Gambling addict trying to beat the habit, but a huge debt to resolve

[MoneyHole]

Up until Wednesday 28th September I was a gambling addict. On Monday 26th September I got paid, by the early evening on that day I had gambled £1000 of my pay away. Yet by Wednesday 28th September I had gambled a further £600, at one point winning £595 back however I'm sure there are some CGs on here and as you know I walked out with £0 apart from just enough to scrape a taxi home.

 

This was my light bulb moment and I now realize there is no way I can continue this habit so have sat down and wrote down my debts, many of which involve PDLs.

Here is a rough breakdown, sorry it is note format but provides my current debts, and when they are due (Many have not 'defaulted' apart from Wonga as I have stupidly just been rolling them over)

pduk £600.00 28/10/11

pdexpress £100.00 28/10/11 £500.00 28/11/11

qquid £191.25 28/10/11 £1062.50 28/11/11

speedyd £255 28/10/11

mrl £390.00 26/10/11

won £117.76 18/10/11

(plan)minic £193.50 8/10/11

toothf £544 24/10/11

wda £194.25 26/10/11

mum 3000 + 300 + 600 + 185 + 220barclaycard 2000 (approx £50 min payment per monthcapital one 750 (approx £10 min payment per month)

hsbc 231.49 29/09/11 11.23 10/10/11 111.44 10/10/11 (last installment of a £2500 loan I had and fees for informal ODs etc)

hsbc 1500 (2x750 ods)I'm pretty sure I'm missing one but will add later if I find I have.

My take home pay is £1400 a month of which around £100 needs to be taken for travel and £185 for rent to mum (The 185 above is an overdue payment)Help!

Edited September 30, 2011 by silverfox1961
edited for ease of reading

[MoneyHole]

Sorry for the joined up post every time I post it with correct formatting it just seems to put everything together in a big chunk?

[silverfox1961]

Hi and welcome to CAG

 

I have edited your post to make it easier to read but I may have got it wrong as the loans and dates confused me a little. If I have done it wrong please let me know.

 

In this LINK are some letters and budget planners to help you begin the negotiations with your creditors.

 

It can do no harm to give National Debtline a go as well

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/

 

I used to be where you are now (many-many years ago) and I managed to do it (although it was very hard)

You can do it. I ended my cycle of despair by being diagnosed with depression.

[biggeorge]

Moneyhole, Congrats on taking the first step to your addiction, Actually admitting there is a problem is the first step.

 

As a gambler myself in my youth I know where you are coming from and for me it was a very large loss that finally

woke me up to my problem, This could be your time too.

 

1st: You need another bank account immediately for your wage to go into, even a basic account will do.

Then contact your normal bank and cancel your card, make sure no money is in the account and if you

can get it in writing from the bank that no funds can be taken with your old card anymore, any funds

taken can't be billed to you.

 

2nd: Get all your pay day loans written down and dates they are due.

Work out your income/outgoings for the month,always keep some extra for emergencies

With what ever is left divide between the pd loans even if its only £20 to each.

 

3rd: VERY IMPORTANT YOU HAVE NEW BANK ACCOUNT SET UP BEFORE THIS.

Contact each pd loan and explain your in financial hardship and can't afford to repay the loan

on the date its due and wish to setup a payment plan of £ what ever pounds you have.

Most pd loans will scream and shout and possibly even threaten court action, take no notice and

make sure everything is in writing/email so you have a trail.

 

Ensure that they provide banking details for you to set up a standing order (DO NOT SET UP A DIRECT DEBIT)

Once you have all this in place you are in control, you pay what you can afford and don't let them tell you anything

different.

 

All the loans will have interest added but only 1 months interest and although the pd loans will keep adding charges and more interest

only pay the loan and 1 months interest, nothing more.

 

The gambling is completely different but as a start, cancel any memberships you have,casinos, online stuff and try to avoid all places where

you are likely to gamble, If its in the pub get some cans from the shop and stay in.

Once you have your PD Loans in order when you get paid and have some money don't be tempted to gamble and

just go treat someone or yourself to something you have always wanted, Always money well spent.

 

George

[sillygirl1]

If you can pay a small loan back each month that is better than pro-rata (known as snowballing), make sure you only pay the original loan and one months interest back, not any of the silly charges that they like to slap on.

 

Have you thought about contacting Gamblers Anonymous, they should be able to offer you some practical help. Also if you speak to your GP they might be able to prescribe Serotaxt, its an antidepressant and apparently helps control compulsive gambling, its worth a try and would also give your creditors further evidence you are dealing with the 'root cause' of your problem - you are not alone in this anymore.

[toptrapper]

Moneyhole,

Some great advice from Biggeorge and silly girl. Remember which are your priority bills, and which can wait (although don't ignore, let them know what's happening).

 

Any addition is an illness. Don't be bullied, persuaded, or told otherwise. Check the below website, online support 8am until midnight. Get in touch.

 

https://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline/

[MoneyHole]

Thank you all for your advice.

 

I have tried Gamblers Anonymous several times but it has not worked for me, just seems to go in one ear out the other.

 

The medication sounds like a route I may look into further as I believe I suffer depression in other areas of life.

 

And I have life savings which my parents have control of, so I think the next step is trying to gather my thoughts and admitting it to them or at least one of them certainly before the next pay day. Maybe my Mum as she goes to bingo so could maybe understand more about a gambling addiction.

 

Feel a lot better for just posting something, and if the worse comes to the worst my credit file is wrecked for 6 years. But I'm only 23 so hopefully sorting out my difficulties now will teach me a valuable life lesson!

