Help with RLP

[Myddelton]

I was in court in Oxford, and I doubt v much that Frogboy is going to have her field day. But, even if she does, we will have a right of appeal to the Court of Appeal, and the ruling there WILL set a binding legal precedent. So, hey, I'm sleeping well tonight.

[MARTIN3030]

I am sleeping well also,but thought would watch a film maybe inspired by RLP costings.

THE MATRIX

Storyline

 

Thomas A. Anderson is a man living two lives. By day he is an average computer programmer and by night a hacker known as Neo. Neo has always questioned his reality, but the truth is far beyond his imagination. Neo finds himself targeted by the police when he is contacted by Morpheus, a legendary computer hacker branded a terrorist by the government. Morpheus awakens Neo to the real world, a ravaged wasteland where most of humanity have been captured by a race of machines that live off of the humans' body heat and electrochemical energy and who imprison their minds within an artificial reality known as the Matrix. As a rebel against the machines, Neo must return to the Matrix and confront the agents: super-powerful computer programs devoted to snuffing out Neo and the entire human rebellion.

 

Yes we know the feeling-who can imagine RLPs invoices being realistically legitimate.

[MARTIN3030]

a legendary computer hacker branded a terrorist

 

So is sure to feature on Cireco's database ?

[MARTIN3030]

andwho imprison their minds within an artificial reality known as the Matrix.

 

It must be an artificial reality since RLP did not bother to provide it.

[MARTIN3030]

Neo must return to the Matrix and confront the agents

 

But first must make an urgent telephone call higher up.

[MARTIN3030]

There is a rumour that RLP did not provide The Matrix for scrutiny,as they got tipped off that there was an Enigma machine in the Oxford museum

[Myddelton]

The genius of Martin3030's humour will be revealed to all when the transcript of the trial becomes available, with the many references (by RLP, TSS and The Retailer That Cannot Be Named) to the mysterious but all powerful Matrix. At the moment, you really need to have been there. Though no doubt Frogboy could explain it to us. She knows EVERYTHING. Maybe she's The One. Or maybe she took the pink pill when she should have taken the blue one.

 

Finally, to the Troll who's been trying to hack my CAG account: what is it you want to know? Why don't you just email or phone me? You know who I am, and where I work. And when are you going to realise that we are not as stupid as you are?

[Myddelton]

lol!

Edited April 29, 2012 by Myddelton
meant to quote from Martin3030 post

[MARTIN3030]

Yes we are aware of these foiled attempts at severe disruption....not to mention diversion.

And dont have to take the system offline to do the processing.............

[Myddelton]

But no diversion, let alone significant disruption, caused by the Troll. Because you'd be working on the CAG site anyway. Performing one of your core functions: dealing with Trolls.

 

Which is a shame, coz otherwise you'd be able to issue a county court claim against them for the time spent dealing with their nefarious activity. Obviously, you'd want to claim 7 hours 30 minutes for every hour (or less) that you actually spent dealing with the, er, incident.

 

Umecan seems to have taken my advice and used the weekend to calm down. As for Frogboy, who knows where she is this morning. She probably doesn't know herself.

[Myddelton]

there is a rumour that rlp did not provide the matrix for scrutiny,as they got tipped off that there was an enigma machine in the oxford museum

 

rotflmfao!

[Myddelton]

Neo must return to the Matrix and confront the agents

 

But first must make an urgent telephone call higher up.

 

Martin, you're wasted on here. You should be working in something that could make full use of your intellectual and comic abilities. Retail, maybe.

[MARTIN3030]

I was thinking of maybe loss prevention and speculative invoicing,but I read somewhere that there's no future in that.

 

We had a case here over the weekend of significant disruption,one of the site team forgot to replenish the hob nobs.

An investigation has been started but was delayed, as the key for the holding room has gone missing.

We had to do it in the CAG cellar amongst piles of dusty files containing RLP CAG complaints.

 

ohhh look-frogboy is Lurking.

 

Good morning Frogboy,I trust your weekend was productive ?

[Myddelton]

You'll need to start dusting off all those RLP files soon, as of course anyone who has ever paid any money to RLP (or the other speculative invoicers) is going to want to take legal action to recover that money. Hang on - a lightbulb has just gone on! I'm off to set up a business, which I will call Civil Recovery Recovery Services Ltd.

 

Obviously, I'll need an inhouse lawyer. I guess Frogboy might be available.

[rebel11]

Maybe a Class Action/Group Action.

 

You'll need to start dusting off all those RLP files soon, as of course anyone who has ever paid any money to RLP (or the other speculative invoicers) is going to want to take legal action to recover that money. Hang on - a lightbulb has just gone on! I'm off to set up a business, which I will call Civil Recovery Recovery Services Ltd.

 

Obviously, I'll need an inhouse lawyer. I guess Frogboy might be available.

[Myddelton]

Obviously, you'd want to claim 7 hours 30 minutes for every hour (or less) that you actually spent dealing with the, er, incident.

 

Me and my maths - what am I like? It wasn't 7 hours and 30 minutes - it was 6 hours and 45 minutes.

 

I should post up the claimant's Schedule of Loss (redacted, so as not to reveal the identity of the Retailer That Cannot Be Named, obviously). The interesting question - which no doubt the SRA will be attempting to answer in due course - is: who wrote the Schedule (and the associated Witness Statements)? The Retailer Who Cannot Be Named, their solicitors (Shakespeares), or RLP? And the security industry regulator may want to ask TSS why their staff signed the Witness Statements and swore in the witness box that they were a true statement of the facts.

[MARTIN3030]

Maybe a Class Action/Group Action.

 

We will have to run it past ACPO.

[Myddelton]

Maybe a Class Action/Group Action.

 

Anyway you like, as long as I get my 40%. (Though I have it on good authority that, in the case of The Retailer That Cannot Be Named, it is actually 60%. Suckers!)

[Myddelton]

We will have to run it past ACPO.

 

And ACPOS. And the PSNI. And the CPS. And the Ministry of Justice. And the British Retail Consortium.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Was the way that RLP (on behalf of A Retailer amongst others) use a debt collection agency to try to get people to pay, when no debt exists (i.e. before they have won a court case), brought out in court?

[rebel11]

I don't know about 40%, but maybe some 'sheets of paper' that were destined to be used as 'speculative invoices', maybe we can get them at a knock down price.

 

Anyway you like, as long as I get my 40%. (Though I have it on good authority that, in the case of The Retailer That Cannot Be Named, it is actually 60%. Suckers!)

[Myddelton]

Was the way that RLP (on behalf of A Retailer amongst others) use a debt collection agency to try to get people to pay, when no debt exists (i.e. before they have won a court case), brought out in court?

 

No, we only had a day and a half! And, of course, the claimant (The Retailer That Cannot Be Named) objected to "any attempt to make this case about anything other than the tortious conduct of the First and Second Defendants".

[2Grumpy]

I suppose that we aren't allowed to use the phrase "A Retailer formerly known as ****$"

[rebel11]

A Retailer formerly known as Prince:-)

 

I suppose that we aren't allowed to use the phrase "A Retailer formerly known as ****$"

[2Grumpy]

If the retailer formerly know as ***** was to win, do you think that they would want to retract their request not to be named in the judgement