Lying Social Worker!

[Joannefred]

2 years ago my son I got in contact with social care as I needs help with my son who has high functioning autism. (He doesn't really like to leave the house as he would much prefer to stay in his room). Our needs where assessed and we were given 3h pw respite care. After a short problematic settling in period (they sent some different every week and son refused to go) when he got a regular worker he went for a year with no problems. Then his carer went on sick leave and again we were back to a different person each week and son once again refused to go.

We tried to sort this out with the company who provided the respite but could find no resolution as they would come say they understood why he wouldn't go but yet would continue to send different people each week.

I called his social worker to see if there was anything else they could offer as the respite wasn't working any more. It took 27 phone calls and 4 months to get back to me. she said she would send me some info and get back to me in a couple of weeks to see where we could go from there. Another 5 months and 31 phone calls later she finally gets back to me again. she said she would be out the following month (November last year) to discuss what we can set up.

In November a student social work arrived and spoke with us we told her what we would like and she went away saying she would see what was on offer and get back to us.

At the beginning of January we received a letter from the social workers manager informing us that she had been speaking with the social worker and seen as there had been no contact from us for some time they had decided to take son off their books!

I called and asked what she meant no contact, I had made dozens of calls that nobody returned and someone had only been out trying to arrange something for son 8 weeks previously. She called back the next day saying she would be out to see us the following week.

At that appointment only the social worker turned up. She told us (in front of son) that as he had on occasion refused to go out there was nothing more they could do. I told her of course he will refuse to go out as he would much rather stay in his room with his xbox but he needs to get out and socialize if he has any chance of continuing it successfully as an adult. She said If he didn't want to go out then #i shouldn't make him and I was cruel for doing so. Well son loved this, especially the next morning when he informed me he didn't feel like going to school and he didn't have to go because the social worker had said so!

 

Further to this the following week at a meeting in school. The social worker told us in front of everyone that we were emotionally abusive for making son go out! Doctor even laughed at this and pointed out that he kicks and screams every week when he goes to his fathers, screaming that he doesn't want to go but yet had told her it was the highlight of his week. I was absolutely mortified. And they have still taken him off their book!

Is there anything I can do?

 

Sorry this is a bit long winded

[BRIGADIER2JCS]

Hi, What an awful problem, have you made a formal complaint

to the director of social services for your area this is often the

best route to start with.?

[Joannefred]

Hi

 

Thanks for the reply.

I'm not sure where to start. Am I being over sensitive? Is she allowed do say these things?

[LaughingGirl]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it, JoanneFred.

 

Well...I'm sure she's "allowed to" technically speaking - whether she should have is a completely different matter. Is the Doctor you mentioned quite supportive? Would you be able to enlist him/her to help you get the respite re-instated?

 

If not, then as Brigadier said, you need to make a formal complaint - write down everything that you've told us here and write to the director. If you need any help with the the letter, come back here and I'll give you a hand if you like.

 

I don't think you're being over sensitive, by the way. That was an incredibly unhelpful thing to say.

[Joannefred]

When respite was first set up she sat there and told the worker that they had to be very pro-active in getting him out as he wouldn't want to go. 2 years later when she's trying to get him off the books we are cruel and emotionally abusive for trying to get him out and about!

I just think she got caught out in a lie by saying we had not been in contact when we clearly had so she then came up with the "well he doesn't want to go anywhere anyway" to save face. But to say we are cruel for making him go out in front of son and to call us emotionally abusive in front all other people involved was down right wrong.

 

At the last meeting at school sons doc suggested getting something set up for him again and social worker wasn't impressed. She will now have to put him through the whole assessment process again and quite frankly I don't want him anywhere near her! Maybe I can request another social worker to do it?

 

A letter of complaint is defo on the way...

Thanks for the advice and the offer of help. It's very much appreciated

[LaughingGirl]

When you write the letter, specifically mention that if he does need to be re-asessed you'd like to be assigned another social worker.

 

You might want to say something along the lines of "Due to this incident, I am now concerned that my son's relationship with XXXXXX XXXXXX has been affected. Although I do not wish to upset my son, I think it is important that he learns to socialise regularly. I would very much like to work as a team with Social Services in achieving this aim, but feel that due to the language used during the meeting in question, he now sees this as him and Social Services against us. I wonder if it would be possible for him to be reassessed by another Social Worker, as I feel a fresh start would be beneficial to everyone under the circumstances.

 

I've spent the last 10 years dealing with complaints - the ones that get the best outcome are the ones that stay calm and objective, don't get over emotional, are clear in what they would like to be done about the problem, and what the problem actually is! I know that's easy to say when it's not my blood that's boiling, but it is the truth.

 

I think you're probably right - people do say some pretty daft things when they're caught in a lie.

[Joannefred]

Thank you for all the advice.

I will go write my letter now and will update when I get a response.

Once again thank you