Anorexia Nervosa

[THNX4THT]

I dont know if this is the right place to put this thread, but I'm at my witts end.

 

My partner, not my daughters biological father ( he's worse, he doesn't believe she even has an eating disorder!)

 

How do I explain to my partner about her diagnosis. She doesn't eat much and is close to being admitted to hospital. His comments are quite hurtful not just for my daughter but for me. He says that my daughter can make herself a sandwich, she's just being lazy. Anorexia is not about lazyness its about self image. When I pointed out to him it was partly to do with self image, he said I was wrong.

 

I'm Autistic and find communication difficult at the best of times, can anyone suggest what I can say to him or show him??? Please help anyone

[rebel11]

Hi THNX4THT

 

It's a difficult situation. I think 100% concentration on your daughter, it's difficult to convince someone of a serious situation when they are in denial. Anorexia Nervosa needs everyone pulling in the same direction, saying everything is o.k. is counter productive and sends mixed messages to your daughter. How about sending him leaflets with symptoms to look out for, but also the possible consequences if it isn't recognised and treated.

 

Useful info:-

 

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_children_young_people/whats_worrying_you/anorexia

 

http://www.b-eat.co.uk/

[geriann]

i'm so sorry to hear you're in this difficult situation.

Anorexia [or any eating disorder] is difficult to explain to someone. he needs to understand it's a mental illness that your daughter has no control over.

i'm guessing your daughter hasn't been able to make him understand her disorder?

is it possible for him to go with you & your daughter when she sees any medical proffessional about her disorder? i just wondered if you could get them to talk to him.

i also wonder if you could get someone from an Eating disorder charity [like b-eat.co.uk] to talk to him. i'm not sure if you can, but it's worth asking a charity how they can help you.

other than that, i think giving him leaflets/books & website information is a good idea. i used to internet to learn about my boyfriends mental illness, my own disorders & to try to help my parents understand my disorders.

 

my heart goes out to you & your daughter

[THNX4THT]

Hello Rebel1,

 

thanks for the info, I'll give it a go

[THNX4THT]

i'm so sorry to hear you're in this difficult situation.

Anorexia [or any eating disorder] is difficult to explain to someone. he needs to understand it's a mental illness that your daughter has no control over.

i'm guessing your daughter hasn't been able to make him understand her disorder?

is it possible for him to go with you & your daughter when she sees any medical proffessional about her disorder? i just wondered if you could get them to talk to him.

i also wonder if you could get someone from an Eating disorder charity [like b-eat.co.uk] to talk to him. i'm not sure if you can, but it's worth asking a charity how they can help you.

other than that, i think giving him leaflets/books & website information is a good idea. i used to internet to learn about my boyfriends mental illness, my own disorders & to try to help my parents understand my disorders.

 

my heart goes out to you & your daughter

 

Thank you so much, I realise it's my daughters condition and its hard for her but as a mother, watching on as your daughter basically starves herself, is almost unbearable.

 

It would be great if my partner could go along to the sessions, but my daughter hates him already, even before the Anorexia took root. I wonder though if someone there might be able to explain it to him, rather than combining the session with my daughters, or slap him round the face with a wet fish, anything to get him to understand.

 

my daughter may be able to physically make a sandwich, just mentally not eat it. Perhaps he doesnt believe in my Agoraphobia. I may be physically able to go out on my own and stand in the middle of town, but mentally I would rather die. 2 different situations, but both mental health conditions perhaps not so dissimilar, except Anorexia I think is far more dangerous, I mean me sitting in doors all the time, isn't going to kill me.

 

I'll suggest to him he has a read on the internet first and if that doesnt work, some leaflets and if that doesnt work, a visit to her clinic, where the big guns can explain it to him.

 

Thanks for your input x

[citizenB]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19047521

 

If you pop something like, " Help for people with eating disorders" into a google search (or whatever search engine you use) there are loads of clinics being set up all over the country. There is no end of data being provided because this has become a very serious issue in the young.

 

 

Genetic link

 

Anorexia is recognised as the most deadly of all psychiatric illnesses, killing more people than alcohol and drug addiction and depression.

 

The outcome for patients remains very poor - only half the people who get it will recover.

 

New understanding of the disease is coming from research led by Prof Lask, who set up the eating disorders unit at Great Ormond Street Hospital.

 

[citizenB]

It would be great if my partner could go along to the sessions, but my daughter hates him already, even before the Anorexia took root. I wonder though if someone there might be able to explain it to him, rather than combining the session with my daughters, or slap him round the face with a wet fish, anything to get him to understand.

 

 

 

It really is a shame that your Partner cannot be a little more understanding - however, it looks as though there is animosity from both sides here