I have been released from the Bear Garden to come ask advise on ESA.

[SOD'EM]

Hello everyone,

 

I have spent a couple of days reading through these threads and am disgusted by the way some people have been treated by the DWP and the likes. Rather than hijack threads, I have decided now to start my own, with my own dilema.

 

A few of you will know me from the Bear Garden and Techy Forums (and others, but mainly them two) as being the joker in the crowd. I do try not to take life too seriously and hope I have made a few people smile.

 

Unfortunately, I have not been smiling myself inside and have plucked up the courage to tell my story and see if I can get some reassurance. I too feel myself in the very near future being screwed by ATOS and the DWP.

 

I'm sorry if this drags on, but it only makes sense to start at the beginning.

 

 

3 years ago, I was attacked by around 10-15 youths because I couldn't give them a cigarette (I didn't even smoke and would usually give anything to anyone who needed it, provided I had it). The result of this attack was a fractured skull, an orbital blow out (fractured eye socket) and a completely collapsed zygoma (the 4 bones that make up your cheekbone). I had a 7 hour operation to have titanium plates inserted and all my nerve endings on the right hand side of my face had to be severed to operate. Since then (and for the rest of my life) I have horrible pins and needles sensation to that side of my face.

 

I lost my job because of the time I was away from work so I applied for Jobseekers Allowance, which i received. I went for JSA because I felt fine up until about 6 months ago.

 

For some reason I started getting chest pains and felt really anxious. I lost my confidence and just didn't want to move or do anything. I didn't want to go out of the house and I just wanted everyone (and I mean everyone) to leave me alone. The CAG and television was fine for me.

 

I turned 40 at Christmas and knew that I should not be feeling this way. I should not be getting pins and needles in my arms, or chest pains. I should be able to go out of the house of a night time, not just mornings and early afternoon. I should be able to walk up any street instead of going the long way round because I can see hoodies and the like further up the street which I want to walk down. Then I was hauled into the Jobcentre and put on a New Deal Scheme which just made me feel worse. There was no way I could concentrate on getting back to work, although I desperately needed to. I confided in my Jobcentre Plus Advisor who could see that things were not right, and I was really anxious. She had worked there for 40 years and she knew that I wasn't faking it.

 

She advised me to see my GP (can't stand doctors), but reluctantly I made an appointment. When I went to my GP, the first thing she done was take my blood pressure which was (even after 3 tries) 183 over 116:shock:. She immediately put me on medication and also (after talking to me for a while) recommended that I speak to a help group called Inclusion Matters. Because of my blood pressure I was also asked to go for the usual tests (bloods, urine etc), which I did. She advised me not to do anything that could make matters work which included working. She gave me a medical certificate for 1 month which I gave to the DWP. They where pretty sympathetic when I explained to them. The doctor also wanted to see me after 4 weeks to get the results of my bloods and check my BP. After leaving the GP's, I immediately contacted Inclusion Matters and they agreed to talk to me on their next available appointment (26th May:shock:), so I agreed.

 

A month later, I returned to my GP (a different one this time), and my blood pressure was the same. The first doctor gave me 1.25mg of Ramipril but that hadn't touched the sides. So this doctor put me on 50mg of Losartan. Because I have had a dry cough for over a year, she also put me down for a chest x-ray. She too gave me a Medical Certificate for 1 month.

 

Shortly after this, I was short of breath (this was a few days later on Easter Saturday) so I went to A&E. The Triage nurse took me staright in (irregular pulse rate) and the next thing I knew, I had wires and needles and stuff sticking out of everywhere. My pulse rate and blood pressure were extremely high. After being in A&E for a couple of hours, they put me on the Medical Assessment Unit to be seen by a consultant. Gradually over the next 24 hours, my blood pressure and heart rate came down (they were still high, but not dangerously high), so they let me go home. They knew I was due to go back to my GP anyway.

 

In the meantime, I filled in the Yellow Pages sized ESA form for the DWP and explained to them to the best of my ability why I don't think it would be wise for me to work at this moment in time. I couldn't give them anymore as I am not a doctor/psychiatrist and was awaiting results of all my tests.

 

(Now may be a good time to tell you that my father had a cardiacharrest when he was 43 and he has had 8 heart attacks and a pacemaker fitted since:shock:. His brother died of heart disease when he was 51 and my grandad had to have a quadruple bypass when he was in his 40's, so that tells me that there is a history of heart problems in my family).

