cant go on

[ex2103]

There is no justice in this world.

 

 

My ex was lending money off me for nappies when I met her.

 

 

I brought her 2 babies up as my own as well as my two that we had.

 

 

I loved all four of my kids.

We split and she went to csa.

 

 

I approached her and said why go to csa i dont mind paying you for all 4 children,

she said ok pay for all 4 (2 were not mine, biologically), for clothes, food, and half towards any school trips.

I agreed and never missed a payment, that was 2007.

 

 

I recently (2015) received a letter from csa saying that I have to pay £1000 per month for the forseeable future.

Where am I supposed to get this money from?

 

When we split after 10 years of me bringing her children up and me paying for them,

I asked when can I see them, to which she said, theyre nothing to do with you.

She keeps my house, my children, my material posessions, ( which i dont care about),

 

 

she has now got a boyfriend with 3 business's 12 houses, 18 cars!!!

I am not used to dealing with stress,

I am a very loving, protective and allow me to say reasonable father,

but I am constantly getting shafted by this system and

 

 

I am reasonable but I'm not an idiot...I cant deal with this stress,

 

 

why can't these women (and men) just be reasonable and do whats best for the child.

 

 

I am re-married,

 

 

i Have my 15 year old living with me now and also a 2 year old with my new wife

and now the csa are threatening to take my house because i cannot meet their extortionate prices.

 

 

I cant go on, i cant eat, i cant sleep, this should not be allowed :'(

[caro]

Hi ex2103 and welcome to CAG. You're clearly having a mare of a time which seems very unfair when you've never shirked your responsibilities. Do you have any idea what has changed that the CSA have become involved?

 

 

I'll move your thread to a forum where there will be people who may be able to advise you.

[ex2103]

Hi Caro,

 

 

Thank you so much for your connection,

 

 

As she went to the csa originally, unknown to me, when we made our agreement

she never informed the csa that we had a private agreement

and it has just taken them this long to do anything,

 

 

she has never approached them since ive been paying as she has had no reason to,

but they have approached her and advised her that she can claim for untold riches back to 2007,

which of course she has gone for

[SabreSheep]

HI

Seems like you are in a tough place right now. No matter what happens or how you feel hold onto the fact you have moved your life onwards and have people to care for you.

 

Lack of sleep can add a whole downward turn on things. You might benefit from seeing your GP and explaining the situation and how it is impacting on your day to day life. You will find that once you start sleeping again you will be in a better and clearer frame of mind to follow any advice forthcoming form here and other places.

 

Your health first!

[ex2103]

Thanks sabresheep, I understand what you're saying, I'm a psychologist , but when an organisation like the csa is coming after you for £1000,00 per month when you have alot of responsiblities towards others is very worrying regardless of gp's, medicines, psychologists etc. they can take everything I have ever worked for, I don't mind they can have it. but i'm getting on in years now and I'm tired, drained almost. The eyes of the law state the the accuser has the onus to prove guilt, but for some reason the csa dont have to obey the law, for the csa the onus is the innocent to prove innocence and that is just a blatant illegality but it doesnt matter for some reason. This was just a last ditch attempt for me, I knew it was just another fruitless attempt to find a solution, I'm not here for attention or sympathy, I was hoping that there was somebody out there with a solution, but we all know there isnt one, the csa are a law unto themselves. so ive just got to sit here and watch them take everything I have and then put me in prison, end of. I was right, theres nothing anybody can say or do to change this

[CrappoMan]

The CSA can only backdate to the date of the first letter telling you that a claim has been made against you. If your ex made a claim in 2007, then the CSA should have sent you a letter at the time saying so.

 

To backdate further is unfair as the first letter is to notify you to make arrangements to prepare to pay, so you can save money up from that point to pay a possible lump sum.

 

You may need to make a DPA request to get a log and copies of all correspondence that has been sent to you, and look for the first letter they sent you.

[caro]

Agree with SabreSheep. You really do need to look after your health or you'll be no use to anyone.

 

 

Forgive me if I seem ignorant of these things, but I'm just trying to get a clearer picture.

 

 

How long is it since CSA first contacted you?

 

 

Have they got all the information on your current income, mortgage, bills etc?

 

 

Are they aware that you have 2 children living with you?

 

 

Are you under any obligation to pay for the children that aren't yours biologically, and if so why?

 

 

What have CSA said about taking the house off you, bearing in mind you have 2 children living there?

