Presumptious for assuming writer was male

[bottomburp]

Hi,

 

 

I realise this is somewhat off the usual CAG beat but here goes...

 

 

I received an email from someone who signed off P Smith. The email refers to "my wife".

 

 

I replied "Dear Mr Smith" and, to my absolute horror, got an email back saying I was presumptuous for assuming the writer was "Mr" as, in fact, the writer was "Mrs" and in a same sex relationship. Whoops! There was no indication in their email address as to whether P was for, say, Philip or Pandora. If it had been signed Pandora Smith I would have replied to Ms Smith. If it had be signed "P Smith (Mrs)" I would have replied to Mrs Smith.

 

 

How are people supposed to know guess that they are replying to someone who is in a same sex relationship? Does it mean that all correspondence (such as the above) should now be addressed to "Dear Sir / Madam"?

 

 

Thoughts appreciated...

[Bandit127]

What are the chances of such an insignificant mistake hitting the very few people in the country that would take such a disproportionate exception to it?

 

Lottery chances I say.

 

Back luck old fellow - Karma says you should buy yourself a lottery ticket tonight. A £10 win would balance the world back up again.

 

P.S. Soz if you are not an "old fellow". I hope you aren't too miffed by my presumptuousness.

[bottomburp]

You are probably right, it probably is lottery chances but she's having a crack at me for not guessing...and I don't know how to protect myself in future from exactly the same thing!

 

 

How am I -or anyone else -supposed to guess that someone with a "wife" is a woman - or that someone with a "husband" is a man? I try to move with the times and any advice that protects me from making the same mistake again would be much appreciated...as would how the heck do I apologise? My first response it that it is "presumptuous" to assume that I would know...but I don't want to fan the fire...

[SabreSheep]

Just address it in the same manner they signed it.

 

EG Dear P Smith

 

Personally "as a gay" I would not get offended. This sounds like someone who is laying traps for you to fall into.

[bottomburp]

Sound advice. Thank you. I believe you are right, if she was not trying to lay traps she would have signed off in a transparent and honest way. I feel sad for her feeling as she does but quite frightened for my livelihood...whatever I say will, no doubt, be twisted in some way.