What qualities do you need to ........(This way ladies and gentlemen)

[tiglet]

I love all Mods and think they do a fantastic job?

 

(Perhaps a hint of irony there).

[setmefree]

Troll-y Troll-y doo

Where are you

come on were dying to see ya

[tiglet]

You've scared them off now!

 

Probably gone to harrass some billygoats.

[Robertxc]

All they can do is judge on your advice in posts and whether they like you.

 

I think the latter is rated higher though

Do you all smell that way?

[setmefree]

You Trolls were made for walking

And that's what you're gonna do

but it's sad on this occasion

that we've walked all over you

[gizmo111]

They are all a lot clever than I thought, they have so many different names.

 

Not like us boring old mods who never change our names, and some of them like Robert are real as well.

[Rooster-UK]

It's not generally realized that, as elusive as they are, they are easy to catch.

 

When the lake has frozen over, cut a hole in the ice. Next, sprinkle garden peas around the hole.

Then, when the troll comes down for a pea, just kick him in the ice-hole.

[setmefree]

I

When the lake has frozen over, cut a hole in the ice. Next, sprinkle garden peas around the hole.

Then, when the troll comes down for a pea, just kick him in the ice-hole.

Now Thats class

[Robertxc]

They are all a lot clever than I thought, they have so many different names.

 

Not like us boring old mods who never change our names, and some of them like Robert are real as well.

Well, since you mention it I thought I'd pop on my anthropologists hat and try to explain a bit of the geniology.

 

 

Edit: It has been pointed out (during peer review of my scientific troll study) that my geniology is a bit off, so I have imediately removed the offending off bit. The replacement image should hopefully make the trolls feel right at home.

 

The second troll we thought you'd like to meet is called 'anabel'. anabel is also known as 'Mistie', who also seems to have got lost on the way out.

[Lula]

Isnt this lovely, fresh back from watching Nigella and Robert is taking us on a tour of the local wildlife

[tiglet]

Very David Attenborough.

 

Tis a shame we cannot view the marvellous American specimen I encountered some while back in order to compare and contrast habits.

[Robertxc]

Very David Attenborough.

 

Tis a shame we cannot view the marvellous American specimen I encountered some while back in order to compare and contrast habits.

Ahhh, exotic species you want is it? I'll see what I can do.

[tiglet]

Only fair as i'm providing the persona of a mythological greek creature.

[gizmo111]

Well, since you mention it I thought I'd pop on my anthropologists hat and try to explain a bit of the geniology.

 

 

EDit: See here for off bits: http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/bear-garden/118611-what-qualities-do-you.html#post1207458

The second troll we thought you'd like to meet is called 'anabel'. anabel is also known as 'Mistie', who also seems to have got lost on the way out.

 

Aah poor things can we help them? They seem confused, lost souls, nothing scary about them really.

[caro]

I think you should change your name to Gruff Robert.

 

The Billy Goats Gruff

 

Once upon a time there were three billy goats called Gruff. In the winter they lived in a barn in the valleyspring came they , but when the longed to travel up to the mountains to eat the lush sweet grass.

 

On their way to the mountains the three Billy Goats Gruff had to cross a rushing river. But there was only one bridge across it, made of wooden planks. And underneath the bridge there lived a terrible, ugly, one-eyed troll.

Nobody was allowed to cross the bridge without the troll’s permission - and nobody ever got permission. He always ate them up.

The smallest Billy Goat Gruff was first to reach the bridge. Trippity-trop, trippity-trop went his little hooves as he trotted over the wooden planks. Ting-tang, ting-tang went the little bell round his neck.

"Who’s that trotting over my bridge?" growled the troll from under the planks.

"Billy Goat Gruff," squeaked the smallest goat in his little voice. "I’m only going up to the mountain to eat the sweet spring grass."

"Oh no, you’re not!" said the troll. "I’m going to eat you for breakfast!"

"Oh no, please Mr Troll," pleaded the goat. "I’m only the smallest Billy Goat Gruff. I’m much too tiny for you to eat, and I wouldn’t taste very good. Why don’t you wait for my brother, the second Billy Goat Gruff? He’s much bigger than me and would be much more tasty."

The troll did not want to waste his time on a little goat if there was a bigger and better one to eat. "All right, you can cross my bridge," he grunted. "Go and get fatter on the mountain and I’ll eat you on your way back!"

