What Made You Want To Swear Today?

[assisted blonde]

Thats a big village, ours has a village hall, a pub just outside the village and a lot of fields very peaceful though, the only noise we get is cows mooing and the occasional gunshot, glad I dont live where burlyb does, he has my sympathy nothing worse than neighbours that you cant get on with.

[snowdragon]

lol, it is very quiet here, we have pheasants walking by the house and very flat here,open countryside everywhere, four miles to the nearest town and about 18 to Cambridge

Nystagmite, Natwest have said we do not exist, we applied over 6 weeks ago at least for a basic account,took all paper work into the branch but heard nothing!

[burlyb]

penalty shootouts especialy england dickbrain ones

[lexis200]

lol Barclays have just closed our account so doubt they will give us a basic one, we have been having problems with them for awhile

 

Oops, did I miss you saying that? Sorry:)

 

I'm swearing because of the plastering we've had done:(

 

We're having a new kitchen (so I can get insured and start my cake business!) and have had various workmen round, builder, plumber, sparky etc. I said it was fine for the chap who's sorting it for us to get all his blokes to do that work, but I wanted my friend to do the plastering as a) he's excellent (last year he plastered a wall over some pipework and seriously you wouldn't know there's a honking big curve to it) and b) if I have a friend that can do a job I'd much rather pay them than a stranger.

 

Anyway, we were pretty much railroaded into having another chap do it in order to keep with the schedule as my friend couldn't manage it till a few days after they wanted it done. I've just gone and looked and it's not good. Whereas if I run my hand over my friends plastering it feels like glass, this feels like sandpaper. There are areas with plaster bits stuck on and others with indentations. There's plaster that's dripped onto the floor in one spot causing a curved effect from wall to floor, and bits around the empty power sockets which have made the socket sized hole about the size of a tennis ball.

 

In addition, where my friend was going to bond all the walls that needed it, ours have been plaster-boarded instead on one wall, so it's going to be a pain in the ar*e when I try to put bookshelves up there!

 

Bum:(

[bluekooga]

.......Opening an envelope which had a Statutory Demand letter from Hamptons Legal/Lowells/Capital One......

[burlyb]

swore when I found out the MRI suite were running almost an hour late and swore again when I had to pay £4.00 for parking at the hospital...............I paid my effing fee when I paid my NI contributions BUT theres something funny on the smile thread....well I thought it was funny

Edited June 25, 2012 by burlyb

[burlyb]

tried to get the blood test sorted before i went to the dentist and all was going well.....i allowed 25 mins to sit and wait for my number then realised half the staff were on bliddy tea break and then a bus load of LETTERED tests were drifting in and they get seen before us numbered ones grrrrrrrrr took me 12 minutes over my self alotted time and made me late for the dentist...............BIG rear molar out now and one on the other side next monday..............I now feel like my lower jaw is the other sdie of the room and my elder son laughed when i tried to talk to him with a saggy jaw ha ha ha yes I can still laugh

[lexis200]

NOT my court case:)

 

Hope your mouth feels better soon burly xxx

[burlyb]

My gob is always open one way or another ...........hey carefull how you read that lol....really glad the court saw through her shyte and saw your truth xx...tops:whoo:

[lexis200]

Ta burly:)

 

This didn't make me swear as much as make me highly indignant.

 

I was at Tesco petrol station today and went to pay at the kiosk. As I walked up a lovely gent held the door open to wave me through, nearly tw*tting me in the head with it as he did so. We had a bit of a chuckle as he was just trying to be gentlemanly and it went horribly wrong, but I said my thank-yous and went into pay. He also held the door for the lady behind me.

 

As I was paying I heard this lady say 'no you go first, you held the door for me', to which the bloke was saying not to worry (as I'm fairly confident we all would?), but she was insistent. So, after an awkwardly over-polite conversation between him and her he goes first to the tills. She then proceeds to say to him 'it's just manners you know, you let me in so you should go first. No one has manners any more'. Then, as I'm leaving she says (in the middle of a full shop) 'you should have let him go first, he did hold the door open for you'.

 

Now am I just incredibly rude? I can honestly hand-on-heart say that if I hold the door open for someone, it's not with the caveat that they hold me a place in the line! He clearly had the time to let me go first, I'd said thank you, we'd had a bit of a giggle, no issues, but she seemed to really take umbrance at this. The lady with her 'manners' actually caused awkwardness as he clearly was not expecting to go before her, and personally I think it's pretty bad manners to have a pop at someone to a complete stranger, and then to chastise them for an (in my view imagined) lack of manners - especially loudly in a full shop.

