Foster Carers

[bed32]

Do those of you who foster have children of your own?

 

I've always thought that the ideal is bring a foster child into a family alongside natural children, but these days I wonder what the impact of that would be on the existing children

[phatram]

My 2 daughters started fostering when they were 8 & 10, they are now 19 & 23! I think it has really opened their eyes as to how fortunate they have been in life - stability, love etc - but also it has shown them a lot that perhaps young children should not have seen - sexual abuse, alcoholism, drugs abuse, neglect etc. We have cared for so many children, my daughters tell me I will never be a Grandma - we have totally put them off!!

[phatram]

The reason I am going to come back on this one is because I thought I had read all the posts but haven't. As a foster carer I do understand to a point what Phatram is trying to say, and I think that he feels as if he is being attacked all for wanting what is really rightfully his. Howver I do also agree with many of the posts which are basically saying that Fostering is and really should be a 'calling', just as I think teaching and nursing are. Some professions do call for a lot of hard 'slog' with little or no justice in terms of payment, however as I said before, I do not do what I do for money and I get it every day in the ears from my two older sons who think that I have raised them and really do not need the verbal abuse and stress that I get from the two kids that I foster, however as I have often said to them, I do not expect any repayment in this life. And finanlly someone did say this in one of their post, if something were to happen to me and God forbid, my 11 year old son had to go into foster care, I really do hope that the foster parents will show him the same level of love and comittment that I give to the kids I have now, so I guess that thought is payment enough for me.

 

Again, very well said.

But please remember nurses and teachers have employment rights, we have none.

They also do not pay for their patients/pupils rising costs while they are in hospital/school.

Our supervising social worker has basically said we have to deal with the price increases from the allowances given, but how do we do that without breaking the strict rules concerning that money not being ours but being the childs?

Only a small percentage of monies received by us are our "payment for skills"(taxable income) which is for us to pay for our living expenses.

How are we supposed to pay for the extra costs incurred by the looked after children? We and many other foster carers are in the same position and cannot afford to subsidise the local authorities any more.They need to up the allowances to reflect the costs incurred by "their" children, not expect foster carers to pay for it from their wages.

I hope that clears things up a little.

[phatram]

I think the main point is, foster caring is not or should not be about making money. You indeed should not be out of pocket but I find it repulsive to think that people wish to make money out of these poor underprivileged children.

 

I spoke to a friend today who has fostered for many years and she is shocked and feels perhaps you should think long and hard about your future fostering.

 

Sorry but I have to agree with her on this.

 

I would also like to add, my brother who has two teenagers wishes he could have £367 per child per week, he would give up work right away. This is because he earns about £350 per week to keep a family of four and that’s paying a mortgage too.

 

Do you also think doctors and nurses are wrong for making a living out of the sick?

We are not on about making money, we are on about local government paying for the upkeep of children they have taken into care.

I work and earn a lot less than £350 a week but its ok I will use my pittance to subsidise the council eh?

Mr P

[phatram]

all people are equal but some are more equal than others -

 

I hate a chat with my friend who fosters regarding this thread, and she said she agreed it was costly but she did not do it for the money, she refused any bursery on the children she adopted and her biggest fear was those that viewed fostering as a proffesion not "the chance to change a child's life"

 

Phatram - this is a general discussion area and you cannot stipulate who does or does not post on your thread. Nobody has been offensive or abusivew so it cannot be moderated. We can all have opinions that are valid even if you disagree.

 

The saddest thing I find about this thread is that you have not stated what fostering has given to you, what joy you have got out of it.

 

SFx

 

I did not stipulate, I asked.

We know lots of foster carers who feel the same way, how many do you know?

Just imagine foster carers going on strike, believe me some of you would be in for a rude awakening!

[phatram]

The saddest thing I find about this thread is that you have not stated what fostering has given to you, what joy you have got out of it.

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Its not about what we get out of it , its about improving the lives of the children, helping to repair the damage etc.

We love caring for the children, always will but we can't afford to pay for them as well.

[PriorityOne]

How much would you like to receive per child, per week, out of interest ?

[Demtootief]

I have to agree with what Phatram is saying. As a Foster Carer (doing a very exceptional job I know), I should expect for the Local Authority to pay for the children that they put in my care. Local Authorities need to understand that they can't have it both ways - Foster Carer stay at home and not be allowed to work, however Foster Carer does not receive a proper wage/salary for what they do. The children in my care are both at school, one is fairly settled in mainstream, while the other one is in a Special Educational Needs school, however am not allowed to work (not even part time) to supplement my income - even though I am a highly qualified individual. One Social Worker had the audacity to say to me that 'I get paid a lot of money'. This after I have a child who has totally halted my social life. I am not complaining, as I took on this job and love it 'warts and all', however what I take serious offence to is the SW who comes around once every six months if I am lucky to tell me how lucky I am with the money I get. I have spoken to other Foster Carers who are absolutely fed up with the way in which we are treated.

 

As a Foster Carer, I do not smoke, do not got to the pub, do not have a social life, cannot have friends round because the Foster chidlren have not yet learned how to be social.........but all in all I say.....I am grateful for the little that I can do for these children and do hope that I will be able to see them through to adulthood.

