A question of morality in employment. Would you resign over this ?

[RogerHarris]

I resigned my part time position as a research assistant in a psychological care startup company last weekend

 

My boss (being a psychologist) is saying my actions are the result of a mental dysfunction. But he seems to accuse anybody that does anything that doesnt suit him as having a mental dysfunction, these days, so i thought i would get a random opinion from general members of the public here and ask what they would have done.

 

Heres the situation.

 

At the inception of the company my boss (alan), a trainee clinical psychologist and then purely a friend who sponsored my neuroscience research introduced me to the idea that he would like to go into private practise starting with a nursery. He said that he had a friend who would be a financial backer (jim) and painted a rosy looking picture including employment for me, for example research on childrens diets. He then took me to see this friend who has various small businesses, and i was asked if would design a website, and put in IT equipment etc for this guy, as i used to do that and have a few qualifications but had lost interest. I told them i had a job and didn’t do design work anymore but would make an exception, and do this as a favour for possible future collegues and a bit of break from other work. Yes I know what you are saying, you should never do that and yes the outcome did go belly up.

 

I had just about completed the job which took 3 weeks time off my other job, incurred various expenses and found out jim had disappeared to london, and could not be gotten hold of. He basically renaged on the deal and i recieved nothing. But not because he is short of cash, just because it didn’t suit him to pay because he lost interest. I put it down to experience that the guy was a time waster and left it. Too many other good things going on to really get hung up on it.

 

Wind forward several years. I am now working for alan part time and the care company is starting up. At this weekend Jim who alan says is now a good friend of his comes round. Jim is now to be a prospective backer of this nursery as planned all those years ago. So he will be funding something I will be working to build.

 

Jim has had nothing to say on the job he renaged on except minimum get out excuses he can get away with. I also have found out that Jim messes about other people in a similar manner, so it was not personal to my standard of work or conduct which going by my references is usually high.

 

Alan had recently said he would pay the money that jim owed (in a private gesture jim would not know about), but this was only recently after I had brought it up several times over the years. Alan doesnt want me to bring the issue up with jim in the business premises and sees it all as a private contract outwith his remit, even though he made the introduction setup the design job, painted us all as future colleages and was present when i gave a quotation for it. Still I do get his point.

 

In any case its not for Alan to pay this. It is for Jim to settle up voluntarily which he no intention of doing unless forced to. So to me its not about money any more. If Jim wanted to pay to show he is geniune then that gesture would mean something, but jim has nothing to say still. Its purely strategy for Alan to pay me privately. He wants to be completely nice to jim and not make any waves for the funding jim promises by having the situation brought up.

 

I take the stand that if Jim is backing the company, and this is where I stand, then I am out. I will not let Jim rip me off, then walk in years later, there be no ramifications for him and then to profit from my role in building or running that business.

 

I have resigned and feel i am justified in doing so. For several reasons.

 

A. Why should this guy get away with what he did, have to make no gesture, then walk in years later and let him profit indirectly from me. He already had one free bite.

 

B. If thats the kind of person who will be a major shareholder then i have less confidence in the business, which being medical has to maintain high standards of interpersonal conduct. (thats the supposed idea behind the companys profile)

 

C. If Alan is Ok for this to happen and tries to sweep it under the carpet as much as possible, then what else is in store when I am really involved in this business and these guys are running it ? If jim who is shrewd is perceiving whats going on he must be thinking he can get away with anything in regards to me and Alan will just follow like a puppy.

 

For sure I am being put in my place as the stool pigeon here. So my stand is no thanks. Go find another mug guys.

 

What would you do if you were in my current situation ? Would you go or would you stay. (presume you have other opportunities available)

Edited April 29, 2010 by RogerHarris

[fluffy_bunny]

Can you not mention it to Jim outside the work place and see if it can be resolved without you feeling the need to resign?

 

Ultimatley it is up to you, you have to 'work and live' with it and if you can afford to give up a job in the current climate stick to your principles.

