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Suspended me for mis-use of discount card!


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Hi there

 

I was wondering if anyone could answer a couple of questions for me, yesterday I was hauled into the managers office and told I was being suspended on full pay due to an allegation of misusing my discount card at the supermarket I work for...

 

Short story, my mother paid for my shopping that day as my partner left his job and we are really struggling on just my wage and the WTC we get so she offered to pay for half of my shopping for me, I have both my receipt and hers (which includes baby milk and she is 70 yrs old like she would be buying that).. Anyway they told me I was not allowed to enter the store while suspended and escorted me from the building! I felt so small being marched out via the tills where all my work friends where, all staring at me because i was clearly upset!

 

Anyway I have an appointment today to investigate the incident...

 

What I wondered was as its not formally a disciplinary hearing will I be required to work after the hearing even though they have suspended me if they do not take it any further, no one has told me if I am to turn up in work clothes or just casual clothes, I have no idea what to do, I am taking in a friend with me who works for them as I don't want to go in alone!

 

I have a letter stating that I am suspended on full pay until further notice so surely they would need to send me another letter formally lifting the suspension before I am allowed to return to work?

 

I am looking for other work now as well, as they basically made me feel like a criminal, marching me out like that, they could of took me around the back of the store to minimise contact with anyone else but I felt like they did that just so people saw me leaving like that..

 

Also yesterday was an overtime day, because they suspended me anyone know if they will actually pay me for yesterday even though it wasn't one of my normal work days?

 

Hopefully I can tell them to stick their job pretty soon as I think I may have something else lined up already :)

 

Thanks for any help I am so stressed about this I have been working for them for 2 years now and have never done anything wrong in my life!

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Where you with your mum when she purchased the shopping for you. Who paid for both lots of shopping. Was it your mum, if so, and she use your discount card for both lots of shopping and her name was not one of the signatory on the discount card then that would be an offence and not just for you, but also the person that serving her as the signature should have been cheked before payment of the goods.

 

About going into work ring them and asked what the situation is regarding this as you are unsure because of the letter you received.

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Where you with your mum when she purchased the shopping for you. Who paid for both lots of shopping. Was it your mum, if so, and she use your discount card for both lots of shopping and her name was not one of the signatory on the discount card then that would be an offence and not just for you, but also the person that serving her as the signature should have been cheked before payment of the goods.

 

About going into work ring them and asked what the situation is regarding this as you are unsure because of the letter you received.

 

I was with my mum yes, I paid for half the shopping myself and she paid for the other half for me.. So the first time because I paid would of been fine because I am on the card, the second time however I would think not because even though it was MY shopping my mum paid for it!

 

Not sure why I am expected to ring in, I think I will just turn up in smart clothes and no work uniform I am suspended so I should not be expected to work that evening really..

 

I am so stressed out with it all I am seriously thinking about getting the doctor to sign me off for a while, I cannot face going back there just yet if at all!

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Hello there, sorry to hear about your problem. Can you tell us what it says in your employee handbook about all this?

 

I hope you do find another job that you will like better.

 

HB

 

I have actually read the handbook and I am in the wrong doing it, I am not going to say otherwise either to them but because they are saying it wasn't my shopping I will be contesting it..

 

I may have already found one, just need to wait a couple of weeks which I may just get the doc to sign me off for as I am sooo stressed with it all and I have a heart condition to and its not doing that any good worrying about it at all! :(

 

Sry for double post too!

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I was with my mum yes, I paid for half the shopping myself and she paid for the other half for me.. So the first time because I paid would of been fine because I am on the card, the second time however I would think not because even though it was MY shopping my mum paid for it!

 

The person that served your mum dis he/she know who she was and that was the reason she got served using your discount card. If this is the case then that perosn is in troluble also for not checking the signaure on the card.

 

Not sure why I am expected to ring in, I think I will just turn up in smart clothes and no work uniform I am suspended so I should not be expected to work that evening really..

 

I would bring your unform with you saying that you were not sure what the procedue was and also you were unsure of the procedure about your discount card also. I know you want leave as soon as possible but you will need a reference and if that is the case just be a nice as possible to them and say that you are now aware of the procedue this will not happen again.

