Foster Carers

[Saffronflowers]

The lack financial remuneration, that you site, is not the reason that I would not be a foster carer that is for sure. There are many reasons that I would not consider it, having a child with Cystic Fibrosis is top of the list.

 

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[phatram]

They ARE children, they HAVE had a tough time, we all have a responsability to the children that we come into contact with however short or long.

 

So are you going to pay for these children out of your wages to the tune of about an extra 30%?

[Saffronflowers]

Well in a way we all do pay - through our taxes, so yes we are contributing to the up keep of theses children. Is it right that my daughter will have to pay for her prescriptions when she leaves full time education for the over 45 tablets and two iv antibiotics that she takes daily - NO - but are we grateful that we live in a country that subsidises these medicines YES.

 

I do look after her 24/7 I dont do the career that I worked hard to attain as I need so much time off but she is my daughter and I have NO choice, and I woulds not have it any other way.

 

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[bed32]

In your opinion how much should someone who is on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week etc get paid?

It is a hard argument - but the same could be said for any full time carer. My wife gave up work to look after our kids, and we get about £15 pw in childcare. Many other people are dedicated to caring for relations 24x7, often with no financial support at all.

 

It is a difficult area because to make fostering a "job" in the same way that say residential care for the elderly is a job, is to miss out on what surely is the most important part - that of giving the child a surrogate family rather than merely providing for their physical needs.

 

My view is that foster parents should be fully compensated for all costs so that the family has the same standard of living as it would have without, neither more nor less.

[PriorityOne]

Isn't every job a job of choice? Only for the lucky few...

Doesn't everyone expect to be paid properly for doing that job? In an ideal world, yes.

 

[/quote]

 

Just seen this thread...

 

Phatram, I can understand some of the points you're trying to make, but firstly, fostering is not a "job" in the normal sense. Most people who take on the responsibility of fostering only do it after a great deal of thought... not only with themselves, but also with the rest of the family. It's not an easy option, I agree.... but no type of "caring" is.

 

I work with "behaviour" teenagers in the day job... so can appreciate some of the stress that you're under. In my case, I go home at the end of the day and can leave the pressure behind until the next day (most of the time). In your case, you can't do that.... which I assume is why you talk about needing paid breaks and so on.

 

In reality though, foster kids should be embraced as part of your family unit and if you're unable to do that 24/7, then maybe it's time to consider another vocation. I work with a young lad in foster care at the moment, whose behaviour hit the ceiling just before the Easter break because his carers were going on holiday without him and he was having to live elsewhere while they were away. He (eventually) told me that he felt rejected by them. For the record, these same carers don't bother returning 'phone calls from the school when we have concerns and neither do they turn up for Parents Day.... Wiggle a further financial incentive to do so however and they might.

 

I'm sure you do a fantastic "job" as a foster carer... but if it's made into something too attractive financially, it runs the risk of attracting "parents" of the wrong calibre, IMO....

 

Incidentally, I also work with a chap in his early forties who cares for his elderly mother at home, with considerably less support than what's given to foster carers.... My own step-father recently passed away after suffering from a long illness and his carer only had approx. £45 a week, which was docked from her earnings if/when they went above approx. £85 a week.

 

So... bottom line is... if you feel that you're not getting enough from your current arrangement, then it may be a good time to start looking around for an alternative income when the time comes for these children to leave your care.

 

[phatram]

It is a job, one which we have done for 11 years

[MilkTrayMan]

Hello phatram,

 

I understand that it is NOT easy to take on other peeps kid's, especially those which have come to the attention of Social Services + therefore MAY have difficulties that require patience, understanding + plenty of love + stability in their troubled lives.

 

However...

 

Your Posts cause me deep concern phatram.

U appear to NOT want to be prepared to integrate your charges into your own family + are setting up an underlying Us Vs Them atmosphere within your household??...

 

Being a 'parent' is perhaps the greatest honour that can be bestowed on ANY one individual.

The zillions of childless couples/post menopausal women who crave to be one is testiment to this.

No one has EVER said that being one is easy or comes natural to peeps.

U are indeed VERY lucky in the fact that U are in a position where U CAN make a HUGE difference to some unfortunate child's life.

 

PLEASE don't look on the financial rewards to MAY come your way by Fostering.

Undoubtedly there are other forms of 'payback', like knowing that U have personally contributed to a child's development + preparation for adult life + their adventure out into the 'Big Bad World'.

 

I doubt whether ALL the money in the world would be sufficient to replace the feeling that may well up inside of U, when U hear the simple 'Thanks for being my (Foster) Mum', that a leaving Foster Child may say when they finally leave U.

