pinkduchess v HSBC

[pinkduchess]

as its friday......

 

A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his

doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an

advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like

heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do.

He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight

loss program.

The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers,

there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe

dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her

neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss

company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well,

without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't).

A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has

his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last

time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company

does business.

For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing

happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure

enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat

more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he

calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight

loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems

like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might

be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he

answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but

a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply

stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces

herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign

reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a

shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch

her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is

wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to

the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up

and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the

sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20

pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew

losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.

Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and

subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are

you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most

rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't

felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his

door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200

pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes

and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative

of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.

[jowalshy]

excellent pmsl

[Castlebest]

laffin great joke PD

[johnnymitch]

as its friday......

 

Oh gawd! roll on Saturday.........

 

Just kidding PD .....smashing joke!

[Audreygreeneyes]

good joke PD, you are a clever little thing arent you!!!!:)

[pinkduchess]

i only copy them from a joke site.....just trying to brighten up an otherwise long afternoon at work.

[freakyleaky]

i only copy them from a joke site.

 

Yeah sure! That has come direct from your imagination that! Go on admit it!!!

 

Very funny though! :lol:

[pinkduchess]

freaky im beginning to worry about the impression youre getting of me ....i noticed your other comment on the thread with the deer joke. im not that bad!! :o

[Castlebest]

[pinkduchess]

im not!!

[freakyleaky]

Ok I beleive you!

[vandermerwe]

Hi PD

 

Thanks for the PMs.

 

We're going to lay this ghost together aren't we?

 

Oh dear, having said that, Pete will come up with something won't he?

 

Have spent the day getting my parachute account set up for internet banking - it's working - it's in credit:D but only thanks to Vandermerve minor who spiked it. VDM major, regrettably, doesn't give a stuff about his Dad - which I can handle - or his mother (which, actually, I can't handle:()

 

What's all this about Freaky and a deer joke? I've been swapping a few with him on a newbie's site (Shonk) and he's sounding a bit frisky.

 

Good oke is Freaky - doesn't take offence about rugby comments:D

 

I really loved your joke - honest - I really appreciate those where the sting's in the tail. Oh, b****r I've done it again - really pd I'm not doing the double entendres on purpose

 

Wait for me tomorrow.

 

Van

[johnnymitch]

Was it something I said on Crusher's thread Jo - has everybody gone home?

[jowalshy]

I dunno. I sort of expressed how I felt on the 90,000 thread. glad your here though, I was starting to get a bit worried.

[johnnymitch]

Thanks Jo, glad your here too - I just thought we were maybe monopolising Crusher's thread without him joining in...........

 

Still , it is the week-end I suppose! That's probably why it's gone quiet -

 

PS -showing my ignorance here jo - what's the 90,000 thread?

 

It' s ok! .

I've just found it !! Doh!

[jowalshy]

Castlebest created a thread coz the HSBC was nearing its 90,000 post. It went a bit mad. Here it is if you want to have a bit of a giggle:-

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/hsbc-bank/114987-90-000-posts.html

[johnnymitch]

That was bliddy marvellous (as Auburn would say) - you are mad you lot - but funny with it, - I've just had a great laugh ..........

 

Well done for starting it , Pete, - well done for finishing it Freaky! And well done the rest of you for filling it in. :grin:

 

I had to go out, I'm so sorry I missed getting a post in - Drat!

[jowalshy]

the only thing that wans't answered was Aud's post. I think that she was starting to tell a joke (well I hope she was) and then got swept away with all the fun of trying to get to be the one who did the 90,000 post.

[johnnymitch]

I'll bet her fingers are as sore as her foot now wi' all that frantic typing ! LOL!

 

And as it was mostly numbers we wouldn't know if she was doing her usual anagrams.............. Oops ...... I thin kI'll be in trou ble again when she reads this .....

[pinkduchess]

have i missed all the fun??

[Castlebest]

5 pages of posts in 3 1/2 hours honestly very funny even reading it must have been a hoot posting lol

 

pete

[pinkduchess]

yes i just read it

 

unfortunately auds post wasnt a joke

PCSOs 'did not watch boy drown'

[jowalshy]

OMG that poor mother. I can't imagine what I would do in that situation.

[pinkduchess]

tragic

[johnnymitch]

Good Evening PD

 

Yes that was a tragic situation...... difficult to judge ...

 

 

I take it you missed the 90,000 posts as well , I've just laughed my socks off at the frantic keying that must have gone on...... or pmsl as auburn would say.

 

Nice to have you back, PD & Pete - Jo and I thought we had missed the 4-minute warning earlier on..... there was nobody around!