Life is a pain

[lynzee]

Afternoon All,

 

Me and my partner are in abit of a mess (not as much as others on here!, but a mess). We have two children aged 1 & 3 and my partner works full time and I stay at home and look after the children.

 

We have debts and agreements like all but are in abit of a hard place at present. Here is a list of our debt:

 

Car Loan 1 (GE Woodchester - Don't own anymore!)

Car Loan 2 (Black Horse) £2500

Egg Loan £5000

Vanquise Credit Card x 2 £1000 £250

Capital One Credit Card £750

Next £100

Littlewoods £178

Gratten £60

Ikea £300

Personal Loan (borrowed from parents) £5000

 

Now the loan from the parents has controlled some of the debt and we pay that back at £80pcm. Now this is where the problem lays we pay all our debt and monthly bills for the home and then we are left with nothing. Before the personal loan we was in debt with every company from the phone company to the council tax but we have sorted that and we are still left with nothing our outgoing is more than our income and we have tried everything to reduce what we can and still cannot live.

 

We have tried all these routes:

 

Debt Consolidation (not enough debt to be considered)

IVA (not enough debt to be considered)

Black Listed (income is more then total debt)

Revised bills to reduce them (do this every month)

Asked for different payment plans (increase the time and lower the payment)

 

What can we do, we never buy cloths and have to scrap money every week to buy food and it does not help with my partner having to travel the country everyday not knowing where he is going to be from one day to the next as he never has money to cover the petrol costs as he has to pay it out and then gets it back at the end of the month.

 

how do you all live life like this it is mad.

[jimfishybob]

Have you spoken to CAB? I reckon they should be your first port of call. It sounds like this is really getting you down and they will be able to help.

[KeefG]

You could try UK Debt Management Company

 

I had less debt than you and they took me on, that said, i didnt stay with them too long. Once they'd agreed repayments with my creditors i cancelled GP and approached the creditors myself offering the same payments.

 

Saved myself £30 a month on their management fee and all the creditors have accepted the proposals.....

 

I'm not saying thats what you should do but its worked for me!

[lookinforinfo]

You have been very honest in laying out your situation. Quite a lot of people get in the same situation-can't quite make ends meet, so borrow to pay off the shortfall

and put off the fateful day. Then borrow again to make up a shortfall etc etc.

without working on a way to increase your income.

If you know how much you need to break even each month, and you obviously know

how much is coming in, is there a way in which you or your other half can earn

a bit more? A part time job. Behind a bar, or in a supermarket for instance. An

extra £10 a week works out at around £43 a month on a year on year basis. And that may be enough to make a significant difference. Or perhaps you can rent out a room?

[lynzee]

Cheers for the response guys I will certainly look into different ways of cutting back money but what hits us is my partner can sometimes travel into cambridge or london serveral times and then get the money back and then next month would have to do travel to gateshead or manchester which is a big pain as the money back from last month does not cover the current months travel.

 

What I would like to know is how do people survive in this situration, I mean I look after the kids during the week and my partner can work anything of upto 70 hours a week but he does not get paid overtime just his hours back, he has also thought of trying to get a weekend job or doing something private like small building work projects for peoples homes but the problem there is he is on call most weekends too.

 

What gets me down is for the last 3 years we have been paying back what we owe and obviously doing what all do and slip now again and buy something which we later regret, but the debt never seems to go down and for 3 years me and my partner have not brought anything for ourselfs in the respects of clothing or going out for the night like a meal or something.

 

I have looked everywhere online/papers/talking to others to see if there is a way of making just a little bit of extra cash to cover ourselfs that little bit more but there is nothing, most quick money things or working from home is a conn and you cannot make anything out of it.

 

Any ideas or proven ways that others have done?

[KeefG]

When we were in a really bad mess and i was doing about 50-60 hours, we were in the same boat as you.

 

My wife stayed home looking after our kids and i went out to earn (not enough) money.

 

In the end she bit the bullet and had to go out and get a part time job behind a bar on a night. It meant we never really saw a great deal of each other a lot of the time but it really helped us out of the mess until we could afford for her not to do it.

[lynzee]

KeefG, yeah it is a pain in the butt but my partner is never home at a certain time sometimes in can stroll though the door at 10pm also he has to do overnight stays which come un-anounced and weekends he does on call so really there is not a chance for me to go out and get a job. All of my family and his work too so there is no-one to take the kids whilst I go to work.

 

Not sure what else to say on the subject now.

[KeefG]

Where do you live? I'll babysit for ya

 

On a serious note, i know how you feel as we were in the same situation, but i was 'lucky' enough to guarantee i was home in time for the wife to go to work every night.

 

I wish i had some magic answer for you, apart from my first post, try gregory pennington's, as they may be able to help you.

[lynzee]

Where do you live? I'll babysit for ya

 

On a serious note, i know how you feel as we were in the same situation, but i was 'lucky' enough to guarantee i was home in time for the wife to go to work every night.

 

I wish i had some magic answer for you, apart from my first post, try gregory pennington's, as they may be able to help you.

 

hehe, I live in Hertfordshire. Yeah I wish there was an answer out there for me, i will just have to keep looking. I wish the goverment setup a scheme for business's to outsource work to couple/single mums and dads on low incomes. Just small work!

