Bullied - what to do next?

[Guest Old_andrew2018]

Hi

Poppynurse are you an RCN or UNISON member you may wish to request an officer of your union to support you at thew meeting, I’m not suggesting that your representative is not up to scratch, however if they work within your Pct can they really be fully objective.

Second point your organisations policy/procedure on harassment/bullying what exactly does it say, for example is this meeting a part of the process, if not why go?, thats why I asked earlier about your representative if they are Pct employees themself, how can they really support you.

Thirdly I would look at the ACAS web-site http://www.acas.org.uk/elearning/ I am not sure sure if it is of any help to you as don’t know how well informed you are, I feel from my own point of view that the e-learning area is quite empowering.

Can I suggest you PM Ell-een with a link to your thread, as I believe an opinion from a Human Resources specialist would be of help.

Goodluck

[ScarletPimpernel]

A meeting to determine whether an investigation is necessary? Surely an allegation of bullying should be sufficient to start an investigation - I cannot see why it should be necessary for the victim to have to confront the alleged bully first.

 

I suspect that this is a method used by the Trust to try to avoid the grievance/discip procedures - they hold a meeting, the bully pretends to be shocked and surprised that anyone should perceive his/her 'robust but effective management', the victim is made to feel that they are making a mountain out of a molehill, and HR can wrap it all up by suggesting that the victim moves job, or undergoes assertiveness training or somesuch.

 

Quite apart from some union reps finding impartiality difficult, I suspect that many nions shy away from actively supporting members in these cases (especially if the bully is also a member), simply because of cost, where the potential outcome is uncertain.

[poppynurse]

Well meeting went ahead - quite a farce

 

She denied most of my allegations, refused to discuss some (waterworks applied). Called me a liar and said I was trying to bully her. I'm livid. Now waiting to see what was documented. She did apologise if she had hurt me but suggested I was overreacting. I suppose she'll leave me alone now as she knows I won't stand for it but what a waste of time and effort

[ScarletPimpernel]

Fairly predictable, then. I think there's no doubt that she now knows that you know she's a bully, not least because she went through a range of bully defence tactics - I didn't do it, I'm not talking about it, crying to get sympathy, accusing you of wrongdoing, then apologising (she won't have meant it), and then the overreaction suggestion. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she now goes sick with 'stress', just to show what a sensitive soul she is.

 

Standby for HR claiming that it's six of one and half a dozen of the other/personality clash, so no need to go any further...

[poppynurse]

That's more or less what my manager said

[GeorgieGirl]

I hate bullies and have been bullied in many different offices by people at different levels of authority. But, I would rather leave than put in a complaint because you may be the one that ends up looking like a trouble maker and the company may keep their eye on you and you may end up losing your job for some other reason if you don't keep you nose extremely clean. I hate to give you this advice but in my experience companies are beasts and they are the bad guys and you have to look after yourself. It could go on for months and is hard to remember times and dates and also is hard to prove and you may end up poorly because of it.

Much luck for whatever your decision is.

[poppynurse]

Thanks everyone for your support with this, hopefully there'll be no more problems

[Fuzzgin]

Watch out for the phrase "personality clash"

 

It's the way that bully tolerant managers dismiss your problem and pretend that it's all just normal. My bully clashed so much with my personality she almost crushed it. Good luck, I'll be rooting for you!