The HSBC off topic and talking about silly stuff type thread :-)

[jowalshy]

lol

[jowalshy]

Is it my computer or has something happened to the CAG thing that lets me know when a post has been posted on a thread I have subscribed to? Before the shut down on Thursday I used to get an email quite quickly when someone posted on a thread I have subscribed to, but now it seems to take ages. A few minutes ago I received an email telling me that someone had posted on the ebay thread. When I looked at the post, I found that the post was actually posted on the 26th October. Now every now and then my email box goes completely mental (like now). Is this my machine?

[Castlebest]

Dunno, just seen Olden say her's are all going into her spam file now

[kia]

its gone a bit err odd yes its slow in letting me know of posts xxkia

[lateralus]

pete, freaky, pd, jo.... it's scary here in the bear garden - i think i liked it better when we had our little rants on the bank forum...........all this troll spotting and weird goings on - it's too much for my old brain (which recently spouted another year on it!)

 

just had a look at the numbers at the bottom - 663 on the site and only 145 are members 518 are non-members - used to be the other way around.

 

there are either a lot of paranoid people on this site or else there are a lot of people trying to cause bother - either way - i think i was happier back in our little comfort zone. all the inactivity seems to have cause havoc with people's brains. it's not just my new job that is keeping me away from the site -

i felt like i was really helping some people before - now it's pretty much a social gathering and i'm pretty busy doing stuff - just thought i'd touch base with you guys - i feel like all this other stuff going on is way beyond me (cyber and intellectually speaking), i'm just plain old me. as ever......

i'll pop in now and again - peak from behind my computer, making sure all the scary people are away when i do!

[kia]

am i scarey cos im sorry if i am didnt mean to be :confused:xxkia

[Bobscammer]

Having read a few threads in this forum I have to say this one has a great feel to it. My advice, for what it's worth, is to ignore the idiots that come here purely to cause trouble and unrest. These people obviously have a problem with anyone who seem to have a grasp of general decency, good manners and a willingness to help others whenever and however they can!

Carry on the way you always have as the good always win over the bad!

I hope you don't mind if I stick around!

[kia]

not at all altough i is not charge :Dglad your enjoying it cos i think there great on here i ignore all the other stuff ;)xxkia

[jowalshy]

Hi Lattie, (even though you have popped off now). I must admit I much prefered our silly little parties that we had too.

 

Here's to the good old days

 

 

Cheers.

 

[jowalshy]

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to

Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood

of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?" "Turn the

windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn switches them on,

knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn

turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing

at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn? "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen. "Now you're talking,"

says Sister Marilyn. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the **** off the car!"

[jowalshy]

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times

with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up,

examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one

more chance?

 

 

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you

first try?

 

 

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our

ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so,

why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so

why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

 

 

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your

wife told you to do it?

 

 

.And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four

persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.

Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's

you.

[jowalshy]

" TWO BLIND PILOTS

 

Two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses,

one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads

through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin

glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. but none is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realise they're headed

straight for the water at the end of the runway. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water,

panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and

laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good

hands. In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Phil, one of these days, they're

gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

[jowalshy]

YouTube - I'm All Alone

 

[jowalshy]

These are from a book called Disorder in the

American Courts, and are things people said in court,

word for word, taken down and now published by

court reporters who had the torment of staying calm

while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

LAWYER: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________

LAWYER: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

LAWYER: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

_____________________________________

LAWYER: What gear were you in at the moment of

the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

LAWYER: How old is your son, the one living with

you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't

remember which.

LAWYER: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

______________________________________

LAWYER: What was the first thing your husband

said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

LAWYER: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________________________________

LAWYER: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a

person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until

the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 

------------------------------------------------------

LAWYER: The youngest one, the twenty-year-old,

how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________________________

LAWYER: Were you present when your picture was

taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

LAWYER: So the date of conception (of the baby)

was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

LAWYER: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.…

______________________________________

LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,

did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

LAWYER: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

LAWYER: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

LAWYER: So, then it is possible that the patient was

alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk

in a jar.

LAWYER: But could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been

alive and practicing law

[jowalshy]

Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands retirement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was

looking forward to in the years ahead. “A penis” she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that

followed was broken by the former president “My dear, I don’t think the English pronounce the word like that, it is

’appiness’ “

[jowalshy]

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in

a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two

beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking

around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what has happened, and demands an

explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, 'What you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." "Ah... so sorry,"

says the waiter, I bring you Peeking Duck."

[freakyleaky]

Hey Jo your fingers are on fire!

 

Lat, my most favorite ever american, don't be scared in here! We will look after you! If it wasn't for you I can think of at least 1 person that wouldn't still be around!

You have more right than most to post where and when you like and I order you not to be intimidated by the nasty minority!

The people who post on this thread are generally the good guys! You'll be safe on here!

[pinkduchess]

hey lattie - we're not scary on this thread. you know us - dont be afraid. its so damn quiet on the bank forums...we come here to have a bit of fun. you'll be safe with us

 

liked the jokes jo....were you having a manic half hour? lol

[freakyleaky]

Hi PD! How are you me dear?

 

 

Guess what............

[pinkduchess]

im fine

 

 

what????

[freakyleaky]

I have been married for 14 years today!

 

3 cheers for mrs freaky!

[pinkduchess]

congratulations to you both!!

 

[Castlebest]

Having read a few threads in this forum I have to say this one has a great feel to it. My advice, for what it's worth, is to ignore the idiots that come here purely to cause trouble and unrest. These people obviously have a problem with anyone who seem to have a grasp of general decency, good manners and a willingness to help others whenever and however they can!

Carry on the way you always have as the good always win over the bad!

I hope you don't mind if I stick around!

 

PMSL Bob thats normaly us

[freakyleaky]

AWWWW Thanks!

 

Mrs F deserves a medal! I am sure you will agree!

[pinkduchess]

totally agree