 

My partner once used to make BT boxes from home when he was younger with his mother he said. All they would do is put a bt socket and two screws in a plastic bag and then but them all in a box and send them back. (now that would be a good job to do) and it was working from home.

[lynzee]

this company UK Debt Management Company will it except HP agreements as all companies i have spoken to in respects to debt managment will not except HP agreements or debts that are not in our name.

 

????

[KeefG]

Have you tried writing to each creditor individually and send them a copy of the budget planner (obviously with your details filled in) from the templates library and explaining your situation and asking to reduce payments.

 

I'm sure they would rather accept reduced payments rather than mess about with bailiffs/courts etc etc

 

Budget planner is here - http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/debt-bailiffs-advice/20758-creditors-dcas-letter-templates-2.html

[KeefG]

this company UK Debt Management Company will it except HP agreements as all companies i have spoken to in respects to debt managment will not except HP agreements or debts that are not in our name.????

 

I couldnt say for sure

[hagenuk]

I would write to all your creditors with a letter something like this.

 

Dear

 

Account Number:

 

 

I write with reference to the above account with your company.

 

Clearly it is not our intention to renege on our arrangement however due to certain extenuating circumstances we have endured, which have placed a colossal burden on our finances, we find ourselves in the position of not being able to meet our financial obligations as presently our liabilities exceed our income.

 

I am mindful, however, that your concern lies with the payment to yourselves and I would like to assure you that at no time was there ever the intention to evade our financial responsibilities.

 

Accordingly I would like to request details of your minimum payment requirements in order that we may maintain a level of repayment that is acceptable to you.

 

Although this situation is of great concern to us we do not envisage this state of affairs will continue for much longer and I will contact you again when our situation improves.

 

I trust that this will be acceptable and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

 

 

Your sincerely

 

etc.

 

They will probably reply telling you that you are already paying the minimum but you need to be firm and reply with an offer of what you can afford to pay.

 

Regarding your partner and his expenses situation, can he apply to his employer for either a company credit/fuel card or an expenses float? Many employers will be sympathetic about this and will be able to provide one or the other.

[lynzee]

he has gone to his employer and asked for this but no go.

[lynzee]

how do you find Vanquis hagenuk?

 

I did not know that they are apart of Provident. I have a CC with them and it is blocked every month at the moment as I do not have the correct funds to pay them all the time.

[hagenuk]

I had to issue a Data Protection Act non-compliance claim to get my statements. But now have them - the account is quite old, any port in a storm, I did not always have money, but they'll pay, just like all the rest.

 

If any of the outstanding balance is due to charges, then begin the process to reclaim them, even if they just add the refund to your account, it may mean you can use the card again.

[cankster]

Personally I would do the following -

 

Car Loan 1 (GE Woodchester - Don't own anymore!) - CCA Reguest

Car Loan 2 (Black Horse) £2500 - Work out whats owing against what the cars worth against the value of the debt. You can do a handback under certain circumstances.

Egg Loan £5000 - Send a CCA request

Vanquise Credit Card x 2 £1000 £250 - Send a CCA

Capital One Credit Card £750 - Send a CCA

Next £100 - Send a CCA

Littlewoods £178 - Send a CCA

nd a CCAGratten £60 - Send a CCA

Ikea £300 - Send a CCA

Personal Loan (borrowed from parents) £5000

 

Its only going to be a pound a shot but with the potential you can save its worth a try.

 

Your story really struck as typical of a hardworking family being driven into the ground by these people. Good luck xx

[libbyb]

Hi lynzee - have you thought about registering as a childminder? It doesn't suit everyone but I decided to take it up when my youngest started school and I didn't have childcare for her - and didn't want to work just to pay for childcare.

You can get details of where to start looking into this from the ncma and you will be given a start-up grant too. Involves an ICP course (intro to childminding practice) which runs for 6 or 10 weeks - it's not an instant answer but maybe something you could consider to fit in with your partner's unpredictable schedule?

[steveoram1]

Don't bother with Debt Management companies. They will take 20% of what you can afford each month as their fee. Try these - CCCS - they will do the same job for free and 100% of what you can afford to pay each month will be coming off your debt. They will negotiate directly with your creditors and work out a reasonable amount to pay each of them after you send them a breakdown of income/debts etc. This should also stop all those nasty threatening letters, calls which you no doubt get.

[blanchie14c]

My very better other half makes some pocket money from ebay. We have a 2 year old and all of the baby stuff and baby toys etc have been sold. We buy Quality clothes now - Next, Babble Boom, Verderbet etc. Look after them well and you get 2 thirds of the cost back when you come to sell (which equates to clothing our girl in nice gear, and paying less than cheaper stuff in the long run!). Be a prudent shopper around the bargain bins too, Better half regularly buys stuff just to sell. Everyday stuff you buy will be cheaper too - Books, CD's, DVD's Kids toys etc

When we have a hard month, she will transfer some funds to the bank to help tie us over. If you choose to only accept cheques and PO's you can save further on paypal fees. Golden rule is that you are there to sell and not buy. Its easy to spend more than you make!

It works for us, hope it helps. Your story is touching but you are obviously big and bad enough to do something about it or you wouldn't be here!

Good Luck

blanchie