I am embarrassed by my current situation

[Jay...]

I am currently struggling financially, not that any of my circumstances have changed, just the fact i have been an idiot and over committed myself.

 

Now i have near enough £18000 oweing, with around 8 creditors, all unsecured loans, credit cards, store cards & catalogues.

 

£8000 of that is with a bank that i work for (as a Personal Banking Manager) and its because of my current employment situation i find myself embarrassed. I work as a manager helping colleagues and customers look after their money and yet i dont seem to be leading by example. If i was to move onto a debt management plan, could that affect my employment situation (i do not undertake credit checks with the job so that wont make a difference)

 

any advice anyone?

[rory32]

Have you worked out a statement of affairs? Have you looked at possible zero percent deals on the credit cards? Doing things like balance transfering the store cards which are probably 35-40% APR. Have you asked any of your creditors to freeze interest? Are you currently meeting the minimum payments?

If i was to move onto a debt management plan, could that affect my employment situation

My honest answer is that I don't know (although I'm sure someone will). Your employer certainly won't like it but I have no idea what they would do, if anything.

[Jay...]

Have you worked out a statement of affairs? Have you looked at possible zero percent deals on the credit cards? Doing things like balance transfering the store cards which are probably 35-40% APR. Have you asked any of your creditors to freeze interest? Are you currently meeting the minimum payments? My honest answer is that I don't know (although I'm sure someone will). Your employer certainly won't like it but I have no idea what they would do, if anything.

 

I cant transfer any of the balances which is mad because i have no adverse data on my credit file, i have just over committed myself.

 

I am meeting the minumum payments but with great difficulty.

 

I think i would be better off ringing my union or HR tomorrow to find out what the craic is regarding my job.

[peter123]

I think everyone is embarassed at first. It took me two years to tell my girlfriend and I had to tell her parents at the dinner table last year :o when we were having problems finding a place to rent (due to credit checks).

 

My mates in the finance industry with similar debts to it cant be uncommon and it has little bearing on your future wealth if you do your best to tackle the problem. Its a big turning point in your life when you start facing up to your debts.

[Jay...]

I think everyone is embarassed at first. It took me two years to tell my girlfriend and I had to tell her parents at the dinner table last year :o when we were having problems finding a place to rent (due to credit checks).

 

My mates in the finance industry with similar debts to it cant be uncommon and it has little bearing on your future wealth if you do your best to tackle the problem. Its a big turning point in your life when you start facing up to your debts.

 

I think what kills me the most is the fact that my mother works for the same bank and she has an idea that i am having problems (she has probably had a look at my account), she keeps asking me if i am having problems and i cant bear to bring myself to tell her i am. I don't think she knows exactly how much i owe and it would probably kill her if i told her (or she would kill me first ) but i know she could probably help.

 

I'm just too embarrassed to tell her.

[peter123]

My mum found out through letters coming to the house. Mums are the worst because, (not being sexist here but), women are women and they worry. My dad turned round to me and said I did the same thing when I was your age etc..etc..

 

All I can say is tell her but remember to put it in perspective especially if you are young because 5 or 6 years down the line and you can always be debt free especially on a sum like 18k. If she hits the roof just remind her at least you have your health :grin:

 

My debt is 10k but 6 years ago it seemed like an unbelievable amount of money but you will get out of it . I must admit looking back i wished I'd just payed it off and dealt with it straight away.

 

Just remember your not the first person to go down this route and you wont be the last and if your mum over-reacts then thats life - we've all been there but she will come around mine did.

[Jay...]

Well, i'm 21 so still quite young. one thing that worries me is if i go to a debt management plan, satisfy it all and then try and get a mortgage say 4 or 5 years from now.

 

does anyone have any experience of this?

[moggieb]

Tell your mum-we aren't so bad really. I found out the extent of my son's debt (he's 26) when he and his partner split up and was hurt that he had not confided in me before. He had mortgage arrears and about £20,000 of unsecured debt which I am helping him to tackle. Its a long slow process but its nice to see him looking more like his old self and less like someone old beyond his years with the weight of the world on his shoulders. So go on and take the plunge-as you say she'll most likely be able to help. But you must be entirely honest. Good luck.

[rory32]

Well, i'm 21 so still quite young. one thing that worries me is if i go to a debt management plan, satisfy it all and then try and get a mortgage say 4 or 5 years from now.

 

Although a DMP will not show on your credit file if the DMP does not meet the contractual payments under your credit agreement with your credit card, store card, catalogue, loan then this will effect your credit rating.