I am so stressed out with it all I am seriously thinking about getting the doctor to sign me off for a while, I cannot face going back there just yet if at all!

 

It certainly OTT of them to march you out of the store in full view of your colleagues. You have to be very careful nowadays as employers are looking to sack people due to recession. I would try and brasen it out until you get a referene from them. Be as accommodating as you with them well until you leave anyway.

 

Let me know how you get on at the hearing

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Well guys that was awful, they have dragged up every single time I have used my discount card in the last few months, of which my mum has been buying my shopping for me for months as my partner was off ill and has recently left his job, I tried to explain this to them and say I have not been able to survive without her help basically we would of gone under or starved..

 

I am a little annoyed by them doing this though as in the first letter it stated a date that they wanted to investigate are they actually allowed to drag up past transactions like that without telling me in the letter?, they caught me totally off guard I was really shocked and very uncomfortable telling a manager about my personal finance's when in all honestly it has nothing at all to do with them..

 

They even asked me what washing up liquid and soup and bread I buy I felt like some kind of petty criminal! They made me feel like I shouldn't be using my discount and even asked me why I had used it three times in one day, the local xxxxxx is literally up the road from me and I use it all the time even four times in one day sometimes!

 

Anyway they are taking it further I have another meeting on Wednesday to go through the whole thing again, like the fist time as not enough, I have handed my card back in and told them I don't want it anymore which I don't if they are that bothered about a couple of hundred quid I saved on it when I have spent over 4000 there they can shove it! Funny thing is all that money I spent I would not have spent it there had I not worked for them as beforehand I never used to shop with them, needless to say they have lost my loyalty as a customer and my mums!

 

Ok so I do actually have a question if they dismiss me on Wednesday I have the right to appeal yes? If I appeal will they still pay me? I know its a biut cheeky to ask this but I really need to string this out for as long as I can as the other job I have lined up has not been totally confirmed!

 

Personaly if I appeal I will state about them not making me aware this was about the last few months and not just the date that they stated on the letter this in itself is totally unfair in my eyes, they did it to try and catch me out I think!

 

Oh and they marched me out again which is so wrong and I will be making a complaint about to head office! I was fine to walk in on my own so sorry I am fine to walk out alone as well!

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Hi hazyeyes

 

Try not to stew on the matter, you will get good advice in the coming days. Are you in the Union?

You need to get hold of the Employee Handbook. If they do dismiss you, you have a right to Appeal.

Further, you can take the matter to an Employment Tribunal. Do other employees use the discount card

in a similar manner? I have no doubt they do.

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Me personally I would enter a greivance at how they have handled the situation, I had a similar experience whilst working for Tesco, I will add I no longer work for them because of the appaling way they treat their staff. Anyhow I brought some shopping from the store i used to work at, I used my discount card and the debit card I was trying to use was out of date I didn't have any other card with me at the time as my new one was at home, however my sister was with me and she used her card to compete the transaction, to which I thought was purely a situation as to avoid embarassment to me and prevent delay to customers behind me.

 

Next day on going to work I was dragged into the office and was given a date and time to attend a meeting to discuss the matter, basicly they tried to give me a written warning over the issue but the instore and area union rep got it dropped as Tesco had no proof and the onus of proof is with them to prove the shopping was for my sister and she was to gain benefit from it.

 

I am sure if you enter a greivance highlighting the agreement between yourself and mother to meet half of your shopping costs in light of your personal circumstances, point out how they would have known any different had you paid in cash, and point out the onus is one them to provide strict proof your mother gained any benefit from the transaction/s in question? did they follow you or your mother home and witness half the goods delivered to your mothers address? I think not. Put the burden of proof on them its been made too easy for them to put you at blame they need strict proof of any personal gain they claim your mother has had. You will need this if they decide to take action against you or you wish to take action against them at an Employment Tribunal.

Edited by nicolee2931
Typo error
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BTW I also forgot to mention you have a right to see the same information that they have in order to defend yourself, for example ask to see a list of the transaction which they have used in their investigations or ask for them all if they deny you this then thats the first very serious mistake they have made.

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Well guys that was awful, they have dragged up every single time I have used my discount card in the last few months, of which my mum has been buying my shopping for me for months as my partner was off ill and has recently left his job, I tried to explain this to them and say I have not been able to survive without her help basically we would of gone under or starved..

