Rectum Stretcher

[SOD'EM]

While I was driving down the M62 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a bobby on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

 

He pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

 

"Runway too short?"

 

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

 

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

 

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

 

He was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

 

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

 

Then he asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot a**ehole?"

 

 

 

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

 

 

 

Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points

Court costs: £45

Look on the bobby's face: Priceless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[watchinginvestigation2011]

Splitting my sides with this one:lol:

Edited November 17, 2011 by watchinginvestigation2011