 

I had to phone my mum and ask her as she's the most polite person I know. She said the lady was batty so that made me feel a bit better, but I seem to be attracting that sort at the moment.

[burlyb]

maybe she was the cousin of the deranged doobrie that crashed into you......YOU HAVE NOW ENTERED.....................the twiglet zone..................doodeedoodeedoodeedoodee.....daaadadaaaadaaa oops no thats JAWS1

 

 

she's just another one who needs to meet that revolving door Lexis or the dredded mangle

[lexis200]

Perhaps they'll knock each other out...

 

I seriously am a nut magnet, and always have been.

 

I remember being on a train when I was about 14, and this bloke in his 50''s/60's came up to me and asked if I liked coins. I politely said something along the lines of 'erm, I guess', and he then proceeded to show me his coin collection for the next 45 minutes.

 

Every time I take the kids to the park I think I have a sign saying 'come and chat to me about your life'. Last month it was a (clearly very lonely) lady telling me her entire life story, including how she didn't ever take her kids to the park/swimming/cinema etc as her husband wouldn't let her out of the house 'I was a bit scared of him really'!!

 

Maybe I'm actually a bit off kilter myself and they're just gravitating towards a kindred spirit. I never thought of myself as mad, but maybe give me thirty years and I'll be sidling up to people in the park to tell them about my day:)

[burlyb]

I had a really weird three days when I was re-building a huge gate pier that had been knocked over about 20 years ago ....I was working away over the first two days and i kept hearing mutterings and little moans etc and for the life of me I couldnt make it out so on the third day I had a tresstle scaffold up and I could see about 5-6 feet higher than the previous two days and the noise came from a huge laurel hedge about 30 yards away so I jumped down and poked a hole in the hedge and there was a 6 foot chain link fence and behind the fence was a big gang of NOT quite right people looking back at me and making swaying movements and those iffy noises.....makes me think of the current zombie prog thats on ...the walking dead ha ha ha .....makes me feel iffy even now thinking back ....what if they had got over the fence ....would I have had a club hammer imbedded in my crust or my brick trowel poking up my ribs oh-er missus

[burlyb]

just back elbow them Lexis they soon get the message ha ha

[Nystagmite]

On Friday, I phoned up my consultant's sectary because I need a report, which I've been waiting for since May.

 

Parents received a phone call about this yesterday and took a message. They were told that I'm not registered at this GP practise (er, I made an appointment on Friday) and that the report has been lost.

 

I checked with the receptionist at the surgery. I am most definitely registered with them and they've not heard anything. She also said that when referrals are made, the name of the GP who referred me and the address of the surgery is on the letter.

 

I phoned the sectary. She said that my report hasn't been lost; but one of the clinic letters is missing.

 

Argh. Can they get their story straight, please? I'm being told one thing and my parents are being told another. Also not happy that I had to enquire about the report (which I need now) for someone to tell me part of it was missing.

[burlyb]

Nyst I know this scenaio onlt too well .....I'm just waiting to get my MRI scan results and then I'll be applying for my FULL medical records

 

"damn this headache"

[caro]

Was looking forward to a good night out at the Godiva Festival tonight but it's been cancelled because the ground is too wet and dangerous.

[determindator]

Was looking forward to a good night out at the Godiva Festival tonight but it's been cancelled because the ground is too wet and dangerous.

 

This weather is putting a dampner on everything, literally Caro. Real shame had to be cancelled, but saw the sodden ground on T.V

[caro]

I heard about it but didn't see it myself. Others are suffering far worse because of it so I shouldn't moan.

[burlyb]

Caro can you upload some photos of the Godiva outfit you were planning to wear

[burlyb]

think I may have to change my tag in here to Mr cheeki

[caro]

Caro can you upload some photos of the Godiva outfit you were planning to wear

 

No problem burly - this is me when I went to try it on.

 

[caro]

think I may have to change my tag in here to Mr cheeki

 

Your card is marked!!

[determindator]

No problem burly - this is me when I went to try it on.

 

 

WoW!!

[Dotty50]

I think we need to start a comedians thread, these last few posts have made me laugh not swear!