Confusing song lyrics

[Hippy-chick]

"I wanna Be Yours...

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot

let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots

I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat

for those frequent rainy days

I wanna be your dreamboat

when you want to sail away

Let me be your teddy bear

take me with you anywhere

I don’t care

I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter

I will not run out

I wanna be the electric heater

you’ll get cold without

I wanna be your setting lotion

hold your hair in deep devotion

Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean

that’s how deep is my devotion"

 

John Cooper Clarke

 

I have been thinking about this song for a long time now. What does it mean?

 

Why does he want to be my vacuum cleaner? Why would a man wish to be an electrical appliance? Does he want to sit in the corner of my flat and be ignored? Does he want to be kicked as I stumble by him? Why would he want that?

 

Please help!

 

[barracad]

You think that's bad? Literature is far worse than song lyrics:

 

"And no more turn aside and brood

Upon love's bitter mystery;

For Fergus rules the brazen cars..."

W.B.Yeats

What's a brazen car? Who the hell's Fergus? I didn’t have much to do this afternoon, so I started making a list of lines from literature that sound good, but don’t appear to mean anything. Do these suggest anything to you?:

"France was long a despotism tempered by epigrams."

(Thomas Carlyle)

 

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."

(

T.S.Eliot

)

Coffee spoons? It doesn't seem to make sense.

[Hippy-chick]

Well I do think it is bad. I also feel that JCC is lying to me - how can he be my Ford Cortina? Does he have the ability to turn himself into a not very good car? How does he know that I want a car anyway? Where will I park it? How will I afford to insure it - let alone put petrol into it?

 

And - the biggest sticking point. He says he will never rust. Yet empirical evidence suggests that, in fact, cars do rust.

 

Why should I listen to this man?

[barracad]

Don't listen to him. Listen to Bryan Adams instead. Some great lyrics in "Summer of '69":

 

Got my first real sex change,

I was 5 at the time.

Played it till my fingers bled.

It was the summer of 69.

 

And then later:

 

Standing on your mother's corpse,

You told me that you'd wait forever.

Oh, and with the hammer in my hand,

I knew that it was now or never.

[blueskies]

Or the Hot dog song by Celine Dione

 

'I believe that the hot dogs go on' - from Titanic

 

' I want to staple the vicar' - We are family - Sister sledge

[barracad]

Or Spice Girls "Wannabe":

 

If you wanna do my mother

You gotta get her a Benz

[Hippy-chick]

Don't listen to him. Listen to Bryan Adams instead. Some great lyrics in "Summer of '69":

 

Got my first real sex change,

I was 5 at the time.

Played it till my fingers bled.

It was the summer of 69.

 

And then later:

 

Standing on your mother's corpse,

You told me that you'd wait forever.

Oh, and with the hammer in my hand,

I knew that it was now or never.

 

Well at least that's clear. But I'm still confused. As I do like my coffee hot (who doesn't), but I'm quite happy with my coffee machine. Do I have to accept his offer? And I never use setting lotion.

 

I was told always to be polite and never to turn down genuine offers of help. How do I reply to JCC without seeming churlish?

[Hippy-chick]

Can nobody help me with this?

 

I do not need a raincoat. I gave up teddy bears many years ago. How do I say no to this man?

 

Do you have lyrics that confuse or annoy you? Share them with me here.

[Rooster-UK]

"Is This Love" Bob Marley.

 

.....with a roof-rack over her head

and....

.....I-I-I-I-I am William and Mabel

[Rooster-UK]

Or the TLC track....

 

....Don't go, Jason Waterfalls.

 

Who is Jason Waterfalls?

[sequenci]

"Excuse me whilst I kiss this guy"

 

- Jimi Hendrix

[barracad]

Do you have lyrics that confuse or annoy you?

 

The Beatles:

 

She's got a stick in her eye, and she don't care.

[Hippy-chick]

"Send me home like an elephant stone"

 

Stone Roses.

 

[barracad]

Most confusing of all is probably Wuthering Heights (Kate Bush):

 

Eeee-wheee!

It's me; I'm a tree, I'm a wombat.

Oh, so cold at the end of your winter

[Hippy-chick]

"I believe in Milko"

 

Hot Chocolate

[barracad]

Robert Palmer:

 

...you might as well face it, you're a ****head in love.

[Hippy-chick]

"I'll never leave your pizza burning"

 

Stones: Beast of Burden

[barracad]

Red Hot Chili Peppers:

 

Can't stop the ferrets when they need food

[Hippy-chick]

"Shaking off my boobs

Going back to my roots"

 

Can't recall who that was by and too lazy to google it.

[barracad]

Cyndi Lauper:

 

O mamma dear, I'm not the virgin I was.

[Hippy-chick]

"Little darling, I feel the acid's slowly melting /

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear"

 

Beatles: Here Comes the Sun

[Oh Boy!]

"Tree lickle birds beside my door step singing sweet songs"

 

Bob Marley

[Hippy-chick]

"When I needed sunshine on my brain"

 

Monkees: I'm a Believer

[hedgey06]

I'd go wherever you may go,

Weigh a pie,

 

What's that all about - weigh a pie? Who gives a sh*t how much the pie weighs?

[Hippy-chick]

LOL hedgey. I do - I like pies!