 

Anyhow, I received a phone call from ATOL saying that the DWP have asked them to make a medical assessment of me on 24th May. I also yesterday had an appointment with an ESA advisor at the Jobcentre Plus (which I attended). She actually said to me that I would probably pass the medical and be deemed fit for work as that is the result of most examinations (this is where I think all the problems are going to start). If the DWP are saying that most people get told they are fit for work, then I can guarantee (no matter what 2 GP's, 1 professor and 2 consultants have said), I will be deemed fit for work. She actually said "Don't worry about passing the examination as most people pass, and then you can just appeal against the decision. The appeal process can take 3-4 months and in that time we will not be pressuring you"!!!!!!!!????????. You will also still get your £64 a week during this time.....WHOOP DE DOO!!!!!!

 

 

What's all that about!!!!!???????

 

Anyhow, I have since seen a professor who checked my blood pressure and it was higher than the first time (yet again) so he doubled my medication to 100mg a day. I think that is the highest they can give you. The scary news was he gave me the long awaited test results. My bloods and urine were fine, but my chest x-ray shows that I have an unusually large heart (I am presuming that this has been caused by undetected high blood pressure over a long period of time). He has now told me that I have to go to hospital and see a cardiach specialist for a more thorough examination. (this has only made me even more anxious, as I know my families history of heart defects). He then gave me another 1 month certificate.

 

I am still waiting for my hospital appointment and still feel the same (if not worse) than I did a couple of months ago. But I still have to attend this stupid ATOS medical knowing that I will pass as fit for work. Of course I can tie my shoe laces and pick ten pence off the floor. I can even make my own way to the assessment. These are not the problems. I have an enlarged heart and extremely high BP which can result in heart failure/stroke at any time. I have been told to take it easy and not do anything physically or mentally too stressful. (would this include not attending this stupid assessment?). The reason I say stupid is because I don't beleive that these people are medically qualified enough to make a decision on who is fit for work or not.

 

Of course I want to be fit enough to earn money as soon as possible, but untill I have everything done (and spoke to the councillors) I don't think I can. I thought that it was all in my head, and that's why I was feeling this way. But I can't fake my blood pressure, and I certainly can't fake the fact that I have an enlarged heart and a huge family history of heart disease. Why can't they just contact all the specialists I have seen up to now and use their opinion to make their decision?

 

How can they possibly make an informed, professional medical assessment when they don't know all the problems. As far as I know, they don't have any medical equipment to do any tests either. All's they want to know, is if you can walk. If you can, then tough. Back to JSA and the pressure they constantly apply to the unwell (we don't all try to play the system). I have decided that if they say I am fit for work and I lose the appeal, I will just tell them to stop my benefits rather than go back on JSA. I will just have to struggle with nothing for as long as I can. I have worked ever since the day I left school and have never asked for anything.

 

ATOS is just like a wheel clamping company. The more wheels you clamp, the more money you get. Hence, the more people who get passed as fit for work, the more money they receive.

 

I think it's ridiculous.:mad:

 

Any advice will be muchly appreciated, and I am back off to the Bear Garden now until I get a reply.

 

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the essay:(.

Edited May 13, 2010 by SOD'EM

[SOD'EM]

Thanks Rae,

 

That's where the problem lies. I don't know if it's PTSD or a physical illness. Or both even. I don't know whether it is the PTSD that has caused my high blood pressure and the enlargening of my heart, and neither will ATOS. I only put HBP on the ESA50 form as I filled it in before I got the (verbal) results of my chest x-ray. So I will obviously inform them of this at the assessment. Unfortunately, I have nothing in writing to this affect. I will gladly give them permission to check my medical records and speak to anyone that has already assessed me. But I don't think that will happen, do you?

 

I have already resigned myself to the fact that I will lose on this assessment and will inevitably have to appeal. I still feel more anxious about that ordeal. I think the DWP told me (I should be able to remember because she only told me yesterday, but short term memory loss is another of my faults) that if I am refused, then during the appeal process, I have to attend back to work sessions with other people and classes and stuff. I just don't think I could handle that at the moment, so will have to surrender any entitlement to benefits whatsoever. My heart is more important to me than DWP forcing my BP so high that it explodes:p.

 

I will just have to suck it and see and keep you informed.

 

Thanks again Rae.

 

SOD'EM

 

ps. Scales duly tickled:)

[SOD'EM]

Thanks as well coutmein;)

[SOD'EM]

WOW!!! I can't beleive the response I have received, and I am truly grateful to you all. I receive ESA now and have doen for 8 weeks or so. I didn't realise that the amount changed at all (even after the assessment). I just thought that you were given a bit more leaway and not pressured as much into finding work until you felt able to. I cannot afford for this to be long term, I was hoping just for a few months and maybe things will brighten up.

