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Getting my belongings from home I used to live in?


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Hello there, 


I just need a bit of advice please.


I lived in my grandmothers property with her and I had been subject to abuse from her but I was stuck with nowhere else to go.


In very recent times, I saw her sister when she came up and to cut it short, revealed some of the abuse to her. She didn't believe me at all (because she see's my grandmother as a kind, elderly lady who wouldn't do anything like that) and in fact turned against me wrongly making out that me saying it to her is trying to cause trouble for my grandmother. She was really quite nasty and I vacated the property. Luckily I've managed to go to a friends house to stay there.


Now, many of my possessions are of course still at my grandmothers house. When possible I phone my grandmother to arrange a date to collect more of it and go there with a friend. This was all fine and with full agreement of my grandmother.


Over the past few days, her sister has once again been involved and has made completely false claims via a text message that me and the friend turning up there is "intimidating" for my grandmother and she was making demands that I go there with her present to collect my things. She even made demands that she wants to see the will (Something she has no right to do so, no probate was needed and so it's a will for me and I don't have to show it to anyone). 


Her sister is actually intimidating and I can't be there when she's there due to the potential of verbal abuse from her. 

I not only have my belongings to collect, but I have a will to execute of my late mothers estate (she lived there and the will states I receive all of her possessions). 


As things stand, because of claims of feeling "intimidated" whether true or not from my grandmother, and I also feel intimidated by her sister, I don't know how to go about getting my property from there?

Would this be something the police would mediate with? So on the day I decide to go there and get everything, a police officer goes round with us. My grandmother then permits us to have access to the house (if she doesn't then we go away and it's direct to court action). I then state what's mine and my grandmother agrees and I take it, or if she disagrees, I log it in an inventory sheet. Once complete, anything she has disagreed with on the day, I then present proof of ownership through the courts and take her to court so I can reclaim it. 


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The Police will not be interested I wouldn't have thought as it's a civil matter, unless your grandmother or her sister choose to make some kind of allegation.


Do you have any other family members who might mediate the process? It's clearly not advisable - for your own protection - for you to be in the house with either of them sans some other witness. If they're not happy with your friend fulfilling that role, suggest someone else or ask them who they would consider acceptable? I'm just trying to think of ways to defuse the situation. It seems to me on the basis of your description, that things are on a knife-edge and you haven't even regained access yet.


It might be worthwhile writing to your grandmother, setting out your suggestions for retrieving your things and inviting her to respond. A letter can be 'tuned' for tone in a way a text message really can't. I often feel people come across very differently via text when compared to their true intention. I would personally avoid any further contact or response with the sister, she seems to be the gunpowder. 

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Thanks so much for the reply. I really appreciate it.


Indeed her sister is the gunpowder in all of this. Under normal circumstances without her being involved, with the matter being between me and my grandmother, it would have been as simple as me phoning her to ask if it's fine to come an collect me things on a certain date, she would have been happy with that and said yes, then I would have gone there with a van and gone round with her pointing out what's mine and if she agrees, taking it with me. 


I feel if anything, she is intimidated by her sister and it's her sister putting words in her mouth. I've witnessed it myself whereby she will say to her "you must be feeling like...." and she agrees with her even if she doesn't agree. 


Police action was partly about a potential breach of the peace. Her sister has shown what she's like and has made threats. One of which was recently where she text my friend demanding that I collect my belongings in 2 days time with her present there and in the message she also made demands to see the will, otherwise said she will be removing my belongings herself and putting them in storage. I informed her that she has absolutely no legal bearing on this and because of the tone she's taken, I wont be attending while she is present. She then had a massive outburst by sending a barrage of lies and borderline slanderous comments of which I then told her to stop contacting me full stop. 


Now, what I believe the situation to be is if lengthy notice in advance is given, it's likely my grandmother will inform her sister, meaning on the day she will be present and it's likely to turn hostile especially as she's likely to bring her tall, muscular and violent son with her. If I don't provide lengthy advance notice and just phone 10 minutes before arriving, she could have been instructed by her sister to refuse us access. 

There's no other family to intervene with things. Certainly I'm just trying to cover all bases with possible outcomes. 


If I'm honest, I feel that if my friend just turns up there, knocks on the door and asks to collect my things, then my grandmother will say yes and have no problem with it at all. 

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