Any advice welcome, do we have a chance?

[bowkett]

Hi all,

 

I am posting this for any advice anyone can offer, a short version of the story behind this is below, a more indepth version in the next post. Please let me know if you need any more information from me to be able to offer your advice/opinion. Thanks in advance

Sam

 

My friends Dad died in Feb and was cremated in March. Her only and younger sibling orchistrated the funeral due to family fall outs etc. Her Dads ashes still being held at the crem, locked in a cupboard in storage. She has asked if she can have them but they need to be signed for by the person who arranged the funeral (her brother) and we both know there is no way he will do this. He doesnt want them but only to cause further heartache to her, he would flush them down the loo before letting her have them (not a very nice person at all)

Is there any way she can get her Dad's ashes back?? She is the older of the two and should have been the next of kin. She has received nothing from her fathers estate and her brother has more than likely lied and told any solicitor that she doesnt exist. I was very close to her Dad and knew him for a number of years, thats my involvement in all this. She is planning on seeing a solicitor about this but is very low at the moment, not suprisingly.

[bowkett]

Family fall out happened a couple of years ago. Son is very nasty at times, Dad was afraid of him and for a quiet life went along with being told not to speak to his daughter by his son. Got ill and went through loads of crap with the local hospital before being told on new years eve it was cancer (2005). At this time I felt his daughter had a right to know about her dads illness, so with his permission I contacted her and they started meeting in secret. He didnt like the fact his son didnt know about these meetings and so tried to tell him. Son made him stop seeing her again. This (my thoughts) was because he thought his dad would go and live with her, he lived with his son but is was his flat not his sons and his son had a fear that he would end up homeless (34yr old man!). Anyway as his illness got worse and I new it was terminal (no one else did) I applied for a bungalow and his son found out and withdrew the application, as he would have been homeless if this had gone through. Dad continued to see daughter on his weekly visits to hospice, but when admitted this had to stop as he was so fearful that they would bump into each other, not so much what she would have done but him. Anyway, the day he died the son came to the hospice and demanded that no one enter the room after he had gone and he signed all the papers etc so there was nothing she could do. Son got the flat and its contents and anything that was left in the bank. The funeral will most likely have been paid for the the social services. His son was also not aware that I had helped his dad start a claim for compo in relation to his illness, the payout would have been substantial and I know he will have continued these claims retrospect. His daughter has had no contact from either the son nor a solicitor on his behalf to deal with the estate. The ashes are being held in storage at the local crem and she wants them, nothing more. Is there a way she can get them?? She should have been the one to sort everything out as she is the elder therfore the next of kin? There was no will.

[Isiris]

I really do feel for your friend but I cant offer any advice as I do not know BUT another reason to have a will.

 

Really hope it works out for your friend

[Bookworm]

What a horrible, horrible story. Please feel free to pass on my deepest sympathy to your friend, no-one should have to go through anything like this, and I feel deeply sorry too for the poor man who spent his last months of suffering being frightened of his son, and having to hide to see his daughter.

 

This is very specialist knowledge here, and I doubt anyone will know that much. At this point, I would have thought that the CAB would probably be your best port of call, they deal with so many things...

 

If there is someone who knows better, I would be delighted, but I don't want to raise your hopes.

 

All the very best to you.

[BotB]

Hi bowkett,

 

Well there is something your friend can do. First of all, she needs to establish whether her brother obtained letters of administration in her father's estate. This is the means by which the brother is legally authorised to handle the father's estate where there was no will appointing an executor. I'm working on the basis there was no will left by the father appointing his son as the executor. If there was a will, it becomes a public document once it has been proved and lodged with the probate registry - anyone can get a copy .

 

I would advise your friend to check the Court Service website for further info:

Information about - Wills and Probate

 

She should check that her brother hasn't already applied for and been granted probate - if it was a small estate, its quite possible he hasn't as most banks and building societies will release small amounts of money to nearest relatives on production of ID and a statutory declaration without requiring to see a grant of probate.

 

If the brother has not applied for probate, then your friend can do it and as soon as it is granted to her, she's in the driving seat. The crematorium will have to release her father's ashes to her and she will be entitled to call in the estate and administer it. This will enable her to check whether her brother has received money from the estate (which should have been divided equally between herself and the brother presuming there are no other siblings).

 

If her brother has already applied for probate, he does have legal responsibilities to administer it properly for the beneficiaries which includes your friend of course.

 

Keep us informed how she gets on.

[lancsman]

Do feel for her,my first thought was also citizen,s advice they will be able to arrange a solicitor i would think.proof of being related to the father would be the first thing i would take to a solicitor (citizen,s advice).

Botb,s advice sounds right too.

God bless her and you for trying to help Bowket.

[bowkett]

Thank you so much to all of you for your kind words, it has been a hard time but your advice and opinions have given me hope for her. I will be passing on this information to her next week so she can look into the probate issue. Thanks again, I will keep you updated. You are so right, make a will!!! It can save so much heart ache.

[bowkett]

Just to update:

We have been to the local Probate Registry today and nothing has been granted to anyone. My friend is now going to apply, thing is his estranged wife should take priority and so it looks like my friend wont get probate, but she is going to try anyway. We also stopped by the local jobcenter as they deal with benefits etc, looks like his son has been collecting the old age pension! Does anyone know if a marriage is still lawful after over 15 years apart? They never divorced but led separate lives and lived independantly of each other. I think the answer is that she is still his lawful wife, but clarification would be nice

[shywazz]

There are still married in the eye of the law since NO divorce was filed through the courts. As for the son still claiming the dads benifits after his passing away, this is a matter for them to take up, as this is a criminal offence, the probate was the 1st cause of action for a friend of mine in a similar postion, The wife is entitled to make a full claim to any assets her husband may have left, although this action can be fought in the courts, since there had'nt been together for 15 yrs plus, although the courts might see favourable to the wife? the courts will also make sure his children gain through this method, Has the funeral been paid for ? If so, i'm sure there can not with hold the fathers ashes, regardless of what the son desires ( more so if he is'nt the executor/adminstrator of the fathers will/estate ) , something that a solicitor might be able to in-force, most solicitors give a FREE half hr consultation, my best advice, is take a free half hr and i'm sure any solicitor will sort this un-happy matter for your friend. Hope all goes okay, take care