 

Think of the many natural parents who do NOT enjoy the same financial rewards afforded to yourself.

Admittedly, Foster Caring COULD be viewed as a 'professional job'

...But perhaps the 'professionality' lies in the vocation NOT the qualification or salary??...

 

Think of the children who didn't choose to be in Foster Care.

Imagine how further unwanted/unloved that they would feel if they knew it was ONLY for monies that they were where they were placed.

Imagine how U would feel if U were one of those same said children!

 

From a personal perspective, during MY adult life, I have sometimes been in relationships where there have been children who aren't my own.

I have always thought of it as being a great honour + privilege to nuture their progress into being well-rounded adults + have treated them as I would do my own flesh + blood.

Many times I have been out-of-pocket in the 'quid pro quo' scheme of things, but what the h*ll...they came as part of a package!

...Sometimes money just DOESN'T come into it...

 

If U are doubting your future role as a Foster Carer, can I be as so bold as to ask U to speak to your liasing Keyworker?

Perhaps a short period of Respite is needed, so that U can focus once again on the benefits that continued Foster Caring can bring to your natural family??...

 

 

...

[phatram]

Think of the many natural parents who do NOT enjoy the same financial rewards afforded to yourself.

Don't have children if you can't afford to then.

[PriorityOne]

 

Don't have children if you can't afford to then.

 

Unfortunately, most of us do not have the psychic ability to know what lies around the corner, Phatram.... so please don't try and take the moral high ground....

 

If you've been doing the "job" for 11 years as you say.... then maybe it's time for a change. Life isn't fair for most of us.... and the only person who can make it better and/or change it, is yourself.

 

[phatram]

As so many of you feel as you do, I hope you are now going to use your knowledge of all things fostering related to get in touch with your local authority and volunteer to join us !

[phatram]

Foster care crisis forces rethink | The Daily Telegraph

[MilkTrayMan]

...Don't have children if you can't afford to then.

Sometimes circumstances dictate differently phatram...

 

What would happen if YOUR children unfortunately + unexpectedly became orphans and there was NO immediate family suitable to look after them??...

 

What would happen if YOUR children had a parent who became involved in drugs/alcohol etc + became abusive following a possible marital/mental breakdown that WASN'T planned at the time of their conception??...

 

What would happen if YOUR children had parents who, through NO fault of their own, lost their jobs, were subsequentially repossessed, lived in unsuitable B & B + faced all the difficulties that some peeps have to face day after day, with NO hope of breaking the downward spiral which Debt can quite easily cause??...

 

Etc...etc...etc...

 

Methinks..."But for there by the grace of God go I"...is MOST apt phatram!...;-)

 

 

...

[phatram]

Methinks... you don't know what you're talking about, but if you think God is involved in any way you are barking up the wrong tree.

Are you a social work line manager by any chance?

[phatram]

I started this thread for foster carers. While I have enjoyed the discussion please could it be for foster carers not people who just want to have a go!

 

Any more foster carers out there who feel exploited, unrepresented etc?

Are you struggling to make ends meet because of inadequate allowances/payments?.

 

Do you feel you are subsidising local government by having to pay out your cash to look after "their" children and young people?

 

We are trying to start a campaign to get a better deal for foster carers and would be grateful of any input.

 

If you don't feel comfortable posting in the thread please PM us.

 

Mr and Mrs P

[PriorityOne]

As so many of you feel as you do, I hope you are now going to use your knowledge of all things fostering related to get in touch with your local authority and volunteer to join us !

 

It's not something I'd choose to do, Phatram.... but then, what I do may not be what you'd choose to do either.... verbal abuse, physical danger on a daily basis, irate parents, child protection issues, useless do-gooders posing as professionals ....

 

Working in a school is no picnic... and the pay could be better (as with most kinds of work), but I love the job and get a buzz out of helping kids onto a better life path. If/when the day dawns when this satisfaction ends and/or the danger becomes too great.... then that's the time when I'll need to look elsewhere.

 

[phatram]

It's not something I'd choose to do, Phatram.... but then, what I do may not be what you'd choose to do either.... verbal abuse, physical danger on a daily basis, irate parents, child protection issues, useless do-gooders posing as professionals ....

 

Working in a school is no picnic... and the pay could be better (as with most kinds of work), but I love the job and get a buzz out of helping kids onto a better life path. If/when the day dawns when this satisfaction ends and/or the danger becomes too great.... then that's the time when I'll need to look elsewhere.

 

I couldn't agree more.

Thank you.