[ex2103]

Thanks crappoman, Its £1000.00 per month back dated to 2007,

[CrappoMan]

But when did the CSA first contact you to tell you a claim has been made against you ?

[caro]

Thanks sabresheep, I understand what you're saying, I'm a psychologist , but when an organisation like the csa is coming after you for £1000,00 per month when you have alot of responsiblities towards others is very worrying regardless of gp's, medicines, psychologists etc. they can take everything I have ever worked for, I don't mind they can have it. but i'm getting on in years now and I'm tired, drained almost. The eyes of the law state the the accuser has the onus to prove guilt, but for some reason the csa dont have to obey the law, for the csa the onus is the innocent to prove innocence and that is just a blatant illegality but it doesnt matter for some reason. This was just a last ditch attempt for me, I knew it was just another fruitless attempt to find a solution, I'm not here for attention or sympathy, I was hoping that there was somebody out there with a solution, but we all know there isnt one, the csa are a law unto themselves. so ive just got to sit here and watch them take everything I have and then put me in prison, end of. I was right, theres nothing anybody can say or do to change this

 

 

Let's get this into proportion. Do you honestly think there's room in prisons for hard working fathers who have provided for their families? Do you really think any judge is going to stop you earning a living so that the state can keep you in prison and have to find a home for your family? I know it looks bad, but I really don't see that happening.

[2ltr16valve]

Do you have proof of the payments you have made to her ? Bank transfers ? Regular cash withdrawals ?

[ex2103]

hi caro, as far as looking after health goes, stress is a difficult animal to tame, to answer your other questions:

csa first contacted me in 2007, but as I made a private agreement with my ex I just ignored them.

I had an interview with one of their rottweilers, and tried to give them my circumstances, but they had their own agenda and refused to listen to anything I said and made their own figures up.

I am under no obligation to pay for the two that are not mine, I just wanted to up until now. They are aware that one of my biological children live with me but are still making me pay my ex for both!!

The Csa have said , as I cant pay the full amount within 2 years they can force me to sell my house to give them their money.

[ex2103]

Hi 2ltr16valve, I haven't proof as such, but have shown them many many charges on my card that can only be for children, clothing shops, clarks, cinema, macdonalds, alton towers, schools etc etc, but they say they dont have to take this into account as its not proof as such

[ex2103]

Hi caro, with all due respect, I think you have a slightly naive view about what is going on in prisons. There are many hard working fathers in prison.

[CrappoMan]

As you, by your own admission, ignored the CSA when they first contacted you, they didn't know you had agreed a private arrangement, unless your ex told them. If she is now saying that you haven't paid anything during this period, you will need some proof.

 

A DPA request might shed some light on what has happened.

 

You may need to make an official complaint to the CSA about the time it has taken to be assessed (8 yrs), and the way the case has been handled.

[ex2103]

Thank you to everybody who took the time to reply, I appreciate your time. I regret posting now, I kind of knew it was fruitless but you never know if you dont try, i know that there is nothing anyone can do about this agency, people mean well and thats nice to see but, to be cold, all that can happen is for people to state the obvious in the hope that some people haven't seen the obvious, but in the main nothing can be done.

[ex2103]

Thanks crappoman, I complained to the csa, completely ignored, complained to ice ( independant case examiner), was told to complain to director of csa, complained to director of csa, was completely ignored, complained again to ice just to be told he cant take the case on unless referred to by the csa, can you see the irony

[CrappoMan]

Official complaints to the CSA about specific issues with your case wouldn't be ignored, you might get a brush off reply, but you won't be ignored.

 

Once you get a brush off reply and if it's clearly ludicrous, you can take it to your MP who may get involved.

[caro]

Thank you to everybody who took the time to reply, I appreciate your time. I regret posting now, I kind of knew it was fruitless but you never know if you dont try, i know that there is nothing anyone can do about this agency, people mean well and thats nice to see but, to be cold, all that can happen is for people to state the obvious in the hope that some people haven't seen the obvious, but in the main nothing can be done.

 

 

Maybe that is the case so far, but that's not bad in under an hour late at night. There may be others online at different times with more experience and knowledge of the issues who may have practical advice.

[somethingelseplease]

EX2103 - Do you have proof of all your payments towards her from the start? That would hold up high in a court of law because that would also prove she is a liar

Edited June 14, 2015 by somethingelseplease
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