So the smallest Billy Goat Gruff skipped across to the other side.

The troll did not have to wait long for the second Billy Goat Gruff. Clip-clop, clip-clop went his hooves as he clattered over the wooden planks. Ding-dong, ding-dong went the bell around his neck.

"Who’s that clattering across my bridge?" screamed the troll, suddenly appearing from under the planks.

"Billy Goat Gruff," said the second goat in his middle-sized voice. "I’m going up to the mountain to eat the lovely spring grass."

"Oh no you’re not!" said the troll. "I’m going to eat you for breakfast."

"Oh, no, please," said the second goat. "I may be bigger than the first Billy Goat Gruff, but I’m much smaller than my brother, the third Billy Goat Gruff. Why don’t you wait for him? He would be much more of a meal than me."

The troll was getting very hungry, but he did not want to waste his appetite on a middle-sized goat if there was an even bigger one to come. "All right, you can cross my bridge," he rumbled. "Go and get fatter on the mountain and I’ll eat you on your way back!"

So the middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff scampered across to the other side.

The troll did not have to wait long for the third Billy Goat Gruff. Tromp-tramp, tromp-tramp went his hooves as he stomped across the wooden planks. Bong-bang, bong-bang went the big bell round his neck.

"Who’s that stomping over my bridge?" roared the troll, resting his chin on his hands.

"Billy Goat Gruff," said the third goat in a deep voice. "I’m going up to the mountain to eat the lush spring grass."

"Oh no you’re not," said the troll as he clambered up on to the bridge. "I’m going to eat you for breakfast!"

"That’s what you think," said the biggest Billy Goat Gruff. Then he lowered his horns, galloped along the bridge and butted the ugly troll. Up, up, up went the troll into the air... then down, down, down into the rushing river below. He disappeared below the swirling waters, and was drowned.

"So much for his breakfast," thought the biggest Billy Goat Gruff. "Now what about mine!" And he walked in triumph over the bridge to join his two brothers on the mountain pastures. From then on anyone could cross the bridge whenever they liked - thanks to the three Billy Goats Gruff.

[Lula]

Actually, instead of David Attenborough, i thought it was more like "Life of Grime" where you see all the Rats and Roaches and various insects that you would rather exterminate

[tiglet]

Now,now, be nice Lula - this is an educational visit.

 

You may be a pinkie now, but the Mods can still put you in detention - Bookie will probably have you stay after class to torture kittens with her.

[Lula]

ROFLMAO Tigs

 

This IS educational, we need to learn how to deal with the little critters and have to study them in their natural environment

[tiglet]

I would agree with you, but would probably just get accused of sucking up.

 

(Or harpy-ing on ...)

[Rooster-UK]

The Billy Goats Gruff

 

Original recording by Frank Luthor.

[Robertxc]

Very David Attenborough.

 

Tis a shame we cannot view the marvellous American specimen I encountered some while back in order to compare and contrast habits.

Nope, sorry, I'm afraid we can only do the domestic 'over the road' species at the moment. Still, there's plenty of them about at the moment so there should still be lots to see.

[tiglet]

I do have to ask, oh fearless leader on this grand tour, what precautions are in place to prevent contagion or "trollism".

 

I have noticed recently that apparently sane people on this site seem to have started displaying trollish characteristics. Is this a temporary effect or is there another explanation? Perhaps being infected while visiting a troll in it's natural habitat, disneyland?

 

I myself trolled a troll yesterday (although I believe strong pain medication may have been culpable in my particular case) and so am quite concerned about the possible Health & Safety issues here.

[Joa]

Isn't it a little bit spiteful, mean and childish to so eagerly participate in this silly troll hunt? Trolls need to be ignored- your own advice, so what are you doing here? A bit of light relief for the upper classes? Have you nothing useful to do? Do you actually think it reflects well on the team running the site that you poke fun at those who are not satisfied? Do you really believe that you are correct all the time? Where is a space for complaints, which most grown-up organisations have, in hope that something useful may filter through the rubbish?

 

Right, you've had your fun. Don't you think it's enough?

[tiglet]

 

Right, you've had your fun. Don't you think it's enough?

 

Er, no?

[caro]

We all need to let off a little steam sometimes Joa. We had better things to do at the weekend than deal with trolls, but unfortunately that's what had to be done.

 

I believe the mods and pinks work pretty hard myself.