 

My doctors are aware of my injuries in the past and are not discounting PTSD as the cause of the high blood pressure. Unfortunately, my GP's has about 10 doctors in it. I have just made another appointment for 2 weeks time because I will need a repeat prescription and hopefully another medical certificate. The problem I am worried about is that I have been given a different GP to see evry month. I have asked for the same one, but they are never available at the time I need them. I though giving 2 weeks notice would guarantee an appointment with the same GP. The medication/s they are trying are just to see which one works, as no of them have lowered my blood pressure yet. Maybe when I go to the hospital, the consultant there will know better. At the moment, I just feel like a guinea pig getting different medications and results with different doctors all the time. For instance. The Professor that I seen 2 weeks ago said he wanted to see again me in 4 weeks time. I have just tried to make an appointment with him, but he won't be available until 2 weeks after I need. So I have had to make an appointment with yet another doctor who has not yet met me and may not understand the underlying problems regardless of the enlarged heart and high blood pressure.

 

 

 

 

Kelcou........All your green blobs from now will be paler. Right up to the magic number 11 (that's the most you can get). I have been helping out in the debt and techy forums and have a few blobs myself:D.

 

It makes you feel that you have really helped someone when they thank you with a rep.

 

Thank You All.

Edited May 13, 2010 by SOD'EM

[SOD'EM]

PTSD........Depression.........Is there even a difference.

 

I think that I have my doctors baffled because it is highly possible that I am suffering from depression ( I have all the symptons that show on the leaflet I received from the DWP), but it could also be anxiety, stress,hypertension or even just all caused by my enlarged heart and high blood pressure. But seeing a different doctor every time does not help matters at all (I don't think so anyway). One may think I need one thing, the other may think I don't.

 

I'm starting to feel like a hypercondriach here but I am even confusing myself by not thinking straight. When I try to put it to the back of my mind and relax, it seems to get worse:confused:.

 

 

As for counselling, I have been referred (and have made an appointment for the 26th) to a group called Inclusion Matters. They start off with a telephone assessment and then take it from there.

 

 

The only similarity with all my doctors visits is that they have all told me while I was there to calm down.

 

 

[SOD'EM]

OOPS!!!!

 

I forgot to say. They are not telling me to calm down because I get aggresive or anything. It's just that they can see that I am not coping with things too well. I speak to them too quick and sometimes (and have never done before) stutter slightly. I can't keep my fingers or legs still either:confused:. Nobody will sit on the same couch as me as it is always shaking:p.

[SOD'EM]

I don't think I am well enough for a riot just yet:D.

 

Thanks to both of you.

 

Speedfreak, there is some exelent info that I have been looking for on that link you have provided. I will read and read for the next 11 days until my assessment. Thanks very much.

[SOD'EM]

Thank you as well honeybee.

 

I think you can say hash as long as it has the word volcano in front of it.

 

As for the psychiatrist part. I have been referred by one of my GP's to a group called Inclusion Matters. I can't speak to them until the 26th (which is after my medical assessment). As far as I know, they have psychiatrists there. I hope they are not just a support group. If they are, I will still see if they can help but will ask my GP if I can see someone that specifically deals with problems like mine. Maybe if a proper psychiatrist said it was all in my mind, I may just go back to normal (somehow doubt that though, not straight away anyway), but I don't think I could get my heart back to it's normal size (even if they get the right medication to help with my blood pressure).

 

I haven't mentioned to my GP about the problems I have sleeping as I don't want to take sleeping pills. But some nights when I am falling asleep (it's just as I have nodded off), there is a black figure that gets hold of me in a bear hug from behind, and squeezes the life out of me. I have to really will myself to wake up to stop it. It won't even let me turn round enough to see it's face. I fear if I told that to anyone but yourselves I would be carted of by the men with the white coats, and that's the last thing I want.

 

I also have this constant feeling that a brick is about to come through the window, and I haven't got a clue what that's all about.

 

When I first seen a GP, she said I should not have left it all to build up to this and I should have made an appointment as soon as things appeared different. As I said though, I don't like going to doctors (I know I'm not the only one there).

 

I am not a big fan of tablets but I obviously take the blood pressure ones. But even when I take one of them. I have to sit down about half an hour later as I go dizzy and I can feel my heart skipping beats and trying to jump out of my chest.