[Kitten1]

Welcome to cag.

 

I too am a compulsive gambler and recently celebrated one years abstinence. Again lol!!

 

Compulsive gambling is an emotional illness and a character defect - we hide from our problems by gambling. You say you've tried GA before but it didn't work? Try it again. You are young enough to deal with this problem before it causes too much devastation in your life.

 

There is always a warm welcome at any GA group, we aren't here to judge, just support and encourage other CG's.

 

A big part of stopping gambling is to not have access to money x

[Willo53]

Admission is the first part of the recovery process -well done.

 

You may like to use the grasp reform webiste *type grasp reform into google*

 

Gamcare is charity which funded by the gambling industry and there is far too many hidden agendas unfortunately. Can you believe they even tell you as part of your recovery you could actually gamble again in the future!

 

Get onto the Grasp website and you will see what I mean.

 

What was your biggest vice with gambling - horses, machines, sports betting, FOBTs?

[stephenb]

good luck to you mate,your an inspiration i wish you well

[Jon1965]

Please dont call gambling a character defect as that implies there is something incurably wrong. People gamble for many many reasons and in different ways. In some cases it is low self esteem and that is often triggered by some event or series of events in childhood

All I can say is good luck on the gambling, telling people is the first big step. Good luck

Welcome to cag.

 

I too am a compulsive gambler and recently celebrated one years abstinence. Again lol!!

 

Compulsive gambling is an emotional illness and a character defect - we hide from our problems by gambling. You say you've tried GA before but it didn't work? Try it again. You are young enough to deal with this problem before it causes too much devastation in your life.

 

There is always a warm welcome at any GA group, we aren't here to judge, just support and encourage other CG's.

 

A big part of stopping gambling is to not have access to money x

[Kitten1]

With respect, I have been dealing with my own gambling via GA for several years now. GA believes that compulsive gambling is due to a character defect as any trauma in life can potentially start the gambling as a means of escape. But only certain people become compulsive gamblers.

 

A character defect can be changed. If you ever get chance to see a copy of our recovery program, you will see that this is what we strive for during our recovery.

 

Unless you have been involved with GA, you cannot fully understand the recovery process.

[Jon1965]

Well with respect as well, and I do truly wish you well I still object to the phrase defect. It is an old fashioned word and goes with old fashioned ideas. I would much prefer the phrase disorder. I also object to the use of the word God in the GA 12 steps. In my opinion gambling is used by many to hide other problems. It's nice in arcades these days and casinos, you are treated well, you feel that you are liked. Similarly online , it is not by accident that the companies want you to feel part of a community. Why do machines now give bigger and bigger jackpots or will repeat a £35 jackpot 3 times. It's because it feels bloody good to win that jackpot 3 times on the run, it feels good to get that £500 jackpot and people congratulate you. Don't call it a defect to want to be liked and admired.

Many people have addictive personalities, I have one and it manifests itself in many ways, I could easily be an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler, I scare people off because i become too intense.

Gamblers dont need help to fix a defect, they need help to recognise, accept and learn to manage their condition. If it was a defect that could be fixed you wouldn't be a year clear AGAIN.

I will do all I can to help and support any addict, maybe if I had not been exposed to bandits at an early age I would have no interest, . I wish you all the luck in the world and if GA helps you, go for it but as moneyhole says, its not for him. Personally I will stick with CBT which will help me with other aspects of my life as well.

[Kitten1]

The word god exists within GA but is now taken to mean a higher power - ie the support we all get from the group.

 

CBT might be working for you for whatever reasons but it isn't as accessible to everyone as GA is. The primary purpose of GA is to stop our gambling. And it works. I restarted gambling because I wasn't going to my meetings.

 

I think on this issue we should simply agree to disagree. You deal with your issues your way and I'll deal with mine in my way.

[stephenb]

every one deals with things in there own way,my problem was the drink worrying about money got me drinking more and more so another wee loan here and there to buy more,before you know it your trapped in a never ending vicious circle,like a lot of people i buried my head in the sand,cleared of a few pdl and just got 2 to go and im free,even managed to knock the drink on the head as well,i wish you both well for the future,as i said before im new here but coming across this sight has inspired me and makes you realise that there are literally thousands of us out there with similar problems,ok went on a bit of a tangent there but you know what i mean..................

[Jon1965]

Kitten, If it works for you then great. Personally i could not be involved with people that use words that i entirely disagree with, God being one. If it now means something else then maybe change that word. You are right CBT isn't easy to access but it is the primary form of local therapy available through your GP. Took me a while and some insistance to get it. The purpose for me isn't to deal with gambling, or drinking but other issues I have that could easily show themselves in these ways. Stephen, if you have quite the PDL habit as well as the drinking, then very well done to you. Kitten, kep going a year is a great, i think that we need to accept that once a gambler/alcoholic/depressive etc we will always be, what we need to do is learn how to deal with that in such a way that we can control it.

[silverfox1961]

Kitten and Jon. Can I remind you that Moneyhole set up this thread to get some help, not to be pushed to the sidelines of a debate.

 

It is fair to say that different people have different words so can you now stop the debate.

 

Thanks

[Jon1965]

Yes indeed, wrist duly slapped. If I can be of any help to moneyhole I have already offered, and there are lots of ways to attack the situation. Whatever works for moneyhole. Much as i feel the need to express myself, this is not my thread so i will say no more unless asked or have something different to say