 

I am a little annoyed by them doing this though as in the first letter it stated a date that they wanted to investigate are they actually allowed to drag up past transactions like that without telling me in the letter?, they caught me totally off guard I was really shocked and very uncomfortable telling a manager about my personal finance's when in all honestly it has nothing at all to do with them..

 

Problem is that if your personal finances are the reason for the breach of your Terms and Conditions, then it becomes their business. Put yourself in their position. There is a degree of suspicion that somebody other than the person who is entitled has benefited from a staff discount. This is in the same class of offence as theft if proved. You have been asked to account for the purchases and your mitigation is the fact that you have been in financial difficulty. Your alternative is to say nothing - this would mean that your financial situation remains your business, but your silence will not help with the investigation that could result in your dismissal.

 

I don't quite understand why you are surprised at the fact that previous transactions have been looked at. The company is investigating a suspected case of Gross Misconduct and any investigation would be negligent if it didn't seek to establish whether this is an isolated incident or whether part of a more systemic fraud over a long period of time.

 

They even asked me what washing up liquid and soup and bread I buy I felt like some kind of petty criminal! They made me feel like I shouldn't be using my discount and even asked me why I had used it three times in one day, the local sainsburys is literally up the road from me and I use it all the time even four times in one day sometimes!

 

Pretty standard stuff really as they are purchases where one would expect there to be little deviation unless for a particular reason - say a special offer. If one normally buys a 70p bottle of washing up liquid, but only two days after doing so has bought another bottle, this time a more expensive brand at £1.20, then it would not be unreasonable to ask why this might have been. If you answer that it was on special offer, then this can be checked. If that purchase was also with other goods that you have very rarely bought over several months of shopping, then it is possible, just possible that you may have been allowing somebody else to get shopping on your account. These cards capture an extraordinary amount of data - what you buy and when, how much you spend and how many items (you would be surprised how little this can deviate), what type of promotions normally attract your attention. It isn't a precise science by any stretch, but as supporting evidence in a case like this, it is invaluable. Even in terms of payment - cash or card? If a card, was it the same card used for every transaction? If somebody else's card, whose? All factors which could help to support a theory.

 

Anyway they are taking it further I have another meeting on Wednesday to go through the whole thing again, like the fist time as not enough, I have handed my card back in and told them I don't want it anymore which I don't if they are that bothered about a couple of hundred quid I saved on it when I have spent over 4000 there they can shove it! Funny thing is all that money I spent I would not have spent it there had I not worked for them as beforehand I never used to shop with them, needless to say they have lost my loyalty as a customer and my mums!

 

Ok so I do actually have a question if they dismiss me on Wednesday I have the right to appeal yes? If I appeal will they still pay me? I know its a biut cheeky to ask this but I really need to string this out for as long as I can as the other job I have lined up has not been totally confirmed!

 

Of couse you have the right to appeal, but you would not be paid from the date of dismissal unless the appeal was successful.

 

Personaly if I appeal I will state about them not making me aware this was about the last few months and not just the date that they stated on the letter this in itself is totally unfair in my eyes, they did it to try and catch me out I think!

 

But would these be adequate grounds for appeal? The fact that you disagree with the manner of the investigation would not be relevant, and 'catching you out' is often a necessary part of such an investigation. Trying to find holes in a defence is all part and parcel I'm afraid, and the key factor is whether you did what you are accused of or not. An appeal should be on the basis that you are not guilty and provide details in support of that assertion.

 

Oh and they marched me out again which is so wrong and I will be making a complaint about to head office! I was fine to walk in on my own so sorry I am fine to walk out alone as well!

 

I agree that you should have been treated with dignity, but in terms of an employee suspended under an allegation of this type, they would feel entitled to make sure that your exit is controlled in such a manner that you did not cause problems within the store on the way out. They may sympathise with your position, but a complaint is unlikely to go anywhere unless you were in any way manhandled, restrained or abused.

