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The HSBC off topic and talking about silly stuff type thread :-)


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THINGS NOT TO SAY....

Said by Judy Finnigan on This Morning, ITV a few years ago....

 

So you went to the hospital about your alcoholism problem. That must of taken some bottle. :eek:

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The Grandmas

 

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a Nursing home.

About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandma's Yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There isn't no way you can guess it, you old Fools."

One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,"How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three old Ladies happily yelled in unison--

"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

 

 

...lol...:D

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I'm sorry if this has been posted before, but I thought that it was funny:-

 

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's , 70'S

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking .

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no Indian, kebab,pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, or Greggs.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Spangles and some penny bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our trollies out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and made our own dens and played with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.......... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no

Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!

 

We were given Cap guns, Pea shooters and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks or a size 12 pump (trainer) and bully's always ruled the playground at school.

 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents got married before they had children and didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade'

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

 

HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]If you think my post was helpful, please feel free to click my scales

 

 

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

 

:D

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If you were born in the 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's

 

 

The big type is because your eyes are shot at your age

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]If you think my post was helpful, please feel free to click my scales

 

 

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

 

:D

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me too, but MummyJowalshy though. As soon as I left home and got married, I discovered I was very short sighted. Wasn't long before I got glasses and realised what my hubby looked like :eek:

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]If you think my post was helpful, please feel free to click my scales

 

 

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

 

:D

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Changing the subjuect slightly (and only because I look really silly in a pair) but this guy really takes skiiny jeans to the limit:-

 

skinnyjeans.jpg?t=1196363925

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]If you think my post was helpful, please feel free to click my scales

 

 

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

 

:D

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Erm, i think that's because it's a woman?

 

Then again, i have been fooled by that before now ...

All help is merely my opinion only - please seek legal advice if you need to as I am only qualified in SEN law.

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Nope, still can't see anyone in a white t-shirt apart from te person at the front - perhaps I need my eyes tested!

All help is merely my opinion only - please seek legal advice if you need to as I am only qualified in SEN law.

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