 

I have been told to expect an appointment to have a monitor attatched to me for 24 hours as I go about my daily routine to see if there are particular times of the day when these things happen.

 

I beleive ATOS declared Elvis fit for work last week:D

[SOD'EM]

Sod'em I read your story and I'm glad that you are getting support here.

 

The people here are incredibly kind. I would be in bits without them.

 

 

I have been a member here for 2 and a half years and I really wish I had have spoken up to you lot sooner. I am in awe of the support on this particular forum (I know there is the odd loser who has nothing better to do than to try and put people down). I know myself I should have done something sooner. It's hard to get people to understand when you appear alright from the outside. People used to say "are you listening to me" ages ago, and I didn't even know they were talking:confused: I suppose things were going wrong back then.

 

I spend most of my time on other CAG forums but will make a point to pass any advise I learn from yourselves and pass it on to future Caggers.

[SOD'EM]

Hi guys,

 

I have had time to look through other threads and have browsed through some links and I'm afraid it is worrying me more than it was. I have no letters from my doctors to take with me, and I have not been into hospital yet to have the tests needed for my enlarged heart. So basically, I am going with nothing.

 

Of course I can pick up a pound coin and I can walk 100 metres unaided, so what chance do I have? I have not seen a psychiatrist yet so cannot get a verdict on that. I know I can appeal, but have read that any extra evidence submitted after the decision ie, Doctors letters, psychiatrist reports cannot be submitted in an appeal. I would have to go through this all again:(.

[SOD'EM]

I read it on this thread doktojohn. I hope I have read it wrong.

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/benefits-tax-credits-minimum/259576-esa-appeal-today.html

[SOD'EM]

I've just had to ask my GP to fit me in for an emergency appointment this morning as I nearly passed out after taking my meds. I then came round and hit my father in the face. He's 75 for God's sake.

 

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm sure it is the unessecary anxiety I am putting on myself worrying about this ATOS appointment on Monday. Luckily, my dad isn't hurt too bad. But I am, inside.

Edited May 22, 2010 by SOD'EM
typo

[SOD'EM]

I have seen yet another different GP. She thinks that the meds I am on for my blood pressure are too strong so has halfed the dose (even though my BP is still well over the top). I have to go back next week to see if I need to take other meds with it. I have also been given Citalopram which is meant to help calm me down. Thank God for this site, as I think I would have completely lost it by now without it.

 

I just can't wait to get Monday over and done with. My appointment is first thing Monday morning which is the worst possible time, as people are grumpy then. Including ATOS medical officers:(.

[SOD'EM]

I can't possibly go on physical ailments, although I have an enlarged heart and high BP. I still don't know to what extent my heart may be damaged. As for Public Transport, that is a no no. I just can't hack too many people around me at the moment.

[SOD'EM]

Sorry guys for not posting yesterday, I was just too disgusted at how ATOS get away with what they do.

 

I was a nervous wreck when I arrived but they still made me wait nearly an hour before my name was called. Others must have thought I was a lunatic, I just couldn't keep still. When I actually got called, it was a doctor who could hardly speak any English (I think he was African). He proceeded with his assessment but he just sounded like a computer. He was reading the questions to me staright from his computer, but he just reeled them off one by one. He didn't listen to one thing I had to say. I was shaking, stuttering and at one point cried but he ignored that and carried on asking questions like "Do you go to the shops, if so is it a local shop or supermarket?", "Do you shave?", "Can you dress yourself?".

 

He must have my ESA form somewhere which tells them why I don't think I am able to work just yet. I asked him if he had any training in mental illnesses or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome but he just ignored me and carried on asking his pointless questions. I then told him that these questions are unnesesary because I can walk, lift (but nothing too heavy until I have seen a chardiologist) and even run, so why are you asking me these questions? There was not one question on mental issues, all questions related to physical issues. I am disgusted because I thought they had been told to include mental issues more now than they used to.

 

I tried telling him that I am worried I may hurt someone as I have recently been hitting walls and stuff and breaking things (all of which are totally out of character for me), but he just ignored it again. I told him I have recently had night terrors and have had a few bedtime accidents. Again, he ignored this. He did take my blood pressure which was 191 over 107:eek:, but I don't think that helps me one bit.

 

The actual assessment only took about 20 minutes before he just said "I think I have enough information now to do my report", and then told me I could go.