 

And PriorityOne, I do think that it is unfair to ask 'How much.......out of interest? When I decided to take up Fostering, I did not do it for the money involved, otherwise I would have stayed in a job where if I got up in the morning and I did not like the way the weather looked I could phone in and say that I did not feel well, and the company would still get on without me - I was not indispensible, however in many instances, Foster Carers are the real link that keeps these vulnerable and troubled children together, and until this is realised, Foster CArers will go on to be thought of as 'money grabbing vultures' as is being intimated by many of the users who have wrote in on this thread.

 

To answer your question PriotityOne: As a Foster CArer, I would like to see my salary being differentiated from the Allowances that belong to these children. Until this is done, people like you will go one to believe that Foster Carers are 'loaded' because they get all this money (i.e £367 per child per week), but in essence, how much of that is actually the Foster Carer's?

[phatram]

I would just like the local authority to increase the utility payment per child by the 26% my bill has increased, and the food allowance to increase by the current rate of increase incurred by everyone. I am paying the increase for myself and my family already.

[phatram]

Demtootief

~Thanks for your support! I don't think many people realise the essential job we do - yes it is a job as I have to survive!- and just how committed we are to these vulnerable children. I too do not smoke, rarely am able to go out (trying to find police checked babysitters is not easy), and tend to be very isolated in my job. Saying that, I really could not imagine doing anything else - I just want to be recognised for the work I do!

[PriorityOne]

No offence was intended by the question.... am just curious. I have not called anyone a "money-grabbing vulture" and assume the rules must have been tightened up in recent years re. what you do with the money for these kids, as several year back... I knew of one foster carer who very openly blew the money on all sorts, but gave her foster kids nothing for their lunch during the school hols. and dressed them in rags.

 

Not all foster carers show the commmitment that it requires.... that's an assumption. Could be why the rules have been tightened up and why the genuine ones now find it harder to manage.

 

Difficult subject....

[Saffronflowers]

Clothing & footwear £46.92 - £2548 a year for clothes per child

food £47.15 - 406 a month for two children!!! I feed four people and three dogs for £240 tops

Utilities £28.06 - £ 1456 per child for a year

Pocket money & leisure £28.40 - £1476 per child per year

Child care £37.04 - £1924 per child per year (what is child care for?)

Attendance of meetings£18.75 are there meetins every week?

Travel £1875 -

Personal Care £10.10

Insurance/repairs 28.06 - 1459 per child per annum -

 

So from that do you have to give all the receipts of what you actually spend and any monies that are not spent to the Local Authority or if there is any shortfall do you get to keep the monies? I cannot see how you are losing monies and having to supplement these allowances, or maybe I missing something or maybe I am very frugal.

 

SFx

[phatram]

The children who arrive with us often have no clothes whatsoever, so to kit them out can cost £200+. We are expected to buy the same clothes as our own children, always branded labels etc and I do always keep the receipts for local authorities to see. I always log every penny spent and have to save a suitable amount each week in a bank account for when they leave care. The children know just how much they are entitled to (bearing in mind we care for older teenagers/young mums) and will complain to SWs if they are not given the full amount. This goes for pocket money, leisure monies, personal care items etc.

At the moment we pay £110 per month for gas & electric so these amounts are just about covering their share of costs.

I find it very worrying that we are setting up these children to fail as they get so used to having loads of money thrown at them, but when they reach 18 (21 in some cases) they can be simply discarded by Social Services and left to fend for themselves, it doesn't seem right but these are the rules we have to follow.

Child care is for paying "baby sitters", as often, even though we are talking about teenagers, for many reasons they are not allowed to be left with eachother. Finding suitable people, who are Police Checked, to sit with 2/3 teenagers is not easy!

We have meeting weekly, sometimes 2 or 3, and not having a car, taxi travel/bus fares soon adds up.

Our mortgage rate is always 2-3% above everyone elses as we are classed as self-employed, not having a regular income, and our insurance premiums are higher as we are foster carers (more damage to home & belongings from traumatised youngsters)

[Saffronflowers]

My girls have just asked to be Fostered - they want designer lables have just worked out how much a week they could get from Primark!!! They have also asked for increase in pocket money with a no chore clause attatched!

 

I have not had time to read your post properly and the above is in jest - I will later when I have time and not being harrased by the incumbants in my house!!

 

SFx

[PriorityOne]

Sorry Phatram... but I'm slowly losing sympathy for you. "Brand labels" ?? .... giving in to demands like these teaches kids nothing; your own or anyone elses ! No wonder we're creating a nation of feral young people with no respect for things/other people.

 

You say that the children know what they're "entitled to" ? If you want to take that line of thinking, then surely all the children in the land are "entitled" to every single penny of Child Benefit money that goes to parents.... yet logic tells most of us that it usually gets merged in with other household income. Jeez ! If the kids want to complain to Social Workers... then let them !

