Elderly mother please help

[tracylee]

Hello

 

Sorry to bother anyone but I was told about you from a man i know.

 

My mum is elderly and lives with my sister.

 

She bought and paid for her house over 20 years ago.

 

My sister lived with her, my sister wanted to move so my mum used the money from her house to buy her a car and put the rest as deposit on a house,

my mum said its only money she doesnt need it.

 

My sister did not put my mums name on the house.

 

My mum is now needing 24 hour care but my sister says she can only look after her at weekends even though she lives there.

 

This means me and my brothers and other sister have to take it in turns to look after her, we are in our 60s except for one brother.

 

One of my brothers has grandchildren he has to take care of before and after school.

 

My other sister is not too good she is on tablets for her nerves.

 

My sister who lives with my mum is now trying to get more money for attendance allowance.

 

She works from 9 till 5 but leaves the house at 8 and doesnt come back till 9 at night, she said she has things to do.

 

We dont want mum to go into a home as she loves her house, we feel blackmailed.

 

My sister wont go part time or take a break from work, she earns a good salary, which I know is a good thing as jobs are hard to come by.

 

She sometimes goes away at weekends and we are so tired.

 

I have teenage children who can be difficult at times and am worn out.

 

Thank you for any advise.

[Nystagmite]

Has anyone contacted social services?

[taraquin]

All I can say is that the sister is one switched on lady!

 

It may be the case that this sale took place to try and avoid having to fund care in the future. However, by doing this the sister has 'cleaned' mum out of all the money. The sister now has her own house on mortgage using the mother's money and that mum is living with her

The council could well undo that 'gift'.

 

To be honest, the sister need do nothing. In my humble opinion the sister has stitched up the rest of the family for her own needs.

 

What can I say? I've seen this happen so many times before.

Have one case, where the mum sold her house and gave it to her daughter. Mum lives in the converted garage as a studio flat. She's not even allowed into the daughter's home.

Daughter has carers coming in and goes to respite regularly. All paid for by SS.

 

Her son isn't very happy about it all, and didn't realise that mum's name isn't on the deeds of the house that she paid for. He's lost out big time.

Then tell me why daughter and husband with no kids need a £750,000 6 bed house for themselves mostly paid for by the mum?

[seanamarts]

I would also suggest social services care team. They may suggest respite care and advise how this can be arranged.

[bonnygirl]

All I can say is that the sister is one switched on lady!

 

It may be the case that this sale took place to try and avoid having to fund care in the future. However, by doing this the sister has 'cleaned' mum out of all the money. The sister now has her own house on mortgage using the mother's money and that mum is living with her

The council could well undo that 'gift'.

 

To be honest, the sister need do nothing. In my humble opinion the sister has stitched up the rest of the family for her own needs.

 

What can I say? I've seen this happen so many times before.

Have one case, where the mum sold her house and gave it to her daughter. Mum lives in the converted garage as a studio flat. She's not even allowed into the daughter's home.

Daughter has carers coming in and goes to respite regularly. All paid for by SS.

 

Her son isn't very happy about it all, and didn't realise that mum's name isn't on the deeds of the house that she paid for. He's lost out big time.

Then tell me why daughter and husband with no kids need a £750,000 6 bed house for themselves mostly paid for by the mum?

 

I have seen this before as well, but it was with a daughter in law the same thing happened the mum was always threatened to be sent into care home when she did not do what the DiL wanted. Mind you that was when the mum was of no use to her anymore. This woman gained by using all of her mother in law pension plus other benefits as well. Mother in laws was used to cook their meals as well this as been her been at home when their children got home from school. Both son and wife was working all day long and they kept saying to others in family that they were looking after mother. They ended up getting mother in law home and got away with everything that these greedy people did.