[Demtootief]

I read all the previous post before I decided to make a comment, and I am incensced at the 'fickle' and simplistic attitudes that are being taken here!!!! Have you ever stopped to understand how it feels to have to deny your own child, when Foster kids are expected to be catered to. One of the replies said something to the effect of just teaching the foster children how to economise (not exact words but general meaning), foster children are led to believe that monies grow on trees, and that they should get what they need. I think that before people start 'mouthing off' they need to be more intimate with the interactions and goings-on involved in being a Foster Carer.

 

I foster for an Independent Fostering Agency, and left a job that was paying £23K+ per year to become a Foster Carer. Can anyone dare tell me that I did this as a result of money? When I left my previous job at 5pm or sometimes before, I left the whole job and did not pick it back up till the next day. Fostering is a 24/7 job where you are always available - one does not get any days off sick. And for the individiual who wrote about Respite - in my previous job when I went on holiday I was still paid and so never had a month without a salary, however with Fostering the respite payment is paid pro rata every month, so one needs to be very mindful that when you take two weeks holiday, you won't get any payment for those two weeks. And Fostering fees are taxable by the way, so I do not know where the idea that foster carers don't pay tax came from.

 

Foster Carers are expected to take the children on holiday with them, and is considered not having the interests of the children at heart, should they not do this. I do what I do out of love for the job and the satisfaction I get from the end result (a mush happier, healthier and well rounded adult).

 

To Saffronflowers I will say this, when I tell my own child 'no' it has to be accepted.....foster children rant and rave and tell the Social Workers that they do not get the things that they need and then you thoroughly investigated. Social Workers do believe that 'material things' can substitute for the hurt that these children has been through and so they tend to cater to the children's every whim.

 

Lastly I would like to say that I came into Fostering because this is something that I have been brought up in - my mother (my dad died when I was 9) always ensuring that as a family we did what we could to help the less fortunate...even on the little that we had, as we were never rich. I enjoy fosting 'warts and all', but that does not mean that I would not like to be paid justly and fairly for the work that I do.

 

And Saffron.... adoptors get paid a 'lump sum' for every child that they adopt (this is only ont paid where adoptees reject this payment).

 

To the Foster Carer who started this I say..... I will not be intimidated by any Social Worker, as I know that I provide a good level of care to the children and no amount of material things is going to make a better human being. I treat the fostered children as I do my own child and as such I know that my conscience is cleart, so whenever I am challenged by a Social Worker, I enquire as to whether they feel that they can do my job....the answer is normally a very pregnant silence. Don't lose heart, keep on providing the great level of service to these kids that you do and as I said before, to the others who are commenting, 'get a bit more in the know before you take too high a ground'.

[phatram]

I read all the previous post before I decided to make a comment, and I am incensced at the 'fickle' and simplistic attitudes that are being taken here!!!! Have you ever stopped to understand how it feels to have to deny your own child, when Foster kids are expected to be catered to. One of the replies said something to the effect of just teaching the foster children how to economise (not exact words but general meaning), foster children are led to believe that monies grow on trees, and that they should get what they need. I think that before people start 'mouthing off' they need to be more intimate with the interactions and goings-on involved in being a Foster Carer.

 

I foster for an Independent Fostering Agency, and left a job that was paying £23K+ per year to become a Foster Carer. Can anyone dare tell me that I did this as a result of money? When I left my previous job at 5pm or sometimes before, I left the whole job and did not pick it back up till the next day. Fostering is a 24/7 job where you are always available - one does not get any days off sick. And for the individiual who wrote about Respite - in my previous job when I went on holiday I was still paid and so never had a month without a salary, however with Fostering the respite payment is paid pro rata every month, so one needs to be very mindful that when you take two weeks holiday, you won't get any payment for those two weeks. And Fostering fees are taxable by the way, so I do not know where the idea that foster carers don't pay tax came from.

 

Foster Carers are expected to take the children on holiday with them, and is considered not having the interests of the children at heart, should they not do this. I do what I do out of love for the job and the satisfaction I get from the end result (a mush happier, healthier and well rounded adult).

 

To Saffronflowers I will say this, when I tell my own child 'no' it has to be accepted.....foster children rant and rave and tell the Social Workers that they do not get the things that they need and then you thoroughly investigated. Social Workers do believe that 'material things' can substitute for the hurt that these children has been through and so they tend to cater to the children's every whim.

 

Lastly I would like to say that I came into Fostering because this is something that I have been brought up in - my mother (my dad died when I was 9) always ensuring that as a family we did what we could to help the less fortunate...even on the little that we had, as we were never rich. I enjoy fosting 'warts and all', but that does not mean that I would not like to be paid justly and fairly for the work that I do.

