A complicated marital issue (not mine)... your opinions would be appreciated...

[emmaf01]

I am suspicious that part of the problem might be that he has psychologically abused your friend. Domestic abuse doesn't have to be physical or sexual- it can consist of psychological and financial abuse.

 

She sounds afraid to cross him because of what he might do- she sounds scared that he will act in a manner that may not cause her physical harm but definitely harm.

 

This is just as bad as physical abuse and the damage can last much longer.

 

It might be an idea to get some info regarding this, as if your friend realised what this man was doing to her, she might start to find her anger and fight back.

 

She's still lucky to have a good friend to help and support her through this horrid experience.

[emmaf01]

With my previous partner it wasn't until I saw a sign on a door in a health centre loo detailing financial and psychological abuse that I realised I was being abused. It still took me another six months to get out of the relationship, plus another six before he heeded my solicitors letters and got lost. Sad but true.

 

Funnily enough it took me getting a solicitor and refusing to speak to him or his mother or respond to their abusive letters and phone calls. (They wanted money off me too- even though I had none.)

 

I hope your friend finds the strength to stand up to him. The one thing I am eternally grateful for is that me and my ex never had children together. It must make it all ten times more difficult.Because they will use any method to manipulate and control.

 

You can tell her til you're blue in the face, but (from my experience) until something clicks inside her head she won't be able to understand and fully fight back. I suppose she has to understand she is worth better than this.

[emmaf01]

God he's a right *******, isn't he. what a truly wonderful human being.

 

As I read on a previous post (about some debt collectors), he's proof that cavemen did more with pigs that roast them.

 

You're friend seems to be becoming more enlightened about his true nature though, which is brilliant news. More power to such a wonderful woman.

 

He's not a gambling addict as well... because he really reminds me of an ex I used to know!