 

I can't beleive he never had any questions regarding my problems and I obviously know what response I am going to get from the DWP. So it looks like appeal time. I now also have to go to my GP's on a weekly basis as I am taking Anti Depressants and I have had to cut down the dosage on my BP tablets because the stronger ones where making me collapse. I will now have to have more than one tablet to control my BP as it is still much too high.

 

If I think of anything else I will post it. But I feel sorry for anyone that has to go through that ridicule I went through yesterday. It's a total shambles.

[SOD'EM]

That is typical. Chances are that this guy is not a proffessional and is in training, hence the reading the questions out from the screen. It's cheaper for them to use non qualified staff in training and they are trained to get the results they need.

 

I am sure that you have the right for a second opinion. Are you on anti-depresents? I know its horrible to ask and a pill that changes your life but it can help if you are becuase it will automatically place you on the records with a mental issue. No offense, due to work issues I am now on anti-depresents. The pills have helped keep me calm but I dont have the interviews that you have.

 

 

I started on Anti Depressants on Friday, early days yet.

 

The assessor had a badge saying DR on it, so I presumed he was a doctor. But we all know what presumption has done in the past:rolleyes:.

 

Thanks for your concern. Indeed, I thank everyone on here for their concern. It has helped me a great deal.

[SOD'EM]

To be honest, I am not bothered either way. I just cannot cope with the way JSA badger you into doing things that I don't feel I can cope with at the moment. It's not about the money. I just want them to give me time to get myself sorted out. I beleive the appeal process can take 6-9 months. Hopefully by that time I will feel better and can get back into the work scenario.

[SOD'EM]

Thanks for all your support and I will obviously keep everyone up to scratch as things happen. Does anyone have any idea as to how long it will be before I hear from the DWP?

[SOD'EM]

Definitely a boy HB (last time I looked anyway).

 

I thought they would'nt be able to wait to let me know that ATOS have said I am fit for work (I am 99% certain that is what they are going to say anyway). Shall I just keep sending my medical certificates in then?

[SOD'EM]

Thanks Bookie.

 

Can you wing some of that Prozac to me please:p.

 

I am only on mild AD's at the moment as I really didn't want to go on them at all. My Blood Pressure has stayed high (regardless of the meds I have had). I just couldn't beleive that the ATOS (and I use this term loosely) doctor did not ask me one question regarding Mental Health (even though he could clearly see I was shook up and uncomfortable). He did feel my palm and he could see that it was all clammy, but that didn't seem to bother him.

 

I couldn't understand most of the things he said either. I understood the questions as he must have asked them a million times to other people. It was as if he was reading them from a book.

 

Unbeleivable:mad:

[SOD'EM]

I wouldn't get through an interview at this time. Never mind keep a job.

 

Also, the black figure just bear hugs me from behind so I can hardly breathe. I am asleep and try to turn my head to see if I can see a face, but my neck is stuck. It must be like when you are running in your sleep when being chased, but you run really slow. Apparantly that is because your body is really trying to move, but because you are asleep, you can't move.

 

I really didn't want to print this, but here goes.

 

Whilst the black figure has got hold of me, I manage to say the Lords Prayer in my sleep. As soon as I have said "Amen", the figure lets go and I wake up. I stay rather calm through the whole procedure.

 

 

Well I've said it, and it was nice knowing you all.

 

 

 

Edited May 27, 2010 by SOD'EM

[SOD'EM]

I'm sorry everyone, didn't mean to cause alarm. I was editing the post, so I couldn't put a proper smiley face at the end of the sentence so you could see it was not a serious post. A bit childish, I know. I was trying to lighten the tone of a more serious situation, and that seems to help me a little. Maybe if I can make other people smile, I may smile myself.

 

You're not getting rid of me that easy:p, I'm here for good and to help anyone else who I can. Just like you lot are doing for me.

 

Sorry for the confusion again peeps.

Edited May 27, 2010 by SOD'EM

[SOD'EM]

 

 

 

No Bookie, your fat makes you look fat:D.

 

 

 

Sorry, you know I love you really;).

 

 

 

 

 

ps. For all other readers of this thread, Bookie and I have a certain raport.

 

ie. I say something stupid, and she gets me back by no uncertain terms.

[SOD'EM]

I also feel I must say this.

I have made a lot of friends on this site (especially in the Bear Garden), and I think it's amazing the way everyone rallies together if they feel that a friend is in need.

 

It really does mean a hell of a lot to me and others in need.

 

Thanks guys.

[SOD'EM]

Yep, That's meeeeeeeeeee.