 

And Saffron.... adoptors get paid a 'lump sum' for every child that they adopt (this is only ont paid where adoptees reject this payment).

 

To the Foster Carer who started this I say..... I will not be intimidated by any Social Worker, as I know that I provide a good level of care to the children and no amount of material things is going to make a better human being. I treat the fostered children as I do my own child and as such I know that my conscience is cleart, so whenever I am challenged by a Social Worker, I enquire as to whether they feel that they can do my job....the answer is normally a very pregnant silence. Don't lose heart, keep on providing the great level of service to these kids that you do and as I said before, to the others who are commenting, 'get a bit more in the know before you take too high a ground'.

 

Very well put and many thanks.

[phatram]

I'm going to work now to earn my corn for my family and to pay my taxes to pay for others peoples families and then supplement the local authority 'cos they don't !

I also pay council tax, so I think I pay out a helluva lot.

I only ask for my wife along with the many others who foster to be treated equally to other workers!

This is something a lot of you guys seem to misunderstand.

[Saffronflowers]

all people are equal but some are more equal than others -

 

I hate a chat with my friend who fosters regarding this thread, and she said she agreed it was costly but she did not do it for the money, she refused any bursery on the children she adopted and her biggest fear was those that viewed fostering as a proffesion not "the chance to change a child's life"

 

Phatram - this is a general discussion area and you cannot stipulate who does or does not post on your thread. Nobody has been offensive or abusivew so it cannot be moderated. We can all have opinions that are valid even if you disagree.

 

The saddest thing I find about this thread is that you have not stated what fostering has given to you, what joy you have got out of it.

 

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[cal37]

I think the main point is, foster caring is not or should not be about making money. You indeed should not be out of pocket but I find it repulsive to think that people wish to make money out of these poor underprivileged children.

 

I spoke to a friend today who has fostered for many years and she is shocked and feels perhaps you should think long and hard about your future fostering.

 

Sorry but I have to agree with her on this.

 

I would also like to add, my brother who has two teenagers wishes he could have £367 per child per week, he would give up work right away. This is because he earns about £350 per week to keep a family of four and that’s paying a mortgage too.

[Saffronflowers]

Cos your special!!

 

SFx

[Saffronflowers]

TT - tis both a husband & wife posting with the same user name - confuddled? I am but situation normal here!

 

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[phatram]

This seems to be getting very muddled!

We are seeking support, along with The Fostercare Association, from foster carers to lobby Government to establish Foster Care as a profession, alongside other child protection establishments. We are told we now have to be more professional in our job and accordingly seek the "benefits" associated with a profession. I gave up my profession, K22 per annum, to devote myself to the youngsters I am proud to have helped, so do not think I do this "for the money".

The allowance granted per child is split as follows:-

Clothing & footwear £46.92

food £47.15

Utilities £28.06

Pocket money & leisure £28.40

Child care £37.04

Attendance of meetings£18.75

Travel £1875

Personal Care £10.10

Insurance/repairs 28.06

The rest of the allowance is my wage. As most of the children we deal with are very extreme cases, the cost of repairs, mortgage (because you cannot get a normal mortgage being self employed) travel to hospital, psycologists etc make caring for a child in care more costly than your own. Normally, if you do not have enough money spare, you can say to your own children "your pocket money will have to be a couple of pounds less this week" etc we are not allowed to do this - the children MUST receive their allowance of clothing, pocket money, personal care items, leisure payments etc.

I love my job, having helped some 35 youngsters, and their babies, and would not consider doing anything else. I just want people to appreciate my skills, my time and my love of the children I care for.

[Demtootief]

The reason I am going to come back on this one is because I thought I had read all the posts but haven't. As a foster carer I do understand to a point what Phatram is trying to say, and I think that he feels as if he is being attacked all for wanting what is really rightfully his. Howver I do also agree with many of the posts which are basically saying that Fostering is and really should be a 'calling', just as I think teaching and nursing are. Some professions do call for a lot of hard 'slog' with little or no justice in terms of payment, however as I said before, I do not do what I do for money and I get it every day in the ears from my two older sons who think that I have raised them and really do not need the verbal abuse and stress that I get from the two kids that I foster, however as I have often said to them, I do not expect any repayment in this life. And finanlly someone did say this in one of their post, if something were to happen to me and God forbid, my 11 year old son had to go into foster care, I really do hope that the foster parents will show him the same level of love and comittment that I give to the kids I have now, so I guess that thought is payment enough for me.