Testing testing....

[Toffee Penny]

My story might seem familiar to some of you but here goes......

 

I suppose it all started when I passed my driving test 8 years ago and we wanted to buy a car, not earning much between us we went to the bank with my uncle and was turned down for a small loan. My uncle agreed to take out a loan on our behalf and the lady told my partner to apply for a credit card as this would be a good way to build up a credit history. OH got a credit card and it was great at first going shopping on Saturdays spending a few hundred just like that, on nothing special, a few items from sports shops, clothes for the kids, nothing special just stuff we didn't need just wanted.

 

The credit cards kept on flowing and new applications were filled in, swapping one balance to the other until we were offered a loan. Brill!! We could get rid of the credit card debt and have just one monthly payment, only it wasn't brill cause as soon as the balances were zero, we spent again and again until, yep you've guessed it a loan AND credit cards.

 

I wouldn't say we were in denial as we had manageable debt, we could afford the payments, we could afford a few nice holidays and nice clothes even carpets for every room throughout our new house when we moved in. It was great no worries jobs were ok and the payments weren't that bad we didn't worry because the debt seemed ok to us, just a couple of thousand, probably less than 20k.

 

Whenever the debt on the credit card got too big we just topped up an existing loan or applied for a new one, it was simple and easy, far too easy! Whenever a paymnet was made to creditors we had letters like 'Congratulations your credit limit has increased' everyone threw money at us and like daft fools we kept spending it. We could still afford the payments so whatever, we just didn't care! If I overspent on food shopping, my overdraft would see me through the month, if I wanted clothes I could order them from catalogues and not pay until several months after. If we wanted money in the bank just for having a plus balance we would write a cheque out to ourselves and go shopping. We wanted for nothing.

 

I discovered my OH had lost over £1000 in one month on a gambling site one day and things just came to a head, words were spoken and we decided to have a break. It went on like this for months blaming everything and anything on each other rather than wake up smell the coffee and realise we had a problem and needed help but we didn't know what to do or who to turn to, we were in the brown stuff, really deep in it, his family thought one of us had cheated as he was always being kicked out and that added to our worries as no one knew of the financial mess we were in. The relationship was fiery, every converstaion was about the uncertainty of his work and worrying of what to do. OH is self employed and work this summer just dried up and slowed down. He even suggested doing a runner! The kids didn't know what was going on and the pressure of trying to find minimum payments of over £1000 a month was stiffling us. It was either make or break for us.

 

Are we ashamed we spent the money? YES

 

Do we wish we could turn the clock back? YES

 

But one step at a time, I can't wait for the day we get rid of credit forever, we will be debt free one day, we are learning a very dear lesson and having to budget for the first time in a very long time; no overdrafts to sort out this mess now. If we can't afford it we can't have it but you know what I feel so much better knowing whatever I have in my purse or bank at the end of the month when the direct debits have been sorted is mine, all mine and thats the best feeling when you have woke up to the fact just how much you relied on credit before.

 

I will get there just like all of you but it took us a few years to build the debt up it will take a few years to get out of it but one day just one day I will get there we all will xxx

 

Now I am stuck in a rut of eating, sleeping debt busting ways and challenges thanks to this site. Some days I feel like screaming down the phone to creditors other days I feel like hiding away especially at work when people talk about the credit crunch and the 'silly people' who are in debt and I sit there and think 'if only you knew, if only you knew' I think this is what happens after the LBM and starting out on a DMP, a rollercoaster of emotions thats what it is.

 

sorry for waffling but I feel so much better for typing that lot out

[Trilby274]

Well - welcome to the forums - a salutary tale and one that a lot of us will recognise! At least you have looked at the overall situation and realised where the initial fault lies - it is not an individual thing and it is never easy to admit that you've got it wrong. Think your OH must have been under a lot of pressure to turn to gambling and, worse, not being able to talk about it.

 

Now that you have got it off your chest, I do hope you will be able to go forward and reduce the debt to manageable levels in due course. Obviously, there is a long way to go and the first step would be to take a pair of scissors to the credit cards - or at least most of them. I've just done that, leaving two (one each) with reduced credit levels. There is a certain sense of being in control when you do that. For the last three months, every bit of mail offering loans and credit has been shredded and binned. It's tough at first and you have to go through everything and decide what you can do without - it's surprising how long the list can be!

 

Anyway, good luck with it - there are plenty of shoulders to cry on here.

 

[Toffee Penny]

Thank you Trilby, the site is huge, been lurking for a few days but took the plunge to join

[sea-sidelady]

Your story is very familiar. We are all in the same boat, so there is no need to be ashamed.

 

Have a look in the debt forums for help on your cards. Start a new thread for certain problems in the appropriate forums, if your not sure where, we can move it for you.

 

Do you have any bank/credit card charges? If so you can make a start on claiming those back.