 

I'm not entrely sure you've got all your facts right anyway. I work with a chap and his wife, who foster 2 teenage kids and both hold down term-time jobs at the same time.... They also have kids of their own, so why aren't you "allowed" to take on work ?

 

.... and if you're required to attend 2-3 meetings each week, then why on earth are you not claiming expenses for these ?

 

Over £2K allowance for CLOTHES ?

 

Gobsmacked.... .... won't even touch on the rest tonight....

 

Totally lost for words....

[phatram]

My own children received all of their child benefit each month to buy their own clothes, make-up, toiletries etc - this is teaching them to be responsible! Why should foster children be treated any differently? We work for an Agency and specialise in caring for young adults (14-18, including offenders, young mums of 15, permanently excluded children etc who local authorities CANNOT place because of their behaviour - that's why one of us HAS to be at home 24/7 and is not allowed to work. My husband works and enjoys the break!

It seems silly that I receive the same allowance for a "man" of 16 for clothing and food as I would for a child of 3 doesn't it - and these issues are what we are trying to raise with the Government. Unfortunately, the young people we care for will probably never work (some exceptions obviously) and are already so aware of their human rights, benefits( this of course is drilled into them by social workers so as to protect them?) they will be able to claim when they leave us, and housing they can rely on - it is frightening and a reflection of the sad society we live in today. I think we throw far too much money at them - a lot of which is wasted on cigarettes (even though they are not old enough to smoke)& phone credit! - but we are legally bound to pass on that money (for clothes, pocket money, leisure, toiletries etc) directly to them. I suppose with younger children this would not happen.

We are trying so hard to re-educate these young people so they can function in Society, but the system really does not help them, does it?

Mrs P

[phatram]

Sorry Phatram... but I'm slowly losing sympathy for you.

 

How do you work that one out P1? We do as our "employers" say, they make the rules not us !

You clearly have no idea what you are talking about in this instance.

[phatram]

You say that the children know what they're "entitled to" ? If you want to take that line of thinking, then surely all the children in the land are "entitled" to every single penny of Child Benefit money that goes to parents.... yet logic tells most of us that it usually gets merged in with other household income. Jeez ! If the kids want to complain to Social Workers... then let them !

 

 

And what do you think happens when they do?

[phatram]

And as for child benefit, what a farce that is. Think of the thousands of parents who happily accept this benefit when they dont need to.

Our combined earnings are well below the official poverty figure. There are many in this country who earn far far more but still accept this handout.

[phatram]

Over £2K allowance for CLOTHES ?

 

And why not?

[Bookworm]

Over £2K allowance for CLOTHES ?

 

And why not?

 

How about because that's close enough what the law says is the minimum someone needs to live on on Income Support? If you really can't see why not, I think everyone is wasting their time on this thread, frankly.

 

As for giving your own children their child benefit to teach them to be responsible, I am sorry, but that is doing completely the opposite! Effectively, you are giving them more than they would be expected to have to spare if they were on the breadline, and if I understand you right, getting it with nothing to earn it in exchange. What's going to happen when they turn 16 or 19 and the CB stops?

 

You seem to think Child Benefit is the children's to spend, and that is so wrong. Child Benefit is awarded to the parents/carers as an -inadequate- contribution to the cost a child represents, it's not meant as "pocket money" for the child.

 

[2p]

[phatram]

How about because that's close enough what the law says is the minimum someone needs to live on on Income Support? If you really can't see why not, I think everyone is wasting their time on this thread, frankly.

 

Its not a case of what we say, think or can see. It is a case of us doing as we are told, as with every other "employee" in the land.

Do you think we agree with this amount of cash? I had you down as someone far more intuitive and knowledgable than to reach that conclusion.

As for the thread, I did ask if any FOSTER CARERS needed any help etc to post, but perhaps they have been frightened off by the usual misconceptions and me me me attitude of some of the posters.

These kids have done NOTHING wrong, it is NOT their fault they are in care.

Again if any FOSTER CARERS feel you are in need of any help in any way please PM me.

The Fostering Network needs your views!

[phatram]

How about because that's close enough what the law says is the minimum someone needs to live on on Income Support?

 

That would be an adult would it ?

And what other benefits would they receive?

Housing benefit?

Council tax benefit?

Subsidised travel?

Free prescriptions?

etc etc.

[Lula]

As for the thread, I did ask if any FOSTER CARERS

needed any help etc to post, but perhaps they have been frightened off by the usual misconceptions and me me me attitude of some of the posters.

 

 

I rather think that you are the one that is giving the "me me me" attitude.

 

Again if any FOSTER CARERS feel you are in need of any help in any way please PM me.

The Fostering Network needs your views!

 

Sorry? since when did we get to say who is allowed and prohibted from posting on a thread?

[phatram]

I rather think that you are the one that is giving the "me me me" attitude.

If by sticking up for foster carers then so be it !

 

 

Sorry? since when did we get to say who is allowed and prohibted from posting on a thread?

 

Well I have seen people get reprimanded for posting in the wrong thread. Why is it so bad that I try to start a thread for foster carers?

If you cant say anything constructive then perhaps you should post somewhere else?