 

The key points that you need to look at are whether what you have done is in any way wrong. As far as I am aware, the discount scheme is solely for the benefit of the employee and the employee's household, and purchases must be made by the employee and not on their behalf. If you were present at the time of the transactions then the fact that your mum paid for them is not the main point (she could, after all have just given you cash before you got to the checkout and nobody would be any the wiser). The fact that it has been brought to the employer's attention that your mum paid for the goods has led to a suspicion that some of those purchases might not have been solely for your benefit. That is the point that you have to work on. If ALL of those goods were yours, then you have not done anything wrong. If 99% of the items were yours, but you allowed your mum to include even one item that was for her personal use (the loaf of bread, washing up liquid, or soup for example), then you have breached the terms of the discount scheme and it matters not whether the financial gain is a £1 or £1000.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost sympathy, but whilst this may be an emotional situation, it is facts and correct procedure that count, not how you feel about the way that the investigation arrives at it's conclusion.

 

nicolee makes some very valid points above - it is all about evidence and procedure. They are entitled to ask questions in order to form a reasonable belief that the offence occurred, and you must do whatever you can to prove that you were the only person to benefit. Don't forget that the employer only needs reasonable grounds to suspect, not proof beyond reasonable doubt.

 

You should though get Usdaw involved if you are a member.

Any advice given is done so on the assumption that recipients will also take professional advice where appropriate.

 

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Hi hazyeyes

 

Try not to stew on the matter, you will get good advice in the coming days. Are you in the Union?

You need to get hold of the Employee Handbook. If they do dismiss you, you have a right to Appeal.

Further, you can take the matter to an Employment Tribunal. Do other employees use the discount card

in a similar manner? I have no doubt they do.

 

I know other employees use the discount in the same manner, I have witnessed it on many occasions, they do not empathise enough how much staff need to check against the signatures on the back, none of the staff do it including myself and I am actually guilty of letting a customer through doing the exact same thing I am being accused of right now!

 

I am not in the union no, but I am going to phone the CAB on Monday and see if I can go and discuss it with them to see what I can do if they do dismiss me!

 

Me personally I would enter a greivance at how they have handled the situation, I had a similar experience whilst working for Tesco, I will add I no longer work for them because of the appaling way they treat their staff. Anyhow I brought some shopping from the store i used to work at, I used my discount card and the debit card I was trying to use was out of date I didn't have any other card with me at the time as my new one was at home, however my sister was with me and she used her card to compete the transaction, to which I thought was purely a situation as to avoid embarassment to me and prevent delay to customers behind me.

 

Next day on going to work I was dragged into the office and was given a date and time to attend a meeting to discuss the matter, basicly they tried to give me a written warning over the issue but the instore and area union rep got it dropped as Tesco had no proof and the onus of proof is with them to prove the shopping was for my sister and she was to gain benefit from it.

 

I am sure if you enter a greivance highlighting the agreement between yourself and mother to meet half of your shopping costs in light of your personal circumstances, point out how they would have known any different had you paid in cash, and point out the onus is one them to provide strict proof your mother gained any benefit from the transaction/s in question? did they follow you or your mother home and witness half the goods delivered to your mothers address? I think not. Put the burden of proof on them its been made too easy for them to put you at blame they need strict proof of any personal gain they claim your mother has had. You will need this if they decide to take action against you or you wish to take action against them at an Employment Tribunal.

 

This is really good advice thank you the only benefit my mum got from buying half my shopping for all these months was the points on her nectar card, which in all honestly was the least I could of done for her because she was paying for it. They know that she used her card as they have told me her card was used against the transactions made after I had put my part through!

 

I was wondering if it would be advantageous for me to get my mum to write me a letter to explain the arrangement we had over the last months (probably 6ish) and take that with me on Wednesday for them to look at, at least that way I have some kinda back up that she is saying she paid for my shopping for me, even though they probably won't believe it because she is my mother!

 

Its hard not to stress and stew over the situation, my mum has said to me that she feels so guilty and that its her fault she is totally distraught by it all, I have told her its not her fault at all! I will go to the CAB see what they have to say on the matter and then see what happens on Wednesday, if they sack me I will fight it because I think I have been very unfairly treated on so many levels by them, I have worked hard for them in the past, stayed over regularly 10 mins late and not got paid for it, done overtime when they begged me to as they where so short staffed, always meet my targets etc and this is how I get repaid by them, I know they have procedure's and I respect that but they have no right to treat me like some petty thief they just arrested on the shop floor for nicking a packet of biscuits!