[honeybee13]

Hi there. I don't think I would trust Jim either. Don't let yourself be labelled by Alan; you sound rational to me. I hope you can find a good alternative job.

 

HB

[Bigredbus]

Hi,

 

The points you are raising are more related to work ethics than legalities...

 

You maybe should have looked at a way of preserving the intergrity of your relationship with your 'boss'... after all you invested time and ambition in that business.

 

If the sudden return of 'Jim' is for financial purposes only, then one could understand why your 'boss' seems enthusiastic to open the business' doors to him. If it stems from a desire to expand...

 

If 'Jim' is more inclined to take a predominant place at the heart of the business, then you could have spoken to your 'boss' and re-assert your position.

 

But if the relationship between your 'boss' and yourself is one which has damaged trust and confidence, then you were right in leaving as the situation would have degraded after time...

 

Nevertheless, I wish you all the best...

[RogerHarris]

Can you not mention it to Jim outside the work place and see if it can be resolved without you feeling the need to resign?

 

I thought about it, but then also thought, the guy doesnt give a ££££ so why allow him to oppurtunity to show that more. I just found out today that he has actually done the same to alan, causing alan to lose even larger sums of money. The situation is different for him though, as he has the oppurtunity to play with this guy further and so has hope off offsetting his loss. Also he has social access to this guy, so he other means of compensation and redress. Of course none of this is openly privy to me and information on it has to be forced. Alan has a way of playing everything close to his chest so you never really know whats going on. Not my cup of tea that kind of thing. I prefer open working relationships.

 

Again Alan uses psychological labels to justify that i am not someone with whom such cards should be open to. I dont buy it, employers in all kinds of other jobs are open with me and no problems have transpired. I have long suspected because Alan is a psychologist he uses those analytical labelling skills to try and get what he wants or justify his actions, which has been leading me to lose confidence in him anyway as that oversteps the boundaries of medical ethics. Not that its all bad. Alan practically trained me from nothing right up to the point where i can write academic papers and present at science conferences, and did this purely out of his personal goodness, But actual working with him now that a real businss is involved has not been easy.

 

I was told basically just to leave the whole matter as it would be better strategy, considering Jim may be a future funder. When i pressed further he said take it up with Jim outside the business, which isnt possible as i have no means to contact the guy. I only see Jim when he comes on site, and i feel ggghhh i want to shove this guy about which i have no doubt comes across.

 

Ultimatley it is up to you, you have to 'work and live' with it and if you can afford to give up a job in the current climate stick to your principles.

 

 

I can afford it. Lifes too short to put up with this kind of thing. Doesnt matter how little money you have. Ok i dont have a family so maybe i would feel differently in that case. We are all different in how we react after getting done over. I tend to have a more temperamental feeling.

Edited April 29, 2010 by RogerHarris

[RogerHarris]

Hi there. I don't think I would trust Jim either. Don't let yourself be labelled by Alan; you sound rational to me. I hope you can find a good alternative job.

 

HB

 

I am pretty rational, but then Alan latest theory is to say that i am over-intellectual because my emotions are over regulated and that deep seated problems from my childhood which would take years of profesional work to solve have caused this.

 

You cant win with a psychologist !! If you get emotional you're out of control, of you get rational youre over-intellectual, and of course the only solution is the therapy they want to sell.

 

Well thats the way it goes. I am probably not cut out for this situation, but thanks for the feeback.

[RogerHarris]

Ok i had another email from Alan last night.

 

He also thinks its a good idea to break up thankfully. I would rather break up and we can go back to projects outside of business where our relationship was good.

 

Again most of the blame is on me and my childhood disorders, but its all extremely vague regarding how this works. Basically i have been pro-active on this. I said look if your theory is right and childhood attachment disorders are the cause of all these problems, then they have to be tackled right now, and i will fully enter into that process immediately and give it everything ive got.

 

He then backs of and says it will too long too solve and that being determined and intellectual does not assist in solving these kinds of problems.

 

I then say well we cant continue to have problems and if i cause them, by your theory, then the current situation is untenable and i will have to leave and work in situations where they do not cause a problem.