[Jay...]

thanks for the advice everyone, i shall let you know how i get on. If anyone else has anything to add - please do.

[rory32]

One thing to remember if you do go for a DMP is that you should never pay for one. There are plenty of organisations who will not charge you for a DMP.

[kennythecelt]

Hi Jay

just adding my support. You will get a lot of support here to help you.

Take care, Kenny.

[LJL]

Hi Jay,

 

Adding my support also - I was in a very similar situation to you a few years ago and managed to get out of it and that was with no house, no job and a new born baby.

 

I spent and still spend hours on this site and would reccomend the same - there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I am on my second mortage now (although pay a premium) and I have learned some hard, but invaluable lessons.

 

The trouble is that unless your parents have been through it themselves they find it hard to understand, I can not wait to pass my teachings onto my son - I guarantee he will have a full understanding of how credit/debt works by the time he is 16.

 

Good luck and dont be scared to post even the smallest question - everyone is here to help...

 

LJL

[Sparklez30]

I take it there are no unlawful charges on these debts for late payments/ bounced DD's etc?

 

As you work for a bank do you not get preferential rates? If so could you not borrow at a cheaper rate from your current employer and pay off the other debts which would reduce your monthly payments (making sure of course you only borrow what you need and you fully cancel any credit cards after they are paid)?

 

To be honest if I was you I would build up the courage to tell your mum because if nothing else her wisdom & support would be really helpful at this stressful time!

[Jay...]

Thanks for your support everyone.

 

After 3 weeks i finally plucked up the courage and told my mam - only an hour ago!!

 

She didn't kick off like i thought she would, she was upset though. She is now trying to help me!

 

fingers crossed

[nufsaid]

Well done Jay

I think telling your mum was one of your biggest worries and so you will sleep a little better.

Good luck keep us posted on how your getting on.

NS x

[Sparklez30]

Im also pleased to hear you turned to your mum as her support will be invaluable and you know what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved

 

The advice to read around this site was also good. Some of the information just might help!

[Jay...]

Well done Jay

 

I think telling your mum was one of your biggest worries and so you will sleep a little better.

 

Good luck keep us posted on how your getting on.

 

NS x

 

You are deffo right there NS. Last night was the best nights sleep i have had for a while. even if it was only 5 hours

[bryony84]

It is definitely a weight off your mind when you tell the people close to you. My boyfriend knew I had debt but I told him last night the extent of it and that I was planning to set up a DMP. He was a bit shocked but glad I seemed to be sorting things out. Money has become a ground for arguing in our house so hopefully things will be better now.

 

Good luck with getting your finances sorted out. I really believe that we reach a turning point when we realise we need to do something about it and start sorting things out. It won't be easy but you'll get there.

[sequenci]

I remember when I had to tell my mother, it wasn't easy!

 

I'm now a professional debt counsellor by trade working within the charity sector (as well as here!). You're well on the way to getting this sorted and I wish you all the very best!

 

Seq

[vinegarvera]

This thread warms my heart!!

[PrettyPaula]

Jay, i feel for you. my fiance is in the same job and same position.

 

its just too easy isnt it... We are just managing the monthly payments. if he didnt have me i dunno what he would do though, hed be bankrupt i think.

[Jay...]

update

 

I asked my nana if she would apply for a loan in her name for me so we did it last night 15k over 7 years with sainsburys online. it then said to complete the application we had to ring up today.

 

Now when i was at work sainsburys have rang my nana to complete the application - they have changed the loan around and offered 10k with payment protection!! Now from what i have worked out, the payments are roughly the same as 15k without! this is ridiculous. my nana is on the phone to them now to see what we can do.

[sequenci]

Jay, are you *sure* this is the right way to go? Have you checked with your HR debt or any employment advisory service what the implications would be for offering pro-rata payment offers to your creditors?

 

Maybe you should seek some independent advice from one of the debt-help charities before taking another loan out, afterall you could be paying interest on interest that has already accumulated.

[MR2Phil]

Jay, what's the latest? As Sequenci says above, is getting a loan to pay off other debts really the way forward? I only say this as someone who did exactly that...it felt so easy to do but solved nothing, just left me with another loan to pay off and 3 years left

 

I feel for you struggling to tell your mum...I've had debt issues for some time but only recenly divulged the whole lot to my family. Rather than going mental, they were just disappointed that I'd not told them earlier and are now trying to help me through it...there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel and telling them everything felt like a massive weight had been lifted, it was great!

 

Have you sent CCAs and SARs off to all the people you owe yet?