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The key points that you need to look at are whether what you have done is in any way wrong. As far as I am aware, the discount scheme is solely for the benefit of the employee and the employee's household, and purchases must be made by the employee and not on their behalf. If you were present at the time of the transactions then the fact that your mum paid for them is not the main point (she could, after all have just given you cash before you got to the checkout and nobody would be any the wiser). The fact that it has been brought to the employer's attention that your mum paid for the goods has led to a suspicion that some of those purchases might not have been solely for your benefit. That is the point that you have to work on. If ALL of those goods were yours, then you have not done anything wrong. If 99% of the items were yours, but you allowed your mum to include even one item that was for her personal use (the loaf of bread, washing up liquid, or soup for example), then you have breached the terms of the discount scheme and it matters not whether the financial gain is a £1 or £1000.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost sympathy, but whilst this may be an emotional situation, it is facts and correct procedure that count, not how you feel about the way that the investigation arrives at it's conclusion.

 

nicolee makes some very valid points above - it is all about evidence and procedure. They are entitled to ask questions in order to form a reasonable belief that the offence occurred, and you must do whatever you can to prove that you were the only person to benefit. Don't forget that the employer only needs reasonable grounds to suspect, not proof beyond reasonable doubt.

 

You should though get Usdaw involved if you are a member.

 

Thanks for your advice, I like to be honest and I have already told them that maybe on a few occasions a couple of things may have been my mum's shopping but seriously not amounting to much as she doesn't even shop at their stores she prefers the cheaper options!

 

Personally I think they have already made their minds up and they will sack me on Wednesday, if they do I was wondering does anyone know if I am entilted to any benefits, my partner just started another job of 10hr a week, we have two kids (2 and 13) a mortgage pay council tax etc..

 

I have to get prepared because if they do sack me things are gonna get even worse for us, our outgoings are about £600per month!

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QUOTE=hazyeyes;3195723]Thanks for your advice, I like to be honest and I have already told them that maybe on a few occasions a couple of things may have been my mum's shopping but seriously not amounting to much as she doesn't even shop at their stores she prefers the cheaper options!

I cannot understand why the person serving your mum did not check the signature on the the card. Perhaps this is not a requirement at your store.

 

Personally I think they have already made their minds up and they will sack me on Wednesday, if they do I was wondering does anyone know if I am entilted to any benefits, my partner just started another job of 10hr a week, we have two kids (2 and 13) a mortgage pay council tax etc..

I still think it was OTT the way they treated you before you even gave them an explanation. You could have given these items to your mum as a gifts and how are they to know better.

 

I have to get prepared because if they do sack me things are gonna get even worse for us, our outgoings are about £600per month!

 

I would try and defend yourself, although I am not 100% sure benefits maybe stopped due to being dismissed, but it is worth checking.

 

You say that other colleagues do the same thing, therefore I think the way the treated you was to show them that will not be tolerated and it was unfortunately it was you that has to carry the can.

 

Hope it goes well for you.

 

Sidewinder the OP did not say what store she worked in but as far as I am aware it is Tesco that the union Usdaw and from what I have read about them it is not worth the bother in contacting them for help.:sad:

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I always thought Sainsburys were a good bunch to work for and mainly Tesco were the menace to ill treatment of staff, how wrong was I. Like I said earlier they have to prove you deliberately set out benefit your mother of discounted goods, your mothers involvement was only in aid to your personal circmstances which was to contribute half towards your shopping expenses and as such should be considered as a gift. They have to prove there was a means to defraud and as said earlier you have the right to see everything they wish to use against you, I would start by entering a greivance to your treatment, your public humiliation, and a request to see anything they wish to use against you. I would point out you are putting them to strict proof that your mother benefited in any way to her kind offer of half payment towards your weekly shopping bill, put your point across if you had paid in cash how would they have known then?

