Cheekiness towards a DCA

[LampLighter]

| This is the best forum thread I have ever read.

 

Since I discovered CAG and learned about problems debtors and creditors have to manage I have started to feel much better. Much, MUCH better! I needed this!!

 

My OH is getting bored with it, not because she minds me educating myself, but because she thinks I should have studied enough by now to deal with my difficulties. She simply doesn't realise that this thread is totally compelling reading for anyone who has had troubling fear and/or debt problems.

 

CAG has helped to dispel a heavy weight upon me, as I wracked and re-wracked my brain for a valid way to ease my financial position and so better cope with being unable to work and earn.

 

I've been ill for about a decade in a way that has brought poverty, dependency on benefits to raise my family instead of working as a technical contractor to corporates. I needed to get from under to get started again, I've lost everything to the consumer system because I was ill such that I could not manage. And where I live the NHS is about as useful as a chocolate teapot to someone with an unusual health problem.

 

The multiple outbreaks of ROFLMFAO and (often) streaming tears (and the occasional hacking coughs) of hilarity that this thread has brought me have done a great job of further cheering me up. It has made SUCH a difference to realise how little I need to fear the creditors and the DCAs.

 

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your wit, irreverent fun-poking, sarcasm, candid humour, spontaneity, and remarkable humour in the face of an apparent attack of clones.

 

I have a call recorder which I really must find time to learn to use, as 'they' will start calling me soon I am sure. I really enjoy a good laugh, and a prank or two. I've always been a huge fan of Candid Camera and stand-up, and I seem to be able to raise a laugh when the flow comes on and timing gets just right. Couldn't be professional but love to amuse.

 

So I am looking forward to having some fun with those who call because they really don't like to write. But it might only be for a short time because I have to move. That might cramp my style completely.

Luckily I write a good letter.

 

Night night all.

And thanks again.

LL

[LampLighter]

I had sausages for breakfast.

 

Only I get my sausage and wrap an oatcake around it, then dip it in tomato sauce.

 

 

Mmmmmmmmmmmm! Oatcakes!!

It has been far too long since I visited the famous oatcake shop in Hanley.

Happy days ...

mmmmm

[LampLighter]

I asked AK to show a CCA for debt they've been happily collecting (due to my utter ignorance) for nearly a year. Now that I am not sending them any more of my money they seem to be puzzled as to quite why. A chap called up and asked for money and I refused on account of they were in default. When I explained what I was after (written proof!) he opined "We can get any details you require from the original creditor, but it will take longer than 14 working days". "That", says I, "is not my problem, mate, is it? You've had the 14 working days allowed by law and more so that's it, you're in default and I don't have to give you a penny ever ever again. Unless you supply the ticket!"

 

"But ... you have a moral obligation to pay it back," he says. [Good grief, can you believe that? Is that his flippin' script?? Pshaw! ]

 

"I didn't let you speak to me on the phone today to discuss my morals! It's okay for you to con me out of money without a ticket but it's not okay to refuse to pay you anything for its lack? How is that moral? Taking money without authority? You should be ashamed of yourself, mate!"

 

Well, he got very upset at this, protested that he was not my mate, and then said that if I lectured him like that he would have to terminate the call. So I said "Terminate the call then, mate!" And he did.

 

Of course, they called again, but until I get my recorder working I'm not taking any more calls from them. I actually don't want some oily slimy-spoken woman calling me up and reassuring me that she can sort it all out for me. "I don't need anything sorted out, love, it's up to you to put your house in order, I can't help you with that, can I? Your problem, lady, not mine."

 

 

I agree with an earlier poster, who ignores them unless they produce a court document. Seems a good plan, answering the phone only seems to encourage them. I've never been one to suffer fools gladly. I am not about to start.

 

 

About two minutes later I get a call from someone called Jane at BC. Oh what an officious and pompous boss lady type she is. A bit like a seriously stern teacher with an arrogant edge in her voice. After we had briefly discussed the fact that BC were in default and so no way I pay, she assured me in very haughty tones that "Despite what you say, Collection will continue!" You could really hear the upper case C on Collection.

