.

[sadgirl]

hi scarletpimpernel,

thanks for your response. it is very frustrating that depression has derailed my career. i am sure i am not alone in this. its just that when i was upset in the matrons office and she said i see from your cv that you did some acting maybe you should use this to pretend you are ok. its really very sad that in the nursing profession support for any mental illness simply isnt there. iloved being a nurse,i am very gentle patient and caring sort of person and treat all my patients as if they were my family i particularly love caring for the elderly and kids. i am just so sad that after this my credibility as a nurse is gone and i will never work as a nurse again. they have crushed my confidence as well as my spirit. but when this investigation concludes on fri 23rd maybe i can start to recover and put it behind me.

working as a volunteer is great and i would highly recommend it to anyone.

thanks again and best wishes.