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Strict proof is not required in employment cases - only reasonable doubt. It is not unreasonable for a supermarket to work on the basis that people pay for their own shopping, and even if it was, the OP has already told them that "maybe on a few occasions a couple of things may have been my mum's shopping" - which is a breach of the discount card scheme. They do not have to prove that there was an intention to defraud - they can prove that the OP presented a discount card for shopping which was not being paid for by her, and that is sufficient. I think you are missing the point that it does not matter who the shopping was for - the only person entitled to the discount from their bill was the OP.

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Strict proof is not required in employment cases - only reasonable doubt. It is not unreasonable for a supermarket to work on the basis that people pay for their own shopping, and even if it was, the OP has already told them that "maybe on a few occasions a couple of things may have been my mum's shopping" - which is a breach of the discount card scheme. They do not have to prove that there was an intention to defraud - they can prove that the OP presented a discount card for shopping which was not being paid for by her, and that is sufficient. I think you are missing the point that it does not matter who the shopping was for - the only person entitled to the discount from their bill was the OP.

 

But the bill was mine I just did not pay for it...

 

And yes I have admitted that a few things may have been my mums but only on the shopping that she bought for me this week as 4 items where her's all amounted to about 3 quid as well!

 

I know I have done wrong and I have tried to be as honest with them as possible without telling them all of my situation at home with my finances, maybe I should tell them the extent of it all, maybe then they will understand why my mum has been helping me out for many months!

 

I had no intention to defraud them I valued my job too much and surely they should realise this because of my circumstances! I just feel like I am being treated really badly and I have no desire for it to continue, hopefully the job that I have enquired about will come through pretty soon and I can just walk away from it all!

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But the bill was mine I just did not pay for it...

 

And yes I have admitted that a few things may have been my mums but only on the shopping that she bought for me this week as 4 items where her's all amounted to about 3 quid as well!

 

I know I have done wrong and I have tried to be as honest with them as possible without telling them all of my situation at home with my finances, maybe I should tell them the extent of it all, maybe then they will understand why my mum has been helping me out for many months!

 

I had no intention to defraud them I valued my job too much and surely they should realise this because of my circumstances! I just feel like I am being treated really badly and I have no desire for it to continue, hopefully the job that I have enquired about will come through pretty soon and I can just walk away from it all!

 

You employer probably got wind of the fact that you were looking for another job and used you as an example to other staff not to misuse their discount card. Tell your employer that you value you job and you like it, and hope that you can make amends and you will not gift anything to your mum without YOU paying for it first.

 

I do not think they will be interested in your finances so there is no need to tell them anything about that.

 

Best of Luck.

Edited by bonnygirl
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But the bill was mine I just did not pay for it... I have understood that that is what you have said. But as I said before, the test in law is reasonable doubt, not concrete evidence. The bill was your mum's because she paid for it, and that is a fact no matter who the shopping was for. And that is the breach on the discount card scheme, because the bill should have been paid by you - not paid for by someone else.

 

And yes I have admitted that a few things may have been my mums but only on the shopping that she bought for me this week as 4 items where her's all amounted to about 3 quid as well! Again, I understand - but the size of the breach doesn't matter. She bought some things and you allowed her to use your staff discount card when she is not entitled to it.

 

I know I have done wrong and I have tried to be as honest with them as possible without telling them all of my situation at home with my finances, maybe I should tell them the extent of it all, maybe then they will understand why my mum has been helping me out for many months! This is a matter of judgement, but I disagree that it is "none of their business! as others have said - you have made it their business by letting your mum use the discount card - no matter who the shopping for for. The "good reason" that exlains why someone has done something wrong is called mitigation, and the employer can choose to take it into account. So personally I would tell them because it could make a difference - and that difference could be the difference between keeping your job and loosing it. Your personal circumstances will not improve by loosing your job, and you know that.

 

I had no intention to defraud them I valued my job too much and surely they should realise this because of my circumstances! I just feel like I am being treated really badly and I have no desire for it to continue, hopefully the job that I have enquired about will come through pretty soon and I can just walk away from it all!

 

I can understand why you feel that way, but looking at it impartially, I can see the employers point of view too. You have broken the rules of your employment - big or little doesn't matter. And they have no idea about whether or why you might value your job - you are just another employee to them, and I am afraid that not all employees value their jobs, and nor does valuing your job have any relevance as to whether you did right or wrong.