 

 

There's more tomfoolery ...

 

T'other day, after several quiet days, a chap from AK calls me up.

"What are YOU phoning me up for?" I instantly and assertively demanded.

"Oh sorry, has someone spoken to you already today, I'm terribly sorry, I do apologise for the call. Sorry to have troubled you ..."

How we laughed. He was the first of the day!

 

 

I'd better get off, the missus has fallen asleep on the couch and I have to write a few letters. To annoy BC mostly, by stating the bleeding obvious a few times.

 

Happy cheekiness, all. I'll bring in some recordings when I get the thing going, been too ill since I bought it to even understand the manual. It's written in something like Mongolian translated into Indonesian before being put into English by a non-English speaker from Malawi. And all the buttons are too small!

 

Kind regards,

LL

[LampLighter]

Hello folks,

Had a little laugh with Mercers the other day. Usually I'm far too busy, or too ill, to be bothered with answering their phone calls - I either shut them off as a noise nuisance or answer and wait for the computer to connect the operator - at Hello? from a call centre ambience I put the phone down. It's petty, I know, but I'll be damned if I let them harass me, I'd sooner harass them a little and not be bothered ...

 

So the other day I was having that rarest of things, a few minutes peace and quiet and flippin' Mercers called. I missed the call but found it a minute later and called them right back. Well, I was bored. And I'm practising a bit!

 

Mrs: Hello, can I have your account number please

LL: I don't have any account with you.

Mrs: Well, what is your Barclaycard number?

LL: I don't HAVE a Barclaycard.

Mrs: Well, how can I help you?

LL: Well, I have you guys, you keep ringing me up, so could you stop ringing this phone. I keep getting calls from you that are either silent, or someone asking about a Barclaycard account. I don't HAVE a Barclaycard. All I have is nuisance calls from you and it's beginning to $&@?!! me off.

Mrs: Very sorry about that sir, would you like me take this number off the system?

LL: Yes, please. That would be fine.

Mrs: Ok, I'll do that for you.

 

Completely straight faced she said she would. I couldn't believe it! Of course, she didn't, unless it takes a couple of days to take effect. I put the phone down on them at least twice more on the weekend.

What a mindless thing to do. Ring me, that is.

 

Let them catch me on a roll - I love a bit of improvisation, it's such fun.

Edited August 9, 2009 by LampLighter
Cagbot added stars. I'd rather do my own.

[LampLighter]

I've been getting a lot of calls from some woman at Callder Finance who thinks it is polite to call me by my first name just because BC say I owe them 10k. HA! Silly BC without their paperwork to hand ...

 

I was getting into being really pleasant and small talking for ages and then refusing to do DOB for 'security' but after a few weeks I got bored. Then for a few weeks I just took the calls and waited quietly for the sounds of their call center to be replaced by the bleep of their auto-dialler deciding the line was dead and so cutting THEM off mid-inbreath. Costs them something to get that empty air ...

 

Boredom set in again so I took a break by screening the calls. Instead of the telling Nokia default ringtone I had assigned ... no sound at all, not even a beep, just a missed call notice sometime later. Nice. Peaceful. At 08:10 I am not in the mood to speak to muppets anyway, especially on a Sunday.

 

Well, I found I missed the chance to have a laugh. That's wierd. And I missed the little buzz you get from dealing with them without anxiety. It's fun to be 'naughty' and wind callers up on the phone, can be good sport. But I also was tired of the whole thing, early morning calls 7 days a week even unheard and unanswered became dull. I was lacklustre.

 

Then, inspired, I took a call and when they asked for me said simply yet forcefully (read LOUD) "There's no LampLighter here, I'm sleeping. naff off". Next day they called and again I pretended Lamplighter was not present in the abode. Now the calls have stopped completely. Ah, the benefits of pretending you have sold your pay-as-you-go mobile! Complete peace and quiet abounds.

 

Nice.