Cheekiness towards a DCA

[joeybartonisadca]

Although my mother has had a DMP in place for a couple of years now, it still doesn't stop the cheeky gits phoning up and chancing their arm every now and again. This time though I had just the right idea.

 

Cq"What is your date of birth?"

Me"What is your bra size?"

Cq"I'm sorry?"

Me"I thought if we were asking personal questions on a first conversation I might as well get in there quick"

Cq"Could you please give me your reference number and answer my sec....."

Me"STOP!!"

 

Me"Hammer time"

Cq"You don't appear to be taking this very seriously?"

Me"You don't appear to be taking a DMP that has been in place for quite a while and never having missed a payment on it that seriously do you?"

Cq"Ican't discuss someone else's account with you"

Me"You sound nice, why don't we meet for a coffee, I'll pay, perhaps we could skip together in the park, I know a really nice place where we could have a picnic? My Mum will lend me the money"

Cq"Is your Mum the account holder?"

Me"I'm sorry I can't discuss someone else's account with you until you answer my security qustions"

Cq"Pardon?"

Me"How tall are you,what colour eyes do you have and why did you fail your GCSE's"

Cq"If you're not going to help me sir then I may as well hang up"

Me"Wait.....STOP"

Me"Hammer Time"

Cq"Click......(although I did hear some laughter, which must be a first!)"

[joeybartonisadca]

Was the young lady you spoke to called Emma by any chance?

If it was, she's a moose. I've seen her Myspace profile.

She has some really gormless mates who are likely to work at Capquest too.

 

Sign on the visitors exit of the Capquest office.....

 

"Please check your DNA on leaving, as mistakes cannot be corrected later."

 

 

I wonder who on this thead will be the first to get the mobile number and email address from a DCA employee they tried it on with when they called? hee hee

 

 

I sense a site challenge

[joeybartonisadca]

Just had one phone for my girlfriend, called Collect Direct. When they told me who they were I told them I was legally obliged to tell them that I was recording the telephone conversation and that the recorder was also linked up to a legal bull crap detector and if it beeped I would be forced to have to report them to OFT.

 

Hence some confusion on the end of the phone where they then told me that it was illegal for me to record their phone calls.

 

"Beep, beep, beep"

 

I'm sorry you have just set the detector off, I am going to have to terminate this call on the grounds that you don't know what you are speaking about. Good day.

[joeybartonisadca]

Oh dear it looks like Ron is throwing the toys out of the pram over on his personal forum aka Crudit Toady

 

CREDIT MANAGER

Ron Bidwell

 

Posts: 39

Joined: 24 Jan 08

08 January 2009 10:57 Reply

Quite right Yvonne. This person is using this forumn to attempt to get over a personal message. Everything this person writes is a dig at our profession. Shame they cant do it under their own name, instead of the cowardly manner used here. Who votes to eliminate this user ?

 

I do ! Bogus names are not respected on here. Just pay your debt.

 

Cowardly manner and just pay your debts. Now where have we heard this sort of pontificating before:rolleyes:

 

Ron should be thankful that anyone is even bothered to post on his Borefest Forum

 

 

What a bloody yawnathon lol!!

 

At the end of the day it's all quite simple really, if they keep their paperwork in the correct manner, they will have nothing to moan about. Unfortunately they like to try to pull the wool over people's eyes with lies, threats, abuse etc.

 

I'm fortunate that I don't owe any money, but as my girlfriend and my mother do and I am now on the case for them, these companies are gonna be a little less fortunate in the new year

[joeybartonisadca]

Phone rings:

 

Me: Hello

Collect Direct: Could I speak to a Miss x x xx x x

Me: Nope, she's not hear at the moment

Collect Direct: Could you tell me when she will be back?

Me: No, I'm sorry I can't, can you tell me who is calling please?

Collect Direct: It's a Mrs xxxx xxxx, I am phoning to do her a favour

Me: A favour? Ooooh, are you phoning to arrange the delivery of the Ferrari I know she has got me for my birthday?

Collect Direct: Sorry.....? A Ferrari?

Me: Yes, one of those big shiny red cars, they are very nice.

Collect Direct: No sir, I am not phoning in relation to that.

Me: Are you coming to repair the helicoptor she got for me with her lottery winnings last year?

Collect Direct: Helicoptor sir?

Me: Yes, one of those fabulous flying machines with spinny bits on it

Collect Direct: No sir, do you have any other number I can contact her on please

Me: I certainly do (gives out mobile number of local pizza parlour).

Me: You will have to ask for her by her 'stage name' though as they don't know her by her given name.

Collect Direct: Certainly sir, what is that?

Me: Marguerita Olive

Collect Direct: Thank you for your time

Me: You're most welcome and if you are coming to replace the speedboat can you make it before 3 p.m. as we like to go to the casino in the evenings. Thanks.

 

Click.

 

These people are fun.

[joeybartonisadca]

Who votes to elliminate Mr Bidwell then?

 

Dont all rush to vote at once

 

 

Yes, lets eliminate him!

 

I am so upset at not being allowed to play on their message boards. Whatever will I do with my time......

 

Ah, that's it.........CCA requests!!

[joeybartonisadca]

I bet Ron has a moustache. And wears ill fitting grey suits.

[joeybartonisadca]

Errm i may have got the domain but its a joint effort, so any input will be considered, as long as we cant get sued......... i cant afford that:p

 

 

No need to worry about getting sued.

 

Just put, "THIS WEBSITE IS VALID EVEN IF NOT READ BY YOU" on it.

 

Should do the trick

[joeybartonisadca]

I like the fact that they obviously think calling themselves 'Power2contact', in fact gives them power to contact.

 

If they showed up here I would introduce them to my new firm its called 'Power2throwbucketofwateroveryouandtakepictures' I'm sure I'll find a good home to post the pictures on though

[joeybartonisadca]

I want Collect Direct to call me again. I am missing Mrs Gallacher's tones

[joeybartonisadca]

That gives me a thought, next time one of these companies threaten a doorstep collection I might pretend to get really upset as without my doorstep I won't be able to get into my house

[joeybartonisadca]

What do we do about people that live in flats though? Perhaps we should start a doorstep collection for them too

[joeybartonisadca]

Dammit. I got botted :(