 

I do not like to point this out to you, but you are going to have to swallow your pride and your embarassment and do whatever you can to keep your job. I had understood from previous posts that you already had another job - not that you had merely "enquired" about one. Putting aside how many people are looking for job right now, what do you think is going to happen to your reference here? From the moment this happened it could be mentioned on references, and any enquiry from a potential employer now could very easily mention disciplinary action - and almost certainly would mention a dismissal if that was the outcome. So if you can manage to convince the employer to not dismiss - and I think there is a real prospect that that you might if you tell the whole truth and why it happened - you may be stuck working there until you can get any disciplinary warning off your record.

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I can understand why you feel that way, but looking at it impartially, I can see the employers point of view too. You have broken the rules of your employment - big or little doesn't matter. And they have no idea about whether or why you might value your job - you are just another employee to them, and I am afraid that not all employees value their jobs, and nor does valuing your job have any relevance as to whether you did right or wrong.

 

I do not like to point this out to you, but you are going to have to swallow your pride and your embarassment and do whatever you can to keep your job. I had understood from previous posts that you already had another job - not that you had merely "enquired" about one. Putting aside how many people are looking for job right now, what do you think is going to happen to your reference here? From the moment this happened it could be mentioned on references, and any enquiry from a potential employer now could very easily mention disciplinary action - and almost certainly would mention a dismissal if that was the outcome. So if you can manage to convince the employer to not dismiss - and I think there is a real prospect that that you might if you tell the whole truth and why it happened - you may be stuck working there until you can get any disciplinary warning off your record.

 

I thought the law had changed about references I was told by someone not too long ago that they are not allowed to give me a bad reference they are allowed to refuse me a reference though, anyway the job I am looking into and waiting to hear about they don't want the reference from them anyway they are after my previous reference because its related to the job that I am looking to do, also my partner already works for them and also a good friend so I have two character references from them also.

 

I shall be telling them everything on Wednesday I have decided to basically come clean on all just so they know what my situation has been like over the last 6 months, if they sack me so be it I have survived much worse than this in the past and also survived on less money than I thought even possible, I am a strong person and I won't let this tarnish my future, if I say to them I like my job etc I would actually be lying but if I have to I will, I certainly won't be stuck working for them though to get it off my record as it takes a year and there is no way I am sticking around that long.

 

Thanks for everyones help, I will let you know what happens on Wednesday :|

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I'm a little confused now. In post #7 you said that the reason your mum was paying for the shopping was due to the fact that you re struggling financially because your partner lost his job after being off ill for some time. In your most recent post you say that he works for the employer you hope to go to work for. Is the incident they are investigating something that happened recently, or something that happened some time ago?

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It is always good to have a employment record with no breaks in it.

 

Why not write to your employer before Wednesday'sa meeting and tell them of your financial difficulties, it is much better that they have this in writing before the hearing becasuee these hearings can be stressful and intimidating and you may forget some of the things that you intended to tell them.

 

Also if you like you can get your mother to put her apologies in with your letter as well.

 

All the best and hope all goes well at the hearing.

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I thought the law had changed about references I was told by someone not too long ago that they are not allowed to give me a bad reference they are allowed to refuse me a reference though, anyway the job I am looking into and waiting to hear about they don't want the reference from them anyway they are after my previous reference because its related to the job that I am looking to do, also my partner already works for them and also a good friend so I have two character references from them also..

 

All that a reference HAS to be is truthful. If they are asked to provide details on why you left (as references usually do), then they would have to state that the reason. If they were asked whether you were the subject of disciplinary proceedings (once again, as they normally do) in the 12 months (or maybe longer) before leaving, then they would almost certainly say so. An employer can refuse to give a detailed reference, confirming only start and finish dates, or they can refuse a reference altogether - but neither of the latter two options would stand you in particularly good stead when hoping to gain employment, as they would be looking ideally for somebody with a positive work record, limited sickness absence and preferably not one who left under a cloud

Hopefully the new job will work out fine for you, but it really would be best to clear your name and leave at a time of your choosing, and with an unblemished record. Whilst the prospective employer here might not require a more detailed work history, the majority do, and things which happened a few years ago, can have a habit of haunting you.

Any advice given is done so on the assumption that recipients